Comments on: Super-Duper-Size Me

Super-Duper-Size Me

mr_crash_davis — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:04:14 -0800

Hungry? Arteries not quite plugged enough? Behold, the Big MacChicken.

By: stbalbach

stbalbach — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:06:07 -0800

No fish? McSurf, bird and turf.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:12:59 -0800

From the author: "The Big MacChicken sandwich got me all fucked up. I need to take a few days off to figure some shit out. Maybe I’ll come back and share some of the heathier shit I’ve been eating." Heavy, man.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:16:44 -0800

No bacon? Amateur.

By: isopraxis

isopraxis — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:24:48 -0800

Viral deep fat chicken fried marketing? Could it be that this was the coup de grace of McDonald's main ad guy who recently snuffed it? Nah, I'm just chain yankin' over a big ass macChicken and wishin' I had one right about now, 'cause it looks nutritious, don't it?

By: isopraxis

isopraxis — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:26:37 -0800

(that link is an in-joke for a very exclusive crowd.)

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:27:50 -0800

"Thoughts of running to the restroom to vomit are racing through my head. I have a conference call in 20 minutes and I don’t know if I can make it." See, that wasn't too bright. Do the wacky, dangerously overdone food experiments on the weekend, preferably Saturday, to give you at least one day to recover.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:29:14 -0800

Have you ever tried the bacon McD's uses on its breakfast sandwiches and select chicken thingies??? (they don't even offer a Bacon Burger, unless they have some secret menu shit happening) It's not the standard-quality meat/smoke/crunch/nirvana of most bacon, it's more like a salt lick glued onto pork rind. Not good, even by their mediocre standards.

By: SteveTheRed

SteveTheRed — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:31:02 -0800

Needs butter.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:35:27 -0800

You don't bring your own bacon everywhere? Psh.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:37:19 -0800

Krusty: Look... about the rib-wich... There aren't gonna be any more... The animal we made them from are now extinct... Homer: The pig? Otto: The cow? Krusty: You're way off... think smaller... think more legs! Crowd: Ewww... Krusty: People, we went through something magical together... And it's not important who got rich off of whom or who was exposed to tainted warts...

By: mikesch

mikesch — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:44:15 -0800

Apologies for the self link but it kind of fits here. Since the McGriddle is my guiltiest of guilty pleasures a week ago I was wondering what one would taste like made with decent ingredients (real cheese, real bacon (in a baconweave), real pancakes, real syrup, Plugra butter): Behold the UberGriddle

By: synaesthetichaze

synaesthetichaze — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:47:33 -0800

What the sandwich really needs is to be battered and deep-fried whole, covered in chocolate, and then placed inside of a chicken, which is inside of a duck, which is in turn inside of a turkey. Then the entire conglomeration is covered in bacon, basted with caramel and deep-fried again. Then we can start talking about side dishes.

By: ben242

ben242 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:51:45 -0800

Elvis used to eat fifty of these for a midmorning snack.

By: hjo3

hjo3 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:53:08 -0800

I think this would be better if you used the patties and chicken from Wendy's.

By: synaesthetichaze

synaesthetichaze — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:53:14 -0800

Side dish 1: a bacon-crust pizza, with Snickers bars as a topping. Also deep-fried (like they do in Scotland) Side dish 2: a Shoofly pie. Only a madman would add anything to this. Served with a glass of gravy.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:53:25 -0800

Then we can start talking about side dishes. Don't mess with Texas.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:56:58 -0800

Meat is the new bread!

By: majikstreet

majikstreet — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:57:57 -0800

Oh god.. that's a fast track to a heart attack

By: jefbla

jefbla — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:10:29 -0800

Just looking at that made me diarrhea my pants. Seriously, I have to go change my underwear.

By: felix betachat

felix betachat — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:12:19 -0800

I'm underwhelmed. The special sauce could have been replaced by foie gras. Instead of pickles, he could have used pickled pigs feet. The onions could have been replaced with tripe. And the lettuce? Try week-old corned beef hash. The holy grail of an all-meat Big Mac has yet to be realized. This amateur is pretending at a man's game.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:13:25 -0800

I think just substituting the two-all-beef-patties in the Big Mac with two McChicken patties or Filet-O-Fish squares would be some of the best food-hacking you can do at Mickey D's. Or try two sausage patties from Jack in the Box's "Extreme Sausage Breakfast Sandwich" (which are bigger than any sausage used by McD or BK), or just get thee to a Chick-Fil-A for your sandwich-able chicken needs. Jack's also has breaded fried Mozzerella Sticks which are a most excellent substitution for the uninteresting cheese on most fast food burgers. Carl's Jr./Hardees did a 'hack' on their Western Bacon Burgers of using Onion Rings instead of raw onion that I consider the one true justification for those chains to exist. And mikesch's UberGriddle is nice, but I'm not sure if the sharp cheddar is the right way to upgrade the cheese. I'd go with a relatively-thick layer of the more-breakfast-friendly cream cheese myself. And does anybody remember, those 30-odd years ago when the Egg McMuffin was first introduced, it came with a packet of jelly to spread on one half of the muffin, if you were thusly inclined? I loved that, and for years, when I would bring any fastfood breakfast sandwich in to my work, I'd whip out a jar of Smuckers Strawberry Jam or Knotts Boysenberry and apply liberally to the muffin/biscuit/bun... Oddly, I've been experiencing all 5 steps of the Pepto Bismol dance today, so I'm not in the mood to actually EAT anything, but I'm enjoying the hamburger hacking. But synaesthetichaze, you are so stealing from the SNL Taco Ad Absurdum bit...

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:25:49 -0800

Little known fact about McDonald's: There is a secret menu item known as the "McCube". A McCube is simply a hamburger sandwich after you discard all those bits you really don't want anyway. It is a cube of meat and grease the size of your head, formed from dozens of hamburger patties, cheese, fries, fried cheese or whatever delicious non-vegetable matter you can cram into the cubing-press. You can order your McCube a variety of ways. Undoubtably the deep-fried MegaMeat McCube with Cheese is a best seller, but chicken-fried bacon-bacon McBaconCubes are also highly popular. The breakfast McCube is over 12 pounds of highly compressed sugar, starch and fat - just the ticket for the truly hungry professional on the go. And at only 12,783 calories (per cubic inch) it's truly a healthy option for morning breakfasts.

By: synaesthetichaze

synaesthetichaze — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:28:55 -0800

I had never actually seen that wendell, thanks for the link... the tote bag is what makes it truly hilarious. The real origin of my ramblings is, at work we have a running contest as to who can create the most horrifyingly ridiculous imaginary foodstuff. I always win. I just thought I would share the love with mefi.

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:32:51 -0800

Note to self: hire synaesthetichaze to cater next imaginary dinner party.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:36:42 -0800

it's more like a salt lick glued onto pork rind You say that like it's a bad thing.

By: synaesthetichaze

synaesthetichaze — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:36:50 -0800

loquacious, I had a MegaMeat McCube once, but a single sesame seed had strayed from an erstwhile bun and corrupted it completely. My advice for the true gastronomic thrill-seeker is to find the nearest Hardee's (arrive in disguise), head to the condiment bar and scrawl the following on a napkin: 1 MeatWaffle Hand this to the cashier without speaking. S/he will eat the napkin, and not respond. Immediately leave, again without speaking. The next day, a black van will be parked in your driveway or otherwise within sight of your residence. Hand the driver 1 ounce of solid platinum, three hairs plucked from your own head, and a single drop of your own blood. Take 2 weeks vacation. You will have satiety.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:40:54 -0800

Five Words: In And Out Mutant Style.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:42:46 -0800

Mutant style? I've heard of animal style, but what the fuck is mutant style?

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:43:56 -0800

EXPLAIN DAMN YOU OR YOU WILL END NO SO VERY WELL, WENDELL. Oh, god, salivating...

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:44:33 -0800

this is nothing... eat a cow covered with melted butter and bacon and I'll be impressed....

By: c0nsumer

c0nsumer — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:54:25 -0800

See also: The 20x20. (I mirrored the images a few years back after getting direct permission from the guy who actually did the eating.) That burger is incredible, and from what I've heard has caused a number of In N Outs to limit the number of patties they will now put on a single "burger".

By: Frasermoo

Frasermoo — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:54:56 -0800

Blazecock Pileon that link was awesome. and seeing the cigarette smoke mixed in with the shots... well that sure as gosh darrnit is movie legend.

By: piratebowling

piratebowling — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:02:46 -0800

20 x 20? Amateur.

By: mr_book

mr_book — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:09:11 -0800

Alas, my gastronomic capacity knows no satiety.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:32:17 -0800

All them ingredients, and they plum forgot the babies.

By: mosk

mosk — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:53:33 -0800

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Taco Bell's Five Ingredients Combined In Totally New Way.

By: fuzzypantalones

fuzzypantalones — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:20:42 -0800

im still stuck on the bacon bowl.

By: Ogre Lawless

Ogre Lawless — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:17:39 -0800

Man, that's the awesome. The Internet -is- good for something other than pron!

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:29:08 -0800

That burger is incredible, and from what I've heard has caused a number of In N Outs to limit the number of patties they will now put on a single "burger". This is what we call a bad business decision. Some dude comes into your store and wants to buy $100 of your product, and you decide to forbid it.

By: sexyrobot

sexyrobot — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 23:24:46 -0800

that is worse than tubgirl...seriously, this needs a 'NSFW'

By: blacklite

blacklite — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 01:17:58 -0800

He didn't even finish it! If you're going to put your burger experience on the internet, eat the fucking thing. It's just 3 McChickens. I'm pretty sure I could do it. Not... completely sure. But I know I could have in high school. Anyway, the worst/best part of this post was seeing the "http://www.groceryeats.com" and thinking "hah! Grocer Yeats! What a clever name!" Disappointment soon followed. :(

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 03:51:13 -0800

That is fucking disgustipating. I just... I mean... Why would you... what the fuck is wrong with some people, man? I need to lie down.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:02:51 -0800

See also: The 20x20. I just checked out the page, and the weirdest part was the Google Ad that appeared on the side, asking "Sick of being fat?" OBVIOUSLY NOT, ASSHOLES WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED

By: danb

danb — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:49:08 -0800

Every time I see a post like this it reminds me that I ate at dinner at McDonald's right after seeing Super Size Me.

By: thisjax

thisjax — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:32:20 -0800

synaesthetichaze, if you're going for classy that meal just has to be washed down with a gravytini. With a blob of some as-greasy-as-possible bacon replacing the customary olive, 'natch.

By: sharpener

sharpener — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 09:44:29 -0800

Man, this is what the internets is all about.

By: doctorschlock

doctorschlock — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:05:24 -0800

When it is mortgage time and I'm short of money. I hit McDees dollar menu. 2 double cheeseburgers and a McChicken. I'm no snob when it comes to hunger. #$%@ fat and cholesterol. If I'm gonna die...I'm gonna die..but I'll be damned if I die hungry.

By: artifarce

artifarce — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:19:03 -0800

mikesch, nice job on the bacon weave. That really elevates that already tasty-looking sandwich to pure genius. Really, I am so sick of the bacon falling out of my sandwiches.

By: artifarce

artifarce — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:21:18 -0800

Otherwise, I thought the OP was kind of dumb. Sorry. It's a link of the "what can an infinite amount of monkey unleashed at a McDonald's invent, given enough time?" variety.

By: [son] QUAALUDE

[son] QUAALUDE — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:56:33 -0800

disgustipating +1!

By: ninjew

ninjew — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 11:10:27 -0800

Man, that's the awesome. The Internet -is- good for something other than pron! Don't kid yourself. Meat? Sauce? Far more than necessary all at once? This is also porn.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 11:13:43 -0800

Also, how did you all miss the motherfucking meat house?

By: tehloki

tehloki — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 11:48:08 -0800

I am so glad my taste buds are fully satiated by a well-made vegetable curry. SO INFINITELY FUCKING GLAD

By: CrayDrygu

CrayDrygu — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 12:20:35 -0800

synaesthetichaze: "The real origin of my ramblings is, at work we have a running contest as to who can create the most horrifyingly ridiculous imaginary foodstuff. I always win." I have a friend I do this with, but we go for "disgusting" over "ridiculous." So far the champion is the Campbell's Chunky Clam Chowder Popsicle (which, it was decided, was more disgusting than the previous Chunky Chicken Noodle Popsicle).

By: MtDewd

MtDewd — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 12:56:18 -0800

I can't remember if this was on the internets or TV, but I saw a guy zip open a whole can of Spam and put it between two slices of bread and eat it. It's real quick and easy (and another one of those things I wish I had never watched).

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 14:11:29 -0800

Meh. Guys at Enron ate these for lunch every day and called for more.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:53:11 -0800

GOD BLESS UHMERICA

By: emmling

emmling — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 02:23:49 -0800

MegaMac The latest version of it had bacon as well.

By: Devils Slide

Devils Slide — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:38:48 -0800

I've moved on from In-N-Out. My new favorite fast food burger is the Carl's Jr. Guacamole Bacon Six Dollar Burger*. There are over half a dozen varietes of the Six Dollar Burger, the newest being the Chili Cheese SDB, but I almost always get the guacamole bacon one. It's a "charbroiled 100% Black Angus beef patty, guacamole, two strips of bacon, two slices of melted pepperjack cheese, lettuce, two slices of tomato, red onions, and Santa Fe sauce on a toasted sesame seed bun". Because it's spendy (just over $5), they always make it fresh; they never just make a bunch and let them wilt under a heat lamp. And you can request it cooked to order. Those things will be the death of me, I'm averaging 2-3 per week. IANAFFFS -- I am not a fast food franchise shill...and if I AM one, I'm only mentioning my favorite aorta plug on the Blue because I'm sleep deprived.