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Evil email and intense investigation
March 2, 2008 12:19 AM   Subscribe


 
Like Michael Pare and Willem Dafoe in the climatic fight scene of Walter Hill’s classic 1984 action flick Streets of Fire, for almost two years, according to the state and her defense attorneys, Rachel Guyon and the attorney general’s office have swung sledgehammers at each other.
Because being both obscure and awkward is the mark of a great simile.

Though actuallly I do remember the scene vividly, I don't recall that they spent two years at it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:31 AM on March 2, 2008 [10 favorites]


She points out that Shurtleff’s investigators served 10 U.S. Department of Homeland Security summons on various information networks, including Yahoo! and MSN, along with Weber State University. The summons were issued at the end of 2006 and early 2007 to secure the Internet and scholastic records of Guyon and another student suspect later disregarded.

Guyon sounds kind of foreign. She might be French-Canadian terrarist. A perfectly valid abuse of privacy.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:40 AM on March 2, 2008


One of the most poorly written articles I can recall reading in a long time.
posted by RavinDave at 12:50 AM on March 2, 2008 [5 favorites]


Agree -- awful, horrible, very bad article. I'd have a few dozen unanswered questions if I gave a tinker's god-damn about SLC.
posted by Clave at 1:09 AM on March 2, 2008


Like Michael Pare and Willem Dafoe in the climatic fight scene of Walter Hill’s classic 1984 action flick Streets of Fire, for almost two years, according to the state and her defense attorneys, Rachel Guyon and the attorney general’s office have swung sledgehammers at each other. Guyon’s sledgehammer, the state claims, was her use of fake e-mail accounts and sexual messages. The attorney general’s sledgehammer, her attorneys say, was their use of all the investigative power and resources brought to bear once they decided she was the e-mailer bent on spreading salacious rumors about their staff around their own office and Weber State. Each side claims the other is a menace to public safety. Dig into the documents at the heart of the case—in particular, a recently filed synopsis of 150 e-mails—and what emerges is less a story about the bizarre antics of at least one hyperactive and emotionally disturbed e-mailer than it is just how desperate and exasperated the e-mailer’s alleged victims have become. Given the sheer magnitude of the attorney general’s investigation—700-plus pages of discovery so far and counting—the question that finally emerges is whether or not the attorney general’s investigatory heft and the subsequent prosecution fit the crime.


Seriously? Somone got paid to write (and even worse, edit) this crap?
posted by Joseph Gurl at 1:33 AM on March 2, 2008


Do better, hometown!
posted by OrangeDrink at 1:44 AM on March 2, 2008


Somone got paid to write (and even worse, edit) this crap?

It's a free paper and worth every penny you paid for it.

Seriously though, if you thought the article was bad, you should try reading the comments beneath. That writer obviously knows their audience.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:21 AM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


She was just phishing phor attention and they phell for it.
posted by srboisvert at 3:16 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Seriously though, if you thought the article was bad... That writer obviously knows their audience."

(Sometimes the snark just writes itself.)
posted by Mike D at 4:31 AM on March 2, 2008


Like Spongebob Squarepants teasing Sandy the Squirrel about the inadequacies of the State of Texas, Rachel Guyon messed with the bull that is a state attorney general and, unsurprisingly, got both horns.
posted by mrmojoflying at 5:03 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


If someone smeared shit all over my house, I would show restraint by not going out, searching for them, and running them down with my car. But I would want my revenge, oh, yes, and I would most likely mortgage my shit-smeared house to pay for lawyers to *sue your ass.*

At the same time, someone had better check to see if Rachel Guyon is mentally competent to stand trial.

Because have you ever tried to fight with a sledgehammer? It's insanely hard to do.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:20 AM on March 2, 2008


Gosh, it's a story as convoluted in its pompous, Byzantine circuitousness as the song lyrics of Jim Steinman, who wrote "Tonight Is What It Means to Be Young," the nauseating number performed by a slit-skirted Diane Lane in Streets of Fire, and as breathtakingly twisted as the hilarious Dune-ish hairdo sported by Willem Dafoe in same.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:55 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


Like Spongebob Squarepants teasing Sandy the Squirrel about the inadequacies of the State of Texas, Rachel Guyon messed with the bull that is a state attorney general and, unsurprisingly, got both horns.

Like that time on Lost, when Charlie said something funny, I laughed at this.
posted by thanotopsis at 6:04 AM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


They used Homeland Security summonses to avoid court oversight on misdemeanor charges. Did I get that right?

I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of that kind of thing in the future.
posted by mediareport at 6:11 AM on March 2, 2008


Can someone sum up? I couldn't get past the first page of that dreck.
posted by dobbs at 6:37 AM on March 2, 2008


Can someone sum up?

Female student sends fake emails bad-mouthing members of the DA's staff who also happens to teach as her law professor.

DA pursues said student using secretive and unappealable Homeland Security-based legal instruments over the kind of comments that wouldn't even get you a Metatalk call-out in these parts. DA's were also using their own legal staff to represent them, and getting lawyers from Victims Support because they're purportedly so traumatized by these emails that they can't represent their own interests in these hearings.

They found her because the emails purported to be invitations to an escort agency and the student worked at an escort agency. I'm guessing she's a little unstable.

Bottom line: DA is using Willem Dafoe's sledgehammer to crack a nut that actually came pre-crushed. American law enforcement people show themselves to be insane, power-crazed fascists. A bunch of Mefites pipe up with the usual 'me too!'/'how dare they!'

And, um.. that's about it, really.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:10 AM on March 2, 2008 [9 favorites]


Thanks.
posted by dobbs at 7:19 AM on March 2, 2008




Bottom line: DA is using Willem Dafoe's sledgehammer to crack a nut that actually came pre-crushed.


Beautiful...just beautiful.
posted by mrmojoflying at 7:34 AM on March 2, 2008


Before the camera, she’s restrained but seductive, her schooled features one moment arrogant, the next almost Lolita-plaintive. Tears render her eyes glassy at times, but they never fall.

Even if I overlook issues of style and quality, I find myself wondering... How is this journalism?
posted by Clay201 at 7:42 AM on March 2, 2008


The Scott Templeton school of journalism?
posted by arruns at 8:00 AM on March 2, 2008 [4 favorites]


The Humbert Humbert school of journalism.
posted by sonic meat machine at 8:06 AM on March 2, 2008 [3 favorites]


Could've been worse. All this could've happened on alt.fan.harlan.ellison.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:14 AM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


The Scott Templeton school of journalism?

Good to see references to the final season of The Wire entering into the cultural lexicon already. And no, I'm not being sarcastic.
posted by inoculatedcities at 8:44 AM on March 2, 2008


I loved the whole threatening pimp thing. Bullshit from the start. It feels like all of our social issues are decided by cases revolving around the collision of two total knuckleheads.
posted by atchafalaya at 8:45 AM on March 2, 2008


Can someone sum up?

Someone sends DA salacious messages. Email is sent back requesting they stop.

Email continues. Using no warrants the email is tracked back to University. The university refuses to hand over its internet records without a warrant, but assists in narrowing the field to two students.

Both students are interviewed, and the suspicion lands on the Photogenic White Girl.

PWG verbally admits to some but not all of the DA related shenanigans, says she'll stop now.

Salacious messages continue. DA sends PWG mail saying "Enough. Write out a full accounting of all of the shenanigans and stop new ones, or this becomes a legal issue."

PWG refuses to confess on the grounds of not wanting to incriminate herself, messages continue.

DA gets a restraining order against PWG restricting her from having any contact with the the DA. Messages continue.

DA decides to pull out the sledgehammer. Warrants will used with ISPs to gather smoking gun evidence tying PWG to salacious messages.

ATTENTION, WE HAVE NOW REACHED THE MEAT OF THE STORY

Instead of getting court approved warrants, the DA goes directly for the Homeland Security "We don't need no stinkin' legal oversight" warrants.

ATTENTION, WE HAVE NOW LEFT THE MEAT OF THE STORY

With smoking gun in hand, DA accuses PWG of violating her restraining order.

PWG's restraining order is expanded to forbidding her access to the internet except when explicitly supervised by her Mother.

Messages continue. DA arranges surveillance, PWG is photographed using the internet in a cafe and a campus lab.

DA hands all of the evidence over to a neighboring DA and asks them to review it and prosecute if necessary.

Neighboring DA sends some officers by to handcuff PWG and she is brought down for questioning.

PWG is on trial for harassment and violation of her restraining order, has extremely overwritten article about her in local free paper.
posted by tkolar at 8:51 AM on March 2, 2008 [6 favorites]


This is great from a national perspective. When DHS writs came about Credulous American argued that there was no way that they'd be abused like the pre-1970s era. Now we have exhibit A: DHS writs being used for zero-oversight harassment.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 8:52 AM on March 2, 2008


Seems to me I've read that the average carrier group in the US arsenal devotes about 80% of its firepower to defending itself. This pathetic, mentally disturbed girl shows that figure can rise to something like 95-100% in the case of the Utah AG's office.

Organized crime could easily tip over the entire state of Utah as long as Shurtleff is Attorney General-- all they would have to do is find an emailer with a gossipy turn of mind among the prostitutes they control to throw his office into a hysterical frenzy, and it's open season.
posted by jamjam at 9:12 AM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


Before the camera, she’s restrained but seductive, her schooled features one moment arrogant, the next almost Lolita-plaintive. Tears render her eyes glassy at times, but they never fall.

I tried to read this but I had a stroke and died.
posted by Avenger at 9:14 AM on March 2, 2008 [3 favorites]


Doesn't the District Attorney's Office have a spam filter?
posted by Sys Rq at 9:17 AM on March 2, 2008


(or Attorney General or whatever)
posted by Sys Rq at 9:18 AM on March 2, 2008


Like anyone watched Streets of Fire. "I Can Dream About You" was pretty great, though. (Four-man moonwalking!)
posted by kirkaracha at 9:19 AM on March 2, 2008


Doesn't the District Attorney's Office have a spam filter?

Nope, and they're beginning to feel their penises are inadequate.
posted by tkolar at 9:32 AM on March 2, 2008 [4 favorites]


What the fuck is this article about? I am filled with rage.
posted by Krrrlson at 10:16 AM on March 2, 2008 [4 favorites]


What the fuck is this article about?

A student hooker who is over-enthusiastic in the pursuit of trade and an Attorney General who thinks his penis is a national monument being threatened by terrorists.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:38 AM on March 2, 2008 [5 favorites]


Krrrlson writes "What the fuck is this article about? I am filled with rage."

It's about a Utah DA abusing the post-9/11 kneejerk legislation to make an illegal end run around the courts system for the purpose of demanding information from an ISP without a warrant.

It'll be funny if the DA goes down for this, and by funny, I mean appropriate.
posted by mullingitover at 10:43 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


Peter McDermott, I just have to ask: why do you hate freedom so much?

PENIS freedom.
posted by ikkyu2 at 10:44 AM on March 2, 2008



It'll be funny if the DA goes down for this, and by funny, I mean appropriate.


This probably isn't the case that will happen in, since he pretty clearly could have gotten bench warrants if he had bothered to go that route.

Most likely he'll get a slap on the wrist and be told to use the appropriate mechanism next time.
posted by tkolar at 10:47 AM on March 2, 2008


I now refuse to read any article anywhere on the internet unless PeterMcDermott summarises it for me first.
posted by flashboy at 10:47 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


Although now that I think of it, the judge presiding over the harassment case could easily decide to get huffy and toss all the evidence that stems from the inappropriate warrants.
posted by tkolar at 10:49 AM on March 2, 2008


Man, tkolar, your reading comprehension is impressive. I got the general idea (bad attorney general! no using DHS for personal vendettas!) but FUCK that article was bad. I'm thinking of bookmarking it just to remember anyone can get published.
posted by graventy at 11:18 AM on March 2, 2008


Like anyone watched Streets of Fire.

Too bad they didn't devise any kind of Eddie & The Cruisers comparison. Because then the article might've been awesome.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:25 AM on March 2, 2008


Or Basic Instinct
posted by KokuRyu at 11:45 AM on March 2, 2008


I really want to know more about this author, who, in the year 2008, is making a Streets of Fire reference. I am hoping for some weird Provo suburb where people have a cargo cult like reverence for Streets of Fire. Bumper stickers all "What Would Pere Do?", people all defending Spiderman 2 with "well you know, Willem Defoe was in the Wooster Group."
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 12:11 PM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


This is just 99 flavours of fucked up.
posted by tehloki at 12:12 PM on March 2, 2008


I've been googling around for another news story on this - because yes, the writing is terrible in this piece and makes me wonder about the credibility of the reporting. But am findina nada. Anyone else?

Something I was confused by was this part:

"She works as a teacher’s aide at James E. Moss Elementary in Granite School District, earning $10.86 an hour."
and
"Guyon joined the escort trade to make more money, Rogers says. She worked as an independent escort in the spring of 2006, according to a police report filed after she had submitted an application to Salt Lake County for a sexually orientated business license."

So - she's a college student and a teacher's aid and an escort? (Does this sound like a bad Lifetime movie to anyone else?!)
And after this article the Utah public school system is ok with her being an aide? There's no parental angst anywhere? (Maybe parents are more leniant in Utah and I have a huge misperception of standard reaction to this.)
I'm not finding the links to any of that online - but I'm thinking it's my bad google skills.
Still looking...
posted by batgrlHG at 12:27 PM on March 2, 2008


Because have you ever tried to fight with a sledgehammer? It's insanely hard to do.

Idunno, sledgehammers are pretty hard, sure, but I've got it all over them for speed & agility.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:27 PM on March 2, 2008


From both of the summary posts I've seen in this thread, this girl really screwed herself hard.

If i recall correctly, there were a bunch of agencies that are now under the "Dept of Homeland Security" umbrella. What could have been the "Department of Random Warrants" before is now under DHS. And yeah, the DA could have just grabbed a bench warrant.

This mefi thread is the #1 Google hit for "Rachel Guyon" now. Yay internet infamy!
posted by drstein at 2:53 PM on March 2, 2008


tl;dr
posted by mosch at 6:51 PM on March 2, 2008


So - she's a college student and a teacher's aid and an escort?

Time is mostly a theoretical construct for the writer of that article. Facts are presented in random order, and the tenses shift in a similarly chaotic fashion.

As far as I can figure out she was a teacher's aide when she wrote her MySpace page, but there's no indication of when that page was written or if it was kept up to date.
posted by tkolar at 9:39 PM on March 2, 2008


I got caught up on people fighting with sledgehammers, but this article does not involve Triple H., Gallagher, or Peter Gabriel, nor does it involve fighting by any or all of them.

This is flagrant false advertising, man.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:07 AM on March 3, 2008


Ah, another opportunity to not have sympathy for any of the parties involved.
posted by nanojath at 7:54 AM on March 3, 2008


From the link: Like Michael Pare and Willem Dafoe in the climatic fight scene of Walter Hill’s classic 1984 action flick Streets of Fire...

Uh, was it, like, about global warming and shit?
ATTENTION, WE HAVE NOW REACHED THE MEAT OF THE STORY

Instead of getting court approved warrants, the DA goes directly for the Homeland Security "We don't need no stinkin' legal oversight" warrants.

ATTENTION, WE HAVE NOW LEFT THE MEAT OF THE STORY
I agree. This is not only the only news in this "news" story, but it gives lie to all the apologists who claimed that the PATRIOT act powers would be used just to catch turrists. Unchecked power will be used to smite enemies and consolidate hold on power. Always.

And to what extent do you suppose those wiretapping capabilities of the Bush administration were used intimidate dissenters to the cause?
posted by Mental Wimp at 12:26 PM on March 3, 2008


Metafilter: A student hooker who is over-enthusiastic in the pursuit of trade and an Attorney General who thinks his penis is a national monument being threatened by terrorists.
posted by Maias at 12:28 PM on March 3, 2008


Anyone else look at the "comments" to the story?
posted by Shebear at 4:49 PM on March 3, 2008


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