$1,000,000 For Hillary Clinton To Pose Nude

March 2, 2008 2:06 AM

Retired dot com entrepreneur wants Hillary Clinton to pose in the nude. Robert Porter wants Senator Clinton to pose in the nude for a "series of tasteful, artistic nude photos." He wants it so much that he's willing to pay her $750,000 [now upped to $1,000,000].

He says it's to make a point about how sexually repressed America is. O-kay. But is a naked 60-year-old Senator really the way to go to make that point?

posted by Cranky Media Guy (38 comments total)

"Only a few of them will show your lady flower."
posted by roll truck roll at 2:15 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Grab that big ball and yank it back, to prevent it shooting over the edge"
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:17 AM on March 2, 2008

She does need the scratch....
posted by fixedgear at 2:20 AM on March 2, 2008

So where are Mr. Porter's nude pics?
posted by hjo3 at 2:36 AM on March 2, 2008

[...] which would show Senator Clinton as an older woman who is fully in control of her body and her sexuality.

I'm dumbfounded. His theory is that by reinforcing the sexualization of Hillary Clinton, we are actually addressing the core issue and misogyny disappears? There's quite a disparity between re-claiming ownership of one's sexuality and what this man is proposing.

By his logic, we should shackle Barack up and force him to work the cotton fields. It'll solve racism and reinforce ownership of his culture and ethnicity!
posted by spiderskull at 2:42 AM on March 2, 2008 [4 favorites]

Wake up sheeple. Yet again the MSM refuses to pay Ron Paul to take off his clothes.
posted by sien at 2:46 AM on March 2, 2008 [12 favorites]

You know, I usually find Internet cliches distasteful and unimaginative. However, this is one time when I believe it is perfectly warranted to say

DO NOT WANT
DO NOT WANT
DO NOT WANT
DO NOT WANT
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:50 AM on March 2, 2008

Yup, this pretty much confirms that it's past my bedtime.
posted by Stunt at 2:51 AM on March 2, 2008

Well, that's pretty idiotic. Plus $1 million dollars is the amount of money her campaign brings in one day
posted by delmoi at 2:52 AM on March 2, 2008

I like the fact that Cranky Media Guy waited five years to find the perfect follow up to his last (and only other) FPP and then decided this was IT.
posted by delmoi at 2:56 AM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]

I am all for government transparency. Except this.
posted by srboisvert at 3:30 AM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]

I don't see what's wrong with it. Though I'd be willing to bet that $1mil that she won't do it.
posted by Submiqent at 3:31 AM on March 2, 2008

Did this guy do *any* research before coming up with this idea? Because I'm going to guess that anyone who has $5 Million available to spare as a loan is hardly going to be enticed by $750,000. Or perhaps I'm confusing the Hillary Clinton who is running for President with the young, struggling, upstart actress of the same name.
posted by The Gooch at 4:06 AM on March 2, 2008

Plus $1 million dollars is the amount of money her campaign brings in one day

So Senator Clinton should pose for nude pix seven times a week?
posted by mistersquid at 4:12 AM on March 2, 2008

I think the guy's a well-to-do perv who's had a crush on HRC since '92 or so. He thinks a photo spread "will enhance her stature to people around the world, especially women." Wonder if we're both right?

If she had the nerve to pose for a spread in, say, Playboy, in an Arnie Freytag "famous woman finally takes 'em off" sort of feature, I could see where somebody would argue that that's enhancing her stature. But this?
posted by pax digita at 4:17 AM on March 2, 2008

Plus $1 million dollars is the amount of money her campaign brings in one day.

Agreed. To humiliate her properly, someone's gonna have to pony up at least $10M. Then she might bite.

(What?)
posted by rokusan at 5:29 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

Hello everyone, I'm a retired rich guy who wants to see if I can make a fairly powerful woman jump through hoops for cash.

What? Why are you looking at me like that? I'm doing it for society's sake.
posted by moonbiter at 5:44 AM on March 2, 2008 [4 favorites]

sounds like retired dot com entrepreneur wants publicity.
posted by msconduct at 6:04 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

If I had a million, I would gladly pay Hilary to keep her clothes on. For all of us.
posted by slimepuppy at 6:20 AM on March 2, 2008

Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but this kind of thing depresses me. A friend of mine says that the Democrats are doomed in the general election because the U.S. is not ready for either a black man or a woman to be president. I said I thought we were less ready for a woman, and this -- regardless of whether it's sincere or spoof -- seems like supporting evidence.
posted by tentacle at 7:05 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

on the other hand, no one would pay McCain 1 million dollars to take his clothes off
posted by matteo at 7:29 AM on March 2, 2008

This is offensive.

"Bob" claims to be a "Retired dot com entrepreneur". We've got a fair amount of "dot com" people here. Anyone know this guy?
posted by Nelson at 7:56 AM on March 2, 2008

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
posted by papakwanz at 7:59 AM on March 2, 2008

I need a barfbag.
posted by mike3k at 8:30 AM on March 2, 2008

Where's the "unsee this post" button at, anyway?
posted by nonliteral at 8:35 AM on March 2, 2008

Topless Hillary
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:00 AM on March 2, 2008

I think this guy's a bit of a nutbar. "Grab the ball?" I agree with the perv thing. I betcha the Secret Service comes a-knockin' on his door if she gets elected, too.

But hey, I'll do it for $5,000 and round up my older girlfriends too and we can make a tasteful older-woman calendar and donate the proceeds to charity. Oh wait, that was a movie, wasn't it? And I'm not Helen Mirren.

Nevermind.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 9:10 AM on March 2, 2008

That Topless Hillary is actually rather good, and makes an effective statement.
posted by Rumple at 9:16 AM on March 2, 2008

Barack has seen it.
posted by Frank Grimes at 9:25 AM on March 2, 2008

Turns out ol' "Bob" isn't so mysterious afterall. He's got a MySpace page with a press release. A bit of sleuthing and you find his name is Robert Porter, he's about 56 years old, and he lives in Pacific City, Oregon, just 45 minutes west of McMinnville and our #1.

For a "retired dotcom entrepreneur" Bob doesn't have much of an online presence I could find. He paid for a press release last year for the charmingly named business WhoreVertising. He was also a fan of the USA Today column "Hip Clicks", submitting a link to the bizarre site Trees and their Doppelgangers. I wasn't able to find any evidence of any dot com millions. He doesn't exactly fit the profile.

Given the video's name check of huckster extraordinaire Joe Vitale, I'm guessing Bob is trying to work some PT Barnum magic to promote himself or some dumbass business idea. In the video he looks and sounds like the bastard love child of Michael Moore and Dave Winer. So maybe he's just a sad, offensive toad.
posted by Nelson at 9:26 AM on March 2, 2008 [3 favorites]

Now that's interesting. The guy who posted this MeFi post, Cranky Media Guy, has posted only one other thing to MeFi: Trees and Their Doppelgangers. Care to explain the coincidence?
posted by Nelson at 9:30 AM on March 2, 2008 [7 favorites]

You beat me to the punch, Nelson. I converted the 818-3MY-DREAM number into numerals, googled it, and found the WhoreVertising press release.

As dumb of a joke as it would be, I really hope that it is one. Because if it's not a joke, it's depressing. The guy is so confused and sad.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:34 AM on March 2, 2008

OH MAN. Grab that ball!
posted by roll truck roll at 9:35 AM on March 2, 2008

There are so many funny things about this.
posted by hellslinger at 9:45 AM on March 2, 2008

Oh ok, this is just a garden variety self-link. Albeit an amusing one. Hey, I'm a fan of media manipulation, too.

Cranky Media Guy is Bob Pagani. He's a self described media provocateur, including having faked winning the lottery. And now apparently he's wasting my time with his provocately offensive thing about Clinton. If you check out his Flickr self portrait you'll see he looks an awful lot like the guy in the video.

Pretty well played, Bob.
posted by Nelson at 9:45 AM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]

Same voice?
posted by roll truck roll at 9:46 AM on March 2, 2008

Cranky Media Guy talks about his "history of media hoaxes and stunts" and personal friendship with Andy Kaufman on MeFi...
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 9:53 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

Reading through his comments makes me a little bit sad to lose him.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:59 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]