Minimalist Sky Diving
March 3, 2008 5:21 PM   Subscribe

Please refrain from all activity while we re-calibrate the Cojones Scale. (single link youtube post)
posted by hifimofo (45 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
good only because of this comment:
this is get high with no dope no fucking! kinky dude do not play to much that way human have one live only.
posted by generalist at 5:27 PM on March 3, 2008


Recalibrating cojones scale...please wait

OMG
OMG
OMG
OMG
WOO


Cojones scale recalibration complete. You may now put your shirt back on.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:31 PM on March 3, 2008 [5 favorites]


My favorite part was when the camera man moved out of the plane so the red bull can didn't get much coverage. AWESOME!
posted by 517 at 5:35 PM on March 3, 2008


Okay, Jackass. Top that shit!
posted by Rubbstone at 5:36 PM on March 3, 2008


I take it he doesn't have kids. Hopefully his attitude will change when he does.
posted by CynicalKnight at 5:37 PM on March 3, 2008


This would have been enhanced if one of his co-parachutists did the offer-handshake-thumb-nose joke before finally holding on.
posted by Abiezer at 5:37 PM on March 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


I have done this countless times in my dreams, but I never have two guys there to catch me.
posted by Senator at 5:38 PM on March 3, 2008


Cajones Scale +1.
posted by 517 at 5:44 PM on March 3, 2008 [34 favorites]


That guy could have totally gone for a rear naked choke.
posted by redteam at 5:52 PM on March 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


I take it he doesn't have kids. Hopefully his attitude will change when he does.

He and I were born the same week. He makes me feel like a crotchety old fart. :/
posted by tarheelcoxn at 5:53 PM on March 3, 2008


I do not endorse frequently engaging in this sort of activity.

However, everybody should jump out of a perfectly good airplane just once in their lives.

Why? Not for the thrills. But just so you know after you hit sweet, sweet, Terra Firma, how colossally stupid tempting terminal velocity is. Then you can adjust your Stupid Scale and you never, never, never, never, have to repeat such madness again. No matter how many times your crazy fucking death worshiping friends want you to.

[ kisses ground ]
posted by tkchrist at 5:58 PM on March 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


Cojones Scale
posted by ColdChef at 6:00 PM on March 3, 2008 [9 favorites]


If there isn't already a Paradox of the Deadly Mating Ritual, I'm inventing it now.

Young males show off to attract mates. The showiest gets the babes. That sets up a Red Queen Effect such that, in the logical conclusion, every male dies before mating.
posted by DU at 6:07 PM on March 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Cojones Scale -0.5
(250 foot ski drop)
posted by anthill at 6:12 PM on March 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


What a dick.
posted by loiseau at 6:18 PM on March 3, 2008


I don't know what the terminal velocity of a Red Bull can is, but I know I don't want it to hit my head falling from the sky.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:19 PM on March 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


517: yeah, that totally tops this skydiving idiot. It's one thing to risk your life for money, and another to risk it for a serious thing like that.

Of course, we worship money as the ultimate cause here in the US, so I suppose the red bull skydiver man was risking his life for his cause?

I guess on reflection the skydiver made me say "holy crap, that's insane"; while the man in front of the tanks makes me tear up at his bravery. Damn emotions.

Let's go slam some red bull and do something stupid!
posted by EricGjerde at 6:28 PM on March 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


The 250 ft ski drop is insane. Just because you've got skis on you can jump off of whatever you want? Yeesh. I broke my hip on a blue slope in January. Makes me feel pretty uneasy.

Also, the no-parachute guy freaked me out. I was nervous for him the whole time.

Maybe I should watch fewer videos of people doing crazy things.
posted by PhatLobley at 6:49 PM on March 3, 2008


I guess this impresses people who have never gone skydiving. I think the ones with the biggest cojones are the two guys with the parachutes, because if they fuck up, their buddy is dead. If he fucks up, he's only killing himself.
posted by desjardins at 6:52 PM on March 3, 2008 [7 favorites]


Um, so how the fuck did he land? He might have balls, but the camera crew sucked.
posted by Camofrog at 6:59 PM on March 3, 2008


Haha. Imagine his surprise when nobody jumps out of the plane with him.
posted by unSane at 7:12 PM on March 3, 2008 [4 favorites]


(because he was such a fuckin' INSUFFERABLE RED-BULL-DRINKIN' EXTREME SPORTS PRICK)
posted by unSane at 7:13 PM on March 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


Desjardins: I find the whole production impressive. While the guys who caught him had a tougher job (emotionally and probably physically as well), the nearly naked guy jumping out of a plane seemingly on an a random impulse was needed for effect. It's a bit like an impressive stunt in an otherwise mediocre movie. The stunt performers may be doing all the work, but for full effect, you need someone to build you up to that point, investing you in the character, or at least getting you to suspend your disbelief long enough so that you don't think about the fact that there's probably a landing pad at the bottom of that drop until after the scene is over. The stunt performers deserve a lot more credit than they deserve, but let's give everyone their due (especially the diving camera operators!)

Of course, I will never accuse Travis Pastrana of not having a very high cojones score.

Regarding the Red Bull: I get the impression that this is a raw cut from what will eventually be a television commercial. I've seen the product placement nods that Travis Pastrana and other "extreme" sport athletes give to Red Bull, and they usually consist of grabbing a drink when the camera's on them, taking a sip, pointing at the can, and giving a wink to the camera that seems to say "hey, these guys paid me a lot of money to do this!" This seems a bit more planned than that.

On preview: camofrog, I think that if I'm right about this being advertisement raw footage, there may be another camera on the ground, or more likely, the bit with the other skydivers will be cut and some other ending filmed.
posted by ErWenn at 7:14 PM on March 3, 2008


He has had his share of spills.
posted by B(oYo)BIES at 7:16 PM on March 3, 2008


Next time he should drive a car. slide 4
posted by hortense at 7:20 PM on March 3, 2008


I don't want to send traffic to the site, here is a direct link to the video of another crazy stunt with airplanes: link
posted by Dr. Curare at 7:20 PM on March 3, 2008


I don't know about his cojones, but he gets a 10 on the Loco Scale.
posted by amyms at 7:22 PM on March 3, 2008




Scaled Cojones.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:58 PM on March 3, 2008


Bah! That's not extreme.

Extreme is doing the same thing after being greased head to toe in Astroglide.
posted by bwg at 8:07 PM on March 3, 2008


Use of the car was good hortense, but check out slide 35.

I would assume some handlers were still able to dive down and grab hold of him if he lost his grip.
posted by Capt. Bligh at 8:22 PM on March 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Double back flip last summer in competition:

"I'm sorry, Mama, I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again." To his crying mom after he performed the first double back flip in competition...

The airplane thing seemed a bit tame in comparison, frankly.
posted by Chuffy at 8:35 PM on March 3, 2008


I don't know if this takes cajones or just an unreasonable disregard for one's safety, but this video makes my palms sweaty. (SFW)
posted by mosk at 10:16 PM on March 3, 2008


That last video is terrifying. That guy must be very confident in his upper-body strength.
posted by Locative at 11:35 PM on March 3, 2008


Meh, standard MI-6 training.
posted by dhartung at 11:48 PM on March 3, 2008


Cojones, off the scale.
posted by Anything at 1:27 AM on March 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


DU - have a look at this
posted by tawny at 3:41 AM on March 4, 2008


When I was a kid I remember on this stunt show ('Just Amazing') where they had this French guy jump out of a plane without a parachute, then skydive down to this drogue chute with a backpack tied underneath they had thrown out of before him. He took the back back of the drogue, put it on, then released the parachute it contained... I was fairly impressed by that at the time.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:49 AM on March 4, 2008


mosk, those pull-ups win this thread for me. I couldn't watch it. That's the first time I've ever been unable to watch an internet video to the end. Beheadings, bestiality, two girls one cup, no problem. Who'da thought the limit would be pull-ups?
posted by unSane at 4:01 AM on March 4, 2008


I don't want to be acid unSane.

But your comment ("...the first time I've ever been unable to watch an internet video to the end. Beheadings, bestiality, two girls one cup, no problem. Who'da thought the limit would be pull-ups?") simply suggests you have the imagination of a peanut.

A peanut who can't do pull-ups, maybe?
posted by Jody Tresidder at 5:48 AM on March 4, 2008


pullups under a crane? Wimp. My girlfriend did better than that. She used to perform trapeze from a crane, with no net or wire. At one point she would fall down the body of her partner - who had to catch her WITH HER FEET. No safety net at all, only trust. At this point tears of love and admiration and fear and jealousy of their connection would well up in my eyes and everything from then on was a little blurry.
posted by silence at 9:25 AM on March 4, 2008


Please refrain from all activity while we re-calibrate the Conejos Scale.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:07 PM on March 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Honestly, I would have preferred if every single one of these crazy people in this thread had failed.
posted by tehloki at 1:21 PM on March 4, 2008


Can you explain your comment, Jody? I don't understand it at all.
posted by unSane at 1:40 PM on March 4, 2008


UnSane,
Sorry for being so late back to you.

I'm honestly not really getting what you're not understanding. Perhaps we should leave it at that!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 5:11 AM on March 5, 2008


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