Comments on: We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.

We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.

Blazecock Pileon — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:32:14 -0800

Donut burgers are for commies. Time to kick it up a notch.

By: pineapple

pineapple — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:38:21 -0800

So the Good Morning Burger is secretly also the Doughnut Burger, also known as the Lady's Brunch Burger? I am confused. Also, strangely, craving a piece of raw broccoli.

By: ten pounds of inedita

ten pounds of inedita — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:43:21 -0800

Oh, god, yes.

By: brain_drain

brain_drain — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:44:42 -0800

I'll take mine with turducken.

By: 40 Watt

40 Watt — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:50:59 -0800

I'm having chest pains just looking at that.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:52:52 -0800

I think you should have also included the 'bacon' tag. There can never be enough posts somehow involving bacon.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:57:58 -0800

If they made bacon aftershave I'd wear it every single day until I died.

By: mosk

mosk — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:03:59 -0800

If they made bacon aftershave I'd wear it every single day until I died. Or twice, whichever came first.

By: evening

evening — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:06:12 -0800

Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick.

By: Mister Cheese

Mister Cheese — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:11:00 -0800

Make the beef some kind of breakfast sausage and you'll have my heart. But it might not work for long.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:12:18 -0800

Ireland way ahead of you with the Jumbo Breakfast Roll.

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:14:10 -0800

Where the hell am I going to get a big enough hamburger patty?

By: piratebowling

piratebowling — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:16:06 -0800

My roommate and I love Paula Deen. Why? She just doesn't give a damn. I'm waiting for the day that she brings out her ultimate recipe and introduces it just by saying, "I'm Paula Deen, and I don't give a damn." My guess is that it will be come kind of deep-fried, bacon encrusted bacon desert. With a mayo-based icing.

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:19:01 -0800

Can I use jelly donuts instead? How about hash browns? Can I put hash browns in there? I think I'm going to put some in there. Please? And maybe a half dozen Kraft singles?

By: evilangela

evilangela — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:19:36 -0800

Mister Cheese: Just what I was thinking. Instead of ground beef, make it a nice large patty of Bob Evans spicy sausage. (I so miss Bob Evans since moving to Seattle...)

By: piratebowling

piratebowling — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:21:06 -0800

I meant to write "bacon encrusted chocolate dessert" but "bacon encrusted bacon desert" sounds both terrifying and delicious, so maybe it is more Deen-like in spirit.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:24:43 -0800

piratebowling: We should start a betting pool. I call a butter and bacon drippings smoothie, with a scoop of brownie icecream floating in it and a huge dollop of whipped cream.

By: piratebowling

piratebowling — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:26:44 -0800

Oh, and for extra lulz, read the review section for the recipe. It's like a civil war in there.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:27:07 -0800

Stop! Please! I'm bloating up just reading this. (er,--- what are you wearing?)

By: aubilenon

aubilenon — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:35:38 -0800

I'm moving to Donutburg right now.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:39:06 -0800

"...it will be come kind of deep-fried, bacon encrusted bacon desert..." Your drooling got in the way of your typing, didn't it?

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:39:48 -0800

"I'm moving to Donutburg right now." Population 0

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:41:36 -0800

Bend over Abigail May, here comes the gravy pipe!

By: unSane

unSane — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:42:05 -0800

Her cooking's like the food version of the American economy. (Exactly how is left as an exercise for the reader). There's a brilliant comment somewhere suggesting that she co-host a show with Anthony Bourdain. I'd watch that. Meat cleavers would play an important part in the last 10 minutes I think.

By: gauchodaspampas

gauchodaspampas — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:43:48 -0800

Holy shit. Now I want a burger. But the closest fast food joint is two whole blocks away...

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:50:43 -0800

I like dill pickles and I like Frosted Flakes. But I've never felt the urge to combine the two. This burger is an abomination and Paula Deen should be flogged in public for suggesting such a thing. "Ouch, y'all!"

By: about_time

about_time — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:56:58 -0800

Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months. 6 months? I've had versions of this around the country (including the Emmy-Bull burger at Dan's Place II in albany, ny) but never with a donut.

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:59:35 -0800

Actually, that needs to be a lamb burger. From Brouwers. With a side of chipotle mayo dipping sauce.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:23:42 -0800

I'm pretty confident Paula Dean doesn't eat too much of the food she cooks, or at least not the type of food she's known for.

By: ten pounds of inedita

ten pounds of inedita — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:24:53 -0800

6 months? That's for the salt-pepper-garlic powder mix, not the rest of it. Jaysus, that'd be an AskMe question.

By: zerobyproxy

zerobyproxy — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:30:24 -0800

Taco Town!!!!

By: casarkos

casarkos — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:51:11 -0800

I knew this was going to be a Paula Deen monstrosity before even clicking the link. This scares me.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:07:46 -0800

some kind of breakfast sausage

By: naoko

naoko — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:26:02 -0800

Oh my God, YUM. I love you, Paula Deen.

By: dersins

dersins — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:28:05 -0800

My guess is that it will be come kind of deep-fried, bacon encrusted bacon desert. With a mayo-based icing. No, but I'm sure it comes with these on the side.

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:33:41 -0800

From piratebowling's suggestion: Don't tell me that you have never on occasion had a couple of donuts for breakfast and then later in the day enjoyed burger for lunch? Ummmmm... no, sorry love. Donuts for breakfast? WTF? I'm totally joining the LOLFATTIES team now.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:52:01 -0800

This literally made me nauseous. Fucking Elvis wouldn't even eat that unholy monstrosity. It's sitting in a pile of its own sickly congealing goo, for Christ's sake. What is with this extreme food trend? Aren't we enough of a nation of jiggling fat fucks already?

By: Bugg

Bugg — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:06:50 -0800

...bacon encrusted bacon desert. With a mayo-based icing. --piratebowling Nah. Nothing but straight gravy for me.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:17:00 -0800

.... and an after-dinner mint.

By: Sam.Burdick

Sam.Burdick — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:50:47 -0800

I'm one for the Alton Brown theory of the hamburger. 10 oz patty, grilled medium rare w/ a little bit of crispy. Fresh lettuce, fresh tomato (Both in season), a medium-thin smear of mayo and a grind of pepper on a toasted bun. I think this Paula Deen is doing some very bad things to food.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:20:31 -0800

stickycarpet: that link really needs a warning of some kind.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:03:20 -0800

StickyCarpet - no fair. It could be very high quality dead animal going into the blender. The blender just fscks it right up good. I'm sure you're a fine person, but after going through a blender, I wonder what you'd look like.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:22:02 -0800

Did you notice the Lane Bryant ad on the first site? Great way to remind me... DO NOT WANT!!! (well, actually Do want...but DO NOT!)

By: evilcolonel

evilcolonel — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:50:31 -0800

Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter!

By: sparkletone

sparkletone — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 00:11:26 -0800

Real alternate name for this delicious treat: The Assinator.

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:05:13 -0800

There aren't enough bong hits in the world to make me want to eat that thing.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:51:43 -0800

Needs deep fryiing

By: mary8nne

mary8nne — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 06:42:23 -0800

as an aside. Isn't the correct colloquialism to "cock it up a notch" rather than to "kick it up a notch". refering to cocking a tensioned device on 'notches'

By: Pantengliopoli

Pantengliopoli — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 08:14:19 -0800

(Exactly how is left as an exercise for the reader) That word really doesn't belong anywhere NEAR this thread.

By: naoko

naoko — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:20:55 -0800

Hey, congrats to all of you on being so healthy and skinny and whatever, but come on, eating one of these things (or even eating one every couple months) is not going to magically turn you into a blimp. I don't think that even butter-obsessed Paula is advocating that you eat one of these things every day. Relax.

By: matteo

matteo — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:29:27 -0800

Dear AskMe, I have a very bad case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. But I really think them donut bacon cheeseburgers dunked in whale blubber batter and deep fried to a crisp in pork fat look really, really yummy. Should I throw caution to the wind and eat them anyway? Posted by anonymous

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:32:07 -0800

Was this just an attempt to lure jonmc back?

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:30:09 -0800

Was this just an attempt to lure jonmc back? My next post will be about Budweiser and classic rock. Make whatever assumptions you will.

By: matteo

matteo — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:44:19 -0800

post a fpp saying that Joey Ramone was an undercover CIA agent, jon will be back

By: Uther Bentrazor

Uther Bentrazor — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:41:40 -0800

Dear rest of the world: Hello, we're America, we submit to you this donut burger. Yes, this is meant for one person. For one meal. Yes, all at once. We find this delicious, and as you may have noticed, many of us are already figuring out ways to make it less healthy. These are the things we craft for our own bodies, this is what we do to ourselves, and we enjoy it. If our loved ones made this for us, we would see it as a grand gesture of affection. On holidays we shower each other with foods and candies that your culture would find horrifying. We set up franchises within walking distance of one another to dispense this sort of product to ourselves, products some of you would consider weapons, products if fed to your children you would consider human rights violations. We pay for the privilige. These things are our reward, our measure of enjoyment. We're sorry about all the bombs and guns and stuff. This is the only way we know how to show love. Love, America.

By: pineapple

pineapple — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:40:32 -0800

DecemberBoy said: "This literally made me nauseous. Fucking Elvis wouldn't even eat that unholy monstrosity." Surely you don't mean Elvis Presley. Whose favorite sandwich was the equally unholy Fool's Gold Loaf? Not only would Elvis have eaten the Donut Burger, he's probably in the midst of zombie reanimation right now in order to come out of the cold Graceland ground, steal a car, and drive the ~110 miles to Savannah to show up on Paula Deen's door and demand a hunka-hunka Donut Burger. not_on_display said: ".... and an after-dinner mint." Which, naturally, is wafer-thin?

By: assoctw

assoctw — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:20:53 -0800

Reference for the title of the post. Scroll down to the recipes or search for "creamy".

By: Sam.Burdick

Sam.Burdick — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:22:36 -0800

arguments about health values aside. the reason I mention AB's burger is that with all that fat (and sugar) piled on that poor excuse for a sandwich you're violating one of the basic tenants of burger consumption... namely: You should be eating a burger for the enjoyment of the taste of beef, and the condiments you choose should reflect that fact AND enhance the flavor of the beef patty. What most americans call a burger, nowadays, does not fall under this measure (and neither does the fpp monstrosity) because the taste buds are overwhelmed by the presence of fats in the sandwich. Remember folks, corn fed beef has more fat in it. And while fats aren't completely bad for you when taken in reasonable portions (and not every meal). What fats do is take all the enjoyment out of mildly flavored foods and the experience of nuanced flavors. So, put down that glazed doughnut. Don't braise your burger in cream. Leave off all but a slight hint of bacon and save the eggs for breakfast. Enjoy your burger as the cow intended. Clean, lightly peppered and on a toasted bun. AND preferably cooked over a charcoal fire.

By: misanthropicsarah

misanthropicsarah — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:45:10 -0800

ugh. that doesn't even sound appetizing.