iPhones at ACU

March 5, 2008 10:31 AM

Abilene Christian University in Abilene, Texas becomes the first university in the US to give out iPhones to incoming freshmen. Concept videos describing how they will be used here (social), here (academic) and here (overview).
posted by Pater Aletheias (26 comments total)

You know, I've been to ACU's campus (friend of mine went there), and saw the list of rules and curfews for students, and not to get all tinfoily or LOLXIANS on you, but I just have this gut feeling that those devices are specially lo-jacked and monitored 24/7.

Even with those rules, though, I have to say that that was one respectably big drinkin' and fuckin' campus.
posted by middleclasstool at 10:35 AM on March 5, 2008

I wonder what's going to happen to students already enrolled--many classes have both freshmen and upperclassmen, so will the freshmen reap the benefits of homework alerts and such, while upperclassmen are left to buy their own iPhones?
posted by DMan at 10:35 AM on March 5, 2008

I would be totally stoked if we became the first university in the US to take cell phones away from incoming freshman, but I'm a bit of a grouch that way.

As far as ACU, they'll find it a highly successful program as far as getting some attention for 15 minutes.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:35 AM on March 5, 2008 [1 favorite]

And across the nation, kids got on lawns.
posted by DU at 10:37 AM on March 5, 2008 [1 favorite]

Lawnmines. It's the only way forward.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:49 AM on March 5, 2008 [3 favorites]

Lawnmines. It's the only way forward.

Perhaps I'm just unduly fond of unnecessarily-complex systems, but I disagree.

The correct solution is to bury high-torque motors in the soil, connected to massive circular-saw blades on spring-loaded extending arms. When the miscreant treads upon the precious lawn, he/she will be immediately bi- or tri-sected by huge spinning blades that pop up out of the ground.

The lifeblood will fuel plant growth, the body sections can be hauled off for use in your furnace, and the entire procedure will provide an object lesson to all those nearby.

Lawnmines, on the other hand, would scar the precious lawn. Although they do admittedly result in more flying-limb hilarities, I feel the lawn-scarring outweighs that.

Also, they're not sufficiently complex.
posted by aramaic at 10:59 AM on March 5, 2008

I've just realized I was unnecessarily dismissive toward mine technologies. I should clarify that there are some antipersonnel mines that may work nicely in the realm of lawn protection.

Springloaded "bouncy betty" type weapons, for example, could perhaps be used in conjunction with the saw blades. A suitably high bounce, prior to detonation, would likely result in no damage to the precious lawn and would have the advantage of tending to immobilize miscreants so that they could be more efficiently sectioned by the saws.

All in all, I think this is a subject that deserves further research.
posted by aramaic at 11:04 AM on March 5, 2008

The lifeblood will fuel plant growth...

Now there's a thought. Do plants grow better on battlefields? Could I get better tomatoes by changing the proportions of blood, sweat and tears?

Time for some science!
posted by DU at 11:07 AM on March 5, 2008

Makes sense. It is the Jesus phone, after all.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:07 AM on March 5, 2008 [1 favorite]

The correct solution is to bury high-torque motors in the soil, connected to massive circular-saw blades on spring-loaded extending arms. When the miscreant treads upon the precious lawn, he/she will be immediately bi- or tri-sected by huge spinning blades that pop up out of the ground.

Is your lawn often terrorized by Mario, Luigi, and Sonic the Hedgehog?
posted by middleclasstool at 11:14 AM on March 5, 2008 [2 favorites]

I wonder what's going to happen to students already enrolled--many classes have both freshmen and upperclassmen, so will the freshmen reap the benefits of homework alerts and such, while upperclassmen are left to buy their own iPhones?

That's certainly what happened when my college instituted the "Laptop Initiative." All the incoming freshmen got brand new laptops, and to hell with us upperclassmen.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:14 AM on March 5, 2008

(Actually, it's time for some googling! and then some realizing! that fertilizer already contains blood, as well as bone.)
posted by DU at 11:17 AM on March 5, 2008

Jesus, I remember the beginning of my senior year of college, really not that long ago, when my job was to go room-to-room, hooking freshmen up to the network. I wondered why the hell all these kids had cell phones; I really couldn't imagine why anyone needed one.

I did have a pretty sweet, and also totally unnecessary, beeper, though.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:29 AM on March 5, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is inane.
posted by OmieWise at 11:48 AM on March 5, 2008

I'll be more interested when these eyePhones are used as proof that evolution is nothing but a silly theory.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:56 AM on March 5, 2008

Ah, it's a small school.

I was getting all freaked out by the idea of the sound that would be created by hundreds of greasy freshmen students in an amphitheater-style intro-to-something class all stroking their touchscreens in unison.
posted by CKmtl at 12:01 PM on March 5, 2008

Faint of Butt typed "That's certainly what happened when my college instituted the 'Laptop Initiative.' All the incoming freshmen got brand new laptops, and to hell with us upperclassmen."

Yeah, that's how my college was when it went Palm Happy.

I would imagine that that's pretty standard for these deals. The school gets the discount for a certain number of units per year, in return for placement in the curriculum, etc. It would cost a lot more money to equip four times as many students at once, and they wouldn't get the full four years of product placement.
posted by roll truck roll at 12:19 PM on March 5, 2008

How you're paying for it.
posted by Eideteker at 12:40 PM on March 5, 2008

So I guess the Church of Christ is officially Mac now. The "competition" Oklahoma Christian University made another Mac-related announcement last week.
posted by wallaby at 12:57 PM on March 5, 2008

So I guess the Church of Christ is officially Mac now.

Does that mean then, that Macs are intelligently designed?
posted by anansi at 2:28 PM on March 5, 2008

It's an expensive way to go, but it would be really nice to have every class have the opportunity to have "clicker"-style immediate yes/no survey technology, which at least in the concept videos they seemed to be suggesting. To be able to do it without having to decide to do so at the beginning of the semester (and have all students buy the clickers, and have to buy the clicker setup) would be very nice.

I would've liked some more details on the "iTunesU" that they referenced in the videos. And the immediate access to schedules and maps and course listings and suchlike sounded nice---if it actually works.
posted by leahwrenn at 2:28 PM on March 5, 2008

leahwrenn typed "I would've liked some more details on the 'iTunesU' that they referenced in the videos."

Okay, so I have to admit that I haven't watched the video yet, but iTunes U has been around for quite awhile. Both Stanford and Berkeley have very good selections of lectures, concerts, etc., available for download on iTunes.
posted by roll truck roll at 2:56 PM on March 5, 2008

Oh, I see---they made it sound like something special for their courses. (at least, as much as I was paying attention to the video, which wasn't a whole lot...they're kind of annoying videos.)
posted by leahwrenn at 3:24 PM on March 5, 2008

The correct solution is to bury high-torque motors in the soil, connected to massive circular-saw blades on spring-loaded extending arms.

Completely off topic, but I had an idea a while back that, while insanely dangerous, would also be the coolest thing ever when it came to lawn maintenance. Basically, I wanted to plant a number of small, yet powerful electric motors in my lawn. To these I wanted to mount some 12 foot lengths of 5 - 8mm coated stainless steel wire.

Basically, the idea came to me when I was fixing a Weed-Wacker. Make it bigger, faster, upside down and hidden in the grass.

My vision was, after several weeks of neglecting my lawn, it was overgrown and an eyesore to the entire neighborhood. I walked to the shed, flicked the switch and set off the warning alarms. At the corners of the yard, flashing strobes start, along with a yelping klaxon to warn everyone in the vicinity that something was about to happen.

Twenty seconds later, there is a loud ripping noise as all the motors come on at once; within an instant, every blade of grass in the yard has been cut and all that's left is a haze of green particulate mass floating slowly to the ground.

To the outside observer, my yard went from overgrown to immaculately groomed in less than a minute.

It would also completely destroy any children's toys... and children that might stumble into the perimeter.

When I say "get off my lawn" I really, really mean it.
posted by quin at 3:31 PM on March 5, 2008 [2 favorites]

Now there's a thought. Do plants grow better on battlefields?

XX.

I sometimes think that never blows so red
The Rose as where some buried Caesar bled;
That every Hyacinth the Garden wears
Dropt in its Lap from some once lovely Head.

(Actually, it's time for some googling! and then some realizing! that fertilizer already contains blood, as well as bone.)

Soylent Miracle-Gro is made from people!
posted by XMLicious at 10:31 PM on March 5, 2008

Wow. So the good thing about going to ACU is you get a free iPhone. The bad thing is you have to go to ACU.
posted by zardoz at 5:48 AM on March 6, 2008