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But what about the micronauts?
March 8, 2008 12:17 AM   Subscribe

Ancient Astronauts. Pretty much says it all.
posted by Eekacat (59 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
I luuurve this stuff, whether it has any anchor in reality or not. My copy of Chariots of the Gods is well-worn.
posted by amyms at 12:23 AM on March 8, 2008


I thought that those Helicopter hieroglyphs had long since been exposed as a hoax?

Also, Erich von Däniken should stick to mis-managing theme parks.
posted by slater at 12:36 AM on March 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Worthless without William Shatner narration.
posted by Artw at 12:38 AM on March 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


As a psychic medium, I talked with a Reptilian alien who called himself Dilmun.
posted by Poolio at 12:42 AM on March 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


No citations, no reputable scientific sources, nothing but a psychic medium and his reptilian alien buddy.

... well, I'm convinced!
posted by barnacles at 12:59 AM on March 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


So was it the spacemen that gave Moses the magic mushrooms?

And since this seemed to happen over and over again for countless different cultures, should the Feds pursue RICO indictments against these celestial drug peddlers?

Fucking hippies.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 1:05 AM on March 8, 2008


This is why I love Iain M. Banks's Culture novels so much. The Culture itself is very appealing if only for the names and personalities of its ships (note that some of those minds are mefites, which blends perfectly with some of them going eccentric at their self-determined EOL) but for me the link of your post resonates far more with the pan-galactic universe in which the Culture exists. Numerous civilizations at different levels of development and each level has its own way of perceiving things and acting upon those perceptions. For all we know these ancient astronauts were indeed Special Circumstances operatives.
posted by =^^= at 1:16 AM on March 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


on preview, maybe I should have used a sockpuppet account to repsond to this OP
posted by =^^= at 1:25 AM on March 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


The term 'Ancient Astronauts' generally refers to extraterrestrials who came to Earth and were in some way responsible for seeding the human race.

Wouldn't that make them Ancient Pirates?
posted by katillathehun at 1:43 AM on March 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


When they build me a pyramid, I will believe...until then...nope!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:44 AM on March 8, 2008


Reminds me of Finderprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock.
posted by chillmost at 3:06 AM on March 8, 2008


I'm a Banks (but not a Von Daniken) fan as well. One thing I wish he would address (because I'm sure he's got an idea of an explanation) is why the 'human' form seems to have appeared in so many places. I think he may have hinted at it once or twice, but I don't think he's spelled it out. A bit of a tangent.

Anyway, =^^=, have you read his newest, Matter? Because it deals very directly with "Numerous civilizations at different levels of development and each level has its own way of perceiving things and acting upon those perceptions", even moreso than Inversions.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 4:29 AM on March 8, 2008


This reminds me of another sci-fi thing I read in some book which climaxed with someone getting nailed to a tree, because they both have a complete disregard for the pseudo-science of so-called "evolution".
I for one welcome our new... nah, I bore myself.
posted by hypersloth at 4:45 AM on March 8, 2008


What amyms said. We're talking epic levels of joyous loony here:

As we drove higher into the mountains, I suddenly shouted to Anna, ''Stop the car!" The car came to a stretching halt as I opened my door in wild anticipation! I went running from the car as there before me stood one of the most important confirmations of my life's work.

As I ran to the woods there before me stood Sarah's Tree of Life.

We counted 36 white flowers, then counted them several more times to verify our findings...

A day of magic for 3 friends, allowing me to go back and finish my book with a knowing that everything I have been told by Z since childhood, will come to pass.

My guidance has been given, Egyptian symbology, a bloodline, my bloodline that has moved from ancient Egypt and the creation of time to the Catskill mountains, and the foundation of a new nation based on an ancient blueprint which contains the answers based on sacred geometry, and 12 around 1 X 3=36, a time frame around July 4th, traveling a man named Alexander, the tree, the stream, 36 flowers of life on the tree of life, the cross, the Eye of God, All Seeing Eye, references to Egypt, and electromagnetic energy rods.


I don't know why, but people like this make me happy.
posted by mediareport at 5:35 AM on March 8, 2008 [6 favorites]


Worthless without Leonard Nimoy narration.
posted by steef at 6:21 AM on March 8, 2008


Those dummies missed one of the Best ones of all.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:21 AM on March 8, 2008


I don't get it, what does this have to do with China?
posted by dbiedny at 6:28 AM on March 8, 2008


Hur hur hur... The car came to a stretching halt... hur hur hur... *snork*

Jesus H. Christ what a bunch of goobers. I mean, really. I am a firm believer in extraterrestrials... look around at the vastness out there. That's a fuck-all of a lot of stars, and from what we now know, there are also a lot of planets. Odds are excellent that we are not the only going concern in the universe, if not the galaxy. But anyone with a basic understanding of economics and logistics knows that spaceflight is difficult and expensive. I find it impossible to believe that ancient astronauts visited here just to dick around with us like a bunch of cosmic reality-show hosts. The entire process would not be at all cost-effective. It simply doesn't make any sense. If it is true, then I don't want to have anything to do with such an allegedly "superior" civilization. They need to get a life. The back of my hand to them.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 6:29 AM on March 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, that's a lot of gasoline, and for what, a front-row seat on SNL? That's just stupid.
posted by dbiedny at 6:32 AM on March 8, 2008


Devils Rancher, that could just as easily be a prehistoric Sybian or some other such "device."
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 6:33 AM on March 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


And there are obviously no extraterrestrials, God made humans in his own image and that's IT.

If you believe in this crap, you're silly. There are only humans in the universe, the rest of the animals just want to be us. Because we RULE!
posted by dbiedny at 6:34 AM on March 8, 2008


Luke, I AM YOUR FATHER!
posted by dbiedny at 6:35 AM on March 8, 2008


We're talking epic levels of joyous loony here

how true, and how fun
posted by caddis at 6:40 AM on March 8, 2008


I gave it a thumbs-up Stumble Upon.
posted by wallstreet1929 at 7:00 AM on March 8, 2008


Egyptian hieroglyphs depict the same images carved in stone.

This statement is a good example of what professional skeptic Ben Radford calls "The Bangles Fallacy", which is to assume that ancient images are always literal representations of reality. I enjoyed Radford's term so much that some time back I created a webpage about it.
posted by Tube at 7:02 AM on March 8, 2008


One thing I wish he would address (because I'm sure he's got an idea of an explanation) is why the 'human' form seems to have appeared in so many places.

Humans are the universe's way of getting rid of all those interstellar clouds of alcohol. Srsly, it's in one of the historical documents.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:11 AM on March 8, 2008


And there are obviously no extraterrestrials, God made humans in his own image and that's IT.

That reminds me of the time I went to a friend's barber. As I sat there, getting an all right hair cut, the barber started telling me about his opinion that there was evidence of aliens in the Bible with flying saucers and laser beams. I didn't go back.

Of course, I'm not sure where the Bible says that God couldn't have created creatures other than those on Earth. Why limit creation to one planet, when he creates an entire universe?
posted by Atreides at 7:36 AM on March 8, 2008



These Premises Are Alarmed: "I'm a Banks (but not a Von Daniken) fan as well. One thing I wish he would address (because I'm sure he's got an idea of an explanation) is why the 'human' form seems to have appeared in so many places.

What does this mean? It's appeared on earth, and where else? Apart from in literature, that is.
posted by dash_slot- at 7:36 AM on March 8, 2008


One thing I wish he would address (because I'm sure he's got an idea of an explanation) is why the 'human' form seems to have appeared in so many places.

Didn't Star Trek Next Generation solve this problem? I think Picard and the gang discovered that there was a single galactic progenitor race with whom humans (and the Kardassians, Vulcans, Klingons, etc) share DNA.

Speaking of progenitors, David Brin's Startide Rising and Uplift War series are pretty amazing books in this genre.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:45 AM on March 8, 2008


dash_slot- : I'm talking about (Banks's) literature.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 7:49 AM on March 8, 2008


ok.
posted by dash_slot- at 8:29 AM on March 8, 2008


I love the bottom picture, the one with the hairy cavemen and the blue aliens, deeply engaged in roasting marshmallows. They came from so far away to do just that, it's heartbreaking.

Never mind the UFO.
posted by omegar at 8:43 AM on March 8, 2008 [2 favorites]




When I was a kid I read every von Däniken book I could track down in Icelandic. Maaaaan, did I ever want to believe. I can't remember exactly when it was that I came to the realization how unlikely this was and how much of a pure wish-fulfillment it was, but the last vestiges of UFO belief weren't killed until I came across a stack of Skeptical Inquirer in my school library at 16 years old (Benjamin Radford, mentioned above by Tube is the managing editor.

But I recall von Däniken fondly, in a loony uncle kinda way. It fired up my pre-pubescent imagination like few other things. It was around the same time that I got into science fiction in a big way. I stuck with SF but von Däniken and other such frippery fell by the wayside.
posted by Kattullus at 8:48 AM on March 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


The poor ancient Sumerians. Their Gods attract all the nutballs -- reptilian UFO enthusiasts, Nazi pseudo-Satanists, those marketing hucksters who made that Secret movie...

Leave the ancient Sumerians alone!
posted by LeeJay at 9:14 AM on March 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


My comment was apparently deleted... at least I saw it posted and now it's gone.

I wrote: "In my father's house are many mansions," which the section of the Bible most often used to justify the existence of life on other planets.

And then I posted, "That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die," which is a Lovecraft quote and sort of a joke, but Lovecraft's Old Gods are often described as extraterrestrials....

Well, I can't imagine that getting deleted. Must have been a glitch in the force....
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 9:53 AM on March 8, 2008


I think some folks flagged the Aliens + Bible discussion as either noise or derail, and the Mods agreed. It probably didn't help when a call out to Mefi Athiests was made in bold lettering for not much of an apparent reason other than religion had been introduced.

No biggie.
posted by Atreides at 9:57 AM on March 8, 2008


Reading that site was a waste of my time, until this picture at the bottom. Great find!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:02 AM on March 8, 2008


Funny you should mention micronauts, OP... If there are truly any ancient astronauts, a good candidate would be bacteria trapped in ice crystals hitching a ride on comets. Kinda makes you wonder if maybe there's something to whole panspermia idea.
posted by greatgefilte at 10:03 AM on March 8, 2008


Ancient Astronauts
posted by doctor_negative at 10:12 AM on March 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


This stuff has a more respectable pedigree than you might think.

Before von Daniken (Chariots of the Gods, 1968) there was Carl Sagan, whose 1966 book Intelligent Life in the Universe, written with Russian cosmologist I. S. Shklovskii, has a section speculating that certain Sumerian representations (? cylinder seals) of gods who gave knowledge to humanity look an awful lot like aliens in some kind of breathing apparatus.

I've often wondered if he regretted that.
posted by jamjam at 10:14 AM on March 8, 2008


If you're into all this, check out this website. It got tons of videos free to watch on the subject: http://www.dark-truth.org/videos.html. I find it all fascinating, although I don't believe all of it.
posted by aurise at 10:47 AM on March 8, 2008


John Glenn is an Ancient Astronaut. Pass it on.
yeah, doc neg beat me to the joke, but mine is a non-fictional example... I think
posted by wendell at 10:57 AM on March 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


But I recall von Däniken fondly, in a loony uncle kinda way. It fired up my pre-pubescent imagination like few other things. It was around the same time that I got into science fiction in a big way.

Ditto. This was heady stuff when I was ten. But now I am more into the real thing.

I mean, Mars in five years! Ahoy!
posted by humannaire at 12:24 PM on March 8, 2008


I also love the ancient ruins on the moon stuff. Truth be told, those videos give me goosebumps every time I watch them.
posted by treepour at 1:18 PM on March 8, 2008


Fucking hippies.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 1:05 AM on March 8 [+] [!]


/eponysterical
posted by [son] QUAALUDE at 1:34 PM on March 8, 2008


These Premises Are Alarmed:" ... One thing I wish he would address (because I'm sure he's got an idea of an explanation) is why the 'human' form seems to have appeared in so many places. I think he may have hinted at it once or twice, but I don't think he's spelled it out. A bit of a tangent."

Yes! I've started Matter which I think prompted my response to this thread, because even though I've hardly made a dent, it's such a relief after Look To Windward which -- despite not being a Culture novel -- was tremendously disappointing.

Now you mention it, I do think he made a few references here and there, but now I also wonder if there wasn't some more back history than I recall. Thanks...you've sparked my curiousity. I'll be rereading the earlier Culture novels right after I finish Matter.
posted by =^^= at 3:22 AM on March 9, 2008


Hey, =^^=, I think you confused titles - Look to Windward is a culture novel (about the light from the Idiran war reaching an orbital). Did you mean the Algebraist?

I picked Excessions up again after Matter. I wish there were more!
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 7:20 AM on March 9, 2008


Does anyone know about animal mutilations that have been alleged to be the work of UFOs, cultists, government agencies, etc.? I recently learned that there have also been alleged cases of human mutilations that follow the classic cattle mutilation pattern of removed eye, rectum, ear, lip area, navel, blood, and internal organs.
posted by millardsarpy at 5:34 PM on March 9, 2008


Gah! You're right, but I didn't like either. Excession is definitely my favourite.
posted by =^^= at 8:00 PM on March 9, 2008


It's alright, but it's no Use of Weapons.
posted by Artw at 10:05 PM on March 9, 2008


These Premises Are Alarmed:" ... One thing I wish he would address (because I'm sure he's got an idea of an explanation) is why the 'human' form seems to have appeared in so many places. I think he may have hinted at it once or twice, but I don't think he's spelled it out. A bit of a tangent."


"Now, in all the above, there are two untold stories implicit. One is the history of the Culture's formation, which was a lot less easy and more troubled than its later demeanour might lead one to expect, and the other is the story which answers the question; why were there all those so-similar humanoid species scattered around the galaxy in the first place? Each story is too complicated to relate here."

From A Few Notes on the Culture

(Though that's probably not a great deal of help...)

Another vote for UoW... Excession, whilst, mostly great gets negative points for me I can never remember which Mind is which.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:02 AM on March 10, 2008


I saw the FPP lead-in and was hoping this was about Neil Armstrong and John Glenn.

No, really.
posted by availablelight at 9:28 AM on March 10, 2008


fearfulsymmetry - thanks for tracking that down! I thought it was in the 'Notes' but didn't see it in a quick skim.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 8:16 AM on March 11, 2008


fearfulsymmetry - thanks for tracking that down! I thought it was in the 'Notes' but didn't see it in a quick skim.

I mainly remember it from someone making a sarky "i.e. This either means 'I've not thought of why yet... or I have and I'm saving it up for a novel'" comment about it
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:31 AM on March 11, 2008


I just very selfishly wish Banks would give away the non-scifi writing (other than The Business which was mildly amusing if formulaic I never managed to take to those) and get cracking on those stories.
posted by =^^= at 2:41 PM on March 11, 2008


No Wasp Factory? No Crow Road? No The Bridge? No ones that are basically slightly less good retreads of The Crow Road but pretty good anyway (Whit, Steep Approach)?
posted by Artw at 3:59 PM on March 11, 2008


No. On the whole, Iain Banks doesn't do it for me. Reading Steep Approach last year reinforced my belief his time is better spent on scifi.
posted by =^^= at 5:15 PM on March 11, 2008


Well, The Bridge was pretty much a sci-fi novel, without the M. Crow Road, I started on vacation but then vacation ended. Maybe I'll finish it next week in New Mexico.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:13 PM on March 11, 2008


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