Japanese whaling and the Australian way
March 12, 2008 4:00 AM   Subscribe

Look, you foreigners just don't understand reality like we Australians do. See mate, it's ok to kill dingos slowly by poisoning. 'Cause they're just a bloody pest. Endangered? Give it a rest! They're everywhere! And Kangaroos? Shoot 'em, beat 'em, whatever works. They destroy the grass mate . But whales? How can those Jap %@#*ards be so cruel [PDF] to such a warm-hearted, endangered animal? So listen, stay well away from that Jap beer mate. All of us down-to-earth wealthy media types know it just ain't whale-safe.
posted by DirtyCreature (45 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: GYOB. -- jessamyn



 
Yep. We are hypocrites.

You forgot mulesing and live exporting of animals.

Does anyone know if the Japanese are paying for anti-mulesing and/or anti-live exporting campaigns?

Tim Flannery claims the whale hunt is sustainable.
posted by sien at 4:12 AM on March 12, 2008


So, tell me what you really think...
posted by StrikeTheViol at 4:12 AM on March 12, 2008


Please give this "Well one species is killed, so how can they complain about another species" It's spurious shit.

Also, since when did Australians inherit the mantle of the worlds whale protectors? I'm sure there are people in other countries that feel strongly against whale harvest who eat meat or are guilty of the horrendous crime of living in a country that has a live sheep trade/abattoir/piggery etc.
posted by mattoxic at 4:18 AM on March 12, 2008


Please give this "Well one species is killed, so how can they complain about another species" a rest.

Sorry (I'm drinking)
posted by mattoxic at 4:19 AM on March 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


So, tell me what you really think...

let me translate for StrikeTheViol: g'yob.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:19 AM on March 12, 2008


Man those Australians are dicks, huh? You know who else is dicks? Samoans. Am I right or am I right?
posted by facetious at 4:20 AM on March 12, 2008


nah, i think ya bein facetious.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:24 AM on March 12, 2008


Trying to sell beer with this despicable cheap shot is really beyond the pale. "Whalesafe beer", eh? Shoots outta the bottle like water out of a whale's blowhole! That's just fucking charming, that is. They oughtta be ashamed of themselves. I'm not defending whaling, but this is just so disgusting, and indeed has the potential to increase racism and hostile feelings against Japanese as a whole.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:24 AM on March 12, 2008


Aren't dingoes an invasive species that has wreaked untold damage on the Australian native environment since humans introduced them? Can the same be said for whales? Delicious, delicious whales.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:28 AM on March 12, 2008


facetious: "Man those Australians are dicks, huh? You know who else is dicks? Samoans. Am I right or am I right?"

Listen bro, I'm Australian. So I have a right to make flimsy sweeping generalisations. Still, we are talking about government policy here.
posted by DirtyCreature at 4:36 AM on March 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


Trying to sell beer with this despicable cheap shot is really beyond the pale.

um, it's a total pisstake.

bluetongue is a boutique beer, available only to yuppies & hipsters. they wouldn't have the budget to advertise on tv, so this is a case of bluetongue blue.

"whalesafe beer" - no aussie would ever take that kinda shit seriously in a million years. well, no white aussie. can't speak for them slanty-eyed, yellow new australians. their idea of a joke is probably to kill a whale, or something.

apart from that, japanese beer is in no way a threat to local brews (except in taste & packaging, but it's fucking expensive & probably makes up about 0.001% of the market share).

flagged as furphy bluey.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:39 AM on March 12, 2008


Listen bro, I'm Australian.

"bro"?

fucking kiwi.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:41 AM on March 12, 2008 [4 favorites]


For years, I've been drinking myself into a stupor every night simply for the sheer reality-avoiding fun of it. Thank you, whale-safe beer! Now my drinking is helping the whales, and killing Japanese businessmen! Just what I always wanted...
posted by twirlypen at 4:41 AM on March 12, 2008


It is a drag, though, DirtyCreature, that you had to frame this post in such an overtly strident manner. The tone of it, pointing such a bitterly sarcastic and spiteful finger toward "we Australians": that's really not going to go over well at MetaFilter, and rightly so. You're winding up sounding as xenophobic and nationalistic as the awful "whalesafe beer" ad...

And on preview:

um, it's a total pisstake.

Well, if you say so... Not being Aussie, I guess I'm missing the subtlety...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:45 AM on March 12, 2008


I guess I'm missing the subtlety...

pretty much every beer ad in recent memory here has used some kinda weirdass humourous tongue-in-cheek device; i have no idea why; it's just the current trend, i guess.

here's another example.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:52 AM on March 12, 2008


and there's one where they use a trebuchet to send a moose into the clouds, so the clouds rain beer. and one where blowup dolls hijack a beer delivery so people can have a street party. and others. they're all the same kinds of idiotic "attention-grabbing" conceits.

it's just a whole bunch of me-too-ism. all the breweries obviously think that viral internet ads are the way to go.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:54 AM on March 12, 2008


Moose in the clouds! You wacky Ozzies!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:00 AM on March 12, 2008


here you go.

as you might see by now, all beer ads are required to be offbeat, slightly surrealistic & youtube friendly.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:06 AM on March 12, 2008


and another one mentioned.

now i am the pawn of my blue overlords. i feel so dirty.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:09 AM on March 12, 2008


This psot is racist against Australians.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 5:11 AM on March 12, 2008


heh - a youtube compilation of top 10 aussie beer commercials

(heh, and did DirtyCreature think this thread would end up being about anything other than beer?)
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:13 AM on March 12, 2008


The dingo example is a bit off, seeing as how they've become endangered in the same way that many other pure breeds of dogs have become endangered; through interbreeding and not so much the poisoning. Kangaroos, whilst the treatment of them is pretty dodgy, are incredibly numerous. The analogy then is a bit off, with whales (or at least the Fins, who are both endangered and a part of the hunt) in a worrying situation that whaling is exacerbating.

While the pain that any animal goes through is a concern, be it roo or whale, I'd like to think that conservation remains a higher factor.

Interest had me checking out the Japanese Whaling Association website for their take, and while they may have had some points, the "imagine Aussies being denied their meat pies" line doesn't quite sell it for me when whale meat is largely limited to a few older Japanese and as such is receiving the hard sell given its recent unpopularity. When meat pies become a delicacy for the Australian cultural elite, maybe then I'll buy their line.

I agree, fuck the racism and empty imagery that goes with a lot of anti-whaling sentiment. But a bunch of racist hicks and a few slightly similar case studies do not excuse an environmentally risky and pointless routine.

Blue Tongue Beer, on the other hand, is a pretty decent drop regardless of that pretty ridiculous ad, and as such I will continue to enjoy as is dictated by my pretentious hipster desires.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 5:14 AM on March 12, 2008


Pour me another one there, Ubu!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:15 AM on March 12, 2008


...my pretentious hipster desires.

So, Sydney-sider, eh?

*ducks*
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:17 AM on March 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


flappo:

one for the road.

the context is a standoff in a bar between aussie & kiwi rugby fans.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:23 AM on March 12, 2008


Sydney-sider

Aye, tis true. *Slowly drives away on his moped... in shame*
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 5:24 AM on March 12, 2008


UbuRoivas: "
um, it's a total pisstake.
"

It is hey? John Singleton, producer and investor in the commercials seems to disagree with you :

"We want the Australian consumer to be aware of who owns their beer company, and what the owners of those brewers really represent and stand for. Do you know who owns and has a say in the making of your beer?"

"For any Australian, who is anti-whaling, show your support by choosing Bluetongue Premium Lager, Australia's first whale safe beer,"

posted by DirtyCreature at 5:31 AM on March 12, 2008


one for the road.

Okay, so we thought she did it with her... but then it appeared she did it with her belly button, but in fact, there was a bloodied, half-conscious Japanese business man (or a dingo, not sure which) just below the bar, and she opened the bottle using his ear.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:31 AM on March 12, 2008


It is hey? John Singleton, producer and investor in the commercials seems to disagree with you

you do know who you're talking about, right? the guy who was responsible for the Newtown Jets being kicked out of the first grade?

sorry, but not to go into long histories here, but i'd trust that grizzled old media hack's word about as far as i could piss a gallstone.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:46 AM on March 12, 2008


Save the whales.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:51 AM on March 12, 2008


Singleton, known as "Singo", commenced a career in advertising in the 1960s before founding with others the Sydney agency Strauss, Palmer and Singleton, McAllan (SPASM) which was later sold to the US Doyle Dane Bernbach network in the early 1970s. After leaving that network Singleton started up again on his own with "John Singleton Advertising" in the 1980s. This agency listed publicy and grew to become the STW Group Ltd which now owns over 50 Australian marketing and advertising businesses including the Singleton Ogilvy & Mather ad agency and an interest in J Walter Thompson's Australian operations.

yep, he's a quotable man; true to his word.

"For any Australian, who is anti-whaling, show your support by choosing Bluetongue Premium Lager, Australia's first whale safe beer"

actually, knowing that that total asswipe is involved with bluetongue, i'll avoid their product like the plague from now on. thanks for the heads-up.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:52 AM on March 12, 2008


eponysterical
posted by fungible at 5:52 AM on March 12, 2008


and there's one where they use a trebuchet to send a moose into the clouds, so the clouds rain beer.

I get so irritated every time I see that commercial. All those thousands and thousands of people, hoisting vast quantities of hops and barley into the clouds, finally even - yes! - a stag deer. All that organization. All that commitment.

But when the clouds do burst and it's raining beer, it becomes obvious that no-one planned for this outcome. Nowhere to be found are the huge stainless-steel tanks open to the sky. No-one so much as puts out a kiddie pool to catch the rain. Instead they're filling their glasses with the run-off from awnings and suchlike. It's so inefficient.

*fumes*
posted by Ritchie at 5:53 AM on March 12, 2008 [3 favorites]


flapjax at midnite: "Trying to sell beer with this despicable cheap shot is really beyond the pale. "Whalesafe beer", eh? Shoots outta the bottle like water out of a whale's blowhole! That's just fucking charming, that is. They oughtta be ashamed of themselves. I'm not defending whaling, but this is just so disgusting, and indeed has the potential to increase racism and hostile feelings against Japanese as a whole."

Oh and by the way, I don't think for a moment that anyone is just looking for a way for avenge Tooheys who is owned by Lion Nathan whose major shareholder is the Japanese company, Kirin, dumping their advertising agency a few years ago. No way, a dinkum multicultural iconic Aussie adman believing that promoting racism to the Australian public to win sales from his Japanese rivals would be ....ummm..... just completely unthinkable. Right?
posted by DirtyCreature at 5:54 AM on March 12, 2008


But when the clouds do burst and it's raining beer, it becomes obvious that no-one planned for this outcome. Nowhere to be found are the huge stainless-steel tanks open to the sky. No-one so much as puts out a kiddie pool to catch the rain. Instead they're filling their glasses with the run-off from awnings and suchlike. It's so inefficient.

Since when have Australians been skilled at efficiently collecting any sort of liquid?
/Hydrology student
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 5:58 AM on March 12, 2008


ah, DirtyCreature: thanks for putting it together in the end.

People would be forgiven for thinking that Singo remains a complete wankstain.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:06 AM on March 12, 2008


a few bits gleaned from wiki...sodium monoflueroacetate was discovered by nazis in ww2 but was found difficult to administer in the killing of humans. rediscovered by amerikan scientists searching for effective means of killing nuisance animals, it is still widely used in the u.s. to kill coyotes.
posted by kitchenrat at 6:11 AM on March 12, 2008


Nicely played, Bruce!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 6:40 AM on March 12, 2008


This isn't about John Singleton. He is a successful businessman doing his job well for his shareholders. What you have to ask yourself is - why does an experienced, successful adman think these kinds of tactics will work on the Australian public? Why is the Australian government allowed to continue to take a hypocritical stance between its foreign and domestic environmental policies?
posted by DirtyCreature at 6:42 AM on March 12, 2008


wrong.

it is about john singleton. he's a fuckwit, true and true (um, in the opinion of others, who i am quoting).

why does he think these tactics will work? maybe because he's a lame-assed fucktard out of ideas, thinking that cashing in on anti-whaling sentiment will work? (see disclaimer above)

as for foreign v domestic - boring, half-baked argument. or, what mattoxic said.

and who the hell do you work for, anyway?
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:51 AM on March 12, 2008


You know who else is dicks? Samoans

No way. NO. WAY. Only a nation pure of heart and free of jerkwads could make so fine a cookie.

So fuck off, doonelover.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:26 AM on March 12, 2008


After flapjax's link, now I want to go to Australia just to play with Moko the dolphin.

I don't drink beer, so the (really inane) advertisements do nothing for me, I don't eat whale (ugh), I think kangaroos are awesome, and I try to steer clear of dingoes in general, lest they eat my babies, so where on the animal-cruelty spectrum do I land?

If it helps, I have a cute, fluffy kitten on my lap right now (cheating, I know).
posted by misha at 7:32 AM on March 12, 2008


Anyone else think dingos are possibly the cutest animal ever?
posted by tiger yang at 7:42 AM on March 12, 2008


You know who else is dicks? Samoans. Am I right or am I right?

Damn straight. That fucking Queequeg and fucking full-face tattoo and his fucking harpoon.
posted by XMLicious at 7:44 AM on March 12, 2008


That's not an axe. This is an axe mate!

(as in grindy GYOFB)
posted by photoslob at 7:56 AM on March 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


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