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LOLa-Sperma-palooza-toza
March 13, 2008 2:52 AM   Subscribe

"We need sperm donations... you need festival tickets... wanna strike a deal?" Ireland wants your sperm.
posted by takeyourmedicine (32 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
I think they have more sperm than they could ever need already:
The purpose of this website was to test market interest through a pilot scheme.
Applications for donation packs have far exceed the expectations.
Our clients are calling a hault to the invitation to apply for packs,
and will review the results of the scheme to decide on how to proceed.
posted by grouse at 2:55 AM on March 13, 2008


So the pilot scheme was a success!
posted by takeyourmedicine at 2:57 AM on March 13, 2008


First-come, first-served!
posted by misteraitch at 3:02 AM on March 13, 2008 [6 favorites]


Huh.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:05 AM on March 13, 2008


"Sperm For Tickets" is kind of lame. How 'bout some genre-specific project titles... "Jizz For Jazz"? "Spunk For Punk"?
posted by hjo3 at 3:12 AM on March 13, 2008 [15 favorites]


Applications for donation packs have far exceed the expectations.

Tee hee.

I don't think they thought the logistics of this through very well. They asked for jizz on the Internet. You know, the place with the largest population of compulsive masturbators in the world. Hell, I might have sent off for a "donation pack" just to see what, er, came in the mail. I might even beat off into it just for the, erm, fuck of it.
posted by DecemberBoy at 3:22 AM on March 13, 2008


And with the festival tickets, a note : congratulations, this is your UPS paternity tracking number !
posted by elpapacito at 3:29 AM on March 13, 2008


Oh, Come on!
posted by Elmore at 3:34 AM on March 13, 2008


I've wasted far too much sperm on Kathy Ireland already.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:03 AM on March 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


If cute Irish girls want my sperm, they're going to have to get it the old-fashioned way.
posted by Eideteker at 5:26 AM on March 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is such a pyramid marketing scheme.

You give your sperm

Then you get five of your friends to give their sperm

Then you get five of each of their friends to give their sperm...
posted by munchingzombie at 5:38 AM on March 13, 2008


You give your sperm

Then you get five of your friends to give their sperm

Then you get five of each of their friends to give their sperm...


And then... BUKKAKE!
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:58 AM on March 13, 2008


umm.... I'll be in my bunk.
posted by Sam.Burdick at 6:43 AM on March 13, 2008


Any Tottenham Hotspur fans remember whn Nayim lobbed Seaman from the half way line?
posted by Nick Verstayne at 6:57 AM on March 13, 2008


They called him the best wanker in Europe.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 6:58 AM on March 13, 2008


Sadly, it's a hoax.
posted by SciencePunk at 7:00 AM on March 13, 2008


Damn.

I've been saving empty yoghurt pots for years for just such an opportunity.
posted by pinkbuttonanus at 7:19 AM on March 13, 2008


Penis-less people want festival tickets too. Well, not me, but I'm sure someone does.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:41 AM on March 13, 2008


Yeah, because Glastonbury needs to have more wankers at it.
posted by flashboy at 7:54 AM on March 13, 2008


Hoax, eh?

You ask for gallons of jizz, you might just get it. Better seal that mail slot tight.
posted by Anything at 8:14 AM on March 13, 2008


Wow, SciencePunk. Well done on lurking for eight months, only to lose your metafiltorical virginity with a resounding debunk. Hi!
posted by mumkin at 9:23 AM on March 13, 2008


Word to the debunk, but even in a comment, a little self-linkage disclaimer goes a long way toward stymieing eventual accusations. If your username just happens to be a coincidence though, my apologies.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 9:30 AM on March 13, 2008


twice the fun.
posted by krautland at 9:49 AM on March 13, 2008


"Jizz For Jazz"? "Spunk For Punk"?

Nice. I was thinking "Cum on Feel the Noize".
posted by quin at 10:22 AM on March 13, 2008 [2 favorites]


Debunked! Hah. I thought there was more to this than gametes the eye.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:53 AM on March 13, 2008


So let me get this strait. After centuries of oppression and ethnic cleansing the Irish finally wrest control of self-determination and their own destiny and they decide to ethnically cleans themselves by inviting the world to send them their spunk. Brilliant!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:06 PM on March 13, 2008


Debunked? More like despunked, AMIRITE?
posted by grouse at 1:05 PM on March 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


The man just had his semen tested for infertility. His count?

520 million.

Average count? 20 million.

The best was when he sent me a phone pic of the sample. The problem was he sent it to all his friends too. Now it's a full out war of the sperm count between all of them and no one is trying to have kids but us. Men and their virility. Pfft.
posted by dasheekeejones at 4:55 PM on March 13, 2008


Now that I read it in full, it makes sense that it's a hoax. It has to stay body temperature for 1 hour. Unless someone is flying a supersonic plane, it ain't gonna happen.
posted by dasheekeejones at 4:56 PM on March 13, 2008


Let me guess. This is a Virgin subsidiary, right?
posted by dhartung at 5:20 PM on March 13, 2008


Applications for donation packs have far exceed the expectations.

Eeew. Sticky.
posted by Zack_Replica at 8:18 PM on March 13, 2008


Ah yeah, apologies for the self-link ... but I'm the only one who has done a debunking so far, AFAIK.

To lurk for 8 months is really testament to you cats - I never feel the need to add much.
posted by SciencePunk at 4:29 AM on March 14, 2008


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