Merry Christmas.

March 13, 2008 10:51 AM

Bacon lollipops. That is all.
posted by Dormant Gorilla (85 comments total)

Is there anything bacon can't do?
posted by flashboy at 10:55 AM on March 13 [2 favorites]

Unfortunately, they also sell absinthe lollipops, which could only taste tongue-murderingly awful.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:56 AM on March 13

Jesus got my letter!!!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:58 AM on March 13 [37 favorites]

I'll see your bacon lollipops and raise you picklepops!
posted by gaspode at 11:02 AM on March 13

I'll see your bacon lollipops and raise you picklepops!

Uhh... that's not a raise.
posted by dersins at 11:05 AM on March 13 [2 favorites]

Damn, $2.50 a pop? You could buy a whole lot of bacon for that kind of scratch.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:08 AM on March 13

wow. jerky on a stick.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:13 AM on March 13

This is what the Internet was made for.
posted by Caduceus at 11:13 AM on March 13

I saw that on Daily Candy yesterday. One thing the internet has taught me: bacon is so much more versatile than I ever expected.

I have two bottles of absinthe here. I'm still kinda afraid of them. I love the bottles tho.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:16 AM on March 13

And when you're done eating the pigs flesh, you can take their heart valves!
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:17 AM on March 13

What did you just do.

What did you just do.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:17 AM on March 13 [2 favorites]

And when you're done eating the pigs flesh, you can take their heart valves!

And make purses from their ears!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:18 AM on March 13

PorkiesBlue
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:20 AM on March 13

I was sure there was gonna be an Archie MacPhee linkfest in here.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:23 AM on March 13

Damn, $2.50 a pop? You could buy a whole lot of bacon for that kind of scratch.

Be nice, or Dormant Gorilla will no longer post his URLs about swine.

(I know, that's no way to pronounce URL)
posted by artifarce at 11:23 AM on March 13 [1 favorite]

Pig on a twig.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:24 AM on March 13 [1 favorite]

Well those look dead simple to make. Maybe someone ought to give it a shot at home. Possibly me. But not today: I have to make ice cream sandwiches on chocolate-covered matzo tonight (really).
posted by uncleozzy at 11:27 AM on March 13

uncleozzy: for Passover? Can I come? ;)
posted by artifarce at 11:28 AM on March 13

Hmmmm, lets see- a pound of smoky, crispycrunchy, peppery, salty, maply bacon crackling in a pan- or one lollipop that tastes somewhat like bacon?

As if we needed further proof that people are bad at math....
posted by Patapsco Mike at 11:29 AM on March 13

a pound of smoky, crispycrunchy, peppery, salty, maply bacon crackling in a pan- or one lollipop that tastes somewhat like bacon?

FALSE DICHOTOMY.

They both serve glorious functions.
posted by dios at 11:34 AM on March 13 [4 favorites]

artifarce: Fake Passover: my girlfriend's a UU whose family does things a little bit their own way. I think it's just an excuse to eat chocolate-covered Matzo and macaroons and drink too much wine.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:35 AM on March 13 [2 favorites]

Eat a BLT with fries covered in bacon salt, and for dessert bacon chocolate chip cookies, followed by this bacon lollipop. Perfect.
posted by splatta at 11:39 AM on March 13

not just bacon, maple syrup and bacon, it's a wonderful combination
posted by caddis at 11:40 AM on March 13

not just bacon, maple syrup and bacon, it's a wonderful combination

Indeed. Uncured bacon, fried up in a cast-iron pan, served on a warm plate with some organic maple syrup. It's a luxurious and beautiful thing.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:48 AM on March 13

*foams at the mouth*
posted by hellphish at 11:50 AM on March 13

I showed this to my friend, who's a bacontarian. Yes, bacontarian, as in, will never eat any meat at all including fish, but will totally eat bacon. I have strange friends.
posted by Mach5 at 11:50 AM on March 13 [5 favorites]

Be nice, or Dormant Gorilla will no longer post his URLs about swine

Her URLs, actually. Two years without an fpp and then it's pig bits on a stick. I stay classy.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 11:52 AM on March 13 [4 favorites]

maple syrup and bacon, it's a wonderful combination

Agreed.

By far the best dessert I've ever had is the honey-bacon-apricot cornbread with maple ice cream drizzled with hot maple syrup and chunks of unbelievably perfect bacon from here. This is an adaptation of the recipe, but the real thing has more bacon and a hell of a lot more butter.

I've watched them prepare it in the open kitchen there:

Melt butter in pan. Add square of cornbread, put pan in oven to heat cornbread.

In another pan, fry large dice (1/8" or so) pieces of bacon in butter.

Add maple syrup to second pan.

Reduce a bit.

Top cornbread with maple icecream, then drizzle with butter / syrup / bacon.

It is the perfect dessert.
posted by dersins at 11:53 AM on March 13 [21 favorites]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:57 AM on March 13 [6 favorites]

Bacon IS a vegetable.
posted by empath at 11:58 AM on March 13 [2 favorites]

Also, lollyphile.com sounds like some kind of japanese porn site.
posted by empath at 11:59 AM on March 13 [1 favorite]

I showed this to my friend, who's a bacontarian. Yes, bacontarian, as in, will never eat any meat at all including fish, but will totally eat bacon. I have strange friends

Well, bacon is the gateway meat. That's how I convert vegetarians back to the side of truth, justice and the carnivorous way.

Four conversions and counting...
posted by dersins at 11:59 AM on March 13 [3 favorites]

It is the perfect dessert.

I'm a little turned on by it, frankly.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:05 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]

What to hold your bacon in while serving it?

Why, bacon cups of course!
posted by docjohn at 12:09 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]

I don't want a pickle. I just want to lick on a bacon-maple.
I don't want to die. I just want to get a little bacon-high
per.
posted by notashroom at 12:10 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]

Well, bacon is the gateway meat. That's how I convert vegetarians back to the side of truth, justice and the carnivorous way.

Although it had nothing to do with dersins, I stopped being a vegatarian because I missed bacon. You just can't fake that stuff. Some might say I'm easily swayed, but those people don't have a goddamn clue about how wonderful bacon is.
posted by sleepy pete at 12:11 PM on March 13

I'd lick it.
posted by gummi at 12:19 PM on March 13

I need to put this on Baconbot, STAT.
posted by clango at 12:22 PM on March 13

This post is full of want.
posted by owtytrof at 12:25 PM on March 13

Needs more bacon.
posted by sharpener at 12:33 PM on March 13

How did bacon become the New Internet Thing all of a sudden? Barely a day goes by without some sort of bacon novelty showing up here or in my RSS reader. Not that I'm complaining! Bacon is delicious.
posted by rivenwanderer at 12:35 PM on March 13

Really, the only thing left to do now is figure out how to distill a form of bacon liqueur.
posted by kosher_jenny at 12:36 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]

And I am aware that the previous comment was more than a little anti-eponysterical
posted by kosher_jenny at 12:37 PM on March 13 [2 favorites]

What sharpener said.
posted by sfts2 at 12:39 PM on March 13

Oh, kosher_jenny, that cannot possibly be difficult. I'm thinking soak some cooked bacon and maybe a dash of hickory smoke flavoring in vodka for a while, then chill it and skim the grease off the top. Or leave it. Why not? BACON COCKTAILS! Yes, please! Rimmed with bacon salt on the glass.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:40 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]

Really, the only thing left to do now is figure out how to distill a form of bacon liqueur

Well, there's this.
posted by dersins at 12:42 PM on March 13

... and this.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:44 PM on March 13

Almost every night I sit down to a dinner accompanied by a salad containing textured vegetable protein masquerading as bacon. And I die a little inside. This post, however, has given me reason to live.

Until my heart stops, of course.
posted by tommasz at 12:52 PM on March 13

Someone has already beaten you to the punch, kosher_jenny. Mmmmm, bacon infused vodka.
posted by friendlyjuan at 12:56 PM on March 13

Some time ago when I was pondering what's going to be the next "pirates" since pirates were obviously going to be on the wane soon I came up with a lot of prospective candidates but I never ever dreamed that bacon would be the new pirates.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:56 PM on March 13 [3 favorites]

Damn you uncleozzy! Beaten again.
posted by friendlyjuan at 12:57 PM on March 13

Mmm. I wonder if you could make bacon out of pirates. Pirate bacon. Yarrrrr.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:58 PM on March 13

I never ever dreamed that bacon would be the new pirates

If bacon is the new pirates, what's the new ninjas?
posted by uncleozzy at 12:58 PM on March 13

This thread has me counting the minutes until I'm meeting my friends downtown for beers. Guess what's served at the place where we're meeting?
posted by middleclasstool at 12:58 PM on March 13

By the way, here is Hardees suggesting that bacon cheddar fries are a perfect accompaniment to bacon cheddar melts.

uncleozzy: that one hasn't quite tipped yet so I think we're looking at an interim bacon-vs-ninjas tension.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:59 PM on March 13

...which I think we can all agree should be the theme of a major Hollywood movie franchise.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:01 PM on March 13

3 Ninjas Kick Bacon?
posted by uncleozzy at 1:03 PM on March 13

Backbacon.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:04 PM on March 13 [2 favorites]

How did bacon become the New Internet Thing all of a sudden? Barely a day goes by without some sort of bacon novelty showing up here or in my RSS reader. Not that I'm complaining! Bacon is delicious.


indeed
posted by caddis at 1:06 PM on March 13

This could be good. My roommate gave me chocolate with little bits of bacon in it (for Christmas actually) and the salty and sweet tastes worked well together. Same is true for fried bacon and peanut butter sandwiches. On the other hand, a friend of mine sent me some bacon mints and they were not good at all. One of the most terrible things I've ever tasted.
posted by Hugonaut at 1:07 PM on March 13

WRT bacon vodka, the best I've ever sampled is that served at that fine NYC drinking establishment, Double Down Saloon. Click here.
posted by nowonmai at 1:09 PM on March 13

a friend of mine sent me some bacon mints and they were not good at all

Mints are the natural enemies of bacon. Didn't you know that?
posted by tommasz at 1:10 PM on March 13

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a maple-bacon pop? One . . . two . . . three . . . [crunch] . . . three.
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:10 PM on March 13

I promise you, we pirates have not gone anywhere. I'll be stealin' yer bacon the minute you lubbers turn yer backs.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:11 PM on March 13

True salt-and-foam pirates will clearly never go away. Only the dishwatery pirate-as-meme-du-jour concept has faded.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:15 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]

See also.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:43 PM on March 13

Fry: "... And this ham gum is all bones!"

/Futurama
posted by WPW at 2:15 PM on March 13

see, there is god!
Ok, maybe this isn't proof of a loving deity, but still awesome.
posted by pointystick at 2:15 PM on March 13

I would think that bacon flavored lollipops wouldn't really convey the full awesomeness that is bacon. It would lose the crunch, and the smell, etc.

Now bacon flavored ice-cream?... That's where the real money is.
posted by quin at 2:29 PM on March 13

Less bacon; More Absinthe.

I'm a huge fan of the absinthe lolly and absinthe chocolate; not big on the bacon tho, go figure.
posted by sir_rubixalot at 3:38 PM on March 13

How did bacon become the New Internet Thing all of a sudden?

It may have started as an allusion to a particular (deservedly) obscure sexual practice, sort of like a non-pictorial Goatse.
posted by acb at 5:30 PM on March 13

I think civilation has nowhere to go but down from here, since it's obviously peaked.
posted by jonmc at 5:52 PM on March 13

Would the absinthe lollipop have the same effect as drinking absinthe? (I can just see the lawsuits happening after someone's kid gets ahold of one of them...)
posted by sarcasticah at 6:18 PM on March 13

One of my friends just documented, in excruciating detail, the making of bacon vodka. Not for the feint of heart
posted by bigtex at 6:31 PM on March 13

sausage that bacon, boy!
posted by about_time at 7:07 PM on March 13

I'd lick it.

I got'cha meat candy right here.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:22 PM on March 13

Bacon Shoe. Not footwear but a rap trio from Kansas City, Missouri. Lethal-D, Cocktopus, and Mr. Ruggles, who instead of taking the deejay role on stage, prefers to cook bacon in a skillet.
(via)
posted by Sailormom at 8:23 PM on March 13

I showed this to my friend, who's a bacontarian. Yes, bacontarian, as in, will never eat any meat at all including fish, but will totally eat bacon. I have strange friends.

So your friend is annoying as hell to both omnivores and vegetarians? I'd say you need new friends.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:41 PM on March 13

An old roomate of mine came up with something like this years ago, but his version was chocolate covered bacon. He also envisioned a "Brazier Dairy Queen" blizzard involving fried chicken strips and chocolate chips in vanilla ice cream. Any takers?
posted by nola at 9:11 PM on March 13

Would the absinthe lollipop have the same effect as drinking absinthe? (I can just see the lawsuits happening after someone's kid gets ahold of one of them...)

No... unfortunately, they do not. I buy them all the time and although they are delicious, nothing beyond that. :/
posted by sir_rubixalot at 10:34 PM on March 13

Metafilter: Don't insert anti-Bush editorialization into your post about the Elephant Bacon Popsickle economic bubble and peak bacon theory.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:48 PM on March 13

He also envisioned a "Brazier Dairy Queen" blizzard involving fried chicken strips and chocolate chips in vanilla ice cream.

I like the ice cream angle, but "chicken and waffles" is already a "thing."
posted by artifarce at 10:27 AM on March 14

Now bacon flavored ice-cream?... That's where the real money is.

Been there, done that. It's exceptionally good in vanilla bean ice cream.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 10:49 AM on March 14

Yep. Tried bacon ice-cream 2 yrs ago in Rehoboth. Verrrrry tasty.
posted by grateful at 11:32 AM on March 14

Ordered a four-pack, I'll report back.
posted by rollbiz at 12:51 PM on March 14