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March 13, 2008 9:40 PM   Subscribe

Like a dog fucking a blender. Six-Word Reviews of each of the 763 SXSW Mp3s. [Previously] [Via]
posted by churl (68 comments total) 41 users marked this as a favorite

 
I appreciate this, but I would appreciate it way more if there was some basic sorting functionality (esp. by rating, maybe genre).
posted by grobstein at 9:47 PM on March 13, 2008


It's still a fucking review goldmine.
posted by horseblind at 9:51 PM on March 13, 2008


(I initially hoped "Like a dog fucking a blender" was a review of the whole showcase rather than some particular song.)
posted by grobstein at 9:52 PM on March 13, 2008 [2 favorites]


(I initially hoped "Like a dog fucking a blender" was a review of the whole showcase rather than some particular song.)

It is.

[bitter Austinite]
posted by spiderwire at 9:56 PM on March 13, 2008


This guitarist has too many feelings.

AHAHAHAHAHA the snark is strong in this one. I haven't laughed this much at plain text on the web in a while.
posted by loquacious at 9:57 PM on March 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Awesome, some of these are really funny. And most of them seem to give me a clear idea what the band will sound like to.

Haha:
This guitarist has too many feelings.
Turn away, Coldplay’s raping Maroon 5.
That’s how to rob Pink Floyd.
Was there a special on orchestras?
posted by oblio_one at 9:57 PM on March 13, 2008


Your band sucks; film at eleven.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:00 PM on March 13, 2008


In all fairness, these are funny.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:06 PM on March 13, 2008


I see what you did there
posted by finite at 10:09 PM on March 13, 2008


good points louche, appropriately written too
posted by oblio_one at 10:10 PM on March 13, 2008


Another meme; Spiders eat my brain.
posted by loquacious at 10:11 PM on March 13, 2008


Say It All in Six Words
posted by finite at 10:17 PM on March 13, 2008


So I was wondering if I should have made this a FPP as well, but instead I just put it in the previous SWSX thread.
posted by awfurby at 10:18 PM on March 13, 2008


I too, thought they were amusing.
posted by tellurian at 10:23 PM on March 13, 2008


Some people can't count to six
posted by finite at 10:27 PM on March 13, 2008


oops, titles not descriptions *slaps forehead*
posted by finite at 10:33 PM on March 13, 2008


> So I was wondering if I should have made this a FPP as well, but instead I just put it in the previous SWSX thread.

Damnit. I even went back and searched the original sxsw torrent thread for this link to make sure nobody'd gone back and posted it there, but somehow I missed that much more recent thread. Just an egregious oversight, sorry.
posted by churl at 10:36 PM on March 13, 2008


I for one think it's worthy of its own FPP.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:37 PM on March 13, 2008


I am not good.

At this.

Thing.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:38 PM on March 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


I appreciate this, but I would appreciate it way more if there was some basic sorting functionality (esp. by rating, maybe genre).

I agree, Grobstein, so I did something about it. Here's an Excel file with all the data. Or, if you'd prefer a text file, you can have that too. Enjoy!
posted by barnacles at 10:38 PM on March 13, 2008 [4 favorites]


"They ride around on a tritecycle."

I know this band. Dude's right.
posted by PhatLobley at 10:49 PM on March 13, 2008


The review of the entire showcase would be "Like a dog fucking Blender Magazine"
posted by wendell at 11:15 PM on March 13, 2008


This was fantastic. "Bootgaze." Snerk.
posted by jokeefe at 11:24 PM on March 13, 2008


Not to mention, this reviews are both informative and correct. Black Mountain: "Okay for bonfires and nowhere else." Nothing more need be said.
posted by jokeefe at 11:28 PM on March 13, 2008


Metafilter: Remarkably many boring influences at once.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:51 PM on March 13, 2008


six word reviews seem amazingly popular
posted by the_very_hungry_caterpillar at 2:41 AM on March 14, 2008


Soft pink vagina frosted jazz cupcakes.

Man, whatever that is, I want some of it.
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:31 AM on March 14, 2008


I remember the first 10 word review. We never thought anyone would break the barrier into nine words. Now, here we are, looking at hundreds of six-word reviews.
The world is a crazy place.
posted by puckupdate at 3:46 AM on March 14, 2008


Where's the Bon Iver review?
posted by pxe2000 at 4:35 AM on March 14, 2008


This is incredibly useful, seeing as I downloaded the whole torrent weeks ago and have yet to find the motivation to trudge through it, file after file.
posted by grabbingsand at 4:52 AM on March 14, 2008


Not another six-word-comment thread!
posted by SevenPercentSolution at 5:05 AM on March 14, 2008


i'm halfway through the list - the funny thing is "like a dog fucking a blender" is for the only song of these i haven't been able to finish listening to - and it's an uncannily accurate description, not an insult
posted by pyramid termite at 5:48 AM on March 14, 2008


Skilled but late to the party

Hey now! Nobody makes vague indecipherable insults at one of kick-assing-ist guitarists around!

My favorite band does not suck!
posted by papercake at 6:11 AM on March 14, 2008


Shit sandwich.
posted by nicepersonality at 6:27 AM on March 14, 2008


This is the best thing I've read all week:

The Show Is the Rainbow - Swatting Flies
The Show is the Rainbow is ME, Darren Keen. I am a one man producer guy band from Nebraska. I rap and sing and dance and have live videos. My music is very chaotic and poppy at the same time. I tour a ton. 650 shows in my first 5 years of being a band. I released an cd/lp last year called GYMNASIA on SAF records, and am just finishing up a new album tentatively titled WET FIST. I do not know who will be releasing it. Probably the biggest label in the world.

And the song's pretty damn great, too.
posted by ColdChef at 6:36 AM on March 14, 2008


Corn syrup and carbonated goat jism.

That's so much better than fantastic.
posted by sixswitch at 6:36 AM on March 14, 2008


Apparently this reviewer really digs Creature.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:54 AM on March 14, 2008


My nephew with cello is mushy
posted by timsteil at 7:15 AM on March 14, 2008


These reviews are more extensive than anything Maxim would do.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:18 AM on March 14, 2008


The bitch is gone. Move on.

This is the best of the web.
posted by scabrous at 7:19 AM on March 14, 2008


Droid Attack, my friend's band, was "You can smell the beer" Ha! That sums it up. Well, they are pretty much Stoner Rock.

I think it would've gotten a better review (well, depending on the reviewers taste), if it were mixed better. The music kicks, but sadly, I think this last album didn't have so hot production. I believe they're working on a new album. I hope they find a better producer. The ones they used before were great.

Either way, if you like stoner rock, check 'em out, they're definitely a fun/party band.
posted by symbioid at 7:30 AM on March 14, 2008


Austin invaded but Twitter still functioning.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:57 AM on March 14, 2008


one mans opinion, well organized links
posted by djseafood at 8:03 AM on March 14, 2008


Have I counted to six correctly?
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:04 AM on March 14, 2008


I scraped the top 70 songs from this excellent list. If there is a free way to send large files that doesn't involve leaving my laptop uploading all night throw me a link and I'll put them up somewhere.
posted by mecran01 at 8:05 AM on March 14, 2008


Glib reviews from critical burn-out.

Not to mention, this reviews are both informative and correct. Black Mountain: "Okay for bonfires and nowhere else." Nothing more need be said.

RONG.

See, having seen more than a handful of these bands, and noting which ones he likes, he's coming from the perspective of a smug NPR reviewer. Wow, man, he's 18% too cool for Apple and Starbucks!

I'd also wager that he tried to do too many of these in a row, noting that even some of his higher-rated choices still get a glib dismissal, and on more than a few (say, the Sian Alice Group), being familiar with the band puts the song in context, especially because it doesn't fit well with the rest of the selections and their emphasis on trad-indie pop.
posted by klangklangston at 8:19 AM on March 14, 2008


I should have thought of this when I trudged through the whole collection. Kudos to Morning News for doing this, though perhaps I'm enjoying the snark because I thought this year's music was surprisingly weak. I normally grab two dozen or so bands from the SXSW shows, but this year it was less then a handful.
posted by Vaska at 8:26 AM on March 14, 2008


This is one of the best reviews I've seen since "Shit sandwitch."

Shawn Sahm and the Tex-Mex Experience
Like a moldy carnival corn-dog.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:15 AM on March 14, 2008


Your favorite band sucks, KlangKlangston.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:22 AM on March 14, 2008


I'd also wager that he tried to do too many of these in a row,

In that wager, klangklangston, you'd triumph.
posted by ftrain at 9:23 AM on March 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Not as good as Stabbing Westward.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:24 AM on March 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Your favorite band sucks, KlangKlangston.

I hope you paid The Onion a dollar to use their cleverness instead of your own.
posted by klangklangston at 9:36 AM on March 14, 2008


Needs a "sort by rating" feature.
posted by anthill at 9:49 AM on March 14, 2008


Needs a "sort by snarking" feature.
posted by ardgedee at 9:58 AM on March 14, 2008


This is actually really useful. I mean, I may or may not agree with the reviewer, but that list really benefits from some sort of winnowing.

This is great. "Wolves feed as an orchestra tunes."
posted by mr_roboto at 11:09 AM on March 14, 2008


Snark is easy, rocking is hard.
posted by drezdn at 11:15 AM on March 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


This is great. "Wolves feed as an orchestra tunes."

I've seen Evangelista, and this is wholly accurate.
posted by jokeefe at 11:46 AM on March 14, 2008


wait until the orchestra gets hungry and the wolves tune
posted by pyramid termite at 11:54 AM on March 14, 2008


Metafilter: This song repeatedly teabags the listener.
posted by sparkletone at 12:25 PM on March 14, 2008


Metafilter: Acceptable—if they dress as wizards.
posted by ND¢ at 1:08 PM on March 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


six words = good shit, but this right here is comedy gold:

ANTHEM: This song by Born in the Flood is inexcusable. Consider: (1) It is called “Anthem,” and it is an anthem. (2) It sounds a like Bono and the Edge riding around on Sparklehorses. (3) I can’t understand the lyrics but there’s a crown mentioned. It was heretofore considered impossible for any singer to overcome these cognitive challenges in order to create a distinct and memorable song. And yet this man does exactly that.

Or to put it another way: When you were 23 and living alone without many friends and definitely no girlfriends, did you ever jerk off and cry at the same time? This is your song.


BWAHAHAHAHAA!!

thank you so, so very much. excellent FPP
posted by lonefrontranger at 7:35 PM on March 14, 2008


Noon monday. Out of city limits.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:38 PM on March 14, 2008


Awesome. As in totally effin'. Awesome.
posted by whuppy at 8:24 AM on March 15, 2008


It's better than bad - it's good!
posted by Zack_Replica at 12:42 PM on March 15, 2008


Never did I think I would see these words together: "carbonated goat jism." Brilliant!
posted by HeartAuntBee at 10:48 AM on March 16, 2008


Metafilter: 18% too cool for Apple and Starbucks
posted by morganw at 10:12 PM on March 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Here are the URLs for just the 72 starfive rated songs. I wish I could brag that I'd written a cool Python script to do this, but that would have taken all day, I might have learned something, I could repeat the exercise for the starfour songs and I could have stuck the six word reviews in the tags. Instead, I used wget, find, grep and an emacs "keyboard macro".

To retrieve these put them in a file & "wget -i mylistofmp3urls.txt". If you're on a Mac and don't have wget, install MacPorts. For Windows, get cygwin.

http://audio.sxsw.com/2008/mp3/Mission_to_the_Sea-Sugar_And_The_Queen_Master_1_MP3.mp3
http://audio.sxsw.com/2008/mp3/Ian_Moore-House_Up_On_The_Hill.mp3

[this is too long... find the whole list here]
posted by morganw at 8:43 AM on March 17, 2008


huh? previewed that eight times. whole list HERE
posted by morganw at 8:45 AM on March 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


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