Don't Look Now!

March 15, 2008 3:03 AM

Creepy, side-stepping gnome caught on video.

A "CREEPY gnome" said to wander around a village at night is terrifying locals so much that many fear leaving their homes after dark, according to reports. Locals in the Argentinean town of General Guemes claim the "gnome" – which wears a pointy hat and walks sideways like a crab – has been seen walking their streets by many people, UK newspaper The Sun reported.

What the ...?

Knowing The Sun's disregard for hard facts over a good story, I'm not sure what to make of this, but the video footage of the 'gnome' definitely rates highly on the creep-o-meter.

posted by essexjan (98 comments total)

boing boing a day or two ago
posted by jfrancis at 3:06 AM on March 15

metafilter, today!
posted by Dave Faris at 3:07 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

I WANT TO BELIEVE.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:11 AM on March 15

Digg (again), tomorrow!
posted by Elmore at 3:12 AM on March 15

There is better footage of it on youtube
posted by jfrancis at 3:15 AM on March 15 [21 favorites]

boing boing a day or two ago

and your point is what, jfrancis?
posted by essexjan at 3:27 AM on March 15

There is better footage of it on youtube

and your point is what, jfrancis?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:30 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

No worries. jfrancis has nothing to add except that he's seen it all before.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:32 AM on March 15

Wait, I've seen this episode. After Shaggy & Scoob fall into the secret cave, they eventually discover that the lighthouse keeper has been sending out a monkey in suit at night to terrorize the villagers.
posted by D.C. at 3:34 AM on March 15 [5 favorites]

Dave Faris has it about right. Metafilter content is posted by a single user. My point is it looks like you guys are reposting whatever is popular on Digg or BoingBoing. And surely you all could have figured out my point all on your own without asking.
posted by jfrancis at 4:03 AM on March 15

"This R2 unit has a bad motivator, look!"
"Hey, what are you trying to push on us?"
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:18 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

Squabble all you want, it won't save you from the creepy sidestepping gnome of General Guemes.
posted by Mocata at 4:39 AM on March 15

Hehehe, those kids totally scream like... well teenage boys scream when they're scared I guess.

So it's a limping midget with a pointy hat?
posted by dabitch at 4:50 AM on March 15

Well, looks like it's time to call in an expert. Someone call David Lynch.
posted by Greg Nog at 4:59 AM on March 15 [8 favorites]

boing boing a day or two ago

Who gives a flying fuck?

I really really really hope this story is real.
posted by cmonkey at 5:03 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

A small, crippled man that you could outrace at a brisk walk? Not threatening.

I dreamt last night that I had hired a web developer who insisted on coding everything to work only in Internet Explorer 5. Now that was scary.
posted by ardgedee at 5:15 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

The real question is, is this gnome just side-stepping, or is he side-stepping the issues?

I'll betcha he's a flip-flopper, too...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:16 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

creepy gnome for fuck sake.


thanks Rupe

Try to get a balrog or a cave troll next time
posted by mattoxic at 5:21 AM on March 15

You gnome? Naw, I don't gnome. Never metme.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:24 AM on March 15

"Hehehe, those kids totally scream like... well teenage boys scream when they're scared I guess."

or like teenage boys when they are making a fake video....

really, people...... what, did you all BORROW that $5? I would have thought that if you had a job to be able to afford the $5 membership fee, you would be smarter than this..
posted by HuronBob at 5:24 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

I believe the Sun article nails it (albeit insensitively) in the first two words of the article: "The midget ..."
posted by itchylick at 5:30 AM on March 15

I think this might be a viral for the travelocity roaming gnome.

If not that, I'd bet it's a viral for SOMETHING. The thing that gets me is the zoom in on the gnome. How man cell phone users would immediately zoom in with the phone? How many cell phone users even know that their phone zooms in?

Also, why are things like bigfoot, UFOs, and sidestepping gnomes always revealing themselves to individuals with such bad cameras?
posted by splatta at 5:32 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

A small, crippled man that you could outrace at a brisk walk? Not threatening.

You'll need to go to sleep at some point. That's when he silently sneaks in through the catflap and steals all your underpants.
posted by tomcooke at 5:42 AM on March 15 [3 favorites]

If not that, I'd bet it's a viral for SOMETHING. The thing that gets me is the zoom in on the gnome. How man cell phone users would immediately zoom in with the phone? How many cell phone users even know that their phone zooms in?

It probably is a viral, but the video camera on my phone zooms in and out using the same navigation buttons I use to move around the menu, so it's not exactly a hidden feature.
posted by cmonkey at 5:43 AM on March 15

Dave: He's got gnomes.
Gaz: Aye, he bloody would have.
posted by bwg at 5:43 AM on March 15

I would have thought that if you had a job to be able to afford the $5 membership fee, you would be smarter than this..

What has smartness got to do with it. Jan saw something that she found amusing, and thought she'd share it with us. No harm. You want to check out something that you think is worthy of your time, there are plenty of other threads here you can take a look at. Don't be an ass just because you can.
posted by hadjiboy at 5:46 AM on March 15 [10 favorites]

well teenage boys scream when they're scared I guess.

Teenage boys--I'm in my twenties and I still scream like a girl!
posted by hadjiboy at 5:48 AM on March 15

Y'know, this story reminds me of a song I heard the other day. Goes like this:

sidestepping gnome
you better get back home
sidestepping gnome
they caught you on a cellphone
sidestepping gnome
i'll bet you're just a viral
sidestepping gnome
a downward internet spiral
sidestepping gnome
your sidestep's a little off kilter
sidestepping gnome
what'cha doin' on metafilter?
what'cha doin' on metafilter?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:49 AM on March 15 [7 favorites]

The real question is, is this gnome just side-stepping, or is he side-stepping the issues?

I'll betcha he's a flip-flopper, too...

Leave Dennis Kucinich out of this! He's already dropped out of the primaries, so for god's sake let the poor tiny man be!
posted by spoobnooble at 5:51 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

CAN'T SLEEP SIDESTEPPING GNOME WILL EAT ME
posted by kcds at 5:53 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

OMG GNOME!!!
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:54 AM on March 15

Metafilter: boing boing a day or two ago
posted by DU at 5:56 AM on March 15 [4 favorites]

hadjiboy...

"Jan" never said she found it amusing, "Jan" said the following:

"Knowing The Sun's disregard for hard facts over a good story, I'm not sure what to make of this, but the video footage of the 'gnome' definitely rates highly on the creep-o-meter"

note the "knowing the Sun's disregard for the hard facts..." statement, she suspected it was crap at that point... then the "I'm not sure what to make of this..."... she's kidding, right...? 99% of the world "knows what to make of it", it's phoney... and finally, "rates highly on the creep-o-meter...." only if you had to borrow the $5 'cuz you really think there are pointy headed little guys in your backyard....

sheesh...
posted by HuronBob at 5:56 AM on March 15

That said, this is lame. They just happened to be video taping themselves standing around? And then when the gnome shows up on camera, they don't scream until they've made sure to get a really good shot? Pf.
posted by DU at 5:59 AM on March 15

Gnome is where the snark is
posted by Flashman at 6:17 AM on March 15 [5 favorites]

little creepy gnome
made the teenaged boys scream, but
boingboing saw it first.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:20 AM on March 15

EL DUENDE!!!!!!
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 6:21 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

Haven't you got a gnome to go to? No we're Gnomads...
posted by merocet at 6:22 AM on March 15

There are actually at least 2 versions of this footage out there. The first to emerge3, and probably the original, is the one linked by The Scun. Another version is crudely digitally altered to have one of the Duende's arms wave in a rather silly manner. This latter footage can be identified by a couple of weird lens flare like flashes that occur on the figure just as it steps out of the grass.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 6:23 AM on March 15

It's a sad world where a few guys can't video themselves crouching in a filthy alley without being menaced by sidestepping viral gnomes.
posted by acetonic at 6:25 AM on March 15 [12 favorites]

Not only is there a gnome in this video,
But the gnome...is a midget...midget...midget...midget!
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:25 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

TOM TANCREDO IS LOOSE IN ARGENTINA.
posted by EarBucket at 6:33 AM on March 15

This would be better if the gnome interrupted a bevy of young ottoman-humpers instead of alley-crouchers. Perhaps the gnome just wants to hump furniture as well.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:33 AM on March 15

If it's in the Sun, it must be true.
posted by afx237vi at 6:48 AM on March 15

But the gnome...is a midget...midget...midget...midget!

Badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom

Gnome! Ahhhhh, it's a gnome!

Badger, badger, badger, badger ...
posted by bwg at 6:50 AM on March 15

Also, why are things like bigfoot, UFOs, and sidestepping gnomes always revealing themselves to individuals with such bad cameras?

You'd think a species that can travel along solar systems would have perfected the art of the press conference first.
posted by ersatz at 6:50 AM on March 15

2. ??????
3. Profit.
posted by seanyboy at 6:51 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

i don't know why they didn't call the cops - the police LOVE dealing with gnome cases especially if they're in gangs

surely you've heard the expression "be it error or rumble, there's no case like gnome"
posted by pyramid termite at 7:14 AM on March 15 [6 favorites]

Yes yes, it's fake, but that video still creeped me out!
posted by rottytooth at 7:19 AM on March 15

What DU said : they don't scream until they've made sure to get a really good shot? makes me join splatta's "it's a viral for something" theory-crowd. Something fishy about it.
posted by dabitch at 7:21 AM on March 15

Ay ay ay, un hobo malodoro!
posted by fleetmouse at 7:23 AM on March 15 [3 favorites]

For the record, I don't read boing boing. My life is not so small and empty that I need to spend it flagging something on Metafilter that I've read before somewhere else on the web. People such as jfrancis are the reason I (and I suspect a lot of other people) don't post more often to the blue.


posted by essexjan at 8:02 AM on March 15 [4 favorites]

They were sitting outside in the middle of the night to talk about their latest fishing trip?!?!?! If this is real those kids were out there getting high when it happened
posted by MNDZ at 8:04 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

Sounds like a Belgian.
posted by bepe at 8:11 AM on March 15

Ho hum. *cough*bullshit*cough*
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 8:17 AM on March 15

All this time I've been preparing for the inevitable zombie uprising. I've made no preparation for the end of the world if it is brought about by gnomes!

I have wasted my life.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:23 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

Ha Ha Ha, He He He, I'm a side-stepping gnome and you catch me!

(Well it just about scans...)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:24 AM on March 15

I think you are underestimating the power of Jesus, who can not only resurrect the dead but bring garden gnomes to life.
posted by kozad at 8:24 AM on March 15

Your First Name of: Gnome

Click here for a report on the impact your first and last names combined have on your life.
You will be amazed at our accuracy!

* Although the name Gnome creates the urge to understand others, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control.

* This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid and nervous system.

* Your name of Gnome gives you a highly sensitive, idealistic, and intuitive nature.

* You could be expressive and creative in the arts, music, or drama and you have a great desire to help others.

* Since you are not inclined to give due consideration to practical and business matters, you could miss out on reaching a level of financial success appropriate for your efforts and abilities.

* You feel and sense much that you do not fully understand, and you can be deeply influenced through the thoughts of others without realizing just how you are being affected.

* You are super-sensitive and intuitive.
posted by fleetmouse at 8:32 AM on March 15

Look, we're all clear on the fact that it's not really a "gnome". No-one needs any clarification on that point. But if the Sun's story is at all true then a whole village is scared to leave their homes at night, with one guy even saying "One of my friends was so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital" (though it's not clear to me what a hospital is supposed to do with a scared person) and it's interesting to see video of whatever they're scared of.
posted by creasy boy at 8:36 AM on March 15

David the Gnome got dark.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:40 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

People such as jfrancis are the reason I (and I suspect a lot of other people) don't post more often to the blue.

I think we should let jfrancis slide this time - I mean, he just got out of the joint this week and he's choosing to spend his newly-acquired free time to comment on Metafilter.
posted by Item at 8:42 AM on March 15

* You are super-sensitive and intuitive.

I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT, YET I CAN'T STOP CRYING
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:46 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

Don't Look Now

Just don't approach "the gnome" and you will survive.
posted by mrmojoflying at 8:58 AM on March 15

Like you guys don't have side stepping hobbits where you live.
posted by curlyelk at 9:03 AM on March 15

Look, we're all clear on the fact that it's not really a "gnome".

Whatever. If it's not a real gnome than explain the pointy hat.

... Yeah, didn't think so.
posted by dgaicun at 9:07 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

With a nod to Astro Zombie, and an apology to Robert Frost:

Some say the world will end in zombies,
Some say in gnomes.
From what I’ve tasted of brains
I hold with those who favor zombies.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of fear
To know that for scaring teenagers gnomes
Are also great
And would work in a pinch.
posted by mosk at 9:22 AM on March 15 [6 favorites]

It was me. I'm a pig on two hooves. Sometimes I sleepwalk. Excuse the fuss, I really meant no harm. I'm glad to see I was wearing pants this time.
posted by valentinepig at 9:28 AM on March 15

So, some poor, possibly handicapped "little person" lives in a repressive, undereducated society somewhere.

Understandably, said person doesn't like to go out during the day. Develops coping mechanism, which is rock-throwing and wearing a hooded costume while sneaking about at night.


The film, as they say? No, not at eleven. On YouTube.
posted by loquacious at 9:30 AM on March 15

Last night I had a dream that I was a gnome! No joke! Letmetellyouallaboutmydream.

I didn't start out as a gnome, though. I was leading this very Gygaxian sort of army brigade - lots of elves and half-orcs and what not. Eventually, I attained the rank of "captain" and I received a special pet cat. But wait! My superior told me that because of my new rank, I could at will transform into a very small gnome (replete with tiny pointed hat) and ride my new cat as a mount! The cat was an ordinary cat, but with a little saddle and harness. And the cat knew about a dozen commands - it could jump, turn left or right, climb on things, or attack with its front paws. So I turned into a gnome and rode my cat behind enemy lines to scout out the enemy territory - we climbed up into a tree and spied on them. It was awesome! Kind of hard to hold on while the cat was jumping from limb to limb, but otherwise completely awesome.

Man. That was the best dream.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:38 AM on March 15 [3 favorites]

The Teifling is scarier than the Gnome.
posted by SPrintF at 9:40 AM on March 15

Y'all just know it's a monkey in a hat. One creepy fucking monkey.
posted by malaprohibita at 9:44 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

I've had enough of scary evil monkeys recently.
posted by dabitch at 9:53 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

When I saw the headline, I immediately thought of this video.
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:55 AM on March 15

My link didn't work, sorry.
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:56 AM on March 15

Completely awesome! Best thing I've seen in days. But then I've also taken a boat out onto Loch Ness and dangled my feet in the water just to taunt the beast! (That shit was cold.)
posted by kimdog at 10:11 AM on March 15

Holy crap, Oriole. Just...I....

Wow.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:15 AM on March 15

They try to make me go to rehab
And I say gnome, gnome, gnome.
posted by moonbird at 10:20 AM on March 15

Cute. DU said it first about "frame the shot, get a clear picture, THEN scream and run". It's a generation of amateur (?) videographers raised on Blair Witch.

On meta-Meta: I have also griped about something being old news a couple times, but refusing to discuss something in the blue simply because it's been on BoingBoing or Digg or whatever is lame, though. Best of the web != first of the web.

Some of us are here for the discussion/commentary that follows, too, which is generally better than those other places, and certainly wasn't "there" first. We're not all here for the BIG PAGE OF LINKS.
posted by rokusan at 10:24 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

Also, Oriole's link made me dad. Please don't do that. :(
posted by rokusan at 10:25 AM on March 15

Err.... sad. :)
posted by rokusan at 10:25 AM on March 15

Nerd build little robot, builds a gnome-looking shell for it, uses it to terrorise ya'll's neighborhood.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:38 AM on March 15

Maybe the mods can add a "disturbing" warning to my video link?
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:08 AM on March 15

Even if it is a fake, producing a video so convincing and creepy is gnome mean feat.
posted by Flashman at 11:41 AM on March 15

I have a strong urge to punt that gnome.
posted by dasheekeejones at 12:33 PM on March 15

Gnome matter what, I think this post is short on content; it sidesteps the the little things and it is certainly a low point. Other posts really dwarf this one. I wouldn't midget it, because I don't want to stoop down to your level, but being a wise ass is a bad hobbit of mine...


ok ok, I'm leaving...stop throwing rocks at me.
posted by fuq at 1:17 PM on March 15

It's the dude from Willow, pissed off and trying to ask me to dance! Nooooo! Not again!
posted by miss lynnster at 1:58 PM on March 15

Metafilter:...be an ass just because you can.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:12 PM on March 15

Psh, I saw this on my salvia trip last week.
posted by naju at 3:21 PM on March 15

Damn insensitive Argentine villagers. The gnome just wants to line-dance with them. He tries to start the party, and they freak out.

Jerks.
posted by CKmtl at 5:33 PM on March 15

Hay una version de la cancion Short People en espanol?

Tal vez sea la razon el gnome sea enojado.
posted by jason's_planet at 6:06 PM on March 15

Yo, man, that shit is fake, gnome sayin'?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:36 PM on March 15

When I was a kid my family used to visit my aunt's place. They had a long, wooded property that sloped down toward the sea. You could look out over a cliff at the ocean and could hear the freight trains as they passed along the track bordering the shore below.

There were greenhouses and flower gardens on the property, and birdfeeders filled with swampy green water. All of us played croquet on the green, green lawn near the house, but it was fun to wander down to the end of the property, along the path of crushed white stone, through small groves of bamboo trees.

One day, when I was five or six, I wandered by myself toward the cliff, in hopes of hearing (or maybe seeing) a freight train. Out of sight of the others, I heard a sound in the bushes. A dark, furry shape appeared, about my size (the size of a child) and slowly slunk across the path, about twenty feet in front of me.

I ran up to tell the others what I had seen.

They phoned the police. It turns out a starlet was visiting the beachside town where my aunt lived, and was staying next door. The dark, furry shape was her Bonobo chimpanzee. It had escaped and became lost. And I had found it.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:13 PM on March 15 [5 favorites]

Oh come on, everyone. This is clearly the next phase for the Gnome Liberation Front.
posted by Zinger at 8:41 PM on March 15 [2 favorites]

What's next - pursued by a tiny KDE?
posted by ikkyu2 at 10:49 PM on March 15 [4 favorites]

It turns out a starlet was visiting the beachside town where my aunt lived, and was staying next door. The dark, furry shape was her Bonobo chimpanzee.

What starlet?
posted by dgaicun at 7:29 PM on March 16

The dark, furry shape was her Bonobo chimpanzee. It had escaped and became lost. And I had found it.

This kinda sounds like the beginning of some kind of Penthouse Forum letter: "I never thought this would happen to me..."
posted by miss lynnster at 8:02 PM on March 16

The Goddess Bunny, as seen on Metafilter.
posted by asok at 4:30 AM on March 17