Judge: Tell me, Mr Chrysler, do these businessmen of yours also have Gideon Bibles by their bedside at home?
Chrysler: Many of them, sir.
Judge: And where do you get the Gideon Bibles from?
Chrysler: Alas, they, too, have to be taken from hotels.
Judge: Then why are you not also up on a charge of Bible-stealing?
Chrysler: Because the Bibles do not belong to the hotels. They belong to the Gideon Society. And the Gideon Society has decided not to prosecute me, but to forgive me and tell me to go and sin no more.
Judge: And have you sinned no more?
Chrysler: Alas, no.
out of about 660K total words [at Metafilter], [I had] 412 fucks, 335 fuckings, 46 fuckin's, 40 fuckeds, 23 fuckwits, 16 fuckers and fuckses both, 13 fuckerses and motherfuckers, 8 fuckwitses, 7 clusterfucks, 6 fuckheads, 5 fuckstickses and mothefuckerses, 4 chicken-fuckings and fuckalls and fuckerys and fuckos.
Also, 3 fucked-ups, fuckoses, fucktards, motherfuckings, skullfucks and unfucks; 2 +fucks, chickenfuckings (curious hyphenation duality, sir), fishfuckers, fuckalls, fuckfaces, fuckitys, fuckins, fuckitys, fuckloads, fucknozzles, fucksakeses, fucksticks, pigfuckses, scumfuckses and whogivesafuckistans.
And each of these are stavrosian fuckish hapex legomena: a-fuckin-men, a-fucking-gain, a-fucking-men, anti-fuck, anyfuckingthing, boo-fucking-hoo, bugfuck, bumblefuckery, child-fuckers, cou-fucking-rant, dog-fucking, dogfucker, donkeyfuck, dumbfuck, dumbfucker, everysinglefuckingissue, father-fucking, fuck-band, fuck-bands, fuck-ups, fuck-wit, fuckamericametafiltercom, fuckbag, fuckers'll, fuckheads, fuckingfilter, fuckjuice-typhoon, fuckknuckles, fucknards, fucknozzles, fucknuckle, fucknugget, fucknut, fuckoff, fuckpig, fuckpiggery, fuckr, fucks-per-minute, fuckswizzle, fuckswizzles, fucktacular, fucktards, fucktastic, fuckton, fucktrolliconica, fuckufuckme, fuckyou, horsefucker, klusterfuck, mothafucka, mothefuckin', motherfucktards, murder-fuck, nicky-fucking-new-guy, nunfucker, pigfuck, shitfucks, shutthefuckup, skull-fuck, skull-fucking, somefucking, somethingorfuckingother, un-fucking-believable, wegiveafuckistan, weirdo-fucknard, what-fucking-ever, whateverthefuck, and, auspiciously, whelk-fuckers.
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