With apologies to Mrs. B.J. Smegma of 13, The Cresent, Belmont.

March 20, 2008 8:11 PM

Controlled Safety Test Fireworks Videos : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
posted by Dave Faris (35 comments total)

Wow, these are surprisingly great. Needs more slow motion, however.
posted by nitsuj at 8:25 PM on March 20, 2008

And now for something completely different, How Not To Be Seen.
(on link 7)
posted by Balisong at 8:26 PM on March 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

Dave, thanks. Fuck, this is good.
posted by BeerFilter at 8:28 PM on March 20, 2008

People were paid to do these.

Now I know exactly what job I wish I had had all this time.
posted by yhbc at 8:30 PM on March 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

God, explosions are awesome.
posted by empath at 8:34 PM on March 20, 2008

...aimed at gaining a better understanding of the critical conditions that give rise to explosions in fireworks transport and storage my foot!

This is just a bunch of out-of-control pyro boys with funding from four governments to fuel their lunacy!
posted by squalor at 8:36 PM on March 20, 2008

Yeah, I can just see them giving the report on this.

"Alright, gentlemen. What are your findings?"

*Lead inspector shifts uncomfortably and clears his throat*

"They, um... blow up?"
posted by shinji_ikari at 8:45 PM on March 20, 2008 [2 favorites]

OH WHAT A WASTE WHY ARE THEY NOT FILMING THOSE AT NIGHT!?

Err, I mean, good show! Fireworks sure are dangerous! I'm glad professionals are on the job testing these things.

Also, I think maybe they should fill up one of them containers, strap it together real good, poke a good sized hole in one of the doors, tip it up on end and light the bottom and see if it takes off like one giant A-Team style bottle rocket from hell.

Next up, filling a flimsy steel container with loose gunpowder and various powdered flammable items and lighting it on fire causes massive "unit failure" by way of "explosions"? Who knew?
posted by loquacious at 8:46 PM on March 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

3.2 million firecrackers.
posted by loquacious at 8:49 PM on March 20, 2008

I am become death, destroyer of worlds.

Neato!
posted by the other side at 8:51 PM on March 20, 2008 [2 favorites]

I love that the acronym for the German agency involved is "BAM."
posted by jedicus at 8:55 PM on March 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

And this is what happens when you decide to blow up a whale.
posted by Xoc at 9:05 PM on March 20, 2008

one of these videos is not like the others
posted by b1tr0t at 9:05 PM on March 20, 2008

#4 starts deceptively slow, but it's the best one. Holy crap.
posted by AstroGuy at 9:08 PM on March 20, 2008 [2 favorites]

3.2 million firecrackers.

As if 3.2 million firecrackers weren't enough, they added an additional explosion to the end, didn't they?
posted by Dave Faris at 9:08 PM on March 20, 2008

I was hoping for something completely different!
posted by ericost at 9:12 PM on March 20, 2008

Mother, Mary And joseph, this is waaaay cool!
posted by birdhaus at 9:37 PM on March 20, 2008

What flew by the camera 20 seconds into video 5?

It came way after the explosion..
posted by Lord_Pall at 9:41 PM on March 20, 2008

This is just a bunch of out-of-control AWESOME pyro boys with funding from four AWESOME governments to fuel their lunacy! AWESOMINITY!!!
posted by dirigibleman at 9:47 PM on March 20, 2008

What flew by the camera 20 seconds into video 5?

It came way after the explosion..

Pyrospooge.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:47 PM on March 20, 2008

Number four is terrifying. Excellent find.
posted by gsteff at 10:03 PM on March 20, 2008

#6 is exceptionally sweet. Fun stuff.
posted by slogger at 10:27 PM on March 20, 2008

i popped a zit once that looked like #4
posted by sexyrobot at 10:31 PM on March 20, 2008

I gotta get my pyro license.
I am in Texas for goodness sakes, it can't be that hard.
posted by Faux Real at 11:10 PM on March 20, 2008

Completely irresponsible, testosterone infused pyro-fuckery.

God damn that was awesome! I so have to take a drive to Indiana and get the good shit now.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:22 AM on March 21, 2008

I haven't seen such rave mefi comments since the last post about bacon. Explosions and bacon seem to do it for this crowd.

Having said that, this was pretty great.
posted by PM at 1:16 AM on March 21, 2008

squalor writes "This is just a bunch of out-of-control pyro boys with funding from four governments to fuel their lunacy!"

You don't be so harsh on Department of Defense, you insensitive clod! *snif*. Leave them alone!
posted by elpapacito at 2:50 AM on March 21, 2008

The website of the research programme.
posted by jouke at 3:57 AM on March 21, 2008

WEEEEEE! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!

This makes my inner child gleefully happy.
posted by grefo at 4:34 AM on March 21, 2008

I am going to show this to all my kid clients, not for the "now, you know you shouldn't play with fireworks, little Jonny" factor but for the "holy shit let's watch explosions" factor. Great find Dave, favorite indeed. Oh, and kinda related but kinda not, here is a DIY glow in the dark tomato.
posted by moonbird at 5:56 AM on March 21, 2008

They forgot to conduct the toilet tests.
posted by mr. creosote at 7:20 AM on March 21, 2008

A whole factory.
posted by so_necessary at 9:51 AM on March 21, 2008

I love this. My co-workers think I am so cool, digging this shit up.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 10:42 AM on March 21, 2008

That blew up real good!
posted by shinybeast at 12:47 PM on March 21, 2008

3.2 million firecrackers.

Novices.

10,500,000 Firecrackers!!

(helpful viewing tip: it's more exciting if you imagine the residents of Appleton, WI gathered for the official opening of the Fox River Valley Portal to Hell)
posted by prinado at 11:39 PM on March 21, 2008