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There are no Escalators in Wyoming.
March 27, 2008 12:39 PM   Subscribe

Wonkette asks: How many Escalators are there in Wyoming?

There appears to be a plethora of supporting evidence that in fact, there are no escalators in Wyoming.
posted by Lord_Pall (112 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'm so sick of posts that perpetuate ridiculous urban legends like "Wyoming has people."
posted by Someone has just shot your horse! at 12:43 PM on March 27, 2008 [21 favorites]


Why am I not surprised?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:44 PM on March 27, 2008


Why would a movie set need an escalator?
posted by pwally at 12:45 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


There are, however, plenty of Escalades.
posted by Bromius at 12:47 PM on March 27, 2008


there are no escalators in Wyoming.

Much to the disappointment of the state's many Slinky™ owners.
posted by bondcliff at 12:49 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


What about grain elevators?

And seriously, why no IHOPS in Vermont?!
posted by not_on_display at 12:52 PM on March 27, 2008


If I recall correct-like, the First Intersate Bank at 104 S. Wolcott in Casper has an escalator.
posted by nomuse at 12:55 PM on March 27, 2008


As I recall, the one at the First Intersate Bank at 104 S. Wolcott in Casper only goes down, so, properly, it's a declinator, not an escalator.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:58 PM on March 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


Oh, sure, if you count Casper.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 12:58 PM on March 27, 2008


If I recall correct-like, the First Intersate Bank at 104 S. Wolcott in Casper has an escalator.

You recall wrong, Friend-o.
posted by kbanas at 12:58 PM on March 27, 2008 [4 favorites]


P.S. I have no idea, you might be right.
posted by kbanas at 12:59 PM on March 27, 2008


Clearly someone is going to have to go to Casper to settle this.

This may take some time.
posted by yhbc at 1:00 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


If the people in Wyoming had cameras, we could get photographic evidence. However, it is widely known that there are no cameras in Wyoming.
posted by R. Mutt at 1:01 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Is this a Fermi Question or something?
posted by growli at 1:05 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


That's because escalators are antithetical to the strong independent streak that people living in Wyoming have from birth:

"You are trying to force me to go up? Fuck that!"

This is usually followed by a steady 1000 yard stare and a long pull on some kind of grain alcohol.

Never mess with someone from Wyoming about their ability to go up or down at will. It will end badly.
posted by quin at 1:07 PM on March 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


The long-closed Miller and Paine department store in downtown Lincoln, Nebraska featured 6-8 floors of shopping and had escalators. At state high school basketball tournament time when I lived in Lincoln (1980s), kids from the tiny towns of outstate Nebraska would go to Miller and Paine to ride the escalators. Even to a small-town New Yorker like myself that was such an eye-opener to how people's experiences growing up differed across the country.
posted by plastic_animals at 1:07 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


I never understood the point of escalators. Have stairs and an elevator and be done with it.
posted by agregoli at 1:11 PM on March 27, 2008


If the people in Wyoming had cameras, we could get photographic evidence. However, it is widely known that there are no cameras in Wyoming.

I knew there was something that made us better than them.
posted by cortex at 1:11 PM on March 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


This is fantastic. Even to reasonably "North-America-aware" European ears, a state like Wyoming always seemed a bit of an exotic place - if not in the coconuts-and-ukuleles sense then at least in a general, "what *is* there?" way.

Usually, the more you learn the more you have to adjust you world view. In this case, well it's nice to see your lazy preconceptions reinforced once in a while.

So, how about lifts (elevators)? Any of those?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:11 PM on March 27, 2008


...kids from the tiny towns of outstate Nebraska would go to Miller and Paine to ride the escalators.

Mommy, mommy, can we, can we, please. I don't cost nuthin' and we can ride all day! Please, please.
posted by ericb at 1:13 PM on March 27, 2008


Wyoming out of order
Temporarily Colorado
Sorry for the convenience
posted by infinitewindow at 1:15 PM on March 27, 2008 [11 favorites]


My son will be stationed in Wyoming after he graduates-I can tell you that they have an Air Force base there.

And a lot of nuclear missiles, I gather. Don't think I'd be dissing THAT state, boys.
posted by konolia at 1:15 PM on March 27, 2008


I would like to know if there is a Waffle House in Washington, DC
posted by parmanparman at 1:15 PM on March 27, 2008


Wyoming: Home of the Casper Ghosts, "the only team in Minor League Baseball to wear glow-in-the-dark caps."
posted by ericb at 1:17 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


There are no cowboys in Dallas.
posted by item at 1:19 PM on March 27, 2008


66924 MeFi members, sure there's ought to be one living in Wyoming, right? Right?
posted by dov3 at 1:22 PM on March 27, 2008


...not in the off season, anyway. Because whoTF would want to live in Texas?

I once made the mistake of going to San Antonio, came back nearly dead.
posted by SlyBevel at 1:23 PM on March 27, 2008


Well, at least some Wyoming residents thought this was true as recently as 2002.
posted by cerebus19 at 1:24 PM on March 27, 2008


I grew up in Wyoming, travelled all over the state, went to college there and I never saw an escalator the whole time.
posted by split atom at 1:24 PM on March 27, 2008


There are no escalators in Wyoming because there is no Wyoming.

I don't believe in Wyoming. I have a number of reasons for this including:

1. Dick Cheney is from Wyoming.
2. There are no hot topics in Wyoming Wrong. I guess one "opened up" there in the last few years.
3. Garfield told me there was no Wyoming when I was a child.
posted by frecklefaerie at 1:24 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh. Oops. Didn't read the More Inside. Never mind me.
posted by cerebus19 at 1:24 PM on March 27, 2008


Oh, and HC Foo is from the big WY. I'll ask him about this later. He gets out there a lot.
posted by SlyBevel at 1:24 PM on March 27, 2008


It's probably because they use jet packs to launch themselves to a different level.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:25 PM on March 27, 2008


Wyoming Quick Facts.
posted by R. Mutt at 1:26 PM on March 27, 2008


Damn, I oopsed the link to HC Foo above.

Anyway, just got off the phone with him. He says he's not aware of any, but there may be one or two he missed in Casper or Cheyenne.
posted by SlyBevel at 1:27 PM on March 27, 2008


so, properly, it's a declinator, not an escalator

Goes up: excalator.
Goes down: declinatrix.

What, are you a Wyoman?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:28 PM on March 27, 2008


Ah hah! Found one! Search on this page for "escalator." It says, about Jackson Hole, "its [sic] home to the only escalator (its broken) in WY."
posted by cerebus19 at 1:32 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


See also: There are no pianos in Japan.
posted by everichon at 1:34 PM on March 27, 2008


But a broken escalator is not an escalator, it is a set of stairs.
posted by R. Mutt at 1:34 PM on March 27, 2008 [7 favorites]


We're all aware that "declinatrix" makes it female, right? I shudder to think, after seeing how those things mangle Crocs.
posted by SlyBevel at 1:35 PM on March 27, 2008


This brings back some memories, as I thought of this in 1984 with reference to Montana. My first plane ride out of the state took me to LAX where the escalators BLEW MY MIND and made me feel like I came from Mayberry R.F.D.

The same situation may hold true of Montana, but I don't know for sure. Please enlighten.
posted by Tube at 1:35 PM on March 27, 2008


R. Mutt: It was broken in 2005. It may have been fixed sometime in the three years since.
posted by cerebus19 at 1:36 PM on March 27, 2008


I'm not sure why this is a big deal. I'm sure that great swaths of North America are escalator-free. I'd have to drive three hours to reach an escalator and I'm not at all in the middle of nowhere.
posted by ssg at 1:37 PM on March 27, 2008


Here's a relevant excerpt from the short story "Stairs that Move" by E. Annie Proulx, from the collection Close Range:

Natrona County sheriff's deputy Barn Hickman's face screwed taut, the sinews in his neck like iron bands. He tossed back another ounce of Wild Turkey and glared. His nostrils dilated.

"Hell you call it? Exlator?"

Dub Varney nodded once, giving his glazed, china white pate a wipe with his nicotine-stained fingers.

"Exlator. All 'lectric. Suit man up from Denver says you don't even have to move, 'cept for a little step at the start 'n end. Gonna be one in the new Sears."

"Denver?"

"Denver."

Hickman's red vinyl barstoool squeaked as he swiveled around. He stared out the wide saloon windows, past the "rab s'yllaS" to the beige building under construction across the brick-paved street. The capital S across the street lined up with Sally's, overshadowed it. Nodding to Dub for the last time, Hickman reclined, unholstered his revolver, placed the barrel to his temple and squeezed the trigger.
posted by cog_nate at 1:38 PM on March 27, 2008 [8 favorites]


Further: I can say with unfeigned sincerity that there are no escalators in any pianos.
posted by everichon at 1:39 PM on March 27, 2008


But a broken escalator is not an escalator, it is a set of stairs.

By the same token, every staircase is just an escalator waiting to happen.

Wyoming is on verge, man.
posted by cortex at 1:39 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Technically, Dick Cheney was born in Nebraska but began his political career in Wyoming. This suggests that the young Cheney alone was not the problem. Rather, the combination of Cheney + politics sent an atmospheric shock wave through the state of Wyoming -- the effects of which are apparent to this day in the state's distressing and unnatural lack of escalators.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:39 PM on March 27, 2008


I spent a week in Atlanta once and I've never seen or ridden so many escalators in my life, including one freakishly long one at a downtown MARTA station.
I don't think they climb stairs in Atlanta, which probably has something to do with the hellish humidity.
posted by rocket88 at 1:41 PM on March 27, 2008


I grew up in Wyoming. Rarely left the state until my teens. And I don't remember having a moment where I said, OH-MY-GOD it's a REAL ESCALATOR! Upon thinking about it, I'm pretty sure that the Casper airport has a very short escalator.

You know, we could actually turn this into a serious discussion why there are none. Bring in data about the youth leaving the state and how few white collar jobs there are. Talk about the gentrification of rural farm land and a real estate boom that encourages retirees and rich folk. Argue about whether or not there is enough water for all of these people in a grow outward not upward culture. Speak of a job market that is rooted in energy booms, the service industry, and tourism.

Or we could laugh. Because this post is hilarious!

Also, the Billings airport as well has some escalators, for the Montana curious.
posted by barchan at 1:44 PM on March 27, 2008 [5 favorites]


So? I don't have an escalator in my car either. I hear there's no internet in my bathroom either. Does that make me a monster? DOES IT?!?!?!
posted by blue_beetle at 1:45 PM on March 27, 2008


New Yorkers, on the other hand tend to walk up or more commonly, down escalators, as if they were using the stairs. People who assume that standing/riding place on the left hand side of the escalator is ok get some icy stares for clogging up the passing lane.
posted by R. Mutt at 1:48 PM on March 27, 2008


You don't have internet in your bathroom?
WTF?
posted by Dizzy at 1:50 PM on March 27, 2008


Geez, man, I'm from Wyoming and even I have internet in my bathroom. The horror!
posted by barchan at 1:52 PM on March 27, 2008


If anyone wants to check the Casper Airport (aka Natrona County International) lead, the number for the airport manager there is 307-472-6688.
posted by jedicus at 1:54 PM on March 27, 2008


I tried calling but the secretary said the guy is taking a leak while checking his G-Mail.
posted by Dizzy at 1:57 PM on March 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


New Yorkers, on the other hand tend to walk up or more commonly, down escalators, as if they were using the stairs. People who assume that standing/riding place on the left hand side of the escalator is ok get some icy stares for clogging up the passing lane.

I'm generally not a violent person but nothing brings out the rage in me like people who stand still on escalators. It's as if just by stepping on the thing they forget how to use their legs. Moving sidewalks and escalators are there to help you walk faster, not keep you from walking altogether.

Sez me, anyway.
posted by bondcliff at 1:58 PM on March 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


I feel the same way about chairs.
posted by Dizzy at 1:59 PM on March 27, 2008


One day Wyoming will kill us all. Escalators are the least of the state's problems.
posted by humanfont at 2:01 PM on March 27, 2008


I don't know if they used it in the final edit, but when my girlfriend and I did Instant Fashion Show, or whatever the hell that show is called, we wasted precious minutes standing on a broken escalator and screaming for help.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:03 PM on March 27, 2008


Just asked my dad, and his reply was, "Why in hell would Wyoming want one? They're for people who go too fast."

*dissolved into giggles at the thought of everyone calling the Casper Airport.* Excuse me, sir, do you have an escalator? Is it running? Then you better catch it!
posted by barchan at 2:08 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


So in Wyoming, would The Mezzanine be shelved in science fiction?
posted by hydrophonic at 2:13 PM on March 27, 2008


Shortly after graduating from college, my girlfriend and I found ourselves living in separate states - she in Colorado and me in Montana. Since these states were fairly large, we decided that the proper, if not romantic, thing to do would be to meet up in the middle. So every few weeks, we'd both drive for many hours and spend a pleasant weekend in Wyoming. After checking out a few different towns (tips: try the onion rings at Sanford's Grub & pub, stay at a motel made from a flour mill), we ended up staying more and more around Thermopolis. Upside: free hot springs and a nice dinosaur museum. Downside: not the sort of place you want to lock your keys in your car thirty miles from town without a cell phone. Anyway, I just meant to say I never saw any inclinators or escalators. I did see a lot of antelope so it all worked out.
posted by Staggering Jack at 2:23 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


hyrophonic, you have just made Soul Coughing's lyrics even more literary for me.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 2:28 PM on March 27, 2008


I'd have to drive three hours to reach an escalator and I'm not at all in the middle of nowhere.
posted by ssg at 1:37 PM on March 27 [


Ok...if you say so...
posted by vacapinta at 2:28 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is one of those Wyoming factoids they trot out for you when you're new to the state. I transplanted to Laramie after college because my wife's family lived there. I slowly grew to hate the town (and the state to some degree) over the next five years for reasons I won't get into, but here are some other bits of Wyoming Lore I heard:

1. The tallest buildings in the state are the 5(?) story dorm buildings on the UW campus.

2. Wyoming was the first state to give women the right to vote, often said in a "look, Wyoming ain't all backwards" kind of way (What they don't say is, this passed because without it, Wyoming couldn't meet the minimum population requirements for statehood!)

3. Vedawoo, a popular recreation area of wild-carved stone just outside Laramie on I-25, is a Native American word tath means "earth spirits." According to a professor I spoke with, this is baloney and Vedawoo is a word made up to sound Native American.

Ahh, Wyoming. I wished I knew how to quit you, and it turned out, moving to Colorado worked great.
posted by JeremyT at 2:30 PM on March 27, 2008 [5 favorites]


Wyoming exists, but it chooses to remain anonymous- that's why it's rectangular.
posted by Lord Kinbote at 2:38 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


JeremyT -- The tallest buildings in the state are the dorm buildings at UW, but they are 13 stories.
posted by split atom at 2:40 PM on March 27, 2008


Naw, that's just 2.6 dorms stacked up special for the folks from that Guinness book.
posted by cortex at 2:43 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Thanks, split atom. I couldn't remember and I can no longer look out my office window and count them.
posted by JeremyT at 2:43 PM on March 27, 2008


I did a search for wyoming escalator on Flickr, and got exactly one result -- though as the single hit is titled Up the Down Escalator, it appears that once again, we're dealing with a declinator and not a true escalator.
posted by djwudi at 2:48 PM on March 27, 2008


Wyoming exists, but it chooses to remain anonymous

I don't believe you. Sure, it's on the map, but have any of you ever been there? Ever met anyone from there? No. It doesn't exist. I suspect that that area of the country is being used for some kind of horrible government mind control/genetic super-soldier engineering/alien dissection/etc. activities and "Wyoming" is simply the cover story. Prove me wrong.
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:59 PM on March 27, 2008


I'm pretty sure the mall on the east edge of Casper has an escalator. I lived in Casper for a year.
posted by mike3k at 3:03 PM on March 27, 2008


Also, Dick Cheney claims to be from "Wyoming"! What does that tell you, huh? I'm telling you. Government horror factory. Some of you might claim to have driven through there or something. Simple explanation for that: government mind control nerve gas pumped into the atmosphere. All part of the conspiracy. What's Alex Jones' opinion on Wyoming, I wonder?

On preview:

I lived in Casper for a year

You're one of them! You're in on it! They've even infiltrated Metafilter now! Is nowhere safe?
posted by DecemberBoy at 3:05 PM on March 27, 2008


The last time I was in Casper was the summer of 1988, following my freshman year of college. My grandmother had just died, and my cousin was flying in from L.A. for the funeral.

My uncle asked -- demanded, really -- that I accompany him to the airport with him to pick up my cousin. The two of them didn't really get along (family rumor has it that when my cousin came out to L.A. in the '70s to pursue acting, it was my dad who paid his SAG initiation dues after my uncle refused), and so I realized in retrospect that my coming along was probably insurance against getting the two of them getting into a fight straight off the bat -- something even my hot-tempered uncle wanted to avoid, under the circumstances.

The flight from L.A. was delayed, so my uncle and I set up camp in the airport bar to wait. He had a Rob Roy, and then another, and so did I, being that the state drinking age in was 19 at the time -- and I, conveniently, was 19.

And so, for one of exactly two times in my life, my uncle and I actually spent some time together having a conversation. We didn't have much in common; he was an ex-military man, I was the music-crazy daughter of his kid brother, the artist. But we made the time pass. We drank our Rob Roys. He told some stories -- about life in Wyoming in the '40s and '50s, and his time in Vietnam in the '60s and '70s, and how things in the state seemed to go south after the oil and mining busts in the '80s. He was a sad guy, I started to see: his anger a cover for regret, his needling of my dad a cover for the envy that my dad had gone on to do what he wanted to do, while my uncle never had. I thought about the boarded-up service stations going pale in the harsh sun on the outskirts of town, and the long trains and vast skies, and the oil wells teething the plains, and I felt a rush of both relief and heartbreak to know that the time had come in my life that I'd only be coming back to Wyoming sporadically, and then eventually, not at all.

My cousin's plane finally came in, so my uncle and I walked over to the gate to meet him. And I -- loaded on scotch, and grieving my dead grandmother and lost childhood and a dying state, but also giddy at seeing my favorite cousin for the first time in a decade -- promptly lost my footing and slipped all the way to the bottom of the escalator in the Casper, Wyoming airport.
posted by scody at 3:19 PM on March 27, 2008 [96 favorites]


See? And that's why they don't have escalators in Wyoming. Thanks scody.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:41 PM on March 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'll take Yellowstone over an escalator any day.
posted by 445supermag at 3:44 PM on March 27, 2008


In Soviet Casper, Yellowstone takes escalator over YOU!
posted by cortex at 3:46 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


But a broken escalator is not an escalator, it is a set of stairs.

"Sorry for the convenience"
posted by jpdoane at 4:04 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Casper doesn't need escalators. He can float!

Why?

Ohming.
posted by not_on_display at 4:25 PM on March 27, 2008


Either the Frontier Mall in Cheyenne has escalators, or they want us to think they have escalators, because they're specifically mentioned in the Frontier Mall Code of Conduct (88K .PDF).

That's right, the mall has a code of conduct. Online.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:41 PM on March 27, 2008


OK, for fun I called the Frontier Mall, and the nice lady who answered the phone said they do not have escalators. I asked her if she knew of a building in town that had them, and she said no.

The plot thickens.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:45 PM on March 27, 2008


Thank you for the Fermi Question link, growli. In high school, my friends and I used to do these all the time on the bus ride home. I remember we computed the number of nickels it would take to fill up the moon at one point in time (don't remember the answer). Once someone had brought a model for some art project that had two tubes on it, vaguely resembling the barrels of a shotgun, so we calculated what its caliber would be (I think it was almost exactly 1).
posted by ErWenn at 4:50 PM on March 27, 2008


Rule 6 of the code of conduct was clearly thrown in as a gimme to boost test scores.
posted by cortex at 4:53 PM on March 27, 2008


I loved watching the Wyoming primary coverage on TV. Hillary, Bill and Barack were all sort of out of place, especially Bill Clinton who usually has tons of anecdotes and personal connections to whichever state he's in but he seemed a little lost for words in Wyoming, like he was thinking "Why am I here?"
posted by bobo123 at 5:06 PM on March 27, 2008


If the people in Wyoming had cameras, we could get photographic evidence

Well, you could prove that it was an escalator, but not that it was moving. Or, conversely, I could find a photo of a pair of stairs, and insist they were an escalator frozen in time, and could you really prove me wrong?
posted by smackfu at 5:17 PM on March 27, 2008


Number 14 of the Frontier Mall Code of Conduct seems to preclude me saying things like "This will wendell" at the Frontier Mall.
posted by everichon at 6:37 PM on March 27, 2008


I moved to a semi-rural town recently (not in Wyoming). Getting directions from someone to the doctor's office:
Helpful local: Oh, it's in that that real tall office building -- you know, on the corner of Smith St and Jones Ave?
Me: Uh... [not remembering such a building]
Helpful local: Well you'll see it when you get out there -- can't miss it. Tallest thing around.

So I drove out there, and drove past it, and circled back after a mile or so. It's a 3 story building.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:49 PM on March 27, 2008


Obviously, they have dismantled the escalator in the Casper, Wyoming airport since scody was there in 1988.

I prefer my archetypal Wyoming escalator-free, thank you.
posted by yhbc at 6:54 PM on March 27, 2008


Why is this not "lolhix" deleted? Is this some kind of Wyoming in-joke?
posted by Eideteker at 7:39 PM on March 27, 2008


Wyoming has no escalators because the average elevation exceeds 2 km, and there's no place to go but down.

When I moved to Colorado nine years ago, I wondered why the population of Wyoming was only about a tenth that of Colorado. Then we drove to Cheyenne one day and I understood.
posted by lukemeister at 7:44 PM on March 27, 2008


This is some kind of Wyoming in-joke. Of the three or so people I've met who I can remember disclosing that they were from Wyoming, all of them mentioned some mix of this escalator issue and the notion that Wyoming does not, in fact, exist.

You get the feeling that there's not a whole lot to do in Wyoming, somehow. But yeah, not so much LOLHICKS in my personal experience.
posted by cortex at 7:49 PM on March 27, 2008


You know, we could actually turn this into a serious discussion why there are none. Bring in data about the youth leaving the state and how few white collar jobs there are. Talk about the gentrification of rural farm land and a real estate boom that encourages retirees and rich folk. Argue about whether or not there is enough water for all of these people in a grow outward not upward culture. Speak of a job market that is rooted in energy booms, the service industry, and tourism.

Or we could laugh. Because this post is hilarious!


Perhaps I've been wrong to blindly follow the medical traditions and superstitions of past centuries. Maybe we barbers should test these assumptions analytically, through experimentation and a "scientific method". Maybe this scientific method could be extended to other fields of learning: the natural sciences, art, architecture, navigation. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! .. Nah.
posted by lukemeister at 7:50 PM on March 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Can the jackalope still be the official mythical creature of Wyoming if Wyoming itself is a myth?
posted by lukemeister at 7:53 PM on March 27, 2008


Among the mysterious places in Wyoming
-The Cirque of the Towers
-Nimerigar, the Little People
-Thermopolis
-Sinks Canyon
-Big Nose George
-Hell's Half Acre
posted by humanfont at 8:27 PM on March 27, 2008 [4 favorites]


I would hazard to guess that if you take the non-existence of Wyoming as one of your basic premises in ANY philosophical proof it would render moot any discussion about the existence or non-existence of mythical (or non-mythical) creatures and/or structures and/or conveyances and/or secret-military-industrial-alien-agro-plants.

But, that would take all the fun out of it.


So... the Jackalope is a meta-myth in Wyoming and perfectly reasonable and everyday myth everywhere else... Except on any bicycle suspension fork made by the SRAM suspension group known as Rock Shox. Doubt me? Just go look on the rebound damper knob, you'll find it at the bottom of the right-hand lowers leg.
posted by Sam.Burdick at 10:45 PM on March 27, 2008


*raises hand* I'm from Wyoming. I'm not sure if there is an escalator in the state. There isn't an escalator in Laramie.

And the Wyoming exists, but it chooses to remain anonymous line is actually quite accurate. This spring, when our Democratic caucus for the presidential nomination was important (for probably the only time ever), I was pretty sure that if the state could speak it would say, "Stop looking at me. Seriously. Why are you looking at me like that?"

I think the state motto should be changed to "Statistically Improbable."
posted by fontgoddess at 12:48 AM on March 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


I would hazard to guess that if you take the non-existence of Wyoming as one of your basic premises in ANY philosophical proof it would render moot any discussion about the existence or non-existence of mythical (or non-mythical) creatures and/or structures and/or conveyances and/or secret-military-industrial-alien-agro-plants.

Bosh! Flimshaw! You could use the same argument to suggest there is no Emerald City in the land of Oz, no lightsabers in Star Wars, that the sky in Neuromancer might as well have been the color of a strawberry yogurt tuned to A#. A myth is a world unto itself, by god, and nothing is mooted!

But, that would take all the fun out of it.

Exactly!
posted by cortex at 6:41 AM on March 28, 2008


So, um, now are there any escalators in Wyoming, or not? I will not rest before we get some closure on this, dammit.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:31 AM on March 28, 2008


All right, this thread has been a hoot and a holler.

However, it doesn't solve the mystery. I am 99% sure there are no escalators in Laramie or Cheyenne. I thought there might be one at the Casper Events Center, but the nice lady in Administration there said no.

She did say that there is an escalator in the First Interstate Bank building, and a quick call there confirmed they have one. She also said that Hilltop National bank has one, and they also confirm that their Country Club Road location is so equipped.

I will not attempt to prove that Wyoming does exist as a place (though I was there last weekend) but will settle on establishing that Wonkette is wrong on this subject.
posted by jazon at 11:57 AM on March 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


jazon: will settle on establishing that Wonkette is wrong

And along with the jokes and stories, that also makes my day.
posted by mrzarquon at 1:02 PM on March 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I spent a week in Atlanta once and I've never seen or ridden so many escalators in my life, including one freakishly long one at a downtown MARTA station.
I don't think they climb stairs in Atlanta, which probably has something to do with the hellish humidity.
posted by rocket88 at 4:41 PM on March 27


"Stairs"? Are those like broken escalators? <confused Atlantan>

How do people in Wyoming -- assuming there are people in Wyoming, a leap of faith -- get from one storey to another? Do they have climbing walls?
posted by notashroom at 2:29 PM on March 28, 2008


We used to live in Casper - it's where my wife is from, in a transplanted-from-San-Diego sort of way.

Her aunt ran the only Japanese restaurant in the state, which was open for 3 hours every Thursday night. Great food.

Living out there for a while was definitely an eye-opening experience to the Western mentality.
posted by EricGjerde at 4:10 PM on March 28, 2008


EricGjerde: Her aunt ran the only Japanese restaurant in the state, which was open for 3 hours every Thursday night. Great food.

It was only open for 3 hours once a week?
posted by mrzarquon at 5:03 PM on March 28, 2008


Talk about exclusive!
posted by Dizzy at 5:42 PM on March 28, 2008


"How do people in Wyoming -- assuming there are people in Wyoming, a leap of faith -- get from one storey to another?"

Look, Wyoming is over 97,000 square miles and has just over a half-million residents. Why the hell would there be buildings more than one story high?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:13 PM on March 28, 2008


Well, I know one place they could certainly use an escalator.
posted by stargell at 6:39 PM on March 28, 2008


Look, Wyoming is over 97,000 square miles and has just over a half-million residents. Why the hell would there be buildings more than one story high?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:13 PM on March 28


Because of the terrorists? To keep horses out of the bedroom? A basement, in case of tornadoes? Er ... never mind.
posted by notashroom at 8:17 PM on March 28, 2008


I have confirmation from the TSA (okay, actually my friend who's a screener at the Laramie airport) that the Casper Airport does not have an escalator. But it's nice to know that escalator aficionados in Casper have escalator options. Thanks, jazon!

I'm still going to check on Jackson Hole. Because doing a Wyoming escalator census is awesome in so many ways.
posted by fontgoddess at 10:11 PM on March 28, 2008


And, regarding Japanese food in Wyoming, there are sushi restaurants in Laramie and Cheyenne (as well as at least three other places in Laramie where one can get sushi) and there has been a Japanese restaurant called the Teriyaki Bowl in Laramie (in a former Long John Silver's location) for ten years or more.

Plus, a Thai restaurant just opened in Laramie (just half a block from the vegetarian restaurant) and it was packed tonight. Laramie: the Boulder of Wyoming (with a libertarian streak and more affordable housing).

We have plenty of multi-story buildings, although with strong winds and a lot of room to spread out, there will never be really tall buildings. Also, tall buildings are less cool when you can climb a mountain instead.

And, lest you think we are totally backwards, Wyoming is totally on top of sustainable agriculture [disclosure: this is what my dad does. I grew up going on grass tours (this kind [pdf link], not this kind)].
posted by fontgoddess at 11:00 PM on March 28, 2008


Notashroom: How do people in Wyoming -- assuming there are people in Wyoming, a leap of faith -- get from one storey to another? Do they have climbing walls?

They make leaps of faith. Much, much faster than any of the other options.
posted by schyler523 at 12:41 PM on March 29, 2008


I've found out that Alaska has escalators, just in case someone was wondering about that state.
posted by fontgoddess at 12:14 PM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Informational note: when starting research that involves calling people to ask what they know about Wyoming escalators, do not start on April 1.

I heard back from the State Fire Marshall's office today. We should have an exact escalator "headcount" by the end of next week.
posted by fontgoddess at 9:30 PM on April 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


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