Comments on: There are no Escalators in Wyoming.

There are no Escalators in Wyoming.

Lord_Pall — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:39:18 -0800

Wonkette asks: How many Escalators are there in Wyoming?

There appears to be a plethora of supporting evidence that in fact, there are no escalators in Wyoming.

By: Someone has just shot your horse!

Someone has just shot your horse! — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:43:30 -0800

I'm so sick of posts that perpetuate ridiculous urban legends like "Wyoming has people."

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:44:46 -0800

Why am I not surprised?

By: pwally

pwally — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:45:27 -0800

Why would a movie set need an escalator?

By: Bromius

Bromius — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:47:30 -0800

There are, however, plenty of Escalades.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:49:57 -0800

there are no escalators in Wyoming. Much to the disappointment of the state's many Slinky™ owners.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:52:01 -0800

What about grain elevators? And seriously, why no IHOPS in Vermont?!

By: nomuse

nomuse — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:55:48 -0800

If I recall correct-like, the First Intersate Bank at 104 S. Wolcott in Casper has an escalator.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:58:48 -0800

As I recall, the one at the First Intersate Bank at 104 S. Wolcott in Casper only goes down, so, properly, it's a declinator, not an escalator.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:58:56 -0800

Oh, sure, if you count Casper.

By: kbanas

kbanas — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:58:59 -0800

If I recall correct-like, the First Intersate Bank at 104 S. Wolcott in Casper has an escalator. You recall wrong, Friend-o.

By: kbanas

kbanas — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:59:23 -0800

P.S. I have no idea, you might be right.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:00:49 -0800

Clearly someone is going to have to go to Casper to settle this. This may take some time.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:01:58 -0800

If the people in Wyoming had cameras, we could get photographic evidence. However, it is widely known that there are no cameras in Wyoming.

By: growli

growli — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:05:53 -0800

Is this a Fermi Question or something?

By: quin

quin — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:07:36 -0800

That's because escalators are antithetical to the strong independent streak that people living in Wyoming have from birth: "You are trying to force me to go up? Fuck that!" This is usually followed by a steady 1000 yard stare and a long pull on some kind of grain alcohol. Never mess with someone from Wyoming about their ability to go up or down at will. It will end badly.

By: plastic_animals

plastic_animals — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:07:46 -0800

The long-closed Miller and Paine department store in downtown Lincoln, Nebraska featured 6-8 floors of shopping and had escalators. At state high school basketball tournament time when I lived in Lincoln (1980s), kids from the tiny towns of outstate Nebraska would go to Miller and Paine to ride the escalators. Even to a small-town New Yorker like myself that was such an eye-opener to how people's experiences growing up differed across the country.

By: agregoli

agregoli — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:11:02 -0800

I never understood the point of escalators. Have stairs and an elevator and be done with it.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:11:18 -0800

If the people in Wyoming had cameras, we could get photographic evidence. However, it is widely known that there are no cameras in Wyoming. I knew there was something that made us better than them.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:11:49 -0800

This is fantastic. Even to reasonably "North-America-aware" European ears, a state like Wyoming always seemed a bit of an exotic place - if not in the coconuts-and-ukuleles sense then at least in a general, "what *is* there?" way. Usually, the more you learn the more you have to adjust you world view. In this case, well it's nice to see your lazy preconceptions reinforced once in a while. So, how about lifts (elevators)? Any of those?

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:13:16 -0800

...kids from the tiny towns of outstate Nebraska would go to Miller and Paine to ride the escalators. Mommy, mommy, can we, can we, please. I don't cost nuthin' and we can ride all day! Please, please.

By: infinitewindow

infinitewindow — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:15:06 -0800

Wyoming out of order Temporarily Colorado Sorry for the convenience

By: konolia

konolia — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:15:49 -0800

My son will be stationed in Wyoming after he graduates-I can tell you that they have an Air Force base there. And a lot of nuclear missiles, I gather. Don't think I'd be dissing THAT state, boys.

By: parmanparman

parmanparman — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:15:53 -0800

I would like to know if there is a Waffle House in Washington, DC

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:17:54 -0800

Wyoming: Home of the Casper Ghosts, "the only team in Minor League Baseball to wear glow-in-the-dark caps."

By: item

item — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:19:41 -0800

There are no cowboys in Dallas.

By: dov3

dov3 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:22:47 -0800

66924 MeFi members, sure there's ought to be one living in Wyoming, right? Right?

By: SlyBevel

SlyBevel — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:23:42 -0800

...not in the off season, anyway. Because whoTF would want to live in Texas? I once made the mistake of going to San Antonio, came back nearly dead.

By: cerebus19

cerebus19 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:24:05 -0800

Well, at least some Wyoming residents thought this was true as recently as 2002.

By: split atom

split atom — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:24:05 -0800

I grew up in Wyoming, travelled all over the state, went to college there and I never saw an escalator the whole time.

By: frecklefaerie

frecklefaerie — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:24:10 -0800

There are no escalators in Wyoming because there is no Wyoming. I don't believe in Wyoming. I have a number of reasons for this including: 1. Dick Cheney is from Wyoming. 2. ~~There are no hot topics in Wyoming~~ Wrong. I guess one "opened up" there in the last few years. 3. Garfield told me there was no Wyoming when I was a child.

By: cerebus19

cerebus19 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:24:36 -0800

Oh. Oops. Didn't read the More Inside. Never mind me.

By: SlyBevel

SlyBevel — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:24:37 -0800

Oh, and HC Foo is from the big WY. I'll ask him about this later. He gets out there a lot.

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:25:35 -0800

It's probably because they use jet packs to launch themselves to a different level.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:26:14 -0800

Wyoming Quick Facts.

By: SlyBevel

SlyBevel — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:27:47 -0800

Damn, I oopsed the link to HC Foo above. Anyway, just got off the phone with him. He says he's not aware of any, but there may be one or two he missed in Casper or Cheyenne.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:28:31 -0800

so, properly, it's a declinator, not an escalator Goes up: excalator. Goes down: declinatrix. What, are you a Wyoman?

By: cerebus19

cerebus19 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:32:05 -0800

Ah hah! Found one! Search on this page for "escalator." It says, about Jackson Hole, "its [sic] home to the only escalator (its broken) in WY."

By: everichon

everichon — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:34:20 -0800

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:34:55 -0800

But a broken escalator is not an escalator, it is a set of stairs.

By: SlyBevel

SlyBevel — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:35:10 -0800

We're all aware that "declinatrix" makes it female, right? I shudder to think, after seeing how those things mangle Crocs.

By: Tube

Tube — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:35:51 -0800

This brings back some memories, as I thought of this in 1984 with reference to Montana. My first plane ride out of the state took me to LAX where the escalators BLEW MY MIND and made me feel like I came from Mayberry R.F.D. The same situation may hold true of Montana, but I don't know for sure. Please enlighten.

By: cerebus19

cerebus19 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:36:49 -0800

R. Mutt: It was broken in 2005. It may have been fixed sometime in the three years since.

By: ssg

ssg — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:37:43 -0800

I'm not sure why this is a big deal. I'm sure that great swaths of North America are escalator-free. I'd have to drive three hours to reach an escalator and I'm not at all in the middle of nowhere.

By: cog_nate

cog_nate — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:38:04 -0800

Here's a relevant excerpt from the short story "Stairs that Move" by E. Annie Proulx, from the collection Close Range: Natrona County sheriff's deputy Barn Hickman's face screwed taut, the sinews in his neck like iron bands. He tossed back another ounce of Wild Turkey and glared. His nostrils dilated. "Hell you call it? Exlator?" Dub Varney nodded once, giving his glazed, china white pate a wipe with his nicotine-stained fingers. "Exlator. All 'lectric. Suit man up from Denver says you don't even have to move, 'cept for a little step at the start 'n end. Gonna be one in the new Sears." "Denver?" "Denver." Hickman's red vinyl barstoool squeaked as he swiveled around. He stared out the wide saloon windows, past the "rab s'yllaS" to the beige building under construction across the brick-paved street. The capital S across the street lined up with Sally's, overshadowed it. Nodding to Dub for the last time, Hickman reclined, unholstered his revolver, placed the barrel to his temple and squeezed the trigger.

By: everichon

everichon — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:39:08 -0800

Further: I can say with unfeigned sincerity that there are no escalators in any pianos.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:39:28 -0800

But a broken escalator is not an escalator, it is a set of stairs. By the same token, every staircase is just an escalator waiting to happen. Wyoming is on verge, man.

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:39:28 -0800

Technically, Dick Cheney was born in Nebraska but began his political career in Wyoming. This suggests that the young Cheney alone was not the problem. Rather, the combination of Cheney + politics sent an atmospheric shock wave through the state of Wyoming -- the effects of which are apparent to this day in the state's distressing and unnatural lack of escalators.

By: rocket88

rocket88 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:41:25 -0800

By: barchan

barchan — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:44:45 -0800

I grew up in Wyoming. Rarely left the state until my teens. And I don't remember having a moment where I said, OH-MY-GOD it's a REAL ESCALATOR! Upon thinking about it, I'm pretty sure that the Casper airport has a very short escalator. You know, we could actually turn this into a serious discussion why there are none. Bring in data about the youth leaving the state and how few white collar jobs there are. Talk about the gentrification of rural farm land and a real estate boom that encourages retirees and rich folk. Argue about whether or not there is enough water for all of these people in a grow outward not upward culture. Speak of a job market that is rooted in energy booms, the service industry, and tourism. Or we could laugh. Because this post is hilarious! Also, the Billings airport as well has some escalators, for the Montana curious.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:45:12 -0800

So? I don't have an escalator in my car either. I hear there's no internet in my bathroom either. Does that make me a monster? DOES IT?!?!?!

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:48:13 -0800

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:50:19 -0800

You don't have internet in your bathroom? WTF?

By: barchan

barchan — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:52:55 -0800

Geez, man, I'm from Wyoming and even I have internet in my bathroom. The horror!

By: jedicus

jedicus — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:54:35 -0800

If anyone wants to check the Casper Airport (aka Natrona County International) lead, the number for the airport manager there is 307-472-6688.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:57:08 -0800

I tried calling but the secretary said the guy is taking a leak while checking his G-Mail.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:58:10 -0800

New Yorkers, on the other hand tend to walk up or more commonly, down escalators, as if they were using the stairs. People who assume that standing/riding place on the left hand side of the escalator is ok get some icy stares for clogging up the passing lane. I'm generally not a violent person but nothing brings out the rage in me like people who stand still on escalators. It's as if just by stepping on the thing they forget how to use their legs. Moving sidewalks and escalators are there to help you walk faster, not keep you from walking altogether. Sez me, anyway.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:59:24 -0800

I feel the same way about chairs.

By: humanfont

humanfont — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:01:41 -0800

One day Wyoming will kill us all. Escalators are the least of the state's problems.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:03:44 -0800

I don't know if they used it in the final edit, but when my girlfriend and I did Instant Fashion Show, or whatever the hell that show is called, we wasted precious minutes standing on a broken escalator and screaming for help.

By: barchan

barchan — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:08:36 -0800

Just asked my dad, and his reply was, "Why in hell would Wyoming want one? They're for people who go too fast." *dissolved into giggles at the thought of everyone calling the Casper Airport.* Excuse me, sir, do you have an escalator? Is it running? Then you better catch it!

By: hydrophonic

hydrophonic — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:13:43 -0800

So in Wyoming, would The Mezzanine be shelved in science fiction?

By: Staggering Jack

Staggering Jack — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:23:05 -0800

Shortly after graduating from college, my girlfriend and I found ourselves living in separate states - she in Colorado and me in Montana. Since these states were fairly large, we decided that the proper, if not romantic, thing to do would be to meet up in the middle. So every few weeks, we'd both drive for many hours and spend a pleasant weekend in Wyoming. After checking out a few different towns (tips: try the onion rings at Sanford's Grub & pub, stay at a motel made from a flour mill), we ended up staying more and more around Thermopolis. Upside: free hot springs and a nice dinosaur museum. Downside: not the sort of place you want to lock your keys in your car thirty miles from town without a cell phone. Anyway, I just meant to say I never saw any inclinators or escalators. I did see a lot of antelope so it all worked out.

By: joseph_elmhurst

joseph_elmhurst — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:28:17 -0800

hyrophonic, you have just made Soul Coughing's lyrics even more literary for me.

By: vacapinta

vacapinta — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:28:28 -0800

I'd have to drive three hours to reach an escalator and I'm not at all in the middle of nowhere. posted by ssg at 1:37 PM on March 27 [ Ok...if you say so...

By: JeremyT

JeremyT — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:30:34 -0800

This is one of those Wyoming factoids they trot out for you when you're new to the state. I transplanted to Laramie after college because my wife's family lived there. I slowly grew to hate the town (and the state to some degree) over the next five years for reasons I won't get into, but here are some other bits of Wyoming Lore I heard: 1. The tallest buildings in the state are the 5(?) story dorm buildings on the UW campus. 2. Wyoming was the first state to give women the right to vote, often said in a "look, Wyoming ain't all backwards" kind of way (What they don't say is, this passed because without it, Wyoming couldn't meet the minimum population requirements for statehood!) 3. Vedawoo, a popular recreation area of wild-carved stone just outside Laramie on I-25, is a Native American word tath means "earth spirits." According to a professor I spoke with, this is baloney and Vedawoo is a word made up to sound Native American. Ahh, Wyoming. I wished I knew how to quit you, and it turned out, moving to Colorado worked great.

By: Lord Kinbote

Lord Kinbote — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:38:02 -0800

Wyoming exists, but it chooses to remain anonymous- that's why it's rectangular.

By: split atom

split atom — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:40:23 -0800

JeremyT -- The tallest buildings in the state are the dorm buildings at UW, but they are 13 stories.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:43:33 -0800

Naw, that's just 2.6 dorms stacked up special for the folks from that Guinness book.

By: JeremyT

JeremyT — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:43:43 -0800

Thanks, split atom. I couldn't remember and I can no longer look out my office window and count them.

By: djwudi

djwudi — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:48:16 -0800

I did a search for wyoming escalator on Flickr, and got exactly one result -- though as the single hit is titled Up the Down Escalator, it appears that once again, we're dealing with a declinator and not a true escalator.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:59:36 -0800

Wyoming exists, but it chooses to remain anonymous I don't believe you. Sure, it's on the map, but have any of you ever been there? Ever met anyone from there? No. It doesn't exist. I suspect that that area of the country is being used for some kind of horrible government mind control/genetic super-soldier engineering/alien dissection/etc. activities and "Wyoming" is simply the cover story. Prove me wrong.

By: mike3k

mike3k — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:03:53 -0800

I'm pretty sure the mall on the east edge of Casper has an escalator. I lived in Casper for a year.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:05:06 -0800

Also, Dick Cheney claims to be from "Wyoming"! What does that tell you, huh? I'm telling you. Government horror factory. Some of you might claim to have driven through there or something. Simple explanation for that: government mind control nerve gas pumped into the atmosphere. All part of the conspiracy. What's Alex Jones' opinion on Wyoming, I wonder? On preview: I lived in Casper for a year You're one of them! You're in on it! They've even infiltrated Metafilter now! Is nowhere safe?

By: scody

scody — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:19:05 -0800

The last time I was in Casper was the summer of 1988, following my freshman year of college. My grandmother had just died, and my cousin was flying in from L.A. for the funeral. My uncle asked -- demanded, really -- that I accompany him to the airport with him to pick up my cousin. The two of them didn't really get along (family rumor has it that when my cousin came out to L.A. in the '70s to pursue acting, it was my dad who paid his SAG initiation dues after my uncle refused), and so I realized in retrospect that my coming along was probably insurance against getting the two of them getting into a fight straight off the bat -- something even my hot-tempered uncle wanted to avoid, under the circumstances. The flight from L.A. was delayed, so my uncle and I set up camp in the airport bar to wait. He had a Rob Roy, and then another, and so did I, being that the state drinking age in was 19 at the time -- and I, conveniently, was 19. And so, for one of exactly two times in my life, my uncle and I actually spent some time together having a conversation. We didn't have much in common; he was an ex-military man, I was the music-crazy daughter of his kid brother, the artist. But we made the time pass. We drank our Rob Roys. He told some stories -- about life in Wyoming in the '40s and '50s, and his time in Vietnam in the '60s and '70s, and how things in the state seemed to go south after the oil and mining busts in the '80s. He was a sad guy, I started to see: his anger a cover for regret, his needling of my dad a cover for the envy that my dad had gone on to do what he wanted to do, while my uncle never had. I thought about the boarded-up service stations going pale in the harsh sun on the outskirts of town, and the long trains and vast skies, and the oil wells teething the plains, and I felt a rush of both relief and heartbreak to know that the time had come in my life that I'd only be coming back to Wyoming sporadically, and then eventually, not at all. My cousin's plane finally came in, so my uncle and I walked over to the gate to meet him. And I -- loaded on scotch, and grieving my dead grandmother and lost childhood and a dying state, but also giddy at seeing my favorite cousin for the first time in a decade -- promptly lost my footing and slipped all the way to the bottom of the escalator in the Casper, Wyoming airport.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:41:55 -0800

See? And that's why they don't have escalators in Wyoming. Thanks scody.

By: 445supermag

445supermag — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:44:47 -0800

I'll take Yellowstone over an escalator any day.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:46:40 -0800

In Soviet Casper, Yellowstone takes escalator over YOU!

By: jpdoane

jpdoane — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:04:46 -0800

But a broken escalator is not an escalator, it is a set of stairs. "Sorry for the convenience"

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:25:41 -0800

Casper doesn't need escalators. He can float! Why? Ohming.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:41:48 -0800

Either the Frontier Mall in Cheyenne has escalators, or they want us to think they have escalators, because they're specifically mentioned in the Frontier Mall Code of Conduct (88K .PDF). That's right, the mall has a code of conduct. Online.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:45:41 -0800

OK, for fun I called the Frontier Mall, and the nice lady who answered the phone said they do not have escalators. I asked her if she knew of a building in town that had them, and she said no. The plot thickens.

By: ErWenn

ErWenn — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:50:08 -0800

Thank you for the Fermi Question link, growli. In high school, my friends and I used to do these all the time on the bus ride home. I remember we computed the number of nickels it would take to fill up the moon at one point in time (don't remember the answer). Once someone had brought a model for some art project that had two tubes on it, vaguely resembling the barrels of a shotgun, so we calculated what its caliber would be (I think it was almost exactly 1).

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:53:04 -0800

Rule 6 of the code of conduct was clearly thrown in as a gimme to boost test scores.

By: bobo123

bobo123 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:06:40 -0800

I loved watching the Wyoming primary coverage on TV. Hillary, Bill and Barack were all sort of out of place, especially Bill Clinton who usually has tons of anecdotes and personal connections to whichever state he's in but he seemed a little lost for words in Wyoming, like he was thinking "Why am I here?"

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:17:57 -0800

If the people in Wyoming had cameras, we could get photographic evidence Well, you could prove that it was an escalator, but not that it was moving. Or, conversely, I could find a photo of a pair of stairs, and insist they were an escalator frozen in time, and could you really prove me wrong?

By: everichon

everichon — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:37:08 -0800

Number 14 of the Frontier Mall Code of Conduct seems to preclude me saying things like "This will wendell" at the Frontier Mall.

By: LobsterMitten

LobsterMitten — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:49:16 -0800

I moved to a semi-rural town recently (not in Wyoming). Getting directions from someone to the doctor's office: Helpful local: Oh, it's in that that real tall office building -- you know, on the corner of Smith St and Jones Ave? Me: Uh... [not remembering such a building] Helpful local: Well you'll see it when you get out there -- can't miss it. Tallest thing around. So I drove out there, and drove past it, and circled back after a mile or so. It's a 3 story building.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:54:02 -0800

Obviously, they have dismantled the escalator in the Casper, Wyoming airport since scody was there in 1988. I prefer my archetypal Wyoming escalator-free, thank you.

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:39:51 -0800

Why is this not "lolhix" deleted? Is this some kind of Wyoming in-joke?

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:44:14 -0800

Wyoming has no escalators because the average elevation exceeds 2 km, and there's no place to go but down. When I moved to Colorado nine years ago, I wondered why the population of Wyoming was only about a tenth that of Colorado. Then we drove to Cheyenne one day and I understood.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:49:57 -0800

This is some kind of Wyoming in-joke. Of the three or so people I've met who I can remember disclosing that they were from Wyoming, all of them mentioned some mix of this escalator issue and the notion that Wyoming does not, in fact, exist. You get the feeling that there's not a whole lot to do in Wyoming, somehow. But yeah, not so much LOLHICKS in my personal experience.

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:50:47 -0800

You know, we could actually turn this into a serious discussion why there are none. Bring in data about the youth leaving the state and how few white collar jobs there are. Talk about the gentrification of rural farm land and a real estate boom that encourages retirees and rich folk. Argue about whether or not there is enough water for all of these people in a grow outward not upward culture. Speak of a job market that is rooted in energy booms, the service industry, and tourism. Or we could laugh. Because this post is hilarious! Perhaps I've been wrong to blindly follow the medical traditions and superstitions of past centuries. Maybe we barbers should test these assumptions analytically, through experimentation and a "scientific method". Maybe this scientific method could be extended to other fields of learning: the natural sciences, art, architecture, navigation. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! .. Nah.

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:53:18 -0800

Can the jackalope still be the official mythical creature of Wyoming if Wyoming itself is a myth?

By: humanfont

humanfont — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:27:28 -0800

Among the mysterious places in Wyoming -The Cirque of the Towers -Nimerigar, the Little People -Thermopolis -Sinks Canyon -Big Nose George -Hell's Half Acre

By: Sam.Burdick

Sam.Burdick — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:45:18 -0800

I would hazard to guess that if you take the non-existence of Wyoming as one of your basic premises in ANY philosophical proof it would render moot any discussion about the existence or non-existence of mythical (or non-mythical) creatures and/or structures and/or conveyances and/or secret-military-industrial-alien-agro-plants. But, that would take all the fun out of it. So... the Jackalope is a meta-myth in Wyoming and perfectly reasonable and everyday myth everywhere else... Except on any bicycle suspension fork made by the SRAM suspension group known as Rock Shox. Doubt me? Just go look on the rebound damper knob, you'll find it at the bottom of the right-hand lowers leg.

By: fontgoddess

fontgoddess — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:48:55 -0800

*raises hand* I'm from Wyoming. I'm not sure if there is an escalator in the state. There isn't an escalator in Laramie. And the Wyoming exists, but it chooses to remain anonymous line is actually quite accurate. This spring, when our Democratic caucus for the presidential nomination was important (for probably the only time ever), I was pretty sure that if the state could speak it would say, "Stop looking at me. Seriously. Why are you looking at me like that?" I think the state motto should be changed to "Statistically Improbable."

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:41:48 -0800

I would hazard to guess that if you take the non-existence of Wyoming as one of your basic premises in ANY philosophical proof it would render moot any discussion about the existence or non-existence of mythical (or non-mythical) creatures and/or structures and/or conveyances and/or secret-military-industrial-alien-agro-plants. Bosh! Flimshaw! You could use the same argument to suggest there is no Emerald City in the land of Oz, no lightsabers in Star Wars, that the sky in Neuromancer might as well have been the color of a strawberry yogurt tuned to A#. A myth is a world unto itself, by god, and nothing is mooted! But, that would take all the fun out of it. Exactly!

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:31:30 -0800

So, um, now are there any escalators in Wyoming, or not? I will not rest before we get some closure on this, dammit.

By: jazon

jazon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:57:31 -0800

All right, this thread has been a hoot and a holler. However, it doesn't solve the mystery. I am 99% sure there are no escalators in Laramie or Cheyenne. I thought there might be one at the Casper Events Center, but the nice lady in Administration there said no. She did say that there is an escalator in the First Interstate Bank building, and a quick call there confirmed they have one. She also said that Hilltop National bank has one, and they also confirm that their Country Club Road location is so equipped. I will not attempt to prove that Wyoming does exist as a place (though I was there last weekend) but will settle on establishing that Wonkette is wrong on this subject.

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:02:06 -0800

jazon: will settle on establishing that Wonkette is wrong And along with the jokes and stories, that also makes my day.

By: notashroom

notashroom — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:29:39 -0800

I spent a week in Atlanta once and I've never seen or ridden so many escalators in my life, including one freakishly long one at a downtown MARTA station. I don't think they climb stairs in Atlanta, which probably has something to do with the hellish humidity. posted by rocket88 at 4:41 PM on March 27 "Stairs"? Are those like broken escalators? <confused Atlantan> How do people in Wyoming -- assuming there are people in Wyoming, a leap of faith -- get from one storey to another? Do they have climbing walls?

By: EricGjerde

EricGjerde — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:10:11 -0800

We used to live in Casper - it's where my wife is from, in a transplanted-from-San-Diego sort of way. Her aunt ran the only Japanese restaurant in the state, which was open for 3 hours every Thursday night. Great food. Living out there for a while was definitely an eye-opening experience to the Western mentality.

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:03:54 -0800

EricGjerde: Her aunt ran the only Japanese restaurant in the state, which was open for 3 hours every Thursday night. Great food. It was only open for 3 hours once a week?

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:42:08 -0800

Talk about exclusive!

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:13:24 -0800

"How do people in Wyoming -- assuming there are people in Wyoming, a leap of faith -- get from one storey to another?" Look, Wyoming is over 97,000 square miles and has just over a half-million residents. Why the hell would there be buildings more than one story high?

By: stargell

stargell — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:39:11 -0800

Well, I know one place they could certainly use an escalator.

By: notashroom

notashroom — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:17:14 -0800

Look, Wyoming is over 97,000 square miles and has just over a half-million residents. Why the hell would there be buildings more than one story high? posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:13 PM on March 28 Because of the terrorists? To keep horses out of the bedroom? A basement, in case of tornadoes? Er ... never mind.

By: fontgoddess

fontgoddess — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:11:25 -0800

I have confirmation from the TSA (okay, actually my friend who's a screener at the Laramie airport) that the Casper Airport does not have an escalator. But it's nice to know that escalator aficionados in Casper have escalator options. Thanks, jazon! I'm still going to check on Jackson Hole. Because doing a Wyoming escalator census is awesome in so many ways.

By: fontgoddess

fontgoddess — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:00:32 -0800

And, regarding Japanese food in Wyoming, there are sushi restaurants in Laramie and Cheyenne (as well as at least three other places in Laramie where one can get sushi) and there has been a Japanese restaurant called the Teriyaki Bowl in Laramie (in a former Long John Silver's location) for ten years or more. Plus, a Thai restaurant just opened in Laramie (just half a block from the vegetarian restaurant) and it was packed tonight. Laramie: the Boulder of Wyoming (with a libertarian streak and more affordable housing). We have plenty of multi-story buildings, although with strong winds and a lot of room to spread out, there will never be really tall buildings. Also, tall buildings are less cool when you can climb a mountain instead. And, lest you think we are totally backwards, Wyoming is totally on top of sustainable agriculture [disclosure: this is what my dad does. I grew up going on grass tours (this kind [pdf link], not this kind)].

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 12:41:21 -0800

Notashroom: How do people in Wyoming -- assuming there are people in Wyoming, a leap of faith -- get from one storey to another? Do they have climbing walls? They make leaps of faith. Much, much faster than any of the other options.

By: fontgoddess

fontgoddess — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:14:39 -0800

I've found out that Alaska has escalators, just in case someone was wondering about that state.

By: fontgoddess

fontgoddess — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:30:01 -0800

Informational note: when starting research that involves calling people to ask what they know about Wyoming escalators, do not start on April 1. I heard back from the State Fire Marshall's office today. We should have an exact escalator "headcount" by the end of next week.