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Momma Mia!
March 28, 2008 4:59 PM   Subscribe

Holy Shit! What am I going to do without MOZZARELLA!!!!!

I don't know what the guy is singing in the first YT link but I recognize plenty of "dirty words".
(NSFW in Italy?)
posted by snsranch (30 comments total)

 
Buffalo mozzarella buffalo buffalo buffalo mozzarella buffalo mozzarella.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 5:02 PM on March 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


Holy Shit! What am I going to do without MOZZARELLA!!!!!

Well, if you're like most Americans, you'll continue doing whatever it is that you've been doing, because you've never actually had Mozzarella di bufala.
posted by dersins at 5:03 PM on March 28, 2008


Also, YM "Mama." HTH.
posted by dersins at 5:04 PM on March 28, 2008


AIM "Mamma."
posted by dersins at 5:05 PM on March 28, 2008


I hope this doesn't hurt their wings and gals.
posted by DU at 5:08 PM on March 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


In humans the disease causes fever, weight loss and sickness. However pasteurised milk is safe.

So I get to eat cheese AND lose a few pounds? I'm not seeing a downside here.
posted by LeeJay at 5:09 PM on March 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


The Neapolitan mafia? They send three guys over: one brown, one pink, and one white.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:12 PM on March 28, 2008 [23 favorites]


Dersins: Bah, I spent five years in Varcaturo and my dogs would chase buffalo out of our yard pretty much every day. I'm having a CRISIS, man! Have some sympathy.
posted by snsranch at 5:19 PM on March 28, 2008


Fair enough, then. I've got to say, though, that I've had some american-made mozzarella that, while not in the same league as Mozzarella di bufala, is at least playing the same sport. The place where I used to get it is gone, but I'm sure there must be others.
posted by dersins at 5:26 PM on March 28, 2008


Fairly safe for work: on the level of "shit".
I have had american fresh mozzarella and it is all right, a little lacking in flavor. Brucellosis as the italian MSG?
posted by francesca too at 5:37 PM on March 28, 2008


Dersins, according to these people, their product can be had at Daily Grind Natural Foods
and elsewhere in Portland.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:45 PM on March 28, 2008


I have had american fresh mozzarella and it is all right, a little lacking in flavor.

So is it not supposed to be bland and mealy? Because this is my sole experience with what I understand to be "fresh" mozzarella. These white alien eggs sit in cloudy water until they're pulled out, cut up, and placed on a sandwich from which they extract all particles of spice and flavor, like sponges -- that's what I think of when I think of fresh mozzarella. I was unconvinced that the experience is superior to the friendly, nutty, stringy cheese I know from pizza and baked pasta. But if it's only genuine in Italy, that would explain the problem.
posted by Countess Elena at 5:57 PM on March 28, 2008


Daddy's doing sister Sally
Grandma's dying of cancer now
The cattle all have brucellosis
We'll get through somehow
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 5:59 PM on March 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Clearly Mozzarella was always dangerous.
posted by cashman at 6:10 PM on March 28, 2008


I lived in Naples [Napoli] during my teenage years in the Eighties, and I ate that stuff all the time. Oh man I wish I could eat it now (without the garbage). The imported mozzarella di bufala at the Pike Place Market in Seattle is all I can find. Unfortunately, it is made with animal rennet. Ensalada caprese was my all-time favorite!
posted by augustweed at 6:17 PM on March 28, 2008


Oh, man, Ensalada caprese is a great whey to enjoy some mozzarella! Thankfully Naples isn't important in the olive oil production arena, or we'd be totally screwed.

What the hell is up with Naples anyway? With Neapolitans being as crazy as they are, I'm surprised there isn't a bigger revolt. You would think there would be a few dead politicos and mafiosi by now.
posted by snsranch at 6:36 PM on March 28, 2008


Related: How To Make Homemade Mozzarella Cheese. Also YouTubery on mozzarella making.
posted by spock at 7:09 PM on March 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


Indigo Jones: The Daily Grind is closed, actually, but the New Seasons locations should work, and there's one a mile and a half from dersins' ICBM coords. Mmm, I think I'll make some mozzarella this weekend.
posted by mumkin at 7:19 PM on March 28, 2008


As a consumer of mozzarella di bufala and an italian, I should wrap myself in flag and pretend that's just a smear campaign.

And it probably partially is a smear campaign, even if there was some contamined batch and it's sickening , but problems aren't really bound to a single country.

I wonder how often food is checked by some indipendent authority, how indipendented it really is and if the standards themselves are dictated by industrial faith or by hard facts. Paranoia is so sickening.

So if we have to die of food poisoning, remember : you HAVE TO let the mozarella reach room temperature BEFORE eating it, otherwise you'll not enjoy most of the flavour. That's particularly true of mozzarella di bufala, but generally of many kinds of food.
posted by elpapacito at 7:35 PM on March 28, 2008


Just so you know, if you live in NYC and want the hook up, head to Dave & Tony's
(35-18 30th Avenue, just off the 30th Ave stop on the N line in Astoria), the owner is napolitano and they make some crazy delicious mozzarella right in the back, plus they have all the other good shit too.
I miss Astoria very much.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 7:36 PM on March 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


cheese I know from pizza

You're lucky if that's even cheese, per se. on the pizza. When the slice price goes up, it's always "beacuse the flour went up," never because of the cheese, that has been out of the equation for some time.

I used to stay above a little shop in the East Village that was famous for giant tubs of water full of milky water floating "Fresh Mozzarellal," Faded and worn hand made signs taped to the glass. But every Monday the dumpster out back was full PollY O tubs of all sizes.

With the real stuff, be prepared for that the slightly funky flavor, the first time I had some I though it must slightly off.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:52 PM on March 28, 2008


whey to go, snsranch. kind of a cheesy pun, though.
posted by emelenjr at 8:11 PM on March 28, 2008


you HAVE TO let the mozarella reach room temperature BEFORE eating it, otherwise you'll not enjoy most of the flavour. That's particularly true of mozzarella di bufala, but generally of many kinds of food.

So very, very true. Especially of strawberries.
posted by gimonca at 8:16 PM on March 28, 2008


emelenjr, FTW!!!11!!
posted by snsranch at 8:19 PM on March 28, 2008


I started making mozzarella at home about a year ago, and it's easy as can be. It takes about half an hour (and most of that time is just heating up a gallon of milk on the stovetop) and yields the yummiest, creamiest, most delicate stuff you've never had. Usually, I manage to eat about a third of it while it's still warm--then realize I've basically just eaten a third of a gallon of milk--and save the rest for caprese salad, pizza or a midnight snack on crackers. I started by ordering a very reasonably-priced kit from New England Cheesemaking Supply, and now I've branched off into homemade paneer, burrata, and cheese curds. If you like do-it-yourself type projects, this one's a must.
posted by ad_hominem at 10:16 PM on March 28, 2008 [5 favorites]


ad_hominem writes "I started by ordering a very reasonably-priced kit from New England Cheesemaking Supply"

Thanks, takes care of a gift I needed to send someone.
posted by orthogonality at 11:21 PM on March 28, 2008


Re: smear campaign. I saw on the news last night that acceptable dioxin levels for the EU were something to the effect of 0.4 nanograms per [foo] amount. 4.0 nanograms per [foo] amount is the accepted level for exportation as regulated by the Italian authorities. For internal consumption, the accepted levels are 100 nanograms per [foo] amount.

This is all IIRC as I was cooking dinner* at the time, but it did make me raise an eyebrow. However, I'm a bit more interested in the pollution & Mafia angles than the possibility of not being able to get ahold of a piece of buffala. On one side you have inept, possibly corrupt government who are unable to handle the garbage crisis. On the other side you have Mafia dumping & burning toxins, possibly near your property. What's a farmer stuck in the middle to do?

Anywho, the EU has declared that no sanctions will be made, France & Japan have dropped their blocks, and the Ministry of Health is initiating a mass wave of controls & heard culling. So scare over, time for the media to pull out their next wave of finger pointing & hand waving hysteria. Think we're about due for a nice round of "Teh Internet = pedophiles!"...

And I had caprese as an antipasto. Eat your dioxin-free hearts out.
posted by romakimmy at 5:24 AM on March 29, 2008


Re: smear campaign. I didn't pay much attention to the whole brouhaha until I saw the Italian agriculture minister publicly eat some Mozzarella. Then I thought: "Holy shit, they are fucked!". Considering the precedents for that kind of display of public confidence in one's food, one would have thought that the PR guys in the Italian government would have had better ideas.

Even for its usual dire standards, the Italian government's reaction to this panic has been a shambles: first denial, then stonewalling, finally frantic panic. They should have known that this sort of story never fails to excite journalists (no smear campaign needed, really), and that failing to adress it head-on from the start was very, very foolish.
posted by Skeptic at 8:07 AM on March 29, 2008


(Also, note to politicians: Nobody, ever looks flattering when eating. Avoid that kind of photo-ops like the pest if you don't want to be remembered by a picture of some kind of ravenous, slobbering zombie. That's doubly valid for middle-aged males, what most agriculture ministers somehow tend to be.)
posted by Skeptic at 8:14 AM on March 29, 2008


Huh. Well, this is good news for the several places in my neighborhood that make fresh mozz.
posted by desuetude at 3:30 PM on March 29, 2008


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