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I'd like to say hello to all people on this board.
April 1, 2008 9:36 AM   Subscribe

Who is Janek Makowski? One man, in a struggle against the trolls and spammers of the internet. One man, spreading the friendliness across untold forums. One man, Janek Makowski.

Without any clear intentions, someone calling himself "Janek Makowski" has been posting to random forums throughout the internet. He's not a spammer, like the random commentary we've gotten used to, since his name doesn't link with any product. He's not doing anything ridiculous to drive these forums into a flame war, he's just ... saying hello.

I for one praise Janek Mokowski for fighting a thankless battle against the attention whores and the spammers, for bringing simple kindness to the internet.

So in spirit of the great Janek himself, I'd like to say hello to all people on this board.
posted by klik99 (37 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
I can understand spreading the good word, but I figured it'd be something other than "hello."

It's got to be some kind of bot, don't you think?
posted by Dave Faris at 9:41 AM on April 1, 2008


I seriously doubt this is anything as benevolent and selfless as "bringing simple kindness to the internet." I'm sure it's an SEO tactic (not by you, klik99 -- although I am curious as to how you ran across this "Janek Makowski"), attempting to "start viral" and which will then have a commercial tie once the pagerank on the name is high.
posted by pineapple at 9:42 AM on April 1, 2008


I'd like to say hello to all people on this board.

Regards,
yeoz
posted by yeoz at 9:45 AM on April 1, 2008


testing
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 9:49 AM on April 1, 2008


But is he looking for a used car?
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:53 AM on April 1, 2008


I love how in the first google return the first and only response is someone telling him to use a special forum they have for introductions. That exchange sums up my entire experience with community BBSs. Three quarters of all posts on those things are basically devoid of any thought, they're just knee-jerk reactions. I think in the future I'm going to carefully attend to live conversations, studying them to see if my friends idle chatter is similarly pointless.

And why would you ever need to introduce yourself again?
posted by cyphill at 9:54 AM on April 1, 2008


I'm with Dave Faris ... I expected something more. Janek's posts are identical, one-sided, and robotic. He never follows up with his hellos, and I'll bet he doesn't even come back to read people saying hello back to him. I hate to have so little faith in humanity, but it just seems strange and out of place. There's something fishy there.
posted by tastybrains at 9:54 AM on April 1, 2008


A Google search? That's what you linked to?

That does it. I'm so going to make a post and just link to my profile page.
posted by loquacious at 9:55 AM on April 1, 2008 [2 favorites]


Sure - It's probably someone testing out a new bot to use in later spammings, but I love the completely banal reactions it gets. And I hope that maybe, just maybe, it's someone sitting lonely in his room who just wants to say hi.
posted by klik99 at 9:57 AM on April 1, 2008


klik99 , so, you actually took the time to read the responses?

you need a hobby, my friend...
posted by HuronBob at 9:59 AM on April 1, 2008


Did you mean: Jacek Makowski
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:01 AM on April 1, 2008


No, this is what I meant.
posted by Dr-Baa at 10:03 AM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


5 User(s) are reading this topic (5 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:03 AM on April 1, 2008


In many cases the posts appear to be made anonymously on boards that allow guest posting but Janek also posts on registration required boards seemingly when they're well known pieces of board software like phpBB. Most certainly a bot.

My paranoia says this is a way to tag php bulletin board software as spammable/exploitable. This'd be a good test to get an idea of how closely moderated a board is (if off topic guest posts don't get deleted then it's probably safe to assume you can get away with posting a ton of spam, doubly so for guests).

In one account Janek's account lists an email at onet.eu, which appears to forward to a onet.pl which is a Polish portal site I guess.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 10:06 AM on April 1, 2008 [2 favorites]


I hate to be cynical as well, but maybe he just gets off on seeing his name everywhere?
posted by troubles at 10:08 AM on April 1, 2008


Pay it Forward 2: the Janek Makowski Story.
posted by The Straightener at 10:12 AM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one that thought this was talking about Jandek at first?
posted by rooftop secrets at 10:23 AM on April 1, 2008


Oh, I see I wasn't. Carry on.
posted by rooftop secrets at 10:25 AM on April 1, 2008


Wait. How many men is Janek Makowski again?

(And how many Mokowskis are you referring to in the tags?)
posted by pracowity at 10:28 AM on April 1, 2008


Hello from Janek Makowski

I'd like to say hello to all people on this board.

Regards,
Janek
posted by Janek_Makowski at 10:42 AM on April 1, 2008 [14 favorites]


Best use of $5 ever.
posted by misha at 10:54 AM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh, that Janek Makowski. I call BS BTW.
posted by fixedgear at 11:08 AM on April 1, 2008


A Google search? That's what you linked to?

That does it. I'm so going to make a post and just link to my profile page.
posted by loquacious


Arghh! I've been working on collecting that link for weeks.
posted by oneirodynia at 11:09 AM on April 1, 2008


I swear I saw this post in MetaTalk before I read this FPP (by a non-underscored Janek Makowski), but now it's gone. That's actually why I checked out this link. Did it get deleted?
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:09 AM on April 1, 2008


When does he get his book deal so that he can share his wacky, heartwarming tale?
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 11:12 AM on April 1, 2008


Hello from crazy finger

I'd like to say hello to all people of this board.

Last evening as I walked home in dark, Janek Makowski brutally beat me and took wallet and much moneys.

Regards,

crazy finger
posted by crazy finger at 11:21 AM on April 1, 2008


Okay, I found a reference on google that I THINK suggests a bot, but it's perl and I'm clueless:

#!/usr/bin/perl -w # # Product: BotJuper v1.3, (c) pasky 2001 ...
... (c) yanek 2000 # # No warranty and so on, ... Simply edit thingies here, add this bot on $remotehost bot (+add pass # to him), ...

posted by misha at 11:23 AM on April 1, 2008


sorry, here's the link from above^
posted by misha at 11:27 AM on April 1, 2008


I'd also like to say hello to all of you.

But I'd prefer to do it according to the traditions of my cultural background. So, we are going to need 15 gallons of lime Jello, a fairly tame raccoon, three pairs of Speedos, a car battery, a lever-action rifle, three dozen white roses, and a couple of hundred feet of clear plastic sheeting.

Oh, an a Polaroid camera so that we can document the whole thing.

Now, one at a time... And let me get you to start the line for this shindig over here... and listen, if you hear screaming, don't let it freak you out. It's all part of the beautiful process.
posted by quin at 11:58 AM on April 1, 2008 [2 favorites]


solipsophistocracy, I saw it too.
posted by chudmonkey at 12:03 PM on April 1, 2008


Janek Makowskis:

WWII platoon leader
Bassist for Bakflip

Both Polish, natch. I believe "$NAME-ek" is a common term of endearment-ish thing in Polish: i.e., "Piotr" becoming "Piotrek".
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:12 PM on April 1, 2008


Reminds me of a lot of spam I've been seeing on my blog. Sometimes they're not even links to anything, just random phrases or words put together. I assumed it was part of some SEO strategy. (Popular ones seem to be random words along with "top news", e.g. "hotcakes and top news!")
posted by Kadin2048 at 2:20 PM on April 1, 2008


Genius entrance, JM.
posted by resurrexit at 2:52 PM on April 1, 2008


Misha, good find but juper.pl (BotJuper) is exactly as it sounds, it jupes bots.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 3:10 PM on April 1, 2008


This is all according to the prophecies.
posted by Dizzy at 5:41 PM on April 1, 2008


all according to the prophecies.

And there was given unto him a keyboard typing great hellos and blasphemies; and bandwidth was given unto him to continue forty and two days.

And he opened his browser in blasphemy against Kibo, to blaspheme his name, and his tabernacle, and them that dwell in eternal Usenet.

And it was given unto him to send greetings to the web, and to annoy it; and power was given him over all trolls, and forums, and websites.

And all that dwell upon the Net shall notice him, whose names are not written in that database of life of the Hacker slain from the foundation of the world.

If any man have an ear, let him hear.
posted by sfenders at 8:31 PM on April 1, 2008


Cześć Starzy.//

The 'OMG BOTTAGE" was a funny response. And yes, the responses are a study themselves.
posted by alicesshoe at 1:07 AM on April 2, 2008


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