12 Things That Women Do That Men Find Irresistable

April 1, 2008 10:27 AM

12 Things That Women Do That Men Find Irresistable. Not a "playa"'s list, a Buddhist blogger insightfully examines twelve emotional habits and outlooks that men find particularly attractive. (I daresay the list is probably not gender-specific, either; these are twelve qualities and outlooks that I think women would probably find rather attractive in men as well.)

When I found myself nodding repeatedly while reading the piece, I figured it might be of interest to my fellow Mefites as well. "I’ve been amazed when I see 18 year old girls who feel 40, and then when I see 40 year old women who feel 18."

posted by WCityMike (27 comments total)

1) Have boobs
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:32 AM on April 1

> 1) Have boobs

I realize this has the possibility of "going there," but we could actually make this one of those threads where people go, "You're kidding, we discussed that subject and there weren't any derails and there was relatively polite exchanges of views?!"
posted by WCityMike at 10:33 AM on April 1

It's based on buddhism. Thus of unassailable wisdom.
posted by jouke at 10:35 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

To be fair, it does list "chest present" as part of the perfect female body language.
posted by prefpara at 10:38 AM on April 1

10. Sexually adventurous. Sexual repression creates angry people. Nuf’ said. ;)

WCityMike, surely there are more articulate essays out there. I don't mean Nabokov-level but just those that don't end their sentences with 'Nuf' said' and a smiley.
posted by vacapinta at 10:40 AM on April 1

Irresistable? Irresistible.

Being able to spell accurately, sadly, belongs nowhere on that list.
posted by WalterMitty at 10:40 AM on April 1

I thought it was a very informative article. And you're absolutely correct, WCM, that it applies just as equally to men.
My first thought was to show it to my fiancee. My second was to study it and work on my own irresistability.
posted by rocket88 at 10:41 AM on April 1

Here's where I get off the crazy train:

4. Emotion. The insecure man will be repulsed by an emotional woman, and the confident man will be attracted. Remember, this isn’t about faking anything, like tantrum, emotional outburst etc. etc. but rather just allowing your yin nature to flow through you. Emotion is spontaneous. The unemotional yang is attracted to its polar opposite the emotional yin by the force of magnetism.

See, I find that to be pretty resistible. One of the first things I look for in a woman is sanity.
posted by JDHarper at 10:41 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]

Short version: pretty, happy, outgoing girls with no baggage or neuroses and plenty of love to give (winking emoticon!) are going to be popular with the gentlemen.

SHOCK.
posted by prefpara at 10:42 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]

WCityMike, I understand you're saying it could apply to men, too, but it's definitely not written that way. And frankly it's full of stereotypes that are generally applied to women and not to men. Like this: "When the leg is weak and they don’t look that great today, their entire self image is destroyed. And when they look particularly great one day, their entire self image is built around it."

Also what is up with stuff like this: "A rare quality of a woman is patience. Men are grateful of a woman who is patient with them because most women are simply impatient."

I just don't think this is a very helpful way to look at women. Or men. Is this an April Fool's joke?
posted by onlyconnect at 10:43 AM on April 1

"Whether you love or hate her, Paris Hilton has awesome body language so if you like, check her out.Whether you love or hate her, Paris Hilton has awesome body language so if you like, check her out."

You make baby Siddhartha cry.
posted by Someone has just shot your horse! at 10:43 AM on April 1

I’ve had the privilege of dating among the most beautiful, attractive, women in the world. I’ve had the the privilege of having been in relationships with some of the best, most intelligent girlfriends in the world and also the worst, most idiotic girlfriends in the world. I’ve been in circle relationships (relationships with two or more bisexual woman) and relationships with very, very, VERY straight women.

In other words, player-boy doesn't have a clue about your average woman.
posted by three blind mice at 10:44 AM on April 1

I personally check mark this list when meeting a woman and so do many other higher quality men I’ve taught, conversed and interviewed.

Turnoffs: checklists and rating people in terms of quality. Also typos and self-help types telling women as a generalized homogenous group what they should do to be attractive.

This site seems rather off. Who is this guy? Most of what he's saying is either common sense or ridiculously trite and stereotyped.
posted by Tehanu at 10:44 AM on April 1

I read this, hoping to hear something insightful, or new. I forgot, that generalizations regarding one gender or another, or race, or religion, results in a wide open field for personal projection, and that is what this is.

I have a friend, who is a good friend, who once was talking to ME saying, "Women are so stupid, you know, they are weak, and blah, blah, blah." I stopped him cold, and reminded him that he chose the types of individuals that he spent intimate time with. He chose people who would not threaten him, or be able to control him. It has nothing to do with what any group of people is like, anywhere.

This guy, Brandon, has been with too many people altogether, by his count, to be anything more than a sexual addict, or relationship shopper. To Brandon I say, whatever. Please don't stick Buddhist on your relationship shopping list. It is way too materialistic, and self centered to indicate that you have any genuine interest in Buddhism, except that stating it sets you apart, and offers the illusion of guilt free sexual expeditionism.
posted by Oyéah at 10:45 AM on April 1

“there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy one.”

C'mon. This is just a mean way of getting ugly chicks to work hard.
posted by rhymer at 10:45 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

Completely agree with onlyconnect. We essentially have a single point of view here, the thoughts of one person, overgeneralized to all men and all women, relying on some stale tropes, with a slight New Age gloss that doesn't go very far.

I also agree that there's nothing particularly gendered about the raw list of topic headings, which are the plain, basic qualities any healthy person looks for in a healthy partner of either gender. Not really newsworthy stuff. This is just a personal essay with a somewhat limited point of view on gender relations.
posted by Miko at 10:47 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

Yintegrity? Really? Fail.
posted by cashman at 10:48 AM on April 1

I’ve had the privilege of dating among the most beautiful, attractive, women in the world. I’ve had the the privilege of having been in relationships with some of the best, most intelligent girlfriends in the world and also the worst, most idiotic girlfriends in the world. I’ve been in circle relationships (relationships with two or more bisexual woman) and relationships with very, very, VERY straight women.

Are any of them copy editors? Because HOLY FUCK DUDE YOU NEED TO MARRY THE ONE WHO IS.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:49 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]

Brandon is on the leading edge of relationship, love, sex and dating consciousness. Determined to right the wrongs of so many easily avoidable mishaps that go on between men and women (and sometimes other women), he has made it his life purpose to give guidance and support where there is lack… for women.

Brandon has spent his entire life figuring out that one question that seems to elude almost everyone “What do women want?” He has been a feminist and a bigamist. He has been proponent of women’s rights while pushing for the submission and surrender of women that lingures in her nature. He has drived head first into the chaotic realms of the feminine world and meditated into the void of the masculine world… all in an effort to establish unopinionated, undoctored truth.

I can't decide if he's a con artist trying to break into the web relationship-advice business... or just a self-aggrandizing moron. Possibly both, though. Kinda reminds of self-styled gurus of other stripes.
posted by Tehanu at 10:49 AM on April 1

Humor = "laughs at his dumb jokes." Intelligence = "you can look into her eyes and tell that she is with you right now."

So why isn't "self-care" defined as "sits there happily while you work on your own looks to make yourself attractive to her"?
posted by transona5 at 10:49 AM on April 1

Paris Hilton has awesome body language so if you like, check her out.

Et tu, Buddhist?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:50 AM on April 1

I have been with enough women to know that most women are pushed and pulled by the wind at every moment.

What a jackass.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:50 AM on April 1

The logo alone just makes me want to run over somebody with a low-on-gas moped.
posted by cashman at 10:50 AM on April 1

*bonk bonk bonk bonk*

With nearly any essay or text available on the Internet, it is extraordinarily easy to scan through it for the most outrageous or dumbass passages and use same as justifiable grounds for ignoring any other content in the document. (Cf. hubbub with pull-quote from Michelle Obama's thesis.)

Yes, I was perfectly aware that there was some (i) stereotyping and (ii) ethereal yin-yang stuff. I did, however, think that there was some genuine insight in there that was worth sifting through (i) and (ii).
posted by WCityMike at 10:50 AM on April 1

I'm sorry. My previous comment was just snarky. Let me explain why this article really irritated me.

1. It's rehashing the same old stuff we've seen a million times before, and it's just some dude's opinion, so it's not even interesting in the way that it might be interesting to hear what a celebrity or famous author has to say.

2. It's loaded with sexism, as onlyconnect has pointed out.

3. I hate this kind of thinking, where you figure out what your ideal lover looks like so that everyone else in the world can fail to measure up. And when they do fail, you can just tell them that they're lazy and, what, not Buddhist enough?

4. What everyone else said.
posted by prefpara at 10:51 AM on April 1

Yuck. I stopped reading when I got here: Self-care. Beauty, hair, skin, makeup; the superficial things men adore. I really don't like lists that tell me I'm unattractive unless I spend hours primping myself up for the male gaze. Also, I don't like makeup and I don't consider it an essential part of a grooming regimen.

I guess I'm just a little squicked out by people who make lists detailing exactly what they're looking for in a woman - or a man, for that matter. I make lists of exactly what I'm looking for in a toaster but I don't think it's quite as applicable when I'm looking for a mate. People are individuals with individual, different collections of their own unique traits. It's kind of hopeless and a little creepy to categorize like this. Yeah, a sense of humor and intelligence make anyone more interesting - huge insight there, good thing he marked it with a charming little smiley or I might have missed it - but most of this says volumes more about him than it does about women.

On preview, good, I'm not the only one who it creeped out.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:53 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

FAIL
posted by monju_bosatsu at 10:55 AM on April 1