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April 3, 2008 10:45 AM   Subscribe

Ed explains how to be Metal. Lordi shows how not to be metal. Metalocalypse makes Kitties Metal. (Obnoxious, Youtube, Metal!)
posted by Lord_Pall (46 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Synonyms!
posted by nzero at 10:53 AM on April 3, 2008


Youtube link mentioning kitties is broked.
posted by closetphilosopher at 10:56 AM on April 3, 2008


This video [Metalocalypse Kitties] is not available in your country.

DAMNS YOU, SCANDINAVIA!
posted by not_on_display at 10:59 AM on April 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Did I manage to find a European or Scandinavian specific link?

How in gods name do I filter for that?

AOL alternative for those in the colonies.
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:00 AM on April 3, 2008


\m/
posted by sciurus at 11:02 AM on April 3, 2008


> This video [Metalocalypse Kitties] is not available in your country.

Because, basically, what with the long-distance charges and labor rates involved in shipping bytes on the internet, it was really just too expensive for a disposable video about kittens. So YouTube decided to ration its bandwidth in favor of the Honors lecture at Yale about ethics in law during wartime.
posted by ardgedee at 11:05 AM on April 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Head. Hurt. Make. Stop. Please.
posted by Dizzy at 11:13 AM on April 3, 2008


I just went looking for the actual clip of Dethklok playing the Duncan Hills Coffee jingle and can't find it.

Suffice it to say that between the jingle's awesomeness and Dethklok's popularity, since their endorsement all other coffee companies have been obliterated.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:14 AM on April 3, 2008


This video is not available in your country.

That is dildoes.
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:17 AM on April 3, 2008 [5 favorites]


This post needs more... well, you know... it needs more zazz!
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:18 AM on April 3, 2008


This video is not available in your country.

That is the most brutal thing I have ever heard.
posted by Drastic at 11:20 AM on April 3, 2008


Try this for coffee.

It doesn't work for me since I'm overseas, but you guys might find it works.

You can also see how to play it, courtesy of Skwisgaard
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:20 AM on April 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


This video is available in our country (kitties).
posted by steef at 11:26 AM on April 3, 2008


Oh thank god. American Know-how and Can-doitness from Steef means you can now be METAL!
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:27 AM on April 3, 2008


The most metal of all kitties.
posted by Sailormom at 11:33 AM on April 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Awesome post, mostly because I'm a huge metal fan! \m/
posted by sir_rubixalot at 11:37 AM on April 3, 2008


Oh. My. God.
Metal is coming out of my nose.
posted by ...possums at 11:39 AM on April 3, 2008


I like Lordi as metal. Even if they wouldn't suit Ed, since they occasionally have a melody.

(that Ed video was some great puppeteering)
posted by jb at 11:53 AM on April 3, 2008


The Supreme Metal Council approves!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:00 PM on April 3, 2008


Guess it falls to me to save the thread with some links to some great recent metal bands.

Bang you head against the stage, and metal takes its price!
posted by vorfeed at 12:11 PM on April 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


I meant "your"
posted by vorfeed at 12:16 PM on April 3, 2008


Fake metal.

Real metal. And kittens.
posted by beelzbubba at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Thanks Ed, my band's called 'Sabbat of the Burning Stoat’s Death Guts'

Lounge Metal Rulz!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:26 PM on April 3, 2008


Alright, you got me in a sort of mood..

Metallica - Four Horsemen - live (Seattle 89)
Motorhead - Ace of Spades - live 04, omg Lemy.
Anthrax - Only -- included for the lovely Headbangers Ball title.

\m/ \m/ \m/ \m/
posted by cavalier at 12:47 PM on April 3, 2008


Metal by Numbers
posted by stifford at 1:04 PM on April 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


How could I forget metal by numbers! 1 2 3! Thank you stifford.
posted by cavalier at 1:12 PM on April 3, 2008


*sigh*

Anthrax was infinitely better with John Bush at the helm. It's a crime that after a four fantastic albums, they kicked him out to bring back Belladonna (who is also entertaining, but can't hold a candle to Bush's vocals.)

Now I'm sad, which is definitely not-metal.
posted by quin at 1:46 PM on April 3, 2008


I enjoy Metalocalypse way more than I ought to.
posted by everichon at 1:51 PM on April 3, 2008


All that link hopping for a really crappy video.
posted by cmgonzalez at 1:56 PM on April 3, 2008


agreed, quin, agreed.

Metalocalypse honestly fades in and out for me. I should like it much more than I do, but I actually find much of the format -- the secret power council always starting off every meeting -- grating.
posted by cavalier at 2:10 PM on April 3, 2008


err episode.
posted by cavalier at 2:13 PM on April 3, 2008


ehh... I understand that Lordi is supposed to be somewhat silly and over-the-top and it shouldn't be taken at all seriously, but I think they completely missed the point even for something as inextricably cheesy like heavy metal.

Their costumes and imagery are not original (Gwar, anyone?), and their music ONLY revives the bad qualities of heavy metal, none of the good. Their songs are slow and boring, and therefore exhibit none of the technical proficiency of their role models. Also, their vocals are such a poor imitation of the growls and screams of the heavier death/black metal acts that they're trying to invoke that they are a parody of themselves, and ONLY of themselves. Not to mention that their lyrics are dumber than the dumbest lyrics in metal, and that is saying a LOT. If they're stupid, they have to be creative and funny (The Black Dahlia Murder, Cannibal Corpse, etc.). Hard Rock Hallelujah... come on, it would have been bad if KISS had done it.

The reason that people like the various outrageous and over-the-top kinds of metal is that, even though it was silly and excessive, the music had some character and intimate understanding of the musical style and imagery. When it goes beyond stupid, cheesy, and funny, its just fucking obnoxious.

The only people laughing are the owners of hot topic, all the way to the bank.
posted by hellslinger at 2:19 PM on April 3, 2008


Yeah but they won Eurovision... rock and roll!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:36 PM on April 3, 2008


This video is not available in your country.

Pfft...the Dutch.
posted by Demogorgon at 3:26 PM on April 3, 2008


Music !
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:52 PM on April 3, 2008


aslef is an anagram of total and complete bastard btw : )
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:55 PM on April 3, 2008


hellslinger
I think you're comparing Lordi to the wrong acts. Lordi isn't trying to emulate the modern black/death metal sounds and speed. It's supposed to be more in the 80s, KISS vein. The leader, Tomi Putaansuu, was the chariman of KISS Army Finland, and the original band members met at a KISS Army meeting. Putaansuu said he was influenced by bands like KISS, Alice Cooper, and Twisted Sister, and has described Lordi's desired sound as "a song made by Kiss back in 1983, covered by Pantera in 1992 and remixed by Puff Daddy".

The reason that people like the various outrageous and over-the-top kinds of metal is that, even though it was silly and excessive, the music had some character and intimate understanding of the musical style and imagery.
Again, I think they do catch the character and style and imagery of the music, it's just different music than what you're thinking. I am not a huge Lordi fan (though I do like them), but I think you're being unfair here.
posted by Sangermaine at 7:32 PM on April 3, 2008


their music ONLY revives the bad qualities of heavy metal, none of the good
It's supposed to be more in the 80s, KISS vein.

I think you two are actually saying the same thing.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:13 AM on April 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


"yeah, i need a hundred beers. exactly a hundred."
"me too."

"vomiting blood? that's not good. i think i need another liver transplant."
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 5:37 AM on April 4, 2008


"I need a drink. Not this one. Another one. And in another place."
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:02 AM on April 4, 2008


Sangermaine,

I don't think your argument holds up because they ARE trying to emulate the growly/screamy vocal style that black and death metal have utilized. Just listen to it, it's growly.

Putaansuu can say what he wants, but I don't hear anything that sounds like the distinguishing characteristics of Pantera that made them different from everyone else. When one hears Pantera, it doesn't take more than a second to identify their signature guitar tone (Randall amps, Bill Laurence Pickups, Darrell's unique touch) and style, as well as the vocal and drumming style. Saying that it has heavy distorted guitars, and therefore sounds like Pantera, is completely specious. Furthermore, Lordi doesn't possess any of the difficult technique or technicality that Pantera had either. I just don't see any resemblance and I don't think anyone else does beyond "heavy distorted guitars".

So the guy wants to make a new KISS for a new Generation, fair enough, if they're successful I wish them the best. I just don't think true hard rock and metal fans who have an intimate appreciation of metal and its various genres and who also don't think that dressing up as a demon is what makes you metal would call them metal and not Glam/cock/butt rock or "heavy metal".

Wolfdog,

Yeah, I think you might be right about that. I've been a hard rock/metal fan since I was really young, and I never could understand the whole KISS "thing". I think one had to grow up during KISS to like it, and if you are a person who doesn't give a damn about stage theatrics, like myself, you don't care about KISS because the songs don't have a lot of merit musically, and they were never intended to.
posted by hellslinger at 9:29 AM on April 4, 2008


In the abstract I'm happy KISS exists because a lot of people seem to enjoy them (which is never any skin off my back) and it leads to comical interviews on Fresh Air. But they're never going to be what I point to as an example of anything I personally find good or interesting in metal.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:47 AM on April 4, 2008


Lordi is not fit to shovel crack in the airship's slave-warrens. Gor-gor comes and they must die!
posted by FatherDagon at 10:14 AM on April 4, 2008


Wait, is this metalfilter?
posted by Mental Wimp at 11:27 PM on April 6, 2008


Wait, is this metalfilter?

We're here to make Meta metal. Blacker than the blackest black times infinity.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:33 AM on April 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Blacker than the blackest black times infinity
posted by Mental Wimp at 3:08 PM on April 10, 2008


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