Make Love to the Dough

April 4, 2008 7:06 AM

How to Make Love to the DoughInstructional video on bread and love making. Portions NSFW.
posted by ghastlyfop (19 comments total)

Also on that page: 9 positions in 3 minutes, where a young man and a bundle of pillows demonstrate...things.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:38 AM on April 4, 2008

I'm not sure I kneaded that...
posted by sourwookie at 7:53 AM on April 4, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Good way to get a yeast infection.
posted by DU at 7:54 AM on April 4, 2008

Fru T. Bunn
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:59 AM on April 4, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

topical, since I'm baking bread today. But, not his bread. I think he hasn't read Harold McGee.
posted by Sam.Burdick at 8:02 AM on April 4, 2008

If it fails to rise, do I need a little blue pill?
posted by sacre_bleu at 8:11 AM on April 4, 2008

Isn't that how bagels are made?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:13 AM on April 4, 2008

WHAT FUCKING IAN GUY?!
posted by splatta at 8:19 AM on April 4, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

OMG gimme whatever he's smoking!
posted by zengargoyle at 8:24 AM on April 4, 2008

I blew my tea all over the the screen watching this. It was awesome! And by that I mean so comically melodramatic it borders on being a B-movie. The soundtrack was great. He's like Deepak Chopra meets Alton Brown.

"You want to make sure you wear all black during this, so you can get flour all over yourself"

"You have to give it a lot of love, some pampering. Some spanking possibly."

Brilliant.
posted by elendil71 at 8:27 AM on April 4, 2008

Coitus!

Really kind of goony, but his bread came out really well.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:30 AM on April 4, 2008

Nothing kills an appetite like a kidney stone discussion.
posted by MsVader at 8:38 AM on April 4, 2008

I can't believe I made it all the way to the end: "This is the kind of bread that Jesus would have broken, this is the kind of bread that Jesus would have been broken by".

I thought that was the end... but it really ends with a discussion of the camera man's kidney stones: "I'm waiting for the kidney stone to make it out of my penis"
posted by splatta at 8:41 AM on April 4, 2008

Ah, you should fast forward through most of this.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:53 AM on April 4, 2008

weapons-grade pandemonium, bagels are made by lifting 150 pounds of dough out of the mixer onto the table and slicing it into strips and feeding it into a bagel making machine (which is finicky)... not so pretty at all. Brain dead stoner work at best, keep your leatherman handy and tweak the machine constantly.... (to much bakery work ;) )
posted by zengargoyle at 8:53 AM on April 4, 2008

Whenever I'm baking bread in quantity, I put on a little Pretty Ricky and invite the members of Peer Pressure around to the house.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:11 AM on April 4, 2008

Paging pastabagel , pagin pastabagel
posted by elpapacito at 9:49 AM on April 4, 2008

zengargoyle: I have a feeling that Vig might have a somewhat different approach.
posted by ssg at 10:20 AM on April 4, 2008

Ew.

Glad I'm on a low-carb diet.
posted by markkraft at 10:45 AM on April 4, 2008