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Chocolate Retard
April 8, 2008 1:32 AM   Subscribe

World's worst tattoo? World's worst tattoo.
posted by jonson (120 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
I think YouTube commenter XoXHaydenXoX3 put it best when he said:

no offence that is te stupidest rthing ever saw any ne do wwhy would u get a tatoo of him and youre girl must be happy if u have one

Truer words have never been spoken.
posted by jonson at 1:34 AM on April 8, 2008 [6 favorites]


Some people prefer to live whimsically. More power to 'em.
posted by gomichild at 1:38 AM on April 8, 2008 [6 favorites]


Still more original than a Chinese glyph.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:44 AM on April 8, 2008 [13 favorites]


To: Genocidal space aliens.
Re: Planetary genocide.

Msg: You're totally late, you fuckers.
posted by loquacious at 1:45 AM on April 8, 2008 [29 favorites]


Ouch
posted by Elmore at 1:50 AM on April 8, 2008


Worst tattoo?

Patriots tattoo disagrees.
posted by Hiding From Goro at 1:50 AM on April 8, 2008 [13 favorites]


Some things are better off left as stupid ideas we had when we were drunk, but didn't do. I concur though, better than a nonsense glyph.
posted by asok at 1:59 AM on April 8, 2008


What if it were a glyph that, unbeknownst to the tattooed, actually meant "chocolate rain"?
posted by Esoquo at 2:02 AM on April 8, 2008


巧克力雨 is the new hawt stoopid
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:08 AM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


The worst tattoo I ever saw was a huge one of Andy Cole in full Newcastle United strip scribed large on the thigh of Geordie supporter Robert Nesbitt. To add insult to injury, just two days after he proudly showed the Magpie legend off to friends and press, Cole transferred to Manchester United...
posted by brautigan at 2:12 AM on April 8, 2008


Nah, bet this guy regrets it more in a few years.
posted by Happy Dave at 2:16 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'd rather have a bruise than have Tay Zonday's asinine lyrics stuck in my head again.
posted by unmake at 2:42 AM on April 8, 2008


The best worst I saw was when Kelly Holmes won her two gold medals in the Olympics, a woman called Emma Fitch got a large tattoo of Ms Holmes on her back. But unfortunately Holmes was spelled "Homes". Fitch was philosophical about it, "It's a permanent tattoo so it can't be changed. But I'm not too bothered because it still sounds like Holmes."

It was on TV when I saw it, but unfortunately can't find a picture, though there is reference to it here.
posted by Elmore at 2:44 AM on April 8, 2008


Better than anything "tribal" or the ubiquitous "ass antlers," but setting that as the bar is so low it may as well be non-existent.
posted by maxwelton at 2:51 AM on April 8, 2008


He's going to feel really silly when he gets frozen in a glacier for 3000 years and has to explain this to whoever digs him out.
posted by 1adam12 at 3:07 AM on April 8, 2008 [6 favorites]


Happy Dave, I think that guy regretted in a few months as IIRC his implants rejected and ended up causing him a very very dangerous infection.
posted by Esoquo at 3:10 AM on April 8, 2008


That is most certainly not a tattoo I would get. On the subject of bad tattoos though, I don't have a damn clue of where I originally found this (although I'm always inclined to say metafilter) and I can't find the forum this was posted on, but I have it in a chat lot:

"These kids from Boston came down to Florida for a few weeks, and have been loving the hell out of it. They love the beaches, they love the theme parks, they love the weather. My friend Charlie was getting tattooed yesterday and I tagged along with the Boston kids who were crashing on his couch out of boredom.

He gets his work done, and we're about to head out, when one of the kids, out of nowhere, is all like "Fuck it" and asks if the artist has time. He does, so Dude #1 gets a forearm piece of Mickey ears, a roller coaster, palm trees, and a space shuttle taking off. His first tattoo ever. Charlie and I are already cracking up because this kid who had never, ever been to Florida just got a pretty big whack-off piece to the Sunshine State.

The his buddy's all "You know what? Fuck it, too." and demands a tattoo of his own to remember florida by. Dude #2's got to outdo his buddy, though, and gets a sunset across his Adam's apple, two pink flamingos with sunglasses near his caratoid arteries, and some plam trees. Full color. Fucking nuts.

I'm hanging out with the Boston kids tonight, totally getting pictures. "

And yes, he apparently did get photos.

That says to me "bad tattoo". It speaks several languages. It also, however, knows how to say "totally fucking hilarious", and it's saying that pretty much nonstop when I see those.
posted by Stunt at 3:19 AM on April 8, 2008 [20 favorites]


Every time there's a tattoo post on metafilter I feel like I have to step in to defend the artform as most people just don't get it.

But you know what? You guys can have this one.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:23 AM on April 8, 2008 [13 favorites]


ah, I linked one twice. One of those is supposed to be this.

Damn posting when I should be sleeping.
posted by Stunt at 3:27 AM on April 8, 2008


It's a good quality tattoo... of a completely idiotic subject.

'Oh he's the man. I vote he gets Rick Astley on the other arm!' - Youtube comments, the gift that keeps on giving
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:39 AM on April 8, 2008


While not a bad tattoo, spending a year getting a big one of a particular wizard* on your back only to have it instantly turned into a gay pride icon shortly afterwards has to be a case of 'if seemed like a good idea at the time.'

*trying not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't read Deathly Hallows yet.
posted by ArkhanJG at 3:39 AM on April 8, 2008 [4 favorites]


In Loving Memory
posted by redteam at 3:58 AM on April 8, 2008 [6 favorites]


Ouch, you know MetaFilter has gone downhill when you see an FPP - and comments - with the same links as you just saw on /b/ two days ago.

Even worse, this thread appears to have overlooked the Zune tattoo, which surely ranks among the worst. And not just the worst tattoo, but one of the worst self-inflicted crimes of all time.
posted by cosmonik at 4:36 AM on April 8, 2008


I don't think you'll ever beat the bloke with goatse on his chest.

And no, I'm not going to google image search for it...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:43 AM on April 8, 2008


Fearfulsymmetry: Now I have the urge to get a big japanese style tat over my back, with the words "never gonna give you up" artfully woven through it.

Every day I'll pray for someone to ask about it.
posted by emperor.seamus at 4:53 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I kind of like the Florida tattoos.
posted by Esoquo at 4:53 AM on April 8, 2008


aaargh, Stunt! That child with the adam's apple flamingos tattoo... oy.
posted by taz at 4:54 AM on April 8, 2008


This has to be one of the worst ever.
posted by MegoSteve at 4:58 AM on April 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


I believe that everyone is forgetting Mr. Cool Ice.
posted by jsonic at 5:05 AM on April 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


Stevo may wish to disagree (Mildly NSFW, tatto starts at 30 seconds in, bonus: Henry Rollins dubbed into German).
posted by zippy at 5:08 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I believe that everyone is forgetting Mr. Cool Ice.

That's because this is a thread about bad tattoos, not totally awesome tattoos so he doesn't have much of a place here.
posted by cmonkey at 5:10 AM on April 8, 2008 [4 favorites]


If this is going to turn into a bad tattoo exchange, here is a pretty good compilation of the most commonly passed around:

NSFW
http://www.springnicht.com/tattoos
NSFW
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:11 AM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


The first Florida tattoo wasn't as bad as the adam's apple.
That artist was pure evil.
And dammit, emperor.seamus, now I've got the Astley line stuck in my head...in Japanese...いつまでもあなたを諦めない~
posted by squasha at 5:12 AM on April 8, 2008


Tay Zonday may be a poor choice of subjects, but the tattoo artist did a really good job.
posted by jsonic at 5:13 AM on April 8, 2008


This will go quite nicely in the Meme Attic along with the Mahir "I Kiss You!" ping-pong paddles and the Numa Numa lyrics.
posted by Spatch at 5:36 AM on April 8, 2008


Monkey butt.
posted by AwkwardPause at 5:37 AM on April 8, 2008 [5 favorites]


Dean Truth Hope '04
posted by Tube at 5:51 AM on April 8, 2008


I think that this tattoo is actually in a heated tie for "Worst Tattoo Ever" with every other tattoo that anyone has ever received.
posted by flarbuse at 5:54 AM on April 8, 2008


I was flipping through the cable channels a while back, and on MTV Canada they had some guy who had a tattoo of one of the veejays on his butt cheek. I don't know the whole back story, but the sense I got was that the guy who got the tattoo did it because he thought it would be "funny". (See also Stunt's post above r.e. the "Florida" tattoos).

Is it just me, or do these people not seem to realise that tattoos are permanent? That the whole point of a tattoo is that it is permanent? And that if you're marking yourself permanently, then you might want to put a little more thought into what's getting drawn?

(No, I don't have to tell kids to get off my lawn. The friggin' landmines do the talkin' for me, thank you.)

posted by spoobnooble at 5:57 AM on April 8, 2008


Is it just me, or do these people not seem to realise that tattoos are permanent? That the whole point of a tattoo is that it is permanent?

I think that makes the Tay tattoo a pretty funny bit of performance art, to memorialize for the rest of your life a quintessential flash-in-the pan not-quite celebrity.

Dead seriously, I've always thought that if I ever did get a tattoo, it would be Pat the Patriot. Let's move that down to a 0% chance from a .0001% chance.
posted by ibmcginty at 6:01 AM on April 8, 2008


Trying to research the Florida neck tattoo kids, which has always struck me as fake (although maybe it's just that my sense of decency is outraged to the point of disbelief) and I came across this gem.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:15 AM on April 8, 2008


There's one pretty safe bet here: at the time it was done, that was absolutely the only Tay Zonday tattoo in the entire world.

Surely, surely, he must get uniqueness points.

I also gotta say -- that's an excellent job on the part of the tattoo artist.
posted by Malor at 6:16 AM on April 8, 2008


Did someone say bad tattoos?

Bad Hanzi tattoos?
posted by bwg at 6:21 AM on April 8, 2008


This totally made my day. That said, I don't think there could ever exist a tattoo that would jump the shark more quickly. Two thumbs up for outrageous acts in the name of comedy, but wow... he's going to be moving into the regret phase like, next week.
posted by fusinski at 6:31 AM on April 8, 2008


Can anyone show me a GOOD looking "photo-realistic" tatoo? All the ones i've seen look cheezy.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 6:35 AM on April 8, 2008


I dunno, this one is up there. NSFW.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v68/j4m35/tm_4.jpg
posted by exlotuseater at 6:53 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


No, my favourite bad one is the penis entirely covered in a dragon. It's easy to google ('tattoo dragon penis'), so I won't link, because it is ridiculously NSFW.

My favourite part is how his erection is captioned 'puff [the magic dragon] in full flight.'

Uther Bentrazor: I was going to pasws around the Badtattoos_4 link myself, but the gallery is password protected, and most of the livejournal community itself is friendlocked.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:08 AM on April 8, 2008


I hate linking to this place, but it's the only place I could find Jack and I really do think it's a GOOD looking "photo-realistic" bit of ink.
posted by squasha at 7:10 AM on April 8, 2008


Wait, dirtdirt, is that Chachi there on that thigh?
posted by thinkpiece at 7:12 AM on April 8, 2008


Worst tattoo? Not by far.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:12 AM on April 8, 2008


Techno: From the thread above this one, this tatoo is all kinds of awesome and, I think, counts.
posted by The Bellman at 7:13 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


While lacking in artistry, I think the Do Not Resuscitate tattoo is pretty badass.
posted by adamrice at 7:15 AM on April 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


One time, in a Party City check-out line, I saw a guy with a tattoo of Weird Al's face from this album cover, and under that the words "Be Yourself!!!"
posted by thebellafonte at 7:16 AM on April 8, 2008


Great, thanks, now that damn song is back in my head again, following a four-five month reprieve.
posted by VicNebulous at 7:16 AM on April 8, 2008


TechnoLusuLuddite: Amazing Ink is really fond of photorealistic artists, among other things. I can't pick one out for you, because I don't know exactly what you mean by cheesy. It's a fun gallery to go through in any case.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:16 AM on April 8, 2008


You want to see bad tattoos? I'll show you bad (NSFW) tattoos (NSFW).
posted by orange swan at 7:16 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ugh. TechnoLUSTLuddite. Not Lusu.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:17 AM on April 8, 2008


World's best tattoo based on a comedy sketch.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:29 AM on April 8, 2008 [10 favorites]


I like how the IE link at the bottom of my screen actually previews the URL before I click on it. I suspect this simple little feature has saved me, over the years, countless hours of deeply personal pain by enabling me to simply bypass anything whose URL features such things as "penis_tattoo" and others far too numerous to mention.

God bless you, Mr Gates. Keep up the good work.
posted by Mike D at 7:30 AM on April 8, 2008


You want to see bad tattoos?

What? That Hello Kitty tattoo is awesome.
posted by delmoi at 7:30 AM on April 8, 2008


This proves to me that some people know they're stupid, and that some of those people are so comfortable with their stupidity that they aspire to the role of village idiot.
posted by Pastabagel at 7:45 AM on April 8, 2008


Earth Crisis Face Tattoo Guy.
posted by The Straightener at 7:59 AM on April 8, 2008


A lot of what people are calling bad tattoos are actually good tattoos, as far as I can tell.

The Florida kids? Well, they're on their own, but the Howard Dean tattoo? I can only assume that this person must have volunteered for Dean, and maybe that was the first time they really felt emotionally invested in a political candidate. It'll become a conversation that person will have with their grandchildren, about politics and the Democratic identity crisis of 2004.

Tay Zonday? Well, Tay will probably be remembered on "I love the 2000s" shows as long as that guy lives. Also, remember that Chocolate Rain was written about Hurricane Katrina, which makes the tattoo an even odder relic of this moment in history.

These tattoos will get more interesting with age. Chinese characters and flowers become boring before the ink is even dry.
posted by roll truck roll at 8:17 AM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


The worse tattoo I've personally seen was a full back tattoo of the cartoon version of the Laural and Hardy... which was so bad I though it was two Charlie Chaplins when I first saw it.

Or perhaps the guy I saw in the post office once with the name of my home town tattooed on his neck.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:20 AM on April 8, 2008


A lot of what people are calling bad tattoos are actually good tattoos, as far as I can tell.

Good and bad have a lot of levels and nuances. The ones I linked to are good in the sense of being inventive and well-designed. We mean bad in the sense of "as permanent body art, DO NOT WANT". A former neighbour of mine, a total little shit who had four foot speakers on his 12th floor balcony and insisted he had every right to blast his obscene, mysognist, and racist "music" from them so loud that every word could be understood from the ground, had the word "fuck" tattooeed on his forearm. Is it a personal expression perfectly suited to him? Yes. But I've got to think that's one career-limiting sartorial choice.
posted by orange swan at 8:26 AM on April 8, 2008


Surely, surely, he must get uniqueness points.

The one who gets "uniqueness points" must be the last kid in America who doesn't have a tattoo.
posted by pracowity at 8:27 AM on April 8, 2008


@ The Bellman:
wow, that dinosaur tat is amazing! I still think photo-realistic tats just look "out of place" on a human body, but that one is a great piece of art. I love the highlights.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 8:35 AM on April 8, 2008


So bad it's good.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:35 AM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


Breafkast dome guy is cool, come on.

The genuinely bad tats so far are ones like the Patriot one (christ..), tits-on-leg guy, and of course, Mr. Cool Ice.
posted by crunch buttsteak at 8:39 AM on April 8, 2008


Oh, it's Darth...er, Chad.
posted by Pecinpah at 8:47 AM on April 8, 2008


So bad it's good.

What? He actually wanted to look like he just had the stuffing beat out of him?
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:49 AM on April 8, 2008


One of my work out buddies got some Kanji on him with another buddy. I saw it before he showed it to me and I'd already decided I was going to have some fun. I knew he didn't know what the tattoo said, only that he'd know what they asked for and that the artist only was inking what the design book said. I also knew he'd believe me if I said I could read it because of the minute amount of Japanese that I did know. I found out what it said through somebody else. I think it was "blood brothers" or something.

I waited for him to roll up his sleeve and show me his nice new tattoo. He tells me about him and his buddy had been through so much together. Before he can tell me what it says I sheepishly ask him why it says "boy friends" rather than something more macho as I point at the script.

I've never seen such a combination of fury and shame. I actually had to confess that I was pulling his leg before he did anything irrational (though, I suppose since he had writing on him that neither him, his friend nor the tattoo artist could actually interpret I could argue it was too late).

It took him a few weeks before he saw the humour in my trick.
posted by substrate at 8:52 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ok, while we're on the topic, i'll mention my bad tattoo story-

Back in high school, when being "strait-edge" was the cool thing to do, one of the hardcore kids decided to get STRAITEDGE tattooed on the back of his neck. But the tattoo artist left out the I, so it said STRATEDGE. He went back and had them squeeze in an I, but of course we called him Strat-edge from then on.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 8:53 AM on April 8, 2008


It doesn't compare with some of the stuff you all have posted so far, but this in my mind is the worst excuse for a tattoo I've personally ever seen.
posted by Lynsey at 8:57 AM on April 8, 2008


Okay...here are some (late) favorites:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

And, keeping up with family traditions...

Exhibit D
posted by VicNebulous at 9:01 AM on April 8, 2008


The Bellman: I was totally expecting that tattoo to keep wrapping around, and turn into this.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:02 AM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


Fuck the systsem
posted by brownpau at 9:04 AM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


While lacking in artistry, I think the Do Not Resuscitate tattoo is pretty badass.
posted by adamrice at 7:15 AM on April 8 [+] [!]


Definitely an awesome idea, in theory. But I learned from one of my CPR classes that often DNR tattoos will be ignored by first responders/EMTs/ER staff, precisely because of their permanence. The general thought (according to people I've taken classes from, anyway) is that a person could radically change their opinion on DNR after the time of getting the tattoo, but due to the permanence, the message would remain.
I'd thought about doing this, but after those classes, decided that a DNR medical bracelet would be more effective.

/derail
posted by the luke parker fiasco at 9:09 AM on April 8, 2008


This is a good example of why "no tattoos until you're thirty" is a pretty good rule of thumb.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:12 AM on April 8, 2008


I'm no inking expert, but that adam's apple tattoo that stunt linked to looks suspiciously like magic marker.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:15 AM on April 8, 2008


Here are some good photorealistic tattoos.
posted by ofthestrait at 9:23 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


My hot yoga instructor is an otherwise normal-seeming woman who has the Johnny G Spinning logo - sort of a stylized bicycle - on her lower back. For years the only corporate logo that people regularly got as a tattoo was Harley Davidson. Yes, I've sen the Apple logos. But the Johnny G Spinning logo? It says to me "I really, really wanted a tattoo but have no clue what to get." As does a bicep tribute to the chocolate rain guy.
posted by fixedgear at 9:44 AM on April 8, 2008


surely someone has an allyourbase tattoo, yeah?
posted by shmegegge at 9:46 AM on April 8, 2008


I think what's worst about this tattoo is that it's essentially a white dude making fun of a black guy who sang (a terribly written song terribly) about the plight of black people.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:19 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I still maintain that for pure examples of 'the stupid' in tattoo form, it's hard to beat the guy I talked about in this comment from last year.

Instead of looking like a hard-ass, he is now (almost literally) branded the exact opposite.
posted by quin at 10:33 AM on April 8, 2008


I'm no inking expert, but that adam's apple tattoo that stunt linked to looks suspiciously like magic marker.

The outlines on the palm tree look right for a recent tattoo as the scab is forming, so I believe it.
posted by cmonkey at 10:43 AM on April 8, 2008


...come out and pla-ay!
posted by I, Credulous at 10:45 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


This thread needs some spooging mermen. (Do I even need to say NSFW?)
posted by Pallas Athena at 11:26 AM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


This thread needs some spooging mermen.

No, it didn't. Goddamnit.
posted by loquacious at 12:07 PM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


I keep imagining these people in their 80s or 90s with these tattoos. Not a pleasant thought, really.
posted by cass at 12:33 PM on April 8, 2008


This reminds me of something Vice Magazine once said, something about having the dumbest thing you've ever said tattooed on your ass is like sacrificing a virgin to the riff gods.
posted by hototogisu at 12:37 PM on April 8, 2008


I guess I'll throw in my awful tattoo. But it's awful in an intentional way!
posted by p3on at 12:48 PM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Dude that is some bad kerning.
posted by Flashman at 1:49 PM on April 8, 2008


A friend of mine once had a one-night stand with a woman who had a crudely drawn tattoo of Bert covering her entire back. Bert as in, "Bert and Ernie." He didn't see it till she got out of the bed the next morning.
posted by brundlefly at 2:34 PM on April 8, 2008



I'm no inking expert, but that adam's apple tattoo that stunt linked to looks suspiciously like magic marker.


Nope its real. Wherever this was first linked had some followup posts and shows the kid a little while later. He has grown longer hair and its curled inward towards his neck, so it covers it a little. Its by far the worst tattoo Ive ever seen. I feel so sorry for this kid and think the artist who did this should be ashamed of himself. I'd be willing to donate money to this kid if he ever decides to get it removed, if its even possible with such bright colors and on such thin skin.

There really should be a 10 day waiting period for neck and face tattoos.
posted by damn dirty ape at 3:56 PM on April 8, 2008


He has grown longer hair and its curled inward towards his neck, so it covers it a little.

I'd have imagined some sort of ZZ-Top style beard... and/or plenty of roll-neck sweaters.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:03 PM on April 8, 2008


So this man is going to be in my nightmares tonight...
posted by fermezporte at 6:16 PM on April 8, 2008


I came for the link, which was bad enough, and stayed for the comments, which had tears of laughter rolling down my face. Thanks, jonson et al, for some delightfully awful ink.

Hello Jesus Kitty? How do people even come up with stuff like that?
posted by Quietgal at 8:32 PM on April 8, 2008


Here's a nice one, for a change of pace.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:54 AM on April 9, 2008


As my girlfriend, a frequent peruser of LJ's badtattoos community, often says: These people need to learn the difference between what would make a good tattoo, and what would make a good t-shirt.
posted by m0nm0n at 5:46 AM on April 9, 2008


Okay, yes I'm perfectly insane, but I was a bit haunted by flamingo neck boy... and couldn't stop wondering how he views that impulsive tat three years later, or if he got it removed, what his employment possibilities/limitations turned out to be... just because... I don't know, I was kind of touched that he was just so overwhelmed with enthusiasm at the wonder of FLORIDA, etc.

And I'm here to tell you it's all okay. Better than okay, really. Pretty great, as far as I can tell. This is the original thread where the photo was posted, and he comments there later (in the month after he got the tattoo) as "ryanz". The post was made in 2005, and the last comment was in February of 08; truly an enduring topic! I followed and searched from there to see if he has any sort of current online presence, and...

Well, these days ryanz (here's his myspace page) still has the tattoo, seems pretty darn happy, and is in a band, Protokoll (site, myspace, wikipedia, youtube) - and they're not bad at all! (At the moment, in fact, I'm downloading the DJ mixtape for a electronic/dance music project called "Nomen" that he did with another Protokoll band member, Jose De Lara. [Link for download])

So... as it turns out - what do you do after getting the world's most regrettable state tattoo? Become a rock god, of course! Seriously though, if you look at his pix in his myspace page, it looks like he's having a ball. I think that wacky wide-eyed enthusiasm ended up serving him pretty well. :)
posted by taz at 6:12 AM on April 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


Ask him again when he's 55 and asking his boss for a raise.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:24 AM on April 9, 2008


Ask somebody who's 55 if they regret all the fun they had when they were 20. /me is creeping up there, still having some fun, though
posted by taz at 6:33 AM on April 9, 2008


Well, your boss won't necessarily know about the boozy, dope-filled days of debauchery 30 years after the fact, but that's a good point.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:42 AM on April 9, 2008


taz, that's a fantastic follow-up--I, like you, am oddly really happy for this guy!
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:20 AM on April 9, 2008


World's best tattoo is a photoshop unless he got the words tattooed on backwards, because that shit is a mirror shot.
posted by tehloki at 11:04 AM on April 9, 2008


tehloki, you've made me so sad. Someone tell me that the guy just flipped the picture in Photoshop so that people could read it?
posted by roll truck roll at 11:16 AM on April 9, 2008


Or he used a photo editor and just and flipped it, but I like your out-of-the-box thinking there, tehloki.
posted by Dave Faris at 11:16 AM on April 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


head, out, now.
posted by Dave Faris at 11:17 AM on April 9, 2008


This is the best thread in the history of ever. I laughed, I cried, I gasped, and somehow, my tramp stamp seems noble by comparison...
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:20 AM on April 9, 2008


My callout of the world's best tattoo as fake does not simply rest on the right-ways-facing letters. The shit does not look fresh fresh, like all tattoos do when people take pictures of them when they get them for lulz. It looks to be of different dpi than the arm. Most of all, this is the only picture of said tattoo that has ever surfaced and it is decidedly too low-res to make a sound judgement on. All points to somebody pulling a clever fake.
posted by tehloki at 2:09 PM on April 9, 2008


Or maybe I'm just jealous that he was way more hardcore than me and my small lineart of pipboy flashing the Fonzie on my left shoulderblade.
posted by tehloki at 2:10 PM on April 9, 2008


Real or not, the world's best tattoo doesn't have any notes shooting out of the necks of Bowser's guitar.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:24 PM on April 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ask him again when he's 55

I hear this kind of comment a lot, but I've never actually witnessed this pattern of oldfolx who live in shame and regret about getting a tattoo.

Seriously, does this stale archetype of long-suffering, inked-up oldfolk actually exist outside of schoolmarmish anti-tattoo rhetoric?
posted by dgaicun at 3:49 PM on April 9, 2008


I have a lot of friends who have a lot of tattoos. A couple of my more visibly tattooed friends have mentioned that, now that they're a little older (nowhere near 55), they wish they didn't have them. And the thriving business in laser tattoo removal suggests they're not alone. I'm not anti-tattoo, but there it is.
posted by adamrice at 3:58 PM on April 9, 2008


Nah, I really don't have anything against people getting tattoos, and I don't automatically expect the average inker to feel regret when they get older. But I do expect a person who gets a tattoo of two cartoon birds in fluorescent colors on his throat to feel it. On the other hand, as taz pointed out, the fact that he got it indicates that he's just the kind of person not to be bothered by such trivialities.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:00 PM on April 9, 2008


Bad gamer tattoos.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:23 PM on April 11, 2008


No, the worst is still Steve-O.
posted by Leon-arto at 12:34 AM on April 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


raise and call.
posted by I, Credulous at 12:56 PM on April 22, 2008


orange swan beat you to it, Credulous.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:29 PM on April 22, 2008


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