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"I'll blow yer f**king head off!"
April 8, 2008 7:31 PM   Subscribe

The dangers of being a TV news reporter. A guaranteed context-free three-minute montage of television field reports gone awry.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (63 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite

 
You had me at Geraldo getting slapped.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:35 PM on April 8, 2008


I feel guilty for giggling. The lady around 2:23 ("And if you want something to happen to you--") was my favorite.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:41 PM on April 8, 2008


This is great.

(nice tag, by the way.)
posted by flatluigi at 7:42 PM on April 8, 2008


This makes me wonder how many shots of people doing nsfTV things in front of the glass windowed Today Show studios are sitting around at NBC.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:43 PM on April 8, 2008


Ok, that was nonstop awesome, except for the grape-stomping lady which we've all seen and kind of makes me feel horrible to see (and especially hear -- it sounds so painful) -- kind of a downer to have that near the end.

But WHAT happened to the reporter on the back of the truck in clip #3 when the motorbike goes by???
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:45 PM on April 8, 2008


holy shit

that shit is amazing

god damn, the schadenfreude is overwhelming.
posted by dismas at 7:48 PM on April 8, 2008


Man, I've had the sled thing happen to me before (at about 2:34). That's no fun at all!
posted by dismas at 7:50 PM on April 8, 2008


Ok, also mondo impressive backflip on the snow. I mean, wow.

But I think my absolute favourite moment is after the second "I'll blow your fuckin' head off!", the look the reporter gives the camera for just a split second.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:51 PM on April 8, 2008


Oh - great post. The lols flowed freely as I watched.
posted by item at 7:54 PM on April 8, 2008


Man something about Gawker's FLV player just nukes this machine for no apparent reason. Like 1 fps, audio totally out of sync, like the bad old days of web video.
posted by Skorgu at 7:54 PM on April 8, 2008


Are you shitting me, no mention of my boy Larry Richette?
posted by The Straightener at 8:00 PM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


I kept waiting for Pinky but then I remembered the guy wasn't a reporter.

Still probably the best unexpected animal attack caught on film.
posted by gottabefunky at 8:01 PM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


From the Gawker comments:

By the way - the next time you're at a TV station, walk into a room called "master control" and ask the techs to see the "gore reel". There's some shit on there no one should ever see, from self-inflicted gunshot wounds during live pressers, to people jumping off buildings and getting impaled on wrought-iron fences, and some other Faces Of Death shit.

That creeps me the fuck out.
posted by danb at 8:06 PM on April 8, 2008


Yeah, Pinky just made me about shit myself.
posted by The Straightener at 8:08 PM on April 8, 2008


So the guy who gets the crap scared out of him by the leaping lizard at the end was so funny I had to track down the whole clip. Here it is. I just can't stop laughing. I can't.
posted by The Bellman at 8:14 PM on April 8, 2008


Poor pinky-- it looks like he got his claw caught on his leash when he jumped up on the guy's shoulder. Then, instead of taking stock of the situation and getting the cat untangled, Chuckles the TV Dude decided that the best course of action was start yanking at the leash like it was a fishing line and Pinky was a @#$ Coho salmon. That must have hurt like a sum'bitch. If Chuckles'd taken two seconds to think, IMO, he wouldn't have gotten-- what he got. As stands, I think he and Pinky are about even.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 8:23 PM on April 8, 2008


Okay, I have to say I was expecting to see just a string of amusing hijinx (many of which were, indeed, amusing!), but was a little disturbed to see so many serious accidents without context. Trampled-by-horse guy? The reporter winged (yeah, yeah) by an airplane? Those could easily have been fatal accidents. (How would one even find out?)

Call me overly squeamish, but I'd kinda like the choice as to whether or not to be party in death-voyeurism, thanks.

(goodnewsfortheinsane, this is not in any way meant as a criticism of the FPP itself.)



On a happier note, here's too much context on the reporter attacked by the cat. It's completely silly, but since the almost certain result of the media attention is that the cat will get adopted (and hopefully several others as well!), I can't say as I mind. Kudos to the reporter for being good-humored about both the swipe and the media/net frenzy, as well.
posted by bettafish at 8:25 PM on April 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


A few of those clips were pretty freaky, actually. Hard not to believe no one got hurt.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:25 PM on April 8, 2008


But WHAT happened to the reporter on the back of the truck in clip #3 when the motorbike goes by???

She suffered burns and temporary hearing loss, which led to her successful lawsuit against the BBC.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:26 PM on April 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


You had me at Geraldo getting slapped.

Better than that--it's John Stossel.
posted by washburn at 8:28 PM on April 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


Results on YouTube for "bloopers" are a little more gentle...
posted by KokuRyu at 8:30 PM on April 8, 2008


"And if you want something to happen to you-"

Indeed.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:34 PM on April 8, 2008


Sorry, this is my last post, but...

Reporter startled by run-by farting
posted by KokuRyu at 8:35 PM on April 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, DON'T FUCK WITH SID VICIOUS!
posted by lattiboy at 8:37 PM on April 8, 2008


Like 1 fps, audio totally out of sync,

Ditto. Worthless for me.
posted by dgaicun at 8:40 PM on April 8, 2008


The snake (err, lizard) guy is awesome. (Although I call shenanigans on the link to the full version that a "black guy on the news is scared...")

Some of 'em are cliche, but this video reminds me of this compilation (slightly NSFW, but who surfs Metafilter and Youtube at work?), which is just of news bloopers. If you can get past the tired and lame ones, there are some absolutely hilarious sections.
posted by fogster at 8:45 PM on April 8, 2008


The reporter winged (yeah, yeah) by an airplane? Those could easily have been fatal accidents. (How would one even find out?)

A quick google search for "reporter hit by airplane" turns up this, which gives a little more than just the nut-grabbing 2 seconds of horror.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:47 PM on April 8, 2008


Oh, KokoRyu. You have slayed me with that one. The timing. The sweet, sweet timing. I want to know the backstory. Did he have time to set this up? Was it spur of the moment? Oh, I am thirteen years old still.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:47 PM on April 8, 2008


A few of those clips were pretty freaky, actually. Hard not to believe no one got hurt.

I'm not sure no one did. Apart from the woman who had burns/temporary hearing loss, that guy getting hit by the horse could have been in some pretty serious trouble. And what the heck happened to the guy after him, who looked like he got hit by - what was it, chalk balls or something dropped out of the plane? What was up with that?

I really liked the reporter who flipped out at getting pied. Talk about not looking on the light side of things. But I just feel bad for the woman who got snowplowed. That must have sucked. And the guy with the groin snake - funniest of them all.
posted by Dasein at 8:52 PM on April 8, 2008


Er, should have previewed.
posted by Dasein at 8:53 PM on April 8, 2008


Oh, shit! He didn't get hit by the dropping things - he got hit by the wing?! And lived! What a lucky guy.
posted by Dasein at 8:54 PM on April 8, 2008


I know the grape fall one is old and pretty terrible, but I never get tired of it. I love it so much that it turned into a little thing with some friends that whenever something mildly bad happens to one of us (like getting splashed by a passing car) we make that "ogh ogh ogh" sound in a deep, gravely voice.
posted by Falconetti at 9:04 PM on April 8, 2008


"gravelly" not "gravely" (ask me tomorrow and I shall be a grave man)
posted by Falconetti at 9:05 PM on April 8, 2008


Looking at a bit more of the snowplow lady, looks like she took it all in stride.
posted by netbros at 9:10 PM on April 8, 2008


Dave Faris, you are awesome! Wow, he didn't just live, he basically made it out with no serious injuries (and got a plane ride).

Hmm, no luck with trampled-by-horse guy. Unsurprising given the language barrier, I guess, but frustrating.
posted by bettafish at 9:11 PM on April 8, 2008


Did he have time to set this up? Was it spur of the moment?

The fart was added.

(as an aside, do you ever wonder at the sentences you find yourself saying?)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:13 PM on April 8, 2008 [4 favorites]


Dave Faris>A quick google search for "reporter hit by airplane" turns up this, which gives a little more than just the nut-grabbing 2 seconds of horror.

Thanks Dave. I'm glad the guy survived and even now seems to have a bit of a sense of humour about it. That hit was horrible. There was way to much genuine hurt and pain to people just trying to do their job for much schadenfreude in this video. 30 seconds from hahah, that guy fell down in the snow to.. geez... that guy is... just laying there... and not moving. :/
posted by adamt at 9:23 PM on April 8, 2008


The fart was added.

STOP CRUSHING MY DREAMS
posted by Bookhouse at 9:26 PM on April 8, 2008 [7 favorites]


but this video reminds me of this compilation

"...the rise in violent CRI-!" -- I think I've woken the neighbourhood. HAHAHAHAHAHHAA.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:26 PM on April 8, 2008


(especially how it effectively turns into Benny Hill after that. god, I'm sorry. I can't stop talking about this)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:28 PM on April 8, 2008


Oh I loves me some Max Ex.

Holy crap, look what his head did to the wing of the plane.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:19 PM on April 8, 2008


I'm with adamt. I just couldn't make it through three minutes of people being burnt, crushed and knocked unconscious. (I never liked Jack-Ass either).

Thanks to The Bellman for separating out the one genuinely funny moment in this video.
posted by Popular Ethics at 10:41 PM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is hysterical. I can add it to the least of reasons I'm looking into print journalism rather than broadcast. "Smaller chance of getting attacked by dogs/hit by planes/blown up."
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:56 PM on April 8, 2008


After reading the wiki article on the reporter that was burned by the fireworks, it looks like things didn't get better for her: Her new show on BBC-3: "Help me Anthea - I'm infested."
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:02 PM on April 8, 2008


A quick google search for "reporter hit by airplane" turns up this

My god, I dont know whats more harrowing, the fact that this guy could have been killed or the editing and reporting "style" of that linked piece.
posted by damn dirty ape at 11:03 PM on April 8, 2008


The best part about grape-stompin' woman is the reporters afterwards.

"Ooooh, I think she's really hurt."
"Yeah, I think she really is. Yowch."
"Yeah, she took a bad fall."
posted by evilcolonel at 11:10 PM on April 8, 2008


MetaFilter: The fart was added.




Wow, it's really late.
posted by ZakDaddy at 12:03 AM on April 9, 2008


How hard is flash video these days? Won't play for me. If you download http://cache.gawker.com/assets/video/news_reporters.flv directly and use an FLV player you might get a better frame rate. I did, just barely.
posted by dhartung at 12:09 AM on April 9, 2008


3:05 into this one had me ROTFLMAO. I was literally in pain. It's Icelandic or something, but obviously a very grave topic, hence the crying girl in the wheelchair and all, but that voice...
posted by wsg at 12:52 AM on April 9, 2008


Looking at it again, it's gotta be fake.
posted by wsg at 12:58 AM on April 9, 2008


wsg: yeah, it is..
posted by suedehead at 2:31 AM on April 9, 2008


That's disappointing. I was just commenting say I thought it was real and the presenter had lost his job, then preview saved me.
posted by vbfg at 2:37 AM on April 9, 2008


I'm pretty sure the bit about the Edison cylinder on TechTV is fake, too, though Chris Pirillo (the host) isn't divulging any secrets, and the jury was still out on Metafilter in 2003.
posted by Dave Faris at 2:46 AM on April 9, 2008


This is all well and good, gnfti, and yes, thanks for inventing the much needed singlelinkpost tag. But for multi-level schadenfruede at TV reporter expense, nothing beats watching Michelle Obama lead a smilin' Stevie Wonder, by the hand, into a real fall, after Oprah whips up the crowd. Bless my cynical soul, that just works, on soooooo many levels.

Maybe I get too personal a kick out of this, after shooting dozens of stand ups of competing reporters around Nashville, where Oprah and her crew, in her salad days, would inevitably try to hog the best shot angles.

Nah. Cameraman and news director Rule #1: Talent getting embarrassed is always funny.

posted by paulsc at 3:27 AM on April 9, 2008


People falling over and hurting themselves never gets old for me... and some of those I've never even seen before. Wow, I've not wasted as much time on the internet as I thought I had!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:03 AM on April 9, 2008


But WHAT happened to the reporter on the back of the truck in clip #3 when the motorbike goes by???

The silver lining to Anthea Turner's accident is that the subsequent lawsuit and negative publicity triggered a review of BBC's approach to TV production health and safety.

A detailed analysis of the many mistakes made during that shot is part of the risk management training which is now mandatory for anybody involved in filming for the BBC.

During that training you're submitted to a 10 minutes video of 'things that went wrong', but there's nothing in it is as horifying as the plane 'incident' in this post.
posted by blogenstock at 4:26 AM on April 9, 2008


Does Pirillo really have a voice that high-pitched? Yikes.
posted by grubi at 6:43 AM on April 9, 2008


I feel his pain. Richard Whiteley and the ferret.
posted by essexjan at 6:54 AM on April 9, 2008


essexjan, that happened to me at a pet store. There was a cute little ferret in a box and I said "Does he bite? Can I pet him?" She said "No, he doesn't bite. Go ahead." CHOMP!
posted by wsg at 7:34 AM on April 9, 2008


Jesus Christ... that motorbike explosion is like something out of the goddamn Muppet Show... brilliant!
posted by BobFrapples at 9:31 AM on April 9, 2008


Like Skorgu, Gawker's player just doesn't want to play nice with my machine; I get virtually no video, but perfect sound. Which actually really enhances the WTF-ness of all this:

"Hey, if you want something to happen to you [crash/ explosion?]"

"A few years ago one boy actually..[voice lost] [maniacal laughter]"

"Texas rat snakes are gonna be one of the largest snakes you that find in the metroplex area [gasp followed by terrified gurgling]"


My imagination is filling in the blanks in really dark, horrible, and hilarious ways.
posted by quin at 9:40 AM on April 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


Disclosure: I've actually seen the 'Texas rat snake' clip before, but it's much more horrible sounding when all you have is the audio
posted by quin at 9:43 AM on April 9, 2008


Wow, I didn't think anything could be slower or more annoying than Youtube, but Gawker is 50 times worse!
posted by Sukiari at 7:28 PM on April 10, 2008


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