Tu es Petrus

April 15, 2008 10:28 AM

After breaking the ice with his video message to all Americans, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI arrives in Washington, D.C. this afternoon for the initial part of his first Papal visit to the United States of America. Watch it all live.

Popes traveling abroad rely largely on planning by the local dioceses they visit, which has proven unworkable at times for Pope Benedict's new Master of Ceremonies. (Because you just never know what the locals have planned for you to wear.)

His visit to Washington includes plans for a visit to the White House; an interfaith gathering; a meeting with the bishops of the United States; an address to the presidents of Catholic colleges and universities at the Pope's own university, Catholic U., in what some are heralding as the key moment during B16's visit; and Mass at the new Washington Nationals baseball stadium.

(There seems to be a fairly long tradition of popes--each pope is "Sovereign Ruler of the Vatican City State," after all--meeting with presidents.)

His New York schedule includes plans to address the United Nations; meet with Jewish leaders at a NY synagogue; celebrate Mass with local priests, deacons and religious; meet with children with disabilities (video); participate in a rally with youth--who've designed a skateboard for the pope--and seminarians; visit Ground Zero, where he will read a prayer for all the souls who perished on 9/11; and celebrate Mass at Yankee Stadium.

Oh, and Papa Ratzinger will also be turning a spry 81 tomorrow.
He returns to the Vatican on April 20, presumably to play with his cats.

posted by resurrexit (36 comments total)

/me dons big foam finger and pope hat with beer holder
posted by DU at 10:36 AM on April 15, 2008

1. I thought it said "His Hotness".

2. He looks like Lord Sideous
posted by dasheekeejones at 10:38 AM on April 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Couldn't he just mail Dick Cheney his new light sabre?
posted by RavinDave at 10:38 AM on April 15, 2008 [8 favorites has favorites]

And for DC residents, this traffic info page could prove to be VERY useful.
posted by inigo2 at 10:42 AM on April 15, 2008

I wonder if His Holiness will reach out to youth with that skateboard.
posted by anthill at 10:46 AM on April 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I love how the irony has faded from the term "popemobile." Now that's just what it is instead of why it's funny.
posted by cowbellemoo at 11:00 AM on April 15, 2008

"Ashamed" Pope vows no more pedophile priests, pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, Royals will sweep St. Louis in 2008 World Series.
posted by cog_nate at 11:03 AM on April 15, 2008

*looks at map*

First reaction: Crap, that looks like it'll affect my morning commute pretty much every day.

Second reaction: A 5 minute PopeMobile procession. Huh.
posted by Tehanu at 11:05 AM on April 15, 2008

Whenever I think about how conservative Pope... uh, what's his name again? Anyway, I sometimes think that it's terrible how conservative and reactionary this new Pope is.

Then I remember that I'm not a Catholic, so big whoop-de-do. Although I suppose if RC is good enough for Tony Blair and Graham Greene, there must be something to it.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:09 AM on April 15, 2008

Is this something I might care about more if I were a member of an organized religion and / or a pedophile?
posted by docpops at 11:13 AM on April 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

great post, btw
posted by docpops at 11:16 AM on April 15, 2008

NPR has a big piece on the Pope on the weekend. Like fundamentalist Muslims, the Pope is apparently not targeting other faiths but secularism itself as the biggest challenge the Catholic church faces in the next hundred years (their comparison, not mine).

Anyway, he lack the charisma of John Paul II. My old 'hood in Toronto still has the statue of JP2 up and I think the Polish people there still regard him as Pope and are not so into the New Guy.
posted by GuyZero at 11:17 AM on April 15, 2008

The Pope has to like cats. I mean, he's Catholic, right?
posted by jabberjaw at 11:19 AM on April 15, 2008

The Fox "news" trailers for the Pope's visit have been the most insufferably mawkish and manipulative rot I've ever seen. Enough to put this profoundly happy & grateful immigrant to the US quite off the entire country for a few minutes...
posted by Jody Tresidder at 11:21 AM on April 15, 2008

When you've got as long and unpleasant a background as Cardinal Ratzinger does, you don't get to change your name and leave it all behind. To me the man's Pope Ratzinger.
posted by gurple at 11:27 AM on April 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

In the waning days of World War II, as the Germans found their backs against the wall, a young Hitler Youth was pressed into military service and shipped to Poland to try to stem the Soviet advance.

One day, as he waited in his foxhole for the enemy, a Polish priest, only a few years older than himself, started to walk through his line of fire. The young soldier began to aim at the priest, afraid it was a Russian trap, but his own Catholic faith made him doubt what he was about to do.

Suddenly, the Lord spoke to the young soldier: "Spare the priest, my son."

The German lad was shaken to be directed so by God himself. "What did you say, O Father?"

"Spare the priest. One day this man will rule over the entire church as Pontiff."

The words did not dissuade the soldier. In fact, he placed his finger on the trigger and began to squeeze...

"Alright! Alright!" exclaimed God. "Spare the Pollack and I'll make you Pope, too!"
posted by briank at 11:48 AM on April 15, 2008 [7 favorites has favorites]

"Ashamed" Pope vows no more pedophile priests, pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, Royals will sweep St. Louis in 2008 World Series.

Hey now! That last one is at least possible.
posted by spock at 12:03 PM on April 15, 2008

I was supposed to see the Mets play the Nats in DC tomorrow, as part of a whirlwind baseball-gambing-baseball bachelor party. Instead, I'm seeing them here at Shea, and everybody else is going to ... an Orioles game? Really?

So fuck the Pope.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:11 PM on April 15, 2008

Ah, how wonderful! A man who lives in gold-splendored regality comes to America to tell us all about the teachings of a man who said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." A man who would excommunicate homosexuals and women who hae abortions comes to America to tell us all about the teachings of a religion which instructs us that "judgment is mine, sayeth the Lord."

Did he get a new hat?
posted by WCityMike at 12:56 PM on April 15, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

HOPE vs. POPE
posted by Kabanos at 1:25 PM on April 15, 2008

20 bucks for anyone that throws a pie in his face.
posted by puke & cry at 1:38 PM on April 15, 2008

visit Ground Zero, where he will read a prayer for all the souls who perished on 9/11

What, all of them? Lousy terrorist-lovin' pope.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 1:38 PM on April 15, 2008

all the souls who perished on 9/11

souls perish?
posted by quonsar at 2:28 PM on April 15, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

puke & cry said: 20 bucks for anyone that throws a pie in his face.

I'll double up on that action. I'm in for 20. Except that I think sweet, sweet innocent pie would just glance off his shield of pure evil. That guy scares me. I miss the old pope. Him, I liked. The new guy....he's just DarthPope, he is.
posted by dejah420 at 2:47 PM on April 15, 2008

After the date on the tin, yes.
posted by cortex at 2:48 PM on April 15, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Really, you can keep the pope, man, no need to return it. We don't mind. mi papa es tu papa

Karol Wojtyła: that was an intersting fella with interesting friends.
posted by darkripper at 3:04 PM on April 15, 2008

There are some very happy people on the local newscasts, seemingly delirious with happiness over being able to go to the public Mass at the new stadium on Thursday. It would have been interesting to go to see him - just to say I did. But the limited tickets are going to people who actually care (and rightfully so).

I guess I'll just try to track his progress by watching the news helicopters from my office window in Rosslyn the next few days, and avoid going into town at all costs...
posted by gemmy at 3:42 PM on April 15, 2008

In case anyone else is digging around for the now infamous bobblehead Pope ad from the DC Metro: here it is.
posted by Tehanu at 8:00 PM on April 15, 2008

Note: bobblehead Pope Benedict appearing serenely in frame as he ascends the Metro escalator is just about my favorite thing ever, even if he is unauthorized merchandise and inappropriately clothed.
posted by Tehanu at 8:05 PM on April 15, 2008

For intense liturgy criticism go here.

Ah, how wonderful! A man who lives in gold-splendored regality comes to America to tell us all about the teachings of a man who said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Umm... you do understand that he doesn't really own all that stuff personally... Legally he does... but it's held in trust for future generations. It's not even like the Queen of England with the private income and the public income... with the Pope it's all public income. And I haven't seen anything to suggest that his life is particularly luxurious. It's not as if he's lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills...

A man who would excommunicate homosexuals and women who hae abortions comes to America to tell us all about the teachings of a religion which instructs us that "judgment is mine, sayeth the Lord."

Yes... it does instruct us that... but also "Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

not sure why I'm letting myself be drawn into this
posted by Jahaza at 6:35 AM on April 16, 2008

> Umm... you do understand that he doesn't really own all that stuff personally...

That really doesn't matter. If a CEO lives high on the hog simply because his corporation furnishes him with them as a perk, it's still a voluntary choice by the CEO to accept that perk and to live in that opulence. How much money could the Catholic Church channel into the billions of humanity who need food, water, cures, etc. if it sold its riches, settled for less ornate church structures, etc.?

> And I haven't seen anything to suggest that his life is particularly luxurious. It's not as if he's lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills...

Pope thrones. Pope-mobile. Pope staff. Pope robes. Pope hats. Paintings of Pope. Luxury suites as housing.

> Yes... it does instruct us that... but also "Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

Yeah, er, no, I'll take the "ye without sin cast the first stone" don't-stone-the-whore passage and "judgment is mine" verses. Lot more clearer message.
posted by WCityMike at 7:20 AM on April 16, 2008

"More clearer"? Me speakest English rilly rilly goodish.
posted by WCityMike at 7:26 AM on April 16, 2008

Well, if we're just to start slinging verses around, here goes: Matt 26:7-10: "a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head, as he sat at table. But when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, "Why this waste? For this ointment might have been sold for a large sum, and given to the poor." But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, "Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me."

If that ain't more clearer, I don't know what is.

But you're right, they should sell off the Vatican Library so the works therein can be split up and go into private hands and be lost forever so that poor people can have money. Ask USAID how that's been working out for them. But I see where you're coming from.
posted by resurrexit at 8:00 AM on April 16, 2008

Yeah, well, Daniel 8:20: "The ram which thou sawest having two horns are the kings of Media and Persia." So, you know.

I'll let myself out.
posted by cortex at 8:50 AM on April 16, 2008

I don't think Christianity would have ever gotten off the ground if it wasn't based on a set of texts that have inherent contradictions. If we can't throw Bible verses at each other as debate, what do we talk have left to talk about?

Oh, yeah. Everything else.
posted by Tehanu at 9:01 AM on April 16, 2008

I always wondered, if the Vatican ever held this hypothetical garage sale... who exactly would even be able to afford it? I figure that the religious art market would just plummet, right along with raw metal and minerals (if someone decided to take advantage of the fungible nature of gold/jewels). Who else but the Vatican would even have a need for all those chasubles and pattens and croziers?

It would be the ultimate white elephant sale!
posted by ntartifex at 7:58 PM on April 16, 2008