Comments on: I'm With Stupid ---->

I'm With Stupid ---->

Muddler — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:45:57 -0800

The self-proclaimed "most trusted name in news", CNN, has launched its beta t-shirt store. Finally, for $15 plus shipping and tax you can buy direct from CNN branded t-shirts with such wonderful headlines as: "Dad mistakes son for prey, shoots" and "Free prom dresses honor girl's memory." If that's not enough, yes, you can share your new purchase on Facebook, and grab your 15 minutes of fame by posting pictures of yourself in your newly acquired apparel on CNN's quasi-news ireport system (link not yet live, but I'm waiting with much anticipation).

Let's just hope that CNN gives credit where credit is due - to the Weekly World News, forerunner in t-shirt headlines. Just remember CNN, don't start ripping off other people's images and photoshopping in aliens shaking hands with Bill Clinton to bolster t-shirt sales, or you'll get sued.

By: mecran01

mecran01 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:49:58 -0800

My favorite.

By: graventy

graventy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:52:27 -0800

So, no one will buy a real one, right? They're planning on only selling goofy fake ones? .. Didn't CNN used to be a trusted name for news?

By: designbot

designbot — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:56:18 -0800

See, it's funny because one girl was killed in a car crash delivering prom dresses, and another guy accidentally shot and killed his 8-year-old son two days ago! Get it?

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:56:39 -0800

Meh. CNN's got to do a lot of running to catch up with the New York Post New York Post.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:00:58 -0800

Do they have Bat Boy shirts too?

By: onalark

onalark — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:04:24 -0800

In case it isn't apparent to everyone from mecran01's link, the t-shirt logo generator is easily compromised, all you have to do is insert your own 'headline' in to the URL. 5 favorites says this will be down within the hour.

By: designbot

designbot — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:05:35 -0800

Adding to the horribleness of this idea, someone is rewriting the headlines after they are deemed "t-shirt-worthy." Free prom dresses Dad shoots son by mistake CNN fails at internet

By: onalark

onalark — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:07:14 -0800

for example

By: Science!

Science! — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:08:01 -0800

I saw these this morning and laughed a good hearty laugh, then turned on NPR. That URL hack is the greatest!

By: smackfu

smackfu — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:12:29 -0800

Is this really a frequently asked question? "I took my CNN shirt on vacation and I have great pictures. Where can I send them?"

By: cobra libre

cobra libre — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:16:28 -0800

What's bad is that "YOU NEED A HEART TO LIVE" (all caps) doesn't fit on a shirt. What's worse is that you can't add a shirt with a hacked headline to the shopping cart anyway.

By: Keith Talent

Keith Talent — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:21:32 -0800

Needs a Richard Quest meth/sextoy in boot/ rope tied around genitals t-shirt to get my Visa out of my pocket.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:22:21 -0800

Here's a headline from today's New York Daily News that I totally misread. After all, I would call my honeymoon audible. Extremely audible.

By: Spatch

Spatch — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:34:43 -0800

Aw, it really is too bad you can't buy a custom hax t-shirt, otherwise "IDIOT SPENDS MONEY ON NEEDLESS BRANDED MERCHANDISE" would make for a great CNN Financial headline shirt.

By: graventy

graventy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:49:35 -0800

CNN headlines have always been dumb, as shown by WTFCNN?

By: rusty

rusty — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:51:36 -0800

I Just Saw It On CNN!

By: ryanhealy

ryanhealy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:57:24 -0800

If I was on the verge of suicide, this might put me over the top.

By: rusty

rusty — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:01:30 -0800

Good lord. This one is actually real, and so is odd placed out of context on a t-shirt that it's almost worth buying.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:08:59 -0800

Fertility science marches on Domestic tragedy in Arkansas

By: quonsar

quonsar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:12:32 -0800

yawn...

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:17:19 -0800

INVISIBLE SCODY

By: zippy

zippy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:21:03 -0800

on the presidential elections

By: Leon-arto

Leon-arto — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:27:24 -0800

No potential for abuse here at all.

By: empath

empath — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:28:33 -0800

I think this would be really cool for metafilter.

By: six-or-six-thirty

six-or-six-thirty — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:29:47 -0800

This. Is. Hilarious.

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:39:05 -0800

We should make a pony request.

By: cashman

cashman — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:39:43 -0800

I cannot stop giggling at zippy's. Oh CNN, you glorious fools. Probably should order quick before they fix it.

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:46:35 -0800

Ah, the classics. Do they make shoes?

By: anomie

anomie — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:50:46 -0800

I wish you could order the fake ones.

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:53:37 -0800

Convenient and guaranteed

By: 23skidoo

23skidoo — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:56:08 -0800

I would* buy this, if they let me. *would not

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:01:08 -0800

PepCNN Blue.

By: etaoin

etaoin — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:04:41 -0800

CNN: The most busted name in news.

By: namespan

namespan — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:10:32 -0800

I don't get it. Is CNN really trying to become The Onion? Sometimes I don't know if Tom Lehrer was right when he said satire was obsolete, or if he hadn't seen anything yet.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:17:13 -0800

You know, it's oddly refreshing to see the term "beta" in a context where it actually refers to buggy, pre-release content.

By: CitrusFreak12

CitrusFreak12 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:29:12 -0800

Damnit, I came here to post this and saw I was beaten to the punch in the very first comment. Well done, sir, well done.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:34:02 -0800

I'd prefer t-shirts featuring news ticker headlines from CNNNN.

By: ericb

ericb — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:47:45 -0800

Cortex's Favorite T-Shirt.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:50:07 -0800

You should really put it into headline format, though.

By: ericb

ericb — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:55:24 -0800

Beans, Beans, Good for the Heart.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:10:05 -0800

ericb: considering that beans are not gendered and may therefore be thought of as sexually fluid, transgender or genderqueer, your phrase "a plate of fucking beans" contains an implicit normative heterosexual monogamist agenda that some might find hegemonic & inappropriate.

By: wemayfreeze

wemayfreeze — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:20:05 -0800

Best CNN headline ever (first one). I'm taking suggestions for how to read it.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:38:27 -0800

wemayfreeze: was that a serious question, or a setup for a joke? the actual story was that the coach of the pakistan cricket team was found dead in his hotel room shortly after the team had been knocked out of the cricket world cup. the death was suspicious, so the local police took the DNA of the team as part of their investigation. it does read nicely, though, in a Terror Couple Kill Colonel kind of way.

By: saraswati

saraswati — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:45:49 -0800

I especially love that you can modify the return_uri parameter and it doesn't bat an eye. I can't wait until someone sends one of my computer unsavvy relatives a link to a CNN t-shirt with a link to a malicious website. Most trusted name in news indeed.

By: saraswati

saraswati — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:55:16 -0800

Case in point (this link isn't malicious, but you can see how it could be) Why don't companies think before they put stuff on the internet?

By: Auden

Auden — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:59:15 -0800

I want one with my favorite quote by CNN's Kyra Phillips: "Doctor, does he understand why this war took place? Has he talked about Operation Iraqi Freedom and the meaning. Does he understand it?'"

By: ao4047

ao4047 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:15:45 -0800

Anderson Cooper is my future ex-husband.

By: sparkletone

sparkletone — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:30:51 -0800

So true.

By: wemayfreeze

wemayfreeze — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:35:23 -0800

Ubu, I'm still lost. Is DNA being used as a verb here? That's the only way I can make sense of it, but, c'mon, DNA? Verb? Maybe someone could diagram it for me. Murder cops DNA Pakistan cricket team

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:57:15 -0800

wemayfreeze, I think the only legit reading would be, given the lack of punctuation "Murder steals DNA Pakistan cricket team."

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:36:43 -0800

yep, i think DNA is being used as a verb. "Homicide squad collects Pakistan cricket team's DNA" is my suggested reading.

By: tepidmonkey

tepidmonkey — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:59:32 -0800

If only.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:00:02 -0800

No more ungrammatical than fingerprint used as a verb, wemayfreeze.

By: wemayfreeze

wemayfreeze — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:06:51 -0800

"Fingerprint" has that verb at the end of it (print). When you fingerprint someone, you are taking a print of their fingers. No such luck with DNA. Anyhow, it's not the ungrammaticalness of it, it's that I've never heard DNA verbed like that before. Is it common? Googling is proving futile.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:09:50 -0800

OK. How about Taser? Cops Taser 90 year old woman. Where's the verb?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:16:04 -0800

According to the acronym dictionary, the best fit is probably Murder cops do not answer Pakistan cricket team. Either that, or Murder cops "definitely not attractive": Pakistan cricket team.

By: kittyprecious

kittyprecious — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:24:51 -0800

It's funny because it's not that funny.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:11:38 -0800

The best I could do.

By: A dead Quaker

A dead Quaker — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:40:20 -0800

This was a good day for Metafilter.

By: jstef

jstef — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:52:46 -0800

I just loved putting "Braves Suck!" on a CNN shirt. Now, let's see if I get it in the mail!

By: ludwig_van

ludwig_van — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 22:01:51 -0800

Howabout "murder cops?" That part is weird too. I have never heard the phrase "murder cops" like that before. ...but I think I just named my new band

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 02:03:03 -0800

Fuck CNN. I can't even be bothered to edit up the URL. They must be destroyed.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 02:03:33 -0800

Oh, all right.

By: degoao

degoao — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:46:49 -0800

The Post's "Ike Beats Tina To Death" is one of the best headlines ever.

By: atbash

atbash — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:54:47 -0800

From the FAQ: "What are the minimum computer specifications required to use CNN Shirts?" When you have to list minimum computer requirements to buy a t-shirt, you may have already failed.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:28:14 -0800

To be fair, use of flash or JavaScript is pretty common when previewing customizable products, so CNN isn't really unique there. Not that there shouldn't be non-flash fallbacks of course.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:35:27 -0800

Looks like they "fixed" their web site, alas.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:45:32 -0800

Looks like they've added a hash to the headline. weirdly you can still hakc teh return URI as much as you like. http://www.cnn.com/tshirt/index.html? headline=Pacing%20man%20stuck%2041%20hours%20in%20elevator &fhash=6ca868eac7d19ed9d34e2fc846301162 &date=1208867395000 &hash=11694688074e66750a174488fd93a954 &return_uri=http://www.metafilter.com

By: Locative

Locative — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:16:37 -0800

Ah, so that's why none of the links above save for Artw's work. I kept getting automatically redirected to the headline page.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 05:55:38 -0800

I think there was a hash in the first place that prevented you from actually buying any.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:47:32 -0800

Real shirt: Army barracks aswim in feces, ickiness