Comments on: Fun from yesteryear

Fun from yesteryear

sveskemus — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:19:53 -0800

"So I hit up a garage sale over the weekend and bought a genuine, working-condition Atari 2600, with a huge stack of games nearly mint in their boxes, for a song. I thought I'd scan the box covers and give you all a look back into the fun of yesteryear."

By: CitrusFreak12

CitrusFreak12 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:22:17 -0800

I see what you did there.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:24:34 -0800

"Dude - we shouldn't have done that acid, my hands feel like Twizzlers... oh, man, Twizzlers." Awesome.

By: CitrusFreak12

CitrusFreak12 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:24:49 -0800

Coincidentally I think the artists who did the box art for these games also made all the covers for every textbook of that era ever.

By: felix

felix — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:25:55 -0800

My childhood. Nooo. I'm speed dialing my congressperson to try to get the Atari Cartridge Font protected as a national treasure...

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:28:29 -0800

My favorite : IT'S FUCKING CHECKERS(tm)

By: cashman

cashman — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:30:08 -0800

Gay French Mario Brothers! Loved that game. Miss the relay bounce and splat on the ground, your arms are flailing in a pool of red that was your body. Graphic. Put on some Really Rosie and you've got all the gruesome fun you could have as a kid in the 80's when it was too cold or rainy to play lawn darts.

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:30:23 -0800

By: BoatMeme

BoatMeme — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:34:53 -0800

I used one of those images for my first album cover.

By: Brocktoon

Brocktoon — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:36:04 -0800

That's nothin'; I found a working, good condition Intellivision in the dumpster last year (no games tho).

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:37:39 -0800

This... oh my God. This is the bestest thing in the history of best. "It's Fucking Checkers", "Every Sport Ever In Pong Form" and "Backgammon For Friendless People" are particularly inspired. There was a reason for all those crappy translations of board games, though: the game companies thought that since most people weren't particularly familiar with the concept of video games, they felt they needed to make checkers, chess, backgammon, etc. games in order to gently introduce the concept. Thus, every pre-NES system had crappy board games which no one bought or played.

By: evilangela

evilangela — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:39:56 -0800

What's really scary is that I was able to identify almost every single one of those games from the artwork alone. I think there were maybe two or three that I wasn't certain on. Then again, if I weren't able to, I'd feel really ashamed, considering I have an Atari logo tattooed on my body...

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:41:16 -0800

Oh, the hours we spent playing "Old-Timey Cop With A Stick". Then, later on, we got an Atari 2600.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:42:33 -0800

Also, on this one: they did decide, your little insect guy is the "Yar", and the big alien bad guy is the "Qotile". "Yar" was Atari head Ray Kassar's first name backwards.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:48:21 -0800

Is it just me or does that art look like '80s clip art?

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:58:21 -0800

EMRJKC, the OP's link is a bit funnier generally, but the Alien-vs-Predator on page seven of yours is the best one yet.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:59:05 -0800

My joystick... it only goes to the left ..... oohhaahhhhrrrggg.

By: Big_B

Big_B — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:03:12 -0800

At least my thumb doesn't start pounding after playing Numbness for hours.

By: phooky

phooky — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:03:47 -0800

I always liked the style of the Atari boxcovers. The Basic Programming cart, in particular. Hey, I'm a programmer-- where are my shiny, button-studded chrome wristbands? Most tech firms will cheerfully furnish the explosive collar, though.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:07:35 -0800

"My joystick... it only goes to the left ..... oohhaahhhhrrrggg." Sir, might I interest you in our line of NASCAR games?

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:22:03 -0800

I think these were also covers of Choose Your Own Adventure books.

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:32:23 -0800

As I said in a recent thread about Atari, I remember playing Superman on the Atari 2600. Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep. {This was Superman walking} STATIC NOISE. {This was Superman flying. Wonkily. Forcing me to land.} Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep. STATIC NOISE. Beep. STATIC NOISE. Beep beep. STATIC NOISE. Yep, I remember playing Superman on the Atari 2600. For all of 30 seconds before giving up on it. Pitfall was the only decent game on the whole system. And this ad proves it! Still makes me wanna play it.

By: WidgetAlley

WidgetAlley — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:32:59 -0800

Metafilter: It's every game ever in Pong form!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:34:26 -0800

Wow, Atari 2600 nostalgia. Gee this is really cutting edge considering that a good portion of this sites membership was in toilet training when the 2600 was released. Also, the 1980's were a shitty decade, quit trying to open it's coffin. Thanks.

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:40:31 -0800

Pretty funny. hey, jonmc: WHOOSH!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:42:45 -0800

mrgrimm: my Uncle Vinny had an Intellivison, which blew away the fucking Atari.

By: blacklite

blacklite — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:43:01 -0800

I wish we had inline images again, so I could post a picture of "JONMC POOPS ON YOUR FUN". Designed by David Crane. From Activision!

By: sotonohito

sotonohito — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:43:53 -0800

Effigy2000 I must disagree with your claim about Pitfall. It was ok, but Adventure beat it in every possible category, except the "really quite pasable considering hardware of the era Tarzan yell" category.

By: [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST]

[NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:47:04 -0800

Also, the 1980's were a shitty decade Some of us peaked there.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:48:13 -0800

blacklite:....

By: sswiller

sswiller — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:48:57 -0800

worst game ever: Tax Avoiders

By: Miko

Miko — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:51:22 -0800

I Am A Vegas Showgirl. If only that were a real game.

By: Null Pointer and the Exceptions

Null Pointer and the Exceptions — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:11:14 -0800

Apparently every sport used to include the word pong at the end. /me goes outside and plays some frizpong.

By: Null Pointer and the Exceptions

Null Pointer and the Exceptions — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:12:03 -0800

Wait a minute.... I've been had!

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:12:52 -0800

my Uncle Vinny had an Intellivison, which blew away the fucking Atari. B-2 Bomber! The game ... TALKS!

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:13:52 -0800

And seriously, you do know this is a parody, right. right? right.

By: oddman

oddman — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:19:56 -0800

"Gee this is really cutting edge considering that a good portion of this sites membership was in toilet training when the 2600 was released. Also, the 1980's were a shitty decade, quit trying to open it's coffin. Thanks." Silly, silly child.

By: francesca too

francesca too — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:20:10 -0800

No, no no, Pitfall was the best: I never could beat it, I'll get right to the end and call my eight year old to get me across the last bit. He is way more coordinated than I ever was. Those hypnotic birds, and the hypnotic sound...

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:21:24 -0800

And seriously, you do know this is a parody, right. right? right. Yes, I do, and I'm still sick of it.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:22:14 -0800

Now he does.

By: Cookiebastard

Cookiebastard — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:23:25 -0800

Wow. The fake BASIC PROGRAMMING cover made me think about the real BASIC PROGRAMMING cartridge, which I had. Am I really the only person in the whole world that loved that cartridge? Really??? I think you only were allowed 10 lines of code or so. It taught me the importance of writing really tight code, which came in handy when I upgraded to the Commodore Vic-20.

By: Cookiebastard

Cookiebastard — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:27:21 -0800

(come to think of it, I had the Timex-Sinclair 1000 between the Atari BASIC PROGRAMMING cart and the Vic-20. Sorry for the derail. I'm getting old.)

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:38:07 -0800

I actually have a 2600 + dozens of games packed away in the closet. It was left for years, unused, in our summer cottage. About ten years ago I hooked it up - worked perfectly. Might be time to dig it out again. I wonder if it would work with a flat screen tv...

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:05:39 -0800

B-2 Bomber! The game ... TALKS! B-17, Sir. B-17 Bomber. B-17 Bomber B-17 Bomber.

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:17:22 -0800

My claim to fame is that I once beat E.T. I've led a sad life.

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:26:05 -0800

Intellivision is the Bose of video game consoles. George Plimpton shills overpriced hardware based on snob appeal for Volvo-driving suburbanites who would never consider a lowly game console in their living room, sign me up. Weak sauce - the Colecovision and C64 kicked its butt.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:34:13 -0800

Wow, Atari 2600 nostalgia. Gee this is really cutting edge considering that a good portion of this sites membership was in toilet training when the 2600 was released. ...and some of us weren't. I remember the first time I saw an Atari VCS used in anger. I was 10 or 11, and it was the first, but decidedly not last, time I looked at a new piece of technology with undisguised lust. Also, the 1980's were a shitty decade, quit trying to open it's coffin. Thanks. It was a decade where we had pacman fever and turned on our heartlights, and before it was done we had the Gold Box D&D games for the pc.

By: zippy

zippy — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:43:40 -0800

Pitfall was the best, Adventure's puzzles and easter eggs really drew me in, and River Raid was great.

By: mannequito

mannequito — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:58:19 -0800

Is this a poll? I vote for 'Old Timey Cop With A Stick'

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:58:37 -0800

Intellivision is the Bose of video game consoles. Yes, but... Advanced Dungeons & Dragons! Of course Coleco Turbo (with the steering wheel and pedal) was awesome, but there's something amazing about the fact that Combat never got old.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:00:42 -0800

For me, the 2600 was all about Robot Tank...although River Raid, Pitfall and many other Activision games came close.

By: wanderingmind

wanderingmind — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:03:46 -0800

Combat still hasn't gotten old. Invisible Tank Pong!

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:38:30 -0800

Robot Tank freakin blew me away. It didn't seem possible that the 2600 was delivering that kind of experience. River Raid was great, but made Babylon 5 completely unwatchable. Also, am I the only one who fiddled with the power switch to get it to go half-way and create all kinds of demented ruins of games? Cause I can't find a single reference on the net to anyone else doing this.

By: zekinskia

zekinskia — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:57:40 -0800

Combat

By: Nelson

Nelson — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:35:05 -0800

Durn, ROM Check Fail was a game made for you.

By: A dead Quaker

A dead Quaker — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:35:21 -0800

This is an awesome post, and an awesome thread. It made me realize that if I had heard "Let's go pound nails through our dicks" while playing Pitfall, I would have been like, Hell yeah. I'd love to see something like this for those Choose Your Own Adventure books.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:34:55 -0800

Pitfall came out in 1982, but Dungeons of Daggorath came out the same year and kicked every games ass for the next three or four years. Of course, it wasn't for the Atari.

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:41:37 -0800

Wow. The fake BASIC PROGRAMMING cover made me think about the real BASIC PROGRAMMING cartridge, which I had. Am I really the only person in the whole world that loved that cartridge? Really??? I've read about it, but I've never talked to anyone who actually had it. Rumor was that Atari only put it out because they felt they had to, since the VCS had the word "Computer" in the name. What was the BASIC PROGRAMMING cart like? Could you actually write anything usable with it?

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:57:23 -0800

Ha! Thanks, Nelson.

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:30:52 -0800

A dead Quaker: I'd love to see something like this for those Choose Your Own Adventure books. Voila!

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 04:26:45 -0800

North American video game crash of 1983.

By: JHarris

JHarris — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:41:41 -0800

Ah, yes, this is funny, ha ha.... And yet, it is beginning to border on not funny. The Atari 2600 was the first popular home game system, of course, the box art doesn't match the games very well. Of course, when compared to a game with a high polygon count the games don't match up (or do they? Adventure and Haunted House are surprisingly playable even now)... But how many dozens of Something Awful goons have rustled themselves up a mess o' page hits by taking something old and mocking it with Photoshop? And they all read like they written by the same guy. The same guy! I'm starting to get tired of that guy. We get the point already.

By: felix

felix — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:43:28 -0800

A dead Quaker: I'd love to see something like this for those Choose Your Own Adventure books. Voila! I see your 'voila' and raise you all-in.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 07:48:00 -0800

Noobs. We got an Odyssey for free when we got our first color TV in 1972. Color was provided by taping plastic overlays to the TV screen, the cartridges didn't really do anything, no sound, no on-screen score, and every game was basically a pong variation, but, man, we were the most popular household on the block for a while--I remember whole families coming over just to watch that little blip go back and forth across the screen.

By: aught

aught — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:27:32 -0800

Yep, I remember playing Superman on the Atari 2600. For all of 30 seconds before giving up on it. Well, all I can say is you wouldn't be making a big deal out of how much the Superman game sucks if you had ever tried to play the "ET: The Extraterrestrial" game.

By: splice

splice — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:56:31 -0800

I see your 'voila' and raise you all-in. Sorry, no string raises are allowed at this table. Your first action is binding and you can only call.

By: retronic

retronic — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:12:26 -0800

Also, am I the only one who fiddled with the power switch to get it to go half-way and create all kinds of demented ruins of games? I enjoyed many a demented hour of bizarro Centipede on my 2600. That game really seemed to like being messed with!

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:28:37 -0800

Whatever, whatever, wake me up when somebody on here buys a stand-up original version of Qix and puts it in his/her living room. (Then I'll expect a meetup.) I just got rid of a Vectrix game system with all the cartridges when I got divorced; now THAT was some old technology. These covers are pretty hilarious, though.

By: UKnowForKids

UKnowForKids — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:31:02 -0800

A single-link post to a bunch of jokey photoshopped covers from Mightygodking? Worst post ever.

By: box

box — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:13:07 -0800

Should've kept the Vectrex, u-o-t-c. (I've got a Qix tattoo. I don't think there are any pictures of it on the Internet.)

By: Dennis Murphy

Dennis Murphy — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:32:42 -0800

And seriously, you do know this is a parody, right. right? right. Yes, I do, and I'm still sick of it. posted by jonmc Suuure you did Jon. The only thing more awesome than this thread, or the 80s, is the whole thing flying over your head. :)

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:47:41 -0800

Box, I demand you Flickr that tattoo. Otherwise, I'm driving up there to get a look at it myself... no way you have anything that mega-awesome.

By: box

box — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:00:57 -0800

I'll consider it, u-o-t-c. In the meantime, do a Google image search for 'qix control panel,' and look at the 2-player button. (Or, y'know, drive up here--we can reminisce about raves.)

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:09:04 -0800

felix: w. t. f. Do you recommend that book? That could be awesome or just dumb. I liked John Dies at the End, if that helps you gauge anything.

By: felix

felix — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:26:17 -0800

You know how some things in life are just finishers? Like tubgirl, goatse -- they're not paths to anywhere, they're natural stopping points. They represent the familiar 3 yellow diamonds in front of you attached to a guardrail, telling you that the road has ended, that it's time to turn back. In much the same sense, Ocean of Lard is an empty place from which there can be no continuation. It pegs the meters so hard you start wondering if the meters ever measured anything. As you turn the pages, you start wondering what a meter is, and if it's even appropriate to think of anything along any scale at all. But this is a Choose Your Own Adventure ripoff, so you think no, that can't be it. You marshal your strength and go back to the beginning, trying to find the ending where, like all the other books, structurally -- you find the pie! Or the unicorn. Or somehow you end up with your kindly grandmother shaking you awake at the end of a long car trip and offering you some grape juice. There is no grape juice. So if you want to be in a place where there is no grape juice, I recommend this book. Look, it's like this. JG Ballard wrote a book called Crash, with which you may be familiar if you are reading metafilter. It postulates a world in which people are so desensitized that they have to witness, or better yet, participate, in violent car crashes to get off. Long story short, the practice is treated as normal and the reader's left with the question about how the hell reading that book made him feel -- in the presence of real, unalloyed nihilism, are we shaken, do we feel an impulse to reject, do we recognize the secret impulse, or do we suffer/enjoy a break in our worldview? The author, Carlton Mellick III (yes, III) is no JG Ballard. He's pretty insufferable, self-absorbed, and appears to slide vertiginously close to the cliff of shock value in many of his books ("Baby Jesus Butt Plug", "Haunted Vagina"). He's trying to create his own genre ('bizarro') and most of the time it doesn't pan out. But in all of his clowning around and sophomoric hijinking, there's some intriguing solidity there, a solidity that can push you off your foundation a little; the ending to Punk Land will stick with me for the rest of my days. So if you enjoy a sense of dislocation that comes at you from all angles, messily, with a general lack of force but occasional interesting elements you find yourself thinking uneasily about for a while, then maybe his stuff is the stuff for you.