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How to catch and eat a rat
April 23, 2008 12:42 AM   Subscribe

How to catch and eat a rat. Really. This is for if the bartending or the blacksmithing don't work out.

When the recession starts, you won't be able to earn a living mixing daiquiris anymore, and after that, during the depression, it'll be tough to make it as a blacksmith, so when it gets really bad, this will give you the skills that the times require.

Your instructor, Cody Lundin, is not unaware of the humor in this, so I sense. But there's still a hardcore element there, eh?
posted by Rich Smorgasbord (24 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Well thank god he's faculty and has time to learn all this.
posted by ZaneJ. at 1:22 AM on April 23, 2008


High point: dystopian Ken and Barbie.
And I'm not squicked out at all by the rat BBQ- It's about time we turned the tables on those whiskery bastards. Only I would suggest you save your fire until you've got a whole rodent bouquet. Seems like a waste of energy to grill one at a time.
posted by maryh at 1:49 AM on April 23, 2008


rodent boquet
posted by carsonb at 2:16 AM on April 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


Everything he just did is incredibly difficult and takes years of practice. So don't bookmark this just in case all hell breaks loose and you need a reference on how not to die.
posted by recurve at 3:30 AM on April 23, 2008


I like where he says "if we were an indigenous tribe, living the way we're living, we'd be dead a long time ago".

A statement so vacuous, it's almost meaningless.

I also like how he puts garlic on the rat.
posted by creasy boy at 4:36 AM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


So don't bookmark this just in case all hell breaks loose and you need a reference on how not to die.

As delightful as this is, I'm sticking with my original strategy to eat other humans. I'll let them eat the rats. When it's just me and the rats, I'll start thinking about plan B.
posted by three blind mice at 5:06 AM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm sticking with my original strategy to eat other humans. I'll let them eat the rats.

posted by three blind mice

I'm eponyconfused.
posted by DU at 5:10 AM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mutant 1: Want hear new recipe?
Mutant 2: What kind?
M1: Rat surprise.
M2: Sound good. How me make?
M1: Catch rat. Careful no squish too much.
M2: How no squish? Every time I club them, they pop. Very messy.
M1: You want hear recipe or not? Catch rat your problem.
M2: Me sorry.
M1: Like said, catch rat. Hang by tail on wall.
M1: Let hang til tail fall off. It ready then.
M1: Eat quickly, if let sit too long, the surprise crawl out and fly away.
M2: Sound yummy

posted by Slithy_Tove at 5:24 AM on April 23, 2008


I'm confused too DU. It seems to me that the Western taboo against eating rats is not quite, but almost as big, as the taboo of cannibalism. Do any religions - like Judaism and Islam - that impose dietary restrictions say anything about indulging in either of these delicacies?

Or is it just so bloody obvious that you don't eat rats and other humans?
posted by three blind mice at 5:50 AM on April 23, 2008


Google AdWords a few years from now:

Easy Rat Recipes
Chat and get rat preparation
ideas from moms near your camp.
www.ratrecipe.com
posted by mr. creosote at 6:36 AM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Our friends in the bayou are ahead of the curve. But I don't think they're having much success.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:38 AM on April 23, 2008


I'm of two minds on THis kind of survivalist curriculum. On the one hand, it's always delivered with a kind of hostile superiority, as if the rest of us are lazy and no-good and will all perish in the soon to come apocalypse. In fact, the idiot who chooses to eat rat even though there's plenty of good food around should really just feel ashamed of himself. On the other hand, all this stuff is pretty cool, especially starting fires without a lighter.
posted by mert at 6:46 AM on April 23, 2008


Rather than shout "eponysterical!" I offer the following excerpt:

A fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord
After the crowds have ceased
Each night when the lights go out
It can be found on the ground all around
Oh, what a ratly feast!


--Charlotte's Web
posted by sourwookie at 7:18 AM on April 23, 2008


I also like how he puts garlic on the rat.

Well...they are a bit gamey.
posted by kjs3 at 7:22 AM on April 23, 2008


Tastes like pumpkin pie?
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:49 AM on April 23, 2008


Wow. The expression "ratly feast" just became my new favorite phrase.

P.S.: invest in a good sturdy full-tang knife, a multitool, and a decent firestarter (magnesium block, flint striker, similar item) and with a little know-how, you're fairly well-off.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:34 AM on April 23, 2008


rat-lee feest!
posted by exlotuseater at 8:35 AM on April 23, 2008


I'm not sure if he doesn't understand, or just doesn't care, that if humans had to survive as hunter-gatherers, the world could support probably fewer than a tenth of the people it supports now.
posted by Dasein at 9:53 AM on April 23, 2008


Or use the Black Adder method! (Skip to 5:30 in the clip.)
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 10:06 AM on April 23, 2008


Mmmm, escapism.
posted by auralcoral at 11:53 AM on April 23, 2008


I prefer Farley Mowat's recipe from Never Cry Wolf;
Mice in Cream (Souris à la crème)
Skin, gut and wash some fat mice without removing their heads. Cover them in a pot with ethyl alcohol and marinate 2 hours. Cut a piece of salt pork or sowbelly into small dice and cook it slowly to extract the fat. Drain the mice, dredge them thoroughly in a mixture of flour, pepper, and salt, and fry slowly in the rendered fat for about 5 minutes. Add a cup of alcohol and 6 to 8 cloves, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Prepare a cream sauce, transfer the sautéed mice to it, and warm them in it for about 10 minutes before serving.
posted by lekvar at 12:27 PM on April 23, 2008


You know, if I'm going to eat a rodent I'm going to go after a bigger one with a bushy tail that, rather than making a point of not being seen, likes to look down from a limb and make little chuff chuff chuff noises to let me know it's there.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 7:02 PM on April 23, 2008


Rats are shrewd characters. It would be weird to kill and eat one, though I'm sure this clip will redeem itself should I ever be that hungry.
posted by owhydididoit at 8:08 PM on April 23, 2008


Charming but somewhat amateurish. You want to know how to catch and eat a rat? Talk to the professionals.
posted by drdanger at 8:56 PM on April 23, 2008


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