Darth Vader is an Antijedite.

April 23, 2008 1:07 PM

Darth Vader is an Antijedite.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson (29 comments total)

The Empire has already struck back I'm afraid...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:12 PM on April 23

Hokey religions and plastic weapons are no match for a good
crutch-and-bin-bag at your side, kid.
posted by lekvar at 1:12 PM on April 23 [2 favorites]

NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!

(Vaguely disappointing that he wasn't wearing a Vader mask or costume. If this was premeditated, you think he could have planned it a bit better.)
posted by papercake at 1:12 PM on April 23

Begun, this nerd war has.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:12 PM on April 23 [2 favorites]

He really should have stopped at 5 liters of box wine.
posted by brain_drain at 1:13 PM on April 23

I am anxiously awaiting future applications of the antijedite tag.
posted by mrnutty at 1:14 PM on April 23

Do you have to be drunk to attack two light sabers with a stolen crutch?
posted by Cranberry at 1:17 PM on April 23

Jeff Vader can kill you with merely a TRAY
posted by runincircles at 1:20 PM on April 23 [6 favorites]

every sentence of that article was hysterical.

I love that the total damage done to the "jedis" was a headache and a bruise.

by a guy with a garbage bag on his head screaming "Darth Vader!" and wielding an aluminum crutch.
posted by shmegegge at 1:22 PM on April 23

and oh! the 10 liter box of wine! this may be the greatest news article ever written.
posted by shmegegge at 1:22 PM on April 23

The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

When Darth Vader drinks a box of wine, he only drinks the best part. That's one of his evil powers.
posted by burnmp3s at 1:22 PM on April 23 [10 favorites]

Keep in mind that this happened in Wales, where you need to drink ten liters of boxed wine just to speak the native language. Llysoedd Ynadon Caergybi, indeed.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:23 PM on April 23

Wussiest. Sith. Ever.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:43 PM on April 23

Darth Vader is an Antijedite.

Cyrmu ueber alles?

What, no 10 L boxed wine and sheep jokes?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:48 PM on April 23

What sorry excuses for Jedi these guys are. "Oh no, we got whacked with a metal crutch!" Real Jedi only piss and moan when they lose limbs.

I'm also startled that the court is seriously talking about jail time; surely a fine and a scolding would be adequate?
posted by Malor at 1:53 PM on April 23

"The court head Hughes had previous convictions, including affray, assault and disorderly behaviour. "

I've never run across affray before. I'll be working that into conversation.
posted by Ragma at 1:55 PM on April 23

Antijeddite? ANTIJEDDITE?

Damn political correctness. In my day we called them SITH, plain and simple. And they knew their place. Only two there ever were, a master and an apprentice. And they had the good taste to not go flaunting it around, either -- none of this jumping over fences swinging aluminum crutches.

Now you kids get off my forest moon!
posted by PlusDistance at 1:55 PM on April 23 [5 favorites]

Last post, this is.
posted by grateful at 1:58 PM on April 23

What does the fact that I really liked the post and the comments says about my Nerd Quotient?
posted by francesca too at 2:05 PM on April 23

Congratulations, IRFH, on coining a new word, previously unseen on the Web (according to Google). Of course, the ultimate consequences of having a word like "antijedite" added to the vocabulary are unknown, but I seriously suspect that it will not me.
posted by wendell at 2:13 PM on April 23 [3 favorites]

Nothing to add, but "Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was "ruining his life" and he had no idea where he got the crutch from."
posted by Squid Voltaire at 2:25 PM on April 23

Who knows, wendell, it may not you so much as end in a whimper. Though I wonder, are the two mutually exclusive? Despite my own efforts, no one else is coming to the aid of Ashley Javier's neologism. Antijedite may meet a similar fate.
posted by mumkin at 2:27 PM on April 23

I don't think we've heard much about the effects of alcohol and other inebriants on Jedi skills. For example, what if you got drunk and everyone else thought you were awesome and told you that they love you, man?
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 2:36 PM on April 23

These are not the pretzels you are looking for.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:39 PM on April 23

"The power to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of a 10L box of wine."

"Don't try to frighten us with your sorceror's ways, Lord Vader. Your devotion to that ancient religion hasn't helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes or GAAAAAAH ALUMINUM CRUTCH'D"
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:56 PM on April 23

Ah-HA!
posted by BeerFilter at 3:04 PM on April 23

This is begging to be illustrated lolcats-style.
posted by notashroom at 3:09 PM on April 23

Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was "ruining his life" and he had no idea where he got the crutch from.

I strongly suspect that there is a fantastic story behind this, like there is a person with a broken leg setting in a cast, limping around out there wondering what the fuck just happened, and why did that guy wearing a trash-bag just knock him over and scream "witness the power of the dark side, bitch!"
posted by quin at 3:22 PM on April 23

They two guys couldn't overpower a crutch-wielding drunkard in a trash bag? What kind of jedi are they?
posted by PM at 3:50 PM on April 23