On Having A Black Name

April 24, 2008 9:06 AM

On Having A Black Name "I am a white woman, a blond, blue-eyed white woman, and I have a first name strongly associated with black women. My mother, a southerner by birth, never stopped telling me she made the name up. The fact that she truly could not remember ever hearing the name before, is a testament to the strength of southern segregation. It is likely she heard it once or twice, and simply forgot it until later. And so, even at 50 years old, I have a name that makes people do a double-take. "You're _____?" is something I have heard all my life. "Yes, that would be me," is what I say, as they look confused. I have upset the social order. Names, I have learned, are a big, big part of it."
posted by nooneyouknow (257 comments total)

There are probably a lot of really interesting things to say about having a cross-cultural name. This seems to just be a chronicle of wide-eyed encounters with racism by someone who doesn't spend a lot of time thinking.
posted by aswego at 9:14 AM on April 24

I have to admit, this story shocks me. Especially the part about how she gets treated by people who assume she's black when she's working a customer service line. I should think by now that people who are racist would at least no better than to openly act like bigots.

And I'm dying to know what her name is.
posted by orange swan at 9:16 AM on April 24

"know better". As in, "I know better than to use 'no' in that context."
posted by orange swan at 9:18 AM on April 24

I thought her comment about why she didn't say what her name was (because I also wanted to know!) was really interesting:

I really wanted everyone to "project" a name into the blank. I thought long and hard about this post... and whenever I've tried to bring up the subject with white people (never black people--they know what kind of name it is), they argue over particulars and details--which I've noticed is one of the ways white people deflect criticisms of racism. They will say, well, I never thought your name was particularly *black*--just 1) southern, 2) different and 3) somewhat rare. (But that's just it, in the black community, it isn't considered any of those things.)

Rather than listen to me talk about my experiences, white people want to nitpick details and whether I am telling the truth in the first place.

So, I deliberately didn't give my name. I want to you to project one into the blank.
posted by iminurmefi at 9:18 AM on April 24 [13 favorites]

Glad someone's figured out a calling now that Jerry's gone.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 9:18 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

Saturday Night Live even assigned my name to a black crackhead-character in a comedy skit

Surely this should narrow down the choices quite a bit.
posted by grouse at 9:20 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

Interesting story. To be honest I usually dislike links to personal blogs, but this has a lot of merit.

It's interesting how racism hasn't so much faded, but become more covert, more built around codes and assumptions. Way back when (too long ago,) I had a friend who did a college project on race discrimination and housing. He'd make appointments using a traditionally white name, and then again with a traditionally black name. Often, disproportionately, the housing in question would become "unavailable" when he used the black name.

All in all, it strikes me that people's behavior towards minorities has changed more than their attitudes. But, I guess, that's more progress than none.....
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:21 AM on April 24 [4 favorites]

Black women (and men) have been telling us about this for... ever. But it's good that this white woman has told us about racism and discrimination, because now we REALLY know it happens, right?
posted by prefpara at 9:21 AM on April 24 [22 favorites]

MetaFilter: They argue over particulars and details--which...is one of the ways white people deflect criticisms of racism.
posted by DU at 9:21 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

I am a white woman, a blond, blue-eyed white woman, and I have a first name strongly associated with black women

Uh, Daisy is a duck's name.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:22 AM on April 24 [4 favorites]

There are probably a lot of really interesting things to say about having a cross-cultural name. This seems to just be a chronicle of wide-eyed encounters with racism by someone who doesn't spend a lot of time thinking.

You can't have read that same article I read.
posted by cashman at 9:22 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

I wish she was a better writer. It seems there could be one focused narrative that could be pulled out of someone who had a name strongly associated with a different culture, but she's so rambly, so ready to throw out racist comments as if that'll be interesting enough.
posted by 23skidoo at 9:22 AM on April 24

Probably much more interesting than a Latino (well, ok, cafe con leche) having a 100% Anglo name. I have nothing to compare with the stories on her blog, but I was surprised at how often "spic" would slip out of folks.
posted by jquinby at 9:23 AM on April 24

I don't know what do say, except that she certainly likes the grateful dead.
posted by milarepa at 9:24 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I have successfully projected Zaqueesha into the blank.
posted by BoatMeme at 9:24 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

Thanks nooneyouknow, that was a great read.

never black people--they know what kind of name it is

Heh.
posted by cashman at 9:25 AM on April 24

aswego: It does come off somewhat "wide-eyed" (Hey! Wait, whats that supposed to mean? kidding) However, I took that as a rhetorical strategy, rather than a lack of nuance.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:26 AM on April 24

Could be worse. Could be a stripper name.
posted by Artw at 9:27 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

In general, links to blog posts suck, but this is a good one. She's had a fairly unique life experience and I'm glad she shared it.
posted by empath at 9:27 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I, too, have a rather non-identifying first name but a last name very often associated with blacks. And the fact that I was born in DC, which at one point, I listed on my resume, led to a number of doubletakes and an encounter with one moron who, after hiring me, sidled up to me one day and whispered, "But we thought you were black!" While my hair is now gray, I DO have blue eyes and very white skin.
And, I nearly gave my daughter, born in Asia, a name, which, when combined with our last, would have had her carrying the same ID as a very famous, barrier-breaking black baseball player. So she got a different name.
posted by etaoin at 9:28 AM on April 24

"It's a N-GGER name!"

I still don't understand why people use this convention. If you omit one vowel, is it somehow supposed to be more sanitized and less offensive, even though we clearly know what the word is? Or, is this a search engine thing?

Do I need to say it? It's

N-A-G-G-E-R
posted by psmealey at 9:29 AM on April 24 [4 favorites]

KokuRyu: "Uh, Daisy is a duck's name."

The very first sentence is "My blog name is my grandmother's name, Daisy." So the name in discussion is not "Daisy".
posted by Plutor at 9:29 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

My name is Malcolm. I am half Caucasian-American and half Asian-American. Yes it's weird.
posted by kalessin at 9:29 AM on April 24

"I know, I gave you a black name! I still thought I made it up," she told me, some time before her final illness.

"But it's been GOOD FOR YOU!" she announced. And then she smiled, satisfied.

Now, where have I heard this story before? Oh, yeah.

MY NAME IS SUE!! HOW DO YOU DO?!?
posted by yhbc at 9:31 AM on April 24 [19 favorites]

Laquita Jackson, aka Daisy.
posted by Mister_A at 9:32 AM on April 24 [6 favorites]

When I was getting my master's degree, I knew a blonde, blue-eyed girl who also had a "black name." She liked it, but was seriously thinking about using her "white" middle name when sending out resumes for fear that her first name would hurt her chances of getting a job. At first, I thought that was totally depressing. Then I decided it was probably smart. And still totally depressing.
posted by Rangeboy at 9:33 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I have a pretty generic name that happens to be the same name as a famous black college basketball coach. It has been a fairly annoying for me my whole life, more for the 'having the same name as a famous person' thing than the black thing, because it's not the kind of name that makes people assume that you're black. NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
posted by empath at 9:34 AM on April 24

I wish she was a better writer. It seems there could be one focused narrative that could be pulled out of someone who had a name strongly associated with a different culture, but she's so rambly, so ready to throw out racist comments as if that'll be interesting enough.

I think if she were a better writer, a lot of people would find it less genuine. And honestly rambly? Was that really that hard to follow? And what's wrong with "throwing out" racist anecdotes in an article about her experiences with racism?

It sounds like what you want is your racist anecdotes wrapped in lots of sugary verbiage in order to make them easier to swallow. I prefer this, show people the ugliness and let them make up their own mind.
posted by delmoi at 9:36 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

The name i imagined is Niggy Tardust.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 9:36 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

You can't have read that same article I read.

Maybe "thinking" was a bit harsh, Cashman. But she's obviously not very reflective. That classroom scene has been played out in books, and that customer service story happens with everyone who has a remotely ethnic name. Once she gave us the setup for these stories, we all knew where they were going to go. It's obviously sad, but kind of Old Hat. Twenty years after C. Thomas Howell's crappy monologue at the end of Soul Man, we got this...which was about as insightful as the movie, Crash (AKA...lessons in racial conflict for 7-year-olds).

I hope the next white Zaqueesha is able to tell us something we couldn't have predicted, that's all.
posted by aswego at 9:37 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

At least she doesn't have to carry the 'Crusade for Moorish Dignity' banner. That thing is rank.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:38 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I should also mention, that i play in a band with a white drummer named Eddie Murphy.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 9:38 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I get the double take thing all the time, as my actual given name combined with my married name suggests an ethnicity and a gender clearly at odds with how I look. What stuns me about the entry is the teacher's acceptance of the boy's bigotry within the class. "Daisy" doesn't look that old. Even when I was in grade school in the early 60s in a segregated school system, overt racially charged remarks (not to mention speaking out of turn) would simply not have been tolerated. I am continually dismayed at how far we have not come.
posted by nax at 9:38 AM on April 24

Welcome, docpops, to this week's episode of MISS THE POINT!
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:39 AM on April 24 [6 favorites]

My first name (the real one, not Fuzzy) is usually regarded as a "black name" even though I am white. A while back, some news outlet was doing a study on how names effect your chances of being hired, and I think my name was in the top 10 that was supposedly discriminated against for being "black." Interestingly, when my name is used for a movie or television character, it's nearly always for a black man, or a white gay man. There are a few instances of it being used for white, illiterate, rednecks. I am also neither gay nor a redneck, although my parents are from Kentucky. Awesome huh.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 9:39 AM on April 24

Black women (and men) have been telling us about this for... ever. But it's good that this white woman has told us about racism and discrimination, because now we REALLY know it happens, right?

You know, I think her story actually provides a pretty good insight into why black people and white people have pretty different views about whether there's still much racism in the U.S. I read a short write-up of a study (I think the WaPo?) a couple months ago pointing out that when you disaggregate survey data polling people about the existence and intensity of racism these days, and whether things are better or worse now than 30 years ago, it's pretty striking how different white views are from black views, with most white people believing that racism died out in the 1970s with the civil rights movement. (All fixed now!)

And the facile explanation for that, I think, is that white people know racism is out there but think it's not a big deal because it's not their problem, or deny it because they don't want to deal with it. Not that those things might not play some role, but I think it's just as likely that most people are empiricists at heart, and in our post-civil rights era, a lot of white people don't *see* racism anymore. It's gone underground, because it's not polite to say to say these things anymore (to a white person), and since it disappeared from sight a lot of white people have just kind of assumed that it mostly disappeared for good.

All of which makes many white people skeptical when hearing something labeled as racist, because in the battle between most everything you've experienced in your life and someone you don't know very well saying, "This is racist! Racism exists," it's not surprising that your experience wins out. So it becomes a debate about whether the person labeling something as racism *really* understands what is going on, or whether it's plausible it might have been something else, and how we should give the benefit of the doubt because being called a racist is double-super-plus bad. That sort of skeptical stance reduces the cognitive dissonance between "well I've never seen anyone use a racial slur, I haven't ever seen any men in white sheets, if all this racism is out there than how come I never see it?" and what someone standing in front of you is telling you.

Sucks, don't it?
posted by iminurmefi at 9:40 AM on April 24 [45 favorites]

I have a "black" middle and last name and the only reaction I've ever noted is the occasional double take from black people expecting someone more mocha to arrive for the appointment.

Oddly enough, my Jewish family collectively changed to the surname to deflect racism in post-Leo Frank Atlanta. I don't know their logic in selecting our particular name, but I like to think they just wanted to mindfuck the redneck goyim who wanted to lasso 'em.
posted by bunnytricks at 9:40 AM on April 24

I kind of agree with aswego. The vignettes from her customer service days are so over the top they're not interesting. Yes, they are incredibly jarring and offensive, but not interesting. I know she didn't write it with the likes of me as an audience, but I would have been more interested to hear stories of the subtler racism she encountered, and how that affected from her youth to the present how she approached certain everyday life situations.
posted by psmealey at 9:40 AM on April 24

This reminds me of a movie in which a white man confirms for us that yes, the Jews aren't making up antisemitism.

I think it really SUCKS that we still need white people to tell us about discrimination.

Like, oh, NOW I get it! Those black people weren't just making it up/being hypersensitive/just as dumb as employers assumed they were/etc.

Because this woman is white, so it really truly must have been racism! And if it had been a black woman, well, maybe it wasn't racism, maybe she just wasn't qualified for the job? Maybe she was just being an angry black woman?

I'm having a long day, so maybe I am overreacting, but in the moment I am really pissed off by this.
posted by prefpara at 9:41 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I have a pretty generic name . . .
posted by empath at 12:34 PM on April 24 [+] [!]

Holy crap, empath is a sock puppet!
posted by The Bellman at 9:41 AM on April 24 [3 favorites]

...would have had her carrying the same ID as a very famous, barrier-breaking black baseball player. So she got a different name.

You almost named her Curt Flood? Crazy, dude.
posted by NoMich at 9:41 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

The very first sentence is "My blog name is my grandmother's name, Daisy." So the name in discussion is not "Daisy".

Well, jeez, and here I was just about to post, "whatever, that's my grandma's name!"

Maybe her blog has a blog about how hard it is to be a middle-aged blog with a grandma-blog's name.
posted by vorfeed at 9:41 AM on April 24

I have no room to talk, my real name is Wang Fung Lopez. Try explaining that to the Aryan Nation application committee.
posted by Pollomacho at 9:42 AM on April 24 [11 favorites]

I think if she were a better writer, a lot of people would find it less genuine. And honestly rambly? Was that really that hard to follow? And what's wrong with "throwing out" racist anecdotes in an article about her experiences with racism?

It sounds like what you want is your racist anecdotes wrapped in lots of sugary verbiage in order to make them easier to swallow. I prefer this, show people the ugliness and let them make up their own mind.

I didn't say it was hard to understand, I said it was rambly. Nothing's wrong with throwing out racist anecdotes, I just don't particularly find it that interesting to read about. I already know that there's lots of racists in the world. I don't want racist anecdotes to be easier to swallow. I just don't find them particularly interesting on their own.
posted by 23skidoo at 9:43 AM on April 24

I'm pretty sure this part of an astroturfing campaign for an upcoming movie collaboration between Martin Lawrence and Steve Martin.
posted by srboisvert at 9:44 AM on April 24

I held out hope for the longest time that Leroy Jenkins was a black man.

Also, on a more serious note, my friend Corky is always assumed by strangers to have Down Syndrome. It doesn't help that he's mildly retarded.
posted by BoatMeme at 9:45 AM on April 24 [3 favorites]

So it's Laquita, huh? Hmm. Never heard that one before. It's rather pretty. I'm not sure what I would have thought about the ethnicity of that name if I'd seen it in, say, a list of names, or if I'd have thought about its ethnicity at all.
posted by orange swan at 9:46 AM on April 24

All right, last comment. I just have to say I love the people who seem to need to address her writing style, narrative choices and resolution, yet ignore the actual subject. She isn't looking for any literary-workshop critique, she's an average person writing about average experiences in our society - which is exactly what makes it interesting.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:46 AM on April 24 [17 favorites]

I hope the next white Zaqueesha is able to tell us something we couldn't have predicted, that's all.

Who is we? Oh for folks who are familiar with topics concerning racism it is not mindblowing, but for a lot of things I don't view them as I would a piece of theory about race and social construction, but as something that some of the myriad of people who delight in saying racism doesn't exist or if it does, it's almost nowhere to be found, would read and maybe actually partially ingest.

This is one of those pieces, to me. Some people will still not believe that having a "black sounding" name will cause problems when trying to get a job. So something like this can help them understand reality more. And though it sucks, yes, that it happens to a white person can make a lot of people who otherwise write off the experiences of nonwhites en masse anyway as otherdom pay attention for a few seconds longer, is part of the appeal of the piece.
posted by cashman at 9:47 AM on April 24

heh. my given name ("regis") is usually associated with men. which has led to everyone up to and including the selective service sending me mail with the salutation "mister". the selective service didn't stop bugging me to find out why "mister regis d." hadn't registered until we sent them a birth certificate.

although the past decade or so i've mostly been afflicted by annoying "HA HA HA ITS THE SAME NAME AS A TALK SHOW HOST" jokes as far as name-based joking goes.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:47 AM on April 24

...need to address her writing style, narrative choices and resolution, yet ignore the actual subject.

And she even called these people out pre-emptively. She's got MeFi's number all right. (Largely) A bunch of white men who spend a lot of energy denying racism or sexism exist.
posted by DU at 9:48 AM on April 24 [8 favorites]

People are surprised when I tell them I use my real name online.
posted by Pastabagel at 9:49 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

There's someone in the office complex where I work who has a "Chinese-sounding" last name, yet she is blonde-haired and blue eyed (rrrrrworrrr, she's a real hottie, too). I've always been curious about her heritage, but I've never felt that I could ask her about it.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:50 AM on April 24

You know, I think her story actually provides a pretty good insight into why black people and white people have pretty different views about whether there's still much racism in the U.S.

I don't think we need to wonder any longer. In this week's Democratic primary in Pennsylvania, of white people who reported that race was an important factor in determining their vote (12% overall), 3/4 of them voted for the white candidate.
posted by psmealey at 9:50 AM on April 24

All right, last comment. I just have to say I love the people who seem to need to address her writing style, narrative choices and resolution, yet ignore the actual subject. She isn't looking for any literary-workshop critique, she's an average person writing about average experiences in our society - which is exactly what makes it interesting.

I'm not ignoring the actual subject, I just don't think that anyone who writes on the topic of misdirected racism will automatically make something that's worth posting to metafilter.
posted by 23skidoo at 9:54 AM on April 24

I'm just waiting for the "Tonto Goldstein" joke to appear...
posted by tadellin at 9:54 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

She's got MeFi's number all right. (Largely) A bunch of white men who spend a lot of energy denying racism or sexism exist

This is exactly why racism threads suck. Don't get me wrong, I am ordinarily a big fan of yours, DU, really enjoy your insights, but owing perhaps to poor wording or inelegantly expressed thoughts, it's entirely to easy for MeFites to call others out as racists even though they may be the furthest thing from it.
posted by psmealey at 9:54 AM on April 24

I read a short write-up of a study (I think the WaPo?) a couple months ago pointing out that when you disaggregate survey data polling people about the existence and intensity of racism these days, and whether things are better or worse now than 30 years ago, it's pretty striking how different white views are from black views, with most white people believing that racism died out in the 1970s with the civil rights movement. (All fixed now!)

It's more complicated than that. My wife, a social psychologist, used to do research on the Personal-Group Discrimination Discrepancy (PGDD). Individuals are likely to report that their group is discriminated against but for some reason they deny that they themselves have been.

Racism is a very weird thing for both the perps and the vics.
posted by srboisvert at 9:54 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I'm just waiting for the "Tonto Goldstein" joke to appear...

It's Bucky... and here it is

One day I got on the bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl. I sat beside her.
I said, 'Hi', And she said, 'Hi', and then I said, 'Nice day, isn't it?'.
And she said, 'I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem.'
So I asked, 'What's the problem?' She replied, 'I can't tell you. I don't even know you.'
I said, 'Well, sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus.'
So she said, 'Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys... By the way, my name is Denise.'
I said, 'Hello, Denise. My name is Bucky Goldstein.'.

-- Steven Wright

posted by psmealey at 9:59 AM on April 24 [6 favorites]

My wife is a blond, green-eyed white woman, who has a first name (Daryl) commonly associated with black men (Darrell, Darryl and various other spellings).

Oddly enough, there's rarely any confusion. Although when people ask her about her name, she says she's related to Darryl Dawkins. Which is funny because she's not very tall.
posted by three blind mice at 10:01 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

I thought it was good; thanks for posting it.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:02 AM on April 24

So it's Laquita, huh? Hmm. Never heard that one before. It's rather pretty.

If it really is Laquita, it's definitely a "black name." Heard the name a number of times living in Atlanta, exclusively referring to black people.
posted by jmd82 at 10:03 AM on April 24

Fryer and Levitt's The Causes and Consequences of Distinctly Black Names (PDF)
Slate piece on Freakonomics, by Levitt
Business Week article from 2003 about names and hiring practices.
CBS News, 2003, same topic.

It's an interesting topic.

Anecdotally, I found out that my name was used as the equivalent of "Gomer" or "Goober" in the early 20th century in the south when it showed up in Light in August. I've also found other cultural artifacts that are pretty funny, including a 78 called "Uncle Hiram's Trip to the Big City" (it's a double-sided tale with parts 1 and 2). I tend to be asked if I'm Jewish a lot, and I'm not, but it is interesting. I haven't encountered the BS the person in the post has, though.

Thanks for the post.
posted by sleepy pete at 10:04 AM on April 24 [4 favorites]

my boyfriend also has a "black" first name -- marques (pronounced like marcus). he's been having difficulty finding a job as well and we have both wondered if it's because of his name on his resume. everyone, before they meet him, thinks he's black.
posted by kerning at 10:07 AM on April 24

My English name is not the same as my Chinese name. This was for integration... "avoiding racism," I guess. My boyfriend's name is South Asian and one mailing list changes it a little on each piece of mail, until now it seems he's a Latino Englishman.
posted by halonine at 10:07 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

All right, last comment. I just have to say I love the people who seem to need to address her writing style, narrative choices and resolution, yet ignore the actual subject. She isn't looking for any literary-workshop critique, she's an average person writing about average experiences in our society - which is exactly what makes it interesting.

But that's the whole point. There is nothing even mildly interesting in what she has to say.

Besides Seinfeld did it much better with Donna Chang.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:09 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

My first name has a spelling used almost exclusively by African-Americans. I've met only one other white guy with his name spelt like mine.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 10:10 AM on April 24

I'm not sure if there was an SNL sketch with a Laquita, but In Living Color had an "I Love Laquita" sketch.
posted by grouse at 10:12 AM on April 24

Perhaps someone could post an FPP about the way black people have started adopting the name John or Richard to pass themselves off as white when talking to telemarketers and the police.
posted by docpops at 10:19 AM on April 24

...easy for MeFites to call others out as racists even though they may be the furthest thing from it.

Being a racism denialist (or topic avoidist) isn't quite the same thing as being a racist. Speaking as a white male myself, my first reaction to being told about racism in some sphere of my life is to deny that I could be so unwittingly evil. That doesn't mean I want to hate minorities, it just means I'm slow to recognize my own faults. Happens to everyone. The trouble is, when a community is largely homogeneous, the slowness to recognize one's own faults is institutionalized and reinforced.
posted by DU at 10:23 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

Interesting topic and link—thanks for the post, nooneyouknow. Sorry about the asshats.

There is nothing even mildly interesting in what she has to say.

Translation: "Meh. I have no interest in this, but instead of saying that, I'll claim it is not interesting in and of itself, thus implying anyone who claims to be interested is a liar or a moron."
posted by languagehat at 10:24 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

You know what's crazy? Frank Black is white, but Barry White is black. What a world...
posted by inigo2 at 10:25 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

Saturday Night Live even assigned my name to a black crackhead-character in a comedy skit

Whitney Houston? *rimshot*

Thanks. I'll be here all week. I think she's making that part up.

My first guess is LaKeesha. My second is Geraldine. My third is Florida.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:26 AM on April 24

Just saw the Laquita comments. That's a good guess.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:27 AM on April 24

You know what's crazy? Frank Black is white, but Barry White is black.

...and they go like this, amirite?

sorry
posted by jquinby at 10:28 AM on April 24

I have a name that people struggle with - it's obscure as hell although not actually particularly difficult. People sometimes think I'm Indian / South Asian or Arabic. And they don't always know I'm male. But it doesn't really negatively affect my life in any meaningful way.

Although it kind of sucked as a kid being able to get nothing with my name on it.
posted by rhymer at 10:29 AM on April 24

My first girlfriend was named Ladonna. For the whole month I dated her people asked if I was dating a black girl. And the last time I was talking to someone about first girlfriends they asked the exact same question.

And no, she was a white girl from the rural part of Oklahoma that moved to the city when her dad got a job with a local radio station. Sweet girl, very smart. I was a crap-ass boyfriend, and regret how it ended to this day.
posted by dw at 10:29 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

So, is the name actually Laquita? I know someone made the claim up thread, but the only substance to that claim is an imagebucket link to a pic of a publicity photo from Lord of the Rings, so... for some reason... I'm kind of skeptical.
posted by shmegegge at 10:32 AM on April 24

I knew a kid in junior high named Derek Kurtz. He was Asian, and "Derek" was the Americanized name his parents gave him to fit in to the new country, while Kurtz was the surname of his adopted step-father. His real first name was Shingu. And one day us kids discovered this when we noticed it on some school document where it was still printed.

From that day forward, Derek became Shingu to us. I guess we just liked the sound of it better, and he didn't mind. Shingu was a good friend. I like to think we re-adopted his name for him and made him feel more welcome, that he had come to a new place, had been fearfully prepared to lose his name to some tacked on replacement, only to discover that all his new friends liked the original one better.

Then again, we never asked him whether he liked Derek or not. Hey, it was the seventh grade, after all.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:32 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

I think I'll adopt a female siamese cat, declaw it and name her Willie Mays.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:33 AM on April 24

Names aside, it is usually possible to tell a black person speaking on a phone call and if you deny this fact you are kidding yourself. Does it matter? to some, yes indeed. To others not at all.
posted by Postroad at 10:34 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

I like to think we re-adopted his name for him and made him feel more welcome, that he had come to a new place, had been fearfully prepared to lose his name to some tacked on replacement, only to discover that all his new friends liked the original one better.

A guy in our dorm from China had (adopted? been assigned?) the name Joey. When we found out that his real name was Kwok, we started calling him that and he got upset. He really, really wanted to be called Joey, so that's what we called him. Felt a little strange, though.
posted by jquinby at 10:35 AM on April 24

Maybe her blog has a blog about how hard it is to be a middle-aged blog with a grandma-blog's name.

I went to highschool with a girl from Hong Kong named Agnes. It was strange to hear such an anachronistic name on someone so young and attractive.
posted by delmoi at 10:37 AM on April 24

Just to nitpick on thing: (like a nitpicking white person) (as if that characterization isn't racism in and of itself)
I wish I had an ethnic name to use as an excuse for all the times my resume was dumped in the slushpile. Resumes get rejected. That's why you send out so many of them.
posted by Megafly at 10:38 AM on April 24

I had a neighbor, a black woman, whose mother gave her a steretypically white first name and stereotypically black middle name. She was a real estate agent and had separate business cards as White B. Lastname and W. Black Lastname (with photo) that she gave/sent potential clients and contacts according to what she perceived their ethnicity to be.
posted by notashroom at 10:38 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

You know what's crazy? Frank Black is white

His real name's Charles Thompson, Barry White's was Barrence Carter. I don't know what any of that means.
posted by psmealey at 10:39 AM on April 24

Names aside, it is usually possible to tell a black person speaking on a phone call and if you deny this fact you are kidding yourself.

Would it bother you if someone said this about Jews? Because I guarantee you there are people who think that about Jews.
posted by languagehat at 10:39 AM on April 24 [4 favorites]

This woman's simple, simply told story sure has proved to be a screen for people to project their issues onto.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 10:41 AM on April 24 [30 favorites]

I'd say that within a reasonable amount of certainty, you can guess that people on the phone are black by their accent, but it's far from 100%. White people from particular neighborhoods often 'sound black', and I know plenty of black people that don't have a noticeably 'black' accent.

It really has to do with where you grow up, what kind of school you went to, etc.
posted by empath at 10:42 AM on April 24

I wish I had an ethnic name to use as an excuse for all the times my resume was dumped in the slushpile. Resumes get rejected.

Ew.
posted by lunit at 10:43 AM on April 24 [4 favorites]

Names aside, it is usually possible to tell a black person speaking on a phone call and if you deny this fact you are kidding yourself.

Funny. People I speak with on the phone always assume that I'm 6'3". I'm only 6'1" and I often don't correct this misperception.
posted by psmealey at 10:44 AM on April 24 [3 favorites]

Yeah-- I mean, she's just telling us something that's unique about her life. I'm not sure why people are trying to make it something it's not.
posted by empath at 10:44 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

Reminds me of college. Freshman year, we lived two-to-a-room, four rooms to a floor, four floors to an entry. I lived on the bottom floor with a guy who had very little to do with anyone else in the dorm. April came around--so we'd been living there seven months at this point--and I mentioned something about Jerome (a Frenchman), who lived on the top floor.

My roommate, familiar only with the fact that he sometimes saw people walking in and out of our dorm--none of whom where black males--said, "There's a guy named Jerome in here? And he's white? A white guy named Jerome?"

He didn't believe me.
posted by uncleozzy at 10:44 AM on April 24

Names aside, it is usually possible to tell a black person speaking on a phone call and if you deny this fact you are kidding yourself.

Oh I have the best story about this. I worked at a large telecom a few years back. A guy calls in to talk about his bill. He gets my friend, who is white (I'm black). Well he immediately hears my friend talking and says "can I have your supervisor please?"

Well it was the evening shift, so we were our own supervisors based on seniority, and I was the senior person there. So I get on the phone, say the company name/department schpiel, tell him I'm the senior person, not a supervisor, the ask how I can help.

After he describes his issues, I say it's no problem and start to process things and work it out. The guy says "Oh thank goodness. I got some black guy at first ."
posted by cashman at 10:44 AM on April 24 [16 favorites]

Names aside, it is usually possible to tell a black person speaking on a phone call and if you deny this fact you are kidding yourself.

From the post:

"Give me someone white, and don't argue with me about it, just do it." (On these calls, I very much enjoyed getting the black supervisor with the British accent on the line; we both enjoyed putting one over on them. But I always made sure to tell the supervisor what was up.)
posted by sleepy pete at 10:45 AM on April 24 [3 favorites]

Had a Korean friend in college, second generation or something so his parents gave him the very American-sounding first name of Jay. His last name was San (sp?), so basically his full name was "Jason". He thought it was hilarious, but he also used to dress up as a Japanese person (rising sun headband) for Halloween.
posted by JeremiahBritt at 10:47 AM on April 24

I used to teach school in a Southern city, and some of the black students (not that other races were immune to this) came with unique names, e.g., Dartanya, Starkeesha, Prestina.

Remember that Cormac McCarthy novel (Outer Dark maybe?) where the rural (white) family had named all their daughters after words in a medical textbook? I think one was Urethra. . . Pretty funny part. You know, right up until the incest.

My dad's a paramedic, and he said once they picked up a girl whose name was Shitonya.
posted by resurrexit at 10:49 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

>>> She is an asshat, an idiot, a narcissistic tool, but unless she finds a way to restructure her DNA, she isn't black and her "black" name, whatever the fuck it is, doesn't make her any more a friend to the oppressed minorities than if she likes to cook collared greens and Okra.

I didn't read it as the author is claiming to be Friend to Blacks, nor did I see an overt statement of that sort. I read it as "here's my experience as a white person who is situationally exposed to discrimination toward blacks that another white person named Jennifer or Susie or Jane might not be."

And I think you mean "collard." But the irony is delightful.

>>> I think it really SUCKS that we still need white people to tell us about discrimination. Like, oh, NOW I get it! Those black people weren't just making it up/being hypersensitive/just as dumb as employers assumed they were/etc. Because this woman is white, so it really truly must have been racism! And if it had been a black woman, well, maybe it wasn't racism, maybe she just wasn't qualified for the job? Maybe she was just being an angry black woman?

Did you mean to say, "we still need white people to tell us about discrimination"? Because, the corollary is that we are supposed to stop talking about it completely... or white people can't have opinions and observations and experiences around it.

And I don't see anywhere the author claimed to be definitively sharing the collective wisdom of all the ages of minority oppression here. Nor did I see where she was figuring y'all had best LEARN about racism from an EXPERT... or that she believed that racism was a lie and now she knows it to be truth, and is here to speak truth to power.

>>> But that's the whole point. There is nothing even mildly interesting in what she has to say. Besides Seinfeld did it much better with Donna Chang.

"Nothing mildly interesting" might be your opinion, but others here obviously disagree. And I think it's disingenuous to say that one person's real-life experience < a sitcom episode. It's apples and oranges.

>>> Names aside, it is usually possible to tell a black person speaking on a phone call and if you deny this fact you are kidding yourself.

This is total bullshit. I spent 18 months as a telephone poller for Gallup. I had to call people across all cultural and socioeconomic lines from all over the country, for hours on end, day in, day out. The very last question of every single poll, no matter the subject, is to ask the pollee for their gender, income bracket, and race. I spent the first two months of that job getting over my pre-conceived notions that certain racial backgrounds came with vocal identifiers.

You can often tell a person's level of education, or what region of the country they were raised in, from a phone call. But if you think you can determine race, you are dead wrong, and uninformed.

I have given up trying to understand the thing that makes so many people feel compelled to kneejerk us out of any interesting or meaningful conversation about race, gender or sexual orientation. If you need to maintain your elite-liberal cred, put something in your profile. But dismissing this woman's statements because her writing doesn't meet your standards... or because white people = can't have opinions about racism... or because you have a class bias confirming what middle-class white Southerners must or cannot know about the plight of the oppressed... is killing a lot of otherwise decent conversations we might have.

This was an interesting read, nooneyouknow. Thanks for the link.
posted by pineapple at 10:49 AM on April 24 [45 favorites]

Bunch of White dudes discussing racism? Check.
Postroad says something dumb? Check.
All we need is jonmc to show up to let us know everyone is racist and we're good to go.
posted by chunking express at 10:50 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

Re: the appopriation thing.

When I was really little (like 7), I remember once calling my [really white] brother the n-word. I had no idea what it meant, but my mom got really, really mad at me. I told her that I made it up, and I think I really thought that I had. Funny how racism just gets internalized like that.

I can see how having that name could have been good for her, but it still leaves me feeling vaguely uncomfortable. Maybe if her and her mother had done more research about the name after they first realized that it was a "black" name (instead of her mother continuing to insist that she made it up), it wouldn't rub me the wrong way so much. As it is, though, I'm not sure white people naming their children "black" names is really a positive trend, or an accountable thing to do.
posted by lunit at 10:51 AM on April 24

And y'all just need to read the article and quit actin' like a bunch a naggers.
posted by resurrexit at 10:51 AM on April 24

I filled in the name with "Keasha." I suppose that's because my step-mother, white and in her 60s, has always been called that, so it seems natural to me. I don' t know how she came to be called Keasha specifically, but her given name is the same as various cousins, aunts, nieces and grand-nieces. I really really want to ask her about what her experience has been like.
posted by Stewriffic at 10:52 AM on April 24

Sugaree? Peggy-O? (Loose) Lucy? (Ramble On) Rose? Stella (Blue)? Oh, wait, I might have misunderstood.
posted by fixedgear at 10:54 AM on April 24

Translation: "Meh. I have no interest in this, but instead of saying that, I'll claim it is not interesting in and of itself, thus implying anyone who claims to be interested is a liar or a moron."

More like: "Oh great, another window into racism as experienced by white people in America."

Followed by: "Why didn't she just link to a YouTube of the Donna Change episode and add a comment like 'OMG this happens to me all the time!!!'"
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:57 AM on April 24

Well, I was floored by some of the anecdotes in the blog. Does that mean I've led a sheltered life? And then, yes, I was a bit skeptical. Kids in my elementary school could never have used "the n word" without being severely reprimanded at the very least, certainly not when addressing the teacher in front of the class. Does that mean I'm a nit-picking white racist?

And do people really refuse to accept help from others over the phone based on race, or perceived race? I had no idea that happened either! And I'm in the South, so I should be in the very hotbed of racist practices, to add another stereotype on to the heap.
posted by misha at 10:57 AM on April 24

Did you mean to say, "we still need white people to tell us about discrimination"? Because, the corollary is that we are supposed to stop talking about it completely... or white people can't have opinions and observations and experiences around it.

And I don't see anywhere the author claimed to be definitively sharing the collective wisdom of all the ages of minority oppression here. Nor did I see where she was figuring y'all had best LEARN about racism from an EXPERT... or that she believed that racism was a lie and now she knows it to be truth, and is here to speak truth to power.

...

But dismissing this woman's statements ... because white people = can't have opinions about racism

I can see how it might seem that I was dismissing this woman's story, and I apologize for my sloppy writing. I was not saying and did not mean to say that white people can't have opinions about racism or that they should be quiet about their thoughts and experiences because of their race.

What I was trying to say was that people who are discriminated against on the basis of their race tell us all the time that this is happening. They write about it. They talk about it. This is one more in a very long line of similar stories. But this story is news because the author is white. And that is what makes me angry.
posted by prefpara at 10:59 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

Oh, and on the phone thing, my voice changed early, way before my body did, to a low bass*. The already awkward process of a nerdy kid calling up the girl he has a crush on was made much worse when protective fathers assumed I was some 30-year-old pervert that met their daughter on the internet. I used to crack my voice on purpose sometimes.

That and getting women hitting on me when I answered the phone at the pizza place I worked at, only to have them look hopefully around and past me when they came in to pick up their orders.

*I can sing Rachmaninoff's choral bass parts, which I guess is hard, as I was one of two people in the college choir who could hit those notes. On the other hand, those were the only notes I could hit.
posted by JeremiahBritt at 11:00 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

This is one more in a very long line of similar stories. But this story is news because the author is white. And that is what makes me angry.

If only she were to be abducted and then she'd really be famous.
posted by psmealey at 11:02 AM on April 24

I'm probably being too English about this, but the idea of giving anybody a made-up africanised name seems kind of silly to me, regardless of race. But I also frown at weird spellings and names based on science fiction characters.

(Oh, and I don't think of them as 'black' names, because it's very much a Black American thing)
posted by Artw at 11:03 AM on April 24

My real name is Brad. I am an actor. Raised in California.
That is why I'm Dizzy.
posted by Dizzy at 11:03 AM on April 24

...would have had her carrying the same ID as a very famous, barrier-breaking black baseball player. So she got a different name.

You almost named her Curt Flood? Crazy, dude.
posted by NoMich at 12:41 PM on April 24 [2 favorites +] [!]

Ha ha. pretty darned funny. But BIGGER than that barrier. Really. Still funny, though. I will never look at my daughter the same way again.
posted by etaoin at 11:04 AM on April 24

My first name is the same as about 25 prominent rappers. And I'm white.

Of course, it's a common goddamn first name, which is one of the reasons why I'm changing it legally.
posted by grubi at 11:05 AM on April 24

What I was trying to say was that people who are discriminated against on the basis of their race tell us all the time that this is happening. They write about it. They talk about it. This is one more in a very long line of similar stories. But this story is news because the author is white. And that is what makes me angry.

That makes a lot of sense, but I think the fact that she's white makes for a pretty compelling case when addressing folks who do not want to admit that racism exists. In a world where people make comments like this:

I wish I had an ethnic name to use as an excuse for all the times my resume was dumped in the slushpile.

I think it might be helpful to read the experiences of a woman who functions as her own experiment, you know? She's got a lifetime of accumulated experience as to how she is treated when folks know her name, or don't, or see her, or don't, and it might be more persuasive to someone than the experience of someone who's always "read" by others as being the same race. I totally agree that it is shitty that there are people who deny the existence of racism and look for excuses to discount the experiences of people of color, but given that such people exist, I like that "Daisy" wrote what she did.
posted by moxiedoll at 11:09 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

There's a lot of overlap between names that are perceived as "black" and ones that are stereotypically Utahn (Mormon, to be more specific), so I wasn't even trying to guess.

By the way, if her name is LaQuita, it's on the list.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:12 AM on April 24 [3 favorites]

What I was trying to say was that people who are discriminated against on the basis of their race tell us all the time that this is happening. They write about it. They talk about it. This is one more in a very long line of similar stories. But this story is news because the author is white.

Hmm. I read it differently, as a white woman explaining why she's never had the luxury (I think that's the wrong word there, but I'm not sure of a better one) of white-person-obliviousness to her own privilege, and why that experience has made her an ally.

Although that's probably because I assumed she made the post in response to this recent controversy, and the ensuing discussions 'round those parts about what it means to really be an ally. I don't think her intended audience was one that she thought needed to be convinced that racism existed.

I could be wrong, though.
posted by iminurmefi at 11:12 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

"My first name is the same as about 25 prominent rappers"

Ice grubi?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:12 AM on April 24 [2 favorites]

Josh Gibson?
posted by mrgrimm at 11:13 AM on April 24

Oh, and on the phone thing, my voice changed early, way before my body did, to a low bass*. The already awkward process of a nerdy kid calling up the girl he has a crush on was made much worse when protective fathers assumed I was some 30-year-old pervert that met their daughter on the internet. I used to crack my voice on purpose sometimes.

Did you learn to instill confidence in them by outlining how you were never gonna give them up, let them down, etc?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:17 AM on April 24 [10 favorites]

I'm not sure white people naming their children "black" names is really a positive trend, or an accountable thing to do.

Are you saying that people should only be given names that are "appropriate" for their race? Why would you care? And who determines what is appropriate anyway?
posted by oneirodynia at 11:18 AM on April 24

My name is Malcolm. I am half Caucasian-American and half Asian-American. Yes it's weird.

So ... I guess that makes you Malcolm in the Middle?
posted by pardonyou? at 11:20 AM on April 24 [3 favorites]

My name (Felicity) is very English and unusual in the states; not black or white, just unusual in that a surprising number of people have never encountered it before. Some years back, when I was living in Baltimore, I entered a couple of paintings in an Artscape show with the theme of Urbanism or Urban living or something like that. The show was restricted to artists living in the Baltimore city limits, which I definitely was, and, this being the early nineties, I hadn't yet gotten the memo about urban being a synonym for black. So off they went and word came back that two of my paintings had gotten in. I was thrilled; I'd never gotten a piece into Artscape before. So I went to the opening and was a little surprised when the curator, who was black, did a complete double take when I walked in and introduced myself. Then I discovered that I was the only white artist in the show. My weird name and address had kept me in the judging pool. Oh well, what the hell. Once everyone got over the initial shock, they were very nice to me and the show even got moved to another gallery in West Baltimore for a couple months.
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:20 AM on April 24

List of Wrong

Metallica? WTF?
posted by Artw at 11:21 AM on April 24

#There's someone in the office complex where I work who has a "Chinese-sounding" last name, yet she is blonde-haired and blue eyed (rrrrrworrrr, she's a real hottie, too). I've always been curious about her heritage, but I've never felt that I could ask her about it.

So, KokuRyu -- you work in the same office-complex as Rashida Jones? Wish her and her Dad, Quincy my best, please.
posted by vhsiv at 11:26 AM on April 24

My first name is the same as about 25 prominent rappers.

MC?
posted by zippy at 11:28 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

Maybe I should clarify: my LEGAL first name is the same as the LEGAL first name of about 25 prominent rappers.

Ahem.
posted by grubi at 11:30 AM on April 24

My surname is (usually) Asian. Two stories: When I did an overnight at the U of Chicago as a prospective student, my two hosts arrived--both were Asian women. They picked me off a list, it seems and their faces fell when they discovered that I was a white chick. "We were gonna take you to this Big 10 gook thing," one of the women told me and I was stunned to hear that word come out of an Asian person's mouth. They pawned me off to a white floormate and ditched me.

Second story: I sent away for a grad school application from the University of Georgia. What arrived was an application for international students.

The junk mail in Korean and Chinese oddly stopped a few years ago, however.
posted by gsh at 11:30 AM on April 24

I wonder how people with asian or indian accents are treated on support calls? Women v/s men? How are fat people treated at clothing stores? How are poor people treated at expensive hotels? How are red necks treat at five star restaurants? How are atheists treated at holiday parties? Men at dyke bars? Gay men in locker rooms?

Racism, Sexism, Sizism, Classism, Reigousism, Orientationism. Discrimination is not the same as dislike. Some people don't like some groups. Some groups don't like other groups. No group unconditionally accepts all the other groups. No group is free of ridicule and cruelty. Some groups have historical dislike for each other.

Let's not confuse the dimension that includes rude and nasty behavior with the dimension in which people's rights are abused.
posted by ewkpates at 11:31 AM on April 24

One of my neighbors (in Florida) used to be a white woman named Laquita, probably in her 50s now. I thought it sounded like a black name but my mom always said, No it's a Southern thing.
posted by Durin's Bane at 11:31 AM on April 24

Names hurt. "Huguenot's have had a hard time too. I can't recall how often I've had to say 'Yeah, we were chucked out of France, it sucks to be a protestant."
posted by tellurian at 11:33 AM on April 24

Here is a list of SNL characters. My bet would be Starkisha.
posted by Andy's Gross Wart at 11:34 AM on April 24

Let's not confuse the dimension that includes rude and nasty behavior with the dimension in which people's rights are abused.

I don't think that's a distinction that's easily drawn. In places where such rude and nasty behavior flourish (or are not actively discouraged), it often doesn't take much for the abuse of rights or worse to take root.
posted by psmealey at 11:38 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I wish I had an ethnic name to use as an excuse for all the times my resume was dumped in the slushpile. Resumes get rejected.

Yep, resumes get rejected, tons of em. And that's the excuse employers will inevitably use if you happen to question them about it. See, plausible deniability is so easy! (I'll just add that it can suck, in some parts of the country at least, to have an Arabic-looking name on your resume in post-9/11 America.)
posted by naju at 11:41 AM on April 24

Are you saying that people should only be given names that are "appropriate" for their race? Why would you care? And who determines what is appropriate anyway?

No, I don't think people should be told what to name their children. It just seems to me that white people naming their children "ethnic" names might be part of the trend of naming children increasingly obscure names. And it feels a little bit too much like white people cherrypicking what they like about other cultures, in this case "interesting" or "unique" names, for my comfort. See cultural appropriation.

It's a complicated issue; it's not that I want to determine what is and is not appropriate (which depends on the context anyway) and I certainly don't intend to offer any authoritarian solution. But it does strike me as a disturbing trend that fits into a pattern of dominent cultures stealing things from other cultures, and therefore I think it's worth talking about and caring about.
posted by lunit at 11:42 AM on April 24 [1 favorite]

No doubt people associate race with certain names. I have a black friend whose given name is one of those. He legally changed it to Benjamin because he didn't feel he was taken seriously when using his original given name
posted by Carbolic at 11:42 AM on April 24

Were any other Americans amused that the uber-Anglo Harry Potter villian was named Lucius? I've never met a white Lucius.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:44 AM on April 24

My name is actually Pamela Anderson Leigh. You have no idea.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:47 AM on April 24

A man called Horse. A horse named Dog. A boy named Sue. My boss' name is Bitch.
posted by doctorschlock at 11:49 AM on April 24

When my white daughter was pregnant, her black mother-in-law made it a point to tell her-and I quote-not to name the baby a "ghetto" name. She'd followed her own advice when she named my daughter's husband-both he and my grandchild have the whitest sounding names imaginable.


I think it is foolish to think that names in general don't carry baggage of some sort or another. I think the article speaks to how people make lazy and ignorant assumptions about others, whether by name or by race. The author's perspective is unique precisely because she is white-because, guess what? We white people have even blindly internalized the bad treatment black people get and don't even NOTICE it so that when the same thing happens to "one of us" the contrast gets our attention.
posted by konolia at 11:49 AM on April 24 [5 favorites]

I've always maintained there are no black people named Chad.
posted by electroboy at 11:51 AM on April 24

There are black people IN Chad, I hear.
posted by empath at 11:54 AM on April 24 [3 favorites]

A very interesting article. Thanks for posting it.

For a long time, some people my wife worked with assumed that her kids were from a previous relationship. They'd met her obviously white kids and heard, but not met, the name of her obviously black husband.

If I ever experienced negative reactions to my name and perceived race, I was too dense to notice. But there was a friend of one of my kids who was delighted that we had the same and would tell all his mostly black friends about my name. I enjoyed that.
posted by maurice at 12:01 PM on April 24

a cursory search of xtube proves your thesis, empath.
posted by heeeraldo at 12:03 PM on April 24

ITS NOT A BLACK NAME. ITS OUR RANCH. ITS OUR HOME. WE ARE FREEEEEEE
posted by scarabic at 12:04 PM on April 24 [2 favorites]

This school was not named after that Martin Luther King, but a relative of mine, who was white. I expect that's why the school's website prefers to just call it "King Middle School" instead of using his full name.
posted by JanetLand at 12:04 PM on April 24

I've always maintained there are no black people named Chad.

You were joking, but I'm bored: Chad, Brad, Ingrid.
posted by cashman at 12:04 PM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I ran into something similar back in my online dating days. I was corresponding with a woman from Oregon, and spoke to her on the phone a few times before we exchanged pictures. She was surprised to find out I'm white, since she associated southern accents with being black. It didn't matter one way or the other to her, but she was shocked.

My wife runs into the exact opposite situation. Black dad, white mom, and in the binary world in which most of us live, most folks percieve her as black. Her name, though, is white as white can be, as is her phone voice, so she often gets funny looks when she shows up for doctor's appointments and such.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:07 PM on April 24

My last name is "Moon" and, when showing up for job interviews or other pre-arranged meetings with strangers, people have often blurted out "I assumed you were Korean!" or something like that. The first time it happened I was in high school and thought it was sort of funny. It happened again just a couple of weeks ago. I'm white, Irish-American. People definitely make assumptions.
posted by Miko at 12:10 PM on April 24

pineapple: You can often tell a person's level of education, or what region of the country they were raised in, from a phone call. But if you think you can determine race, you are dead wrong, and uninformed.

Dr. John Baugh, professor of education and linguistics at Stanford, disagrees. I'm sure he would appreciate an email or a phone call from you correcting his research with your personal anecdotes.

Baugh's ongoing study shows that over the phone many Americans are able to accurately guess the age, race, sex, ethnicity, region of heritage and other social demographics based on a few sentences, even just a hello.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:15 PM on April 24 [7 favorites]

Everyone assumes I'm Jewish, which is usually cool, though sometimes a bizarre window into anti-Semitism. "You're not… you know… are you?" says my girlfriend's aunt. "Republican? No."

I call myself Costume Jewry.
posted by klangklangston at 12:15 PM on April 24 [1 favorite]

Chad Goodridge is Black.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:16 PM on April 24

"You were joking, but I'm bored: Chad, Brad, Ingrid."

"Of course, Sherman. You've heard of Hanging Chad."
posted by klangklangston at 12:17 PM on April 24 [2 favorites]

Welcome to everyone coming over from MetaFilter, but hey, go easy on me, okay? I know I ain't JG fucking Ballard and my writing is not world-class. I stopped writing for almost a decade and only picked it up again (in an admittedly piecemeal fashion) on blogs and message boards. I've only been blogging since June of last year.

In short, ain't no reason to be MEAN. As a previous commenter opined: mean people suck.

Thanks.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:21 PM on April 24 [1 favorite]

For whatever it’s worth I came within an inch of being named “Merlin”. Hippy parents.
posted by Artw at 12:24 PM on April 24

Yeah, isn't it nice to know that in some cases getting your blogged linked on metafilter is only full of more articulate insults and one liners than if it had been linked on fark? Seriously, some of the criticisms of her blog and the crap people have said is depressing.
posted by Stunt at 12:25 PM on April 24 [1 favorite]

blogged? blog. how the hell did that slip through. right then.

Also, interesting link, thanks nooneyouknow.
posted by Stunt at 12:26 PM on April 24

Artw, that was my grandfather's name (though spelled differently), and his family were REALLY not hippies. (He hated it, apparently, and went by his initials.)
posted by small_ruminant at 12:28 PM on April 24

I can entirely understand.

Being named after King Arthur is not nearly so bad, when I was though growing up in the UK I defiantly noticed it was a name mainly reserved for dead historical personages or the very old.

if I have a son I’m going to name him “Beowolf”. Ok, maybe not
posted by Artw at 12:41 PM on April 24

Seriously, some of the criticisms of her blog and the crap people have said is depressing.

You're not new here, so I have to assume that you don't visit that often. What you say is pretty unfortunate, but we throw far worse directly at each other on a daily basis. No one gets out of here alive.
posted by psmealey at 12:45 PM on April 24

I defiantly noticed it was a name mainly reserved for dead historical personages or the very old.

as well as wealthy idle drunks and hapless reluctant hitchhikers.
posted by shmegegge at 12:46 PM on April 24

You’ll notice both those examples have an air of benign befuddlement about them, and that has more than a little to do with the name that was chosen. I was not really completely okay with this as a kid.
posted by Artw at 12:49 PM on April 24

Also a type of fucking cat food, and don;t get me started on the cartoon characters...
posted by Artw at 12:50 PM on April 24

Baugh's ongoing study shows that over the phone many Americans are able to accurately guess the age, race, sex, ethnicity, region of heritage and other social demographics based on a few sentences, even just a hello.

It's absurd to suggest that it can't be done, especially when given some other information, such as the name and what part of the country you're calling from.
posted by empath at 12:53 PM on April 24

I'm glad I never had kids when I was in my early 20s or all of them would have had Elvish names. I think one thing may be related to the other, there...
posted by empath at 12:55 PM on April 24 [1 favorite]

Living in the US with my accent and, I guess to a certain extend, my name I get profiled as being very polite, smart and posh all the time. Ha ha ha, fools.
posted by Artw at 12:57 PM on April 24 [1 favorite]

I have given up trying to understand the thing that makes so many people feel compelled to kneejerk us out of any interesting or meaningful conversation about race, gender or sexual orientation.

BTW -- this past weekend I watched a rerun of a recent 90-minute MSNBC program 'Conversation About Race in America' which followed 'Meeting David Wilson' [MeFi thread]. If they replay both programs, I recommend watching them.
posted by ericb at 12:58 PM on April 24

Gee, I'm a white guy with a white name. I feel so left out now.
posted by briank at 1:00 PM on April 24 [1 favorite]

Is it weird that right as I was reading this I saw a meeting request by a somebody named "Daiquiri Jimenez" at my office and found it to be an interesting synchronicity?

Truthfully, I have always wanted a more interesting name. Kudos to those who are different, in whatever way they are.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 1:01 PM on April 24

Yeah, definitely not new here, but I do visit very regularly. Yeah, we say worse about ourselves, fine. I just was rubbed the wrong way by the direction of a lot of this in regards to what seems like someone's personal blog.

We pay admission to be bullied around here now! No reason she should get a freebie. If she wants snark she had better come pay her $5 just like everyone else.
posted by Stunt at 1:03 PM on April 24