A³ + B³ = C³

April 24, 2008 11:14 AM

I recently posed the following statement to my fellow, walled-off employees:
"True or False: Cubicles reduce office sociability by 100%"
I received no answer.

How do you cope?

posted by yoyoceramic (51 comments total)

My podmates think you're crazy.
posted by DenOfSizer at 11:16 AM on April 24, 2008

I am singing the Prisoner theme right now. (...da-da...bum Bum BUM!)

By hook or by crook, we will!
posted by cowbellemoo at 11:24 AM on April 24, 2008

you know, I've almost never edited a wikipedia article before. In fact, I might never have, but it's possible I did once and don't remember, so I'll stick with "almost." But then I read that article on I have no mouth and I must scream.

And I quote:

This tale of the evil that man can unleash from himself through science

No no. I don't think so, thank you.

"It" serves quite well enough.
posted by shmegegge at 11:27 AM on April 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

You make it seem like office sociability is a desireable thing. My office mates include a chronic cougher (heavy smoker), someone who uses the speakerphone instead of picking up the handset, and a guy who likes to stand in front of my cube but doesn't say anything. I'd love to be isolated from these people.
posted by tommasz at 11:30 AM on April 24, 2008 [9 favorites]

This post is worth it just for the phrase: "It is the Fidel Castro of office furniture."

Which, I guess, makes the fax machine the Stalin of the office, fluorescent lights the Mussolini and the Hitler of the office is clearly that guy two rows over with the tiny moustache, suspect combover and genocidal hatred of Jews who keeps getting into spats with the fax machine before declaring a non-agression pact. Last I heard he was eating fluorescent light fixtures.
posted by Kattullus at 11:31 AM on April 24, 2008 [5 favorites]

Previously.
posted by sciurus at 11:38 AM on April 24, 2008

A couple of months ago, we removed a whole bunch of cubicle walls and made several other walls half-height, making bullpens of a sort. Since then, we talk more, we collaborate more, we hang out after work, we're happier, and most importantly we accomplish tons more.

It's unequivocally been a good thing.
posted by Plutor at 11:43 AM on April 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I hate my cube. It's a a grey color, and it's filthy from never having been cleaned. ( I clean the desk and my stuff religiously, but I'm not going to rent a steamer and scrub down the fabric walls.) They still don't provide any privacy. It's cramped and I still have to share it with another worker. I still have to listen to Mr. I-slurp-my-drink-like-a-little-kid, Mr. I'm-important-and-everyone-should-hear-my-phone-conversations-so-they-know-it, and Miss I-like-to-listen-to-rap-at-work-so-you-should,too!
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 11:45 AM on April 24, 2008

How do you cope?

By getting my own office.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 11:48 AM on April 24, 2008

I cope by smoking, coughing and listening to rap music.
posted by hojoki at 11:51 AM on April 24, 2008 [5 favorites]

I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.
posted by Brocktoon at 11:52 AM on April 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

I like my cube because I dislike my co-workers. Plus, I do not want to socialize with them. I don't really care about your children, etc, just let me do my job.
posted by govtdrone at 11:56 AM on April 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

Nothing about the bullpen environment is appealing to me. The more privacy, the better. Nothing irks me more than the typical cubical designed so that the worker inside has his back to passing foot traffic. "Yeah, lets set it up so that workers always have people looking over their shoulders. That'd be great."

No, it isn't.

My current workspace is designed in such a way that my nearest neighbor in an office across the hall can see every move I make. It's like having a backseat driver watching you work.
posted by dsquid at 11:59 AM on April 24, 2008 [3 favorites]

dsquid: "Nothing about the bullpen environment is appealing to me. The more privacy, the better. Nothing irks me more than the typical cubical designed so that the worker inside has his back to passing foot traffic. "Yeah, lets set it up so that workers always have people looking over their shoulders. That'd be great.""

Nothing about the closed-in environment is appealing to me. If you have a problem with people looking over your shoulders, you're either surfing too much (I don't define "too much" as >0, since I'm currently posting to MetaFilter at work) or you're in an adversarial work environment. I didn't really like my cubicles until we opened them up. Now it's not a cube, it's a group work area. I look forward to going to work now because I no longer sit alone in a dark drab box.
posted by Plutor at 12:11 PM on April 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I guess paranoia is another possible explanation. Do you think the neighbor across the hall is watching every move you make? Or just realize that he can?
posted by Plutor at 12:16 PM on April 24, 2008

I finally graduated from having my name on a tag on my shirt to having my name on my office door which has some benefits, like being able to slack off, listen to my music, slurp my coffee, cough, and sniffle without bothering anyone. However, I've noticed that I'm totally socially isolated from my co-workers, which sucks a lot more than I ever thought it would. I've found myself losing the ability to socialize generally due to the sequestering. Now I'm not one of those extroverts that insists that loners are somehow damaged ore really, really want to socialize but don't know how; I'm half-loner (on my dad's side) myself. But imposed solitude sucks in ways that self-directed solitude never could.
posted by lekvar at 12:27 PM on April 24, 2008

I like cubicles. Maybe I like the ones best that are around chest height, so folks can talk face-to-face by standing, or talk over the top from their chairs. And folks who need to get a job done can have their distractions minimized. I also like having a little space that is mine to personalize. But for me, it's mostly about limiting distractions.
posted by Goofyy at 12:35 PM on April 24, 2008

Our cubicles are made of see-through mesh. I have contemplated murder (for the good of our micro-society!) more than once.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 12:51 PM on April 24, 2008

How do you cope?

I repeat to myself "Posts don't have to contain multiple links or end with a discussion-sparking question". Then I yell something about not being a number, and club Gorrister with an icicle.
posted by ormondsacker at 1:02 PM on April 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Listening to people talk about fluorescent-lit stare-at-the-computer jobs full of awful people and cubicles, I remember why I dropped out of college. Good resumes mostly get terrible jobs.
posted by keratacon at 1:04 PM on April 24, 2008

I've shared a table in a crowded room with three other people, and I've had a cubicle with near-complete isolation, and a few steps in between (like my current 4-foot-walled cubicle.) I've also had an office to myself with a door, and my own couch, and shared a huge office with three other people far outside of arm's reach.

My preference falls into two categories:

- If the work I need to do is a solo effort, or is loud, or occasionally involves another person working directly with me with a lot of conversation, my own office is great.

- If there's any collaboration beyond that, any walls higher than four feet suck, and sharing a large room with no partitions (but not a table) with my collaborators was best of all.

The full-isolation cube never wins, because you neither have privacy nor ease of collaboration; you don't have the space of an office and you don't have the contact for collaboration. It's truly the worst of both worlds.
posted by davejay at 1:05 PM on April 24, 2008

But for me, it's mostly about limiting distractions.

Noise bothers me more than visual distractions, so I find I prefer the low-walled style layout. High walls do a poor job muffling noise but a great job making people think they're in private. So they listen to their music through speakers instead of headphones, talk louder, cut their finger nails, etc. With the low walls, its obvious that everyone can hear and see you so most people behave appropriately.

Private offices (even shared, if the other people are decent enough) are ideal.
posted by Gary at 1:05 PM on April 24, 2008

Being a programmer, I just want silence. My cube with high walls (about 5 ft) helps in that regard somewhat, but my noise cancelling headphones are the real heros. Using those with some quite music drowns most everything else out.
posted by Bort at 1:20 PM on April 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I've worked in private offices for ten years now and don't know if I could go back to working in a cube. The light would drive me crazy. I like to keep my light off and my blinds down when the sun is out but short of putting a tarp over the top of your cube, you're stuck with the glaring overhead light.
posted by octothorpe at 1:28 PM on April 24, 2008

I work from home. It's not great for my social life, but it does have perks that compensate. For example, I'm not wearing pants.
posted by kyrademon at 1:37 PM on April 24, 2008 [4 favorites]

For example, I'm not wearing pants.

Me neither, however I work in an open plan office with no dividers, anyway, sorry I have to go now the police are here.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:57 PM on April 24, 2008

I now work (at least until the end of the week) in an "open office" layout. I hate it, and wish for my old cube. Privacy rules, both for concentration and general comfort.
posted by ignignokt at 2:01 PM on April 24, 2008

I'm a college student a year from graduation and this discussion is REALLY making me want to never ever ever leave school.
posted by WalterMitty at 2:05 PM on April 24, 2008

At my last job I had a large cubicle that I shared with three of my friends. It was great. We put in a couch and had a whole bunch of toys. I never got anything done.

Now I'm in an office that I share with one other person. She travels all the time, so it's basically a private office, and I get so much more done. I've always preferred to do my work alone, so this is really ideal. I can play music without wearing headphones, surf the web occasionally without feeling like I'm going to be persecuted for it, and I can turn the lights out when I get a headache.

It's true that I don't socialize with my current coworkers as much as I did at my previous job, but my ex-coworkers are still good friends and we hang out all the time. I don't really feel a strong need to have such a personal relationship with these people.
posted by backseatpilot at 2:06 PM on April 24, 2008

Where my comrade in arms and I work is called "The Cave."

I'd remark on it being a cubicle, but that assumes The Cave was actually planned somehow. I'll snap some quickie photos later if I can and post them over on Flickr, with appropriate linkage.

Then I will challenge you all to figure out which of the two of us is the slob.
posted by Samizdata at 2:26 PM on April 24, 2008

How do you cope?

First, I made myself an office in an old storage room with a door and told folks it was so I could do interviews and employee development. I had seniority and the truth on my side, so it stuck. I had an office.

Now, I work remotely (i.e., from home). It's lonely, but never lonely enough that I suddenly wish I were back in a cube-farm. Those things are inhumane.

A truly open layout grouped by functional roles is far more preferable if one's company can't afford to give each employee discrete space or they perform work best achieved in a passively collaborative atmosphere.
posted by batmonkey at 2:34 PM on April 24, 2008

I hate cubicles and shared work spaces. That is, if I'm expected to actually work. I have a large private office and it's much more conducive to productivity than my previous small office next to the conference room and reception desk or the cubicle I had before that. Noise is really distracting for me, so if I had to go back to cubicle-land, I'm pretty sure I'd be investing in some good noice-cancelling headphones and earplugs.
posted by notashroom at 2:38 PM on April 24, 2008

This thread is not complete without a link to jwz's cube with its tent of doom.
posted by marble at 3:57 PM on April 24, 2008

How do you cope?

By closing the door to my private office, looking out of one of my windows, and laughing maniacally.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 4:41 PM on April 24, 2008

I would be intensely grateful for a cube. I do not want to hear my open-plan office mate chew, or smell his stale-ass smoker's smell. Gah.
posted by everichon at 6:12 PM on April 24, 2008

I've had a good cubicle exactly once. Our department had desks that raised and lowered just like a typical office chair, so we could work standing if we wanted. The cubicle walls were half-height, so we actually got to interact with our coworkers. And the area of the building I was in had a huge wall of windows so everyone got a healthy dose of sunshine and a pretty decent view of the outdoors. The job itself was only so-so, but the working environment made it a heck of a lot more tolerable. People were hardly ever in bad moods, either

Every other time I've worked in a cubicle has been pretty dismal. I also once worked in a place with no cubicles at all - the techs were crammed in elbow-to-elbow. 50% turnover in less than a year.

Cubicles can be done well, but mostly they just suck.
posted by eratus at 6:40 PM on April 24, 2008

I work from home, too. Mostly in a frayed robe.

I don't get many visitors, and even those tend to be the only time they ever visit.
posted by maxwelton at 7:40 PM on April 24, 2008

A while ago we switched to the "open-concept" cubes and I hate them so damn much. The frequency that senior people do un-subtle fly-bys to see who is in early or late doubled or tripled. I also like working with my shoes off and I think this makes people assume a level of casualness that leads one person to giving me un-asked-for/unwelcome neck rubs 3 or 4 times a week. I also find it is much harder to talk to recruiters who want to find me a new job.
posted by milkrate at 10:19 PM on April 24, 2008

The only downside to my office is that I don't have windows to the outside, otherwise it's perfect in every way (except that we only have 12 gigabit ethernet jacks). In the unseen area there's a bar-height standing desk built into the wall cabinetry, a couch, a whiteboard, some storage cabinets and a moving cart.

I share it with two other coworkers, a modded Wii, a bunch of robots, and a lot of varied computers. We love it.

Just-the-right-size, livable offices shared between like-minded people that work collaboratively on undefined schedules are awesome.
posted by blasdelf at 11:12 PM on April 24, 2008

We conquer the cubicle when we plan games over the LAN at lunch. NO NO, GO LEFT!

My ideal office space is isolated and quiet, but to protect the outside world from my desire to sing and occasionally drum along to the music in my headphones.
posted by Eideteker at 6:11 AM on April 25, 2008

Can't we just go back to the good old days where monks had their individual cells where they whiled the years away hand-copying manuscripts?
posted by Pollomacho at 6:18 AM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

milkrate: you know that's pretty much textbook harassment, right? You don't need to let that happen, not even once a week. Not even once at all.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about cubicles/open plan layouts and talking about noise and having people behind you all the time and always having to be "on" and...man, she got me all worked up about what we're often asked to trade for our paychecks.

And then I come back here and you upped the ante with that mention, and, man, I'm spending all day grateful to be able to work remotely from my own cluttered, halfway-unpacked office.

I hope you're able to make that whole thing stop. What an unsavory thing to have happen at work. Ugh!
posted by batmonkey at 6:59 AM on April 25, 2008

I was talking to a friend yesterday about cubicles/open plan layouts and talking about noise and having people behind you all the time and always having to be "on" and...man, she got me all worked up about what we're often asked to trade for our paychecks.

Then I read these comments...

milkrate: you know that's pretty much textbook harassment, right? You don't need to let that happen, not even once a week. Not even once at all. I hope you're able to make that stop. What an unsavory thing to have happen at work. Ugh!

everichon: you know, I think I'm starting to forget one of the reasons I moved into that storage closet was out of desperation to escape my fellow prisoners.

eratus: over-use of space in general sucks, but elbow-to-elbow techs sounds like a nightmare arrangement for everyone involved.

...so I'm spending all day grateful to be able to work remotely from my own cluttered, halfway-unpacked office.



...And being envious of blasdelf.
posted by batmonkey at 7:21 AM on April 25, 2008

agh! dbl! forgive, please :( it didn't show up and i thought i was still building it :(

(if someone could delete the first one, i'd be grateful)
posted by batmonkey at 7:22 AM on April 25, 2008

It's not about the walls, it's about the windows.
posted by furtive at 9:44 AM on April 25, 2008

I mean, seriously, how am I supposed to rock out to "Oh, Sherrie" in a cubicle environment?

AH SHOULDA BEEN GAWWWWAWWWN
KNOWIN HOWAI
MADEJA FEEEEL
posted by Eideteker at 3:48 PM on April 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

I find it surprising that this thread went 47 comments with nobody mentioning that there are no integer values for A, B and C that would satisfy the post title.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 8:26 PM on April 26, 2008

1 is an integer.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:11 AM on April 30, 2008

As is 0.
posted by Plutor at 8:56 AM on April 30, 2008

True, but a triangle witha side that's length is 0 is called a line.
posted by Pollomacho at 9:02 AM on April 30, 2008

I see no reference to a triangle in the post title.
posted by Plutor at 12:46 PM on April 30, 2008