Comments on: How Not to Run for Congress

How Not to Run for Congress

cerebus19 — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:04:26 -0800

Some advice for Mefites who want to run for Congress: It is probably not a good idea to give a speech at a birthday celebration for Hitler. It is also generally considered tacky to discuss segregation in a positive light. Also, posting anti-Semitic comments, links to David Duke's website, and other scary but interesting articles to your official campaign website is probably not a good idea, even if you actually seem to be a reasonably competent lawyer.

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:09:43 -0800

In another article I saw on this, the guy was quoted as saying, apparently in an attempt to make it seem like "I spoke to them because I'll speak to anyone": "I've spoken on an African-American radio station in Atlanta."

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:09:43 -0800

"The group was celebrating Adolf Hitler's birthday while Zirkle spoke of ridding society of prostitution, pornography and the trafficking of 'young, white women.'"

Ummm...like previous hypocrites (David Vitter, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Eliot Spitzer et al) something tells me this guy might have something to hide.

By: adamrice

adamrice — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:10:16 -0800

It is probably not a good idea to give a speech at a birthday celebration for Hitler I disagree. It's good to know exactly where a candidate for office stands on important issues (such as "is Naziism a good thing?"), and this is an excellent indicator. Also, before anyone else says it: I hate Indiana Nazis. And: Godwin.

By: Electrius

Electrius — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:12:15 -0800

I've been getting a flood of e-mails and phone calls, some of which include death threats, about my attempt to raise awareness of how the great porn dragon inspires Jews into pornography and prostitution and then, like the snake he is, turns the public against the Jews. Some have questioned whether there is any link to Jews and porn-prostitution.

By: mullingitover

mullingitover — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:12:33 -0800

It's also probably not a good idea to anoint Rev. Moon as "humanity's Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent."

By: turaho

turaho — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:13:31 -0800

It's good to know exactly where a candidate for office stands on important issues (such as "is Naziism a good thing?") Sadly, Zirkle doesn't even know where he stands on Nazis. From the article: When asked if he was a Nazi or sympathized with Nazis or white supremacists, Zirkle replied he didn't know enough about the group to either favor it or oppose it. Perfectly understandable, considering the Nazis were an obscure political party that never got any traction.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:15:07 -0800

"I've spoken on an African-American radio station in Atlanta."

"'I'll speak before any group that invites me,' Zirkle said Monday. 'I've spoken on an African-American radio station in Atlanta.' He compared his speech to other politicians appearing at Bob Jones University." ^*

By: PostIronyIsNotaMyth

PostIronyIsNotaMyth — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:15:29 -0800

I didn't know Count Chocola was a Congressman!!

By: mullingitover

mullingitover — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:16:13 -0800

ericb writes "He compared his speech to other politicians appearing at Bob Jones University" Hmm...well he's got a point.

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:17:01 -0800

At the event, Hitler's birthday was observed with a cake Anyone else giggling at this?

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:17:43 -0800

"Let's save our Jewish brothers and sisters from this tyrant king porn dragon before we get to another world-wide pogrom."

By: baphomet

baphomet — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:18:22 -0800

Yeah, if you don't know enough about Nazis or white supremacists to know that they're completely and utterly revolting, you don't belong in a political office. /agree with ericb...maybe it's just confirmation bias speaking but it seems like the people who use sexual morality as a political force tend to be the most hypocritical when it comes to the issue.

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:19:46 -0800

Nerds: That wasn't a Portal reference. I just like the absurdity of a bunch of Neo-Nazis standing around a little Betty Crocker cake, a few candles on top, saying insignificant things like, "Mm, Jim, good cake." Once in a while, one of them quietly looks up to the Hitler portrait on the wall, then goes back to the tiny birthday cake. With frosting.

By: quin

quin — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:20:06 -0800

my attempt to raise awareness of how the great porn dragon inspires Jews into pornography and prostitution and then, like the snake he is, turns the public against the Jews. *waves hands* Stop everything! Ok, now... what's this about a porn dragon?

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:25:27 -0800

After reading his campaign website I'm inclined to believe this is fake. Or possibly performance art. The nuance of mental density here is just too bizarre. "Is it possible that a nation's embracing of porn-prostitution is one of the root causes of modern-day terrorism?"

By: jquinby

jquinby — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:25:56 -0800

Even wackos can run for office. If we didn't have guys like this out there, we'd probably have to invent them just for the lulz.

By: joe lisboa

joe lisboa — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:26:40 -0800

At the event, Hitler's birthday was observed with a cake. "First they came for the ice cream, but I didn't speak up since I was lactose-intolerant..."

By: rtha

rtha — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:27:33 -0800

Tyrant King Porn Dragon would make a cool band name.

By: Paid In Full

Paid In Full — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:30:33 -0800

Is there an "uber-batshitinsane" tag?

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:31:31 -0800

Re: Cake You expected what, Rugalach?

By: languagehat

languagehat — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:33:53 -0800

I thought I was sick of campaign stories; thanks for restoring my interest in political news!

By: googly

googly — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:34:06 -0800

I'm considering discussing divorce aids and my plans for a "Derringer's for Dildos" policy to put guns in American women's hands instead of divorce aids. I may discuss the historical fact that before there were Nazi doctors, there were divorce aid doctors. If he hadn't already run for office several times in the past, I'd be inclined to agree with Ragma.

By: OverlappingElvis

OverlappingElvis — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:34:25 -0800

The Great Porn Jihad War Tax: Prolific Porn Mule Serial Woman-Womb Slaughterers I'm trying to wrap my head around this title, and I just can't do it.

By: brevator

brevator — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:35:45 -0800

Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:36:01 -0800

Attorney: ADMITTED TO PRACTICE BEFORE: United States Supreme Court

By: yeti

yeti — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:36:19 -0800

Porn dragon (NSFW!)

By: ornate insect

ornate insect — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:38:11 -0800

the photo in the first link is just priceless, like an Onion photo, and then there's this: When asked if he was a Nazi or sympathized with Nazis or white supremacists, Zirkle replied he didn't know enough about the group to either favor it or oppose it. Man if the guy would just bone up to being a Nazi it would be bad enough, but if he wants to be evasive and "distance" himself from the Nazis then maybe a photo-op beneath a portrait of Hitler and surrounded by skinheads with swastika armbands is not, um, exactly a good PR move.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:39:27 -0800

I have the advantage of having attended both law school and a theological seminary This word... I do not think it means what you think it means.

By: brevator

brevator — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:40:16 -0800

yeti wins.

By: tittergrrl

tittergrrl — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:41:04 -0800

I like how the cake had a photo of Hitler ON it. I wonder if people fought over who got the mustache.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:41:05 -0800

This guy graduated in the top 5% of his class from the Naval Academy. McCain is running for President and graduated 5 from the bottom. Also, look at his middle name. I think this guy might have lost his mind.

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:41:56 -0800

Without a rest, the porn dragon oppresses our society with constant work making bricks without straw, and a man's comfort from his toils is robbed by Chinese rabbits who can put even the most virile porn mule to shame in seconds.

Chinese rabbits?

By: VicNebulous

VicNebulous — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:43:14 -0800

Porn dragon (NSFW!) posted by yeti at 10:36 AM on April 25 [+] [!] ouch ...

By: freebird

freebird — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:48:46 -0800

" he didn't believe the event he attended included people necessarily of the Nazi mindset, pointing out the name isn't Nazi, but Nationalist Socialist Workers Party." Ha!

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:48:47 -0800

In 1999, the third runner-up in the Louisiana Governor's election was a black janitor who ran as Albert "Super Nigger" Jones.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:48:52 -0800

Okay. I read much more of his website. It turns out he's just a very ambitious Nazi. And a very disturbed individual. How the hell do we have Nazis running for office in the U.S.? And what the hell is this - "If history can not produce one mono-syllabic tax cut king to stick his fluking harpoon between the porn Tiamat's oeilles, then perhaps history will one day send a homeless vet to attempt a confoundation of those incognoscenti who think they're wise. I'm starting to feel very strongly that a lot of very bad events are going to happen to me in the very near future for writing this. They say that fools rush to where angels fear to tread. Would that the world could produce just one punk porn dragon slayer. I think I'm going to be serving chowder, ice tea and fish to tourists in t-shirts like that freecreditreport.com guy."

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:50:41 -0800

Probably he just put his name on thsoe thinsg without looking at them.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:52:17 -0800

the great porn dragon... Hi, is the Great Pumpkin there? Oh, hi. It's lekvar. Hey, I'm sorry, but I think this just isn't working out. I mean we've had fun, right, good times? But I have needs too... Yes. Yes there's someone else. I'm sorry it had to come out this way.

By: notreally

notreally — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:52:18 -0800

I must have dyslexia or something. I first read it as: Hillary's birthday observed with a cake.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:52:29 -0800

How the hell do we have Nazis running for office in the U.S.? The base is unhappy with McCain, which leaves a vacuum.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:53:11 -0800

I thought I was sick of campaign stories; thanks for restoring my interest in political news! The Nazi stuff was good enough, but the obsession with porn and dildos is really the icing on the cake. Add in the dragon and demon imagery, and this guy is a perfect storm of crazy.

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:54:40 -0800

Sweet Mother Macree, this guy is like one banana peel away from total Timecube.

By: ornate insect

ornate insect — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:55:25 -0800

How the hell do we have Nazis running ~~for office in~~ the U.S.?

By: KirkJobSluder

KirkJobSluder — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:01:32 -0800

Fluff the porno dragon Lived by the sea And frolicked in the San Fran mist With a man named Well-Hung Lee

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:02:57 -0800

Dear lord. He has a discusion forum. "My historical research has lead me to conclude that porn-prostitution is the most effective implemented weapon of mass destruction throughout history. This thread is available to debate this topic." Now I'm starting to think it's fake again. The whole thing is like one big troll.

By: Kadin2048

Kadin2048 — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:05:39 -0800

The copy on the guy's website reads like he paid the automatic-books guy on Amazon to set his machine to "batshit insane" and seeded it with Mein Kampf.

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:11:10 -0800

What's my middle name mean? Fake crazy or real crazy? I want to think fake, but I just can't tell.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:11:18 -0800

I can't stop reading....... This stuff is like popcorn. "We should focus on [...] effective ways to cut taxes by [...] ending porn-prostitution"

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:13:07 -0800

Ha dragon porn! Like two dragons making love and shooting flames, with their wings stretched taught as the fly through the air. That is stupid. I bet they don't even have anything like that on the internet. I bet they don't. They might though. You never know. Wouldn't it be a laugh to see that though? Dragon porn? That would be really funny to make fun of that. Like if we knew where some of that was. That would be hilarious. Do you think that there is some of that online? Cause I would totally like to laugh at that. Memail me.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:15:00 -0800

In previous news:

"Republican 2nd District congressional candidate Tony Zirkle has proposed a four-stage approach to stopping sex- related crimes such as child pornography, rape, sexual slavery and human trafficking. Stage 4 contemplates the reintroduction of the guillotine and lynch mob into the criminal justice process, although Zirkle said in an interview that he is taking that position 'to stimulate debate.'"

By: adamrice

adamrice — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:15:45 -0800

Sadly, Zirkle doesn't even know where he stands on Nazis turaho: I saw that part of the article. I think he's being coy. It's not working. Nazis don't do subtle very well.

By: djrock3k

djrock3k — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:16:08 -0800

Wait a second... ILLINOIS NAZIS ??? Like in the Blues Brothers???? Gruppenfuehrer: [to Head Nazi, as they plummet off the bridge] I've always loved you Game, Set, Match.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:17:06 -0800

The really sad thing is that if you read his position on the environment, the war on drugs, health care, or tax cuts for the rich, his half-crazy opinions sound less crazy than a lot of the Republicans in Congress. Still, if this guy doesn't have a stash of tranny fisting porn hidden in his garage, I'll eat my helmet.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:22:00 -0800

My, oh my.

"During this past week, my e-mail box and cell phone have been repeatedly spammed with threats calling me names including multiple ones using the phrase 'Nazi bastard' and have included multiple death threats. I'm still not sure what 'bastard' has to do with Nazi. ... Had the European community enforced laws against prostitution and pornography, Hitler would not have had one of his most powerful arguments, that Jews cartelled 97% of all international prostitution, and perhaps his following would have been less powerful. Without porn (a broad term that includes prostitution), WWII may have never happened. I'm getting my fair share of death threats. I would gladly give my life in a fraction of a heart beat if it would eliminate porn-prostitution from this nation (We had 100,000 Web sites linked to child porn by 2001 after the Customs Department engaged in Operation Blue Orchid); however, I'm quite sure the porn dragon is far too powerful for me to make any real difference other than the temporary attention I can draw to it from my protest campaign. ... People can lie about my motives, jump to wild conclusions, and slander me all they want; however, my position against the great porn dragon is correct and will be defended to the death. I suspect though, that the porn dragon is far to smart to execute me at this time. If he did, there is a small chance that the public would connect my assassination to my stand against the porn dragon cults and that the public might actually wake up and realize this national security threat. No, more likely, the porn dragon will attack my loved ones, my friends, my job, my law license, my finances and my reputation in the community. Many of those attacks have already started. The porn dragon will likely also start sending multiple women, or at least rumors of them, my way to create scandals that will be leaked to the press so that he can discredit me for being a hypocrite just like Governor Spitzer and many other strong men who fell."

Methinks he protests too much!

By: symbioid

symbioid — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:22:04 -0800

That's Uther Porndragon to you.

By: amyms

amyms — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:23:57 -0800

Like two dragons making love and shooting flames, with their wings stretched taught as the fly through the air. That's not the dragon porn, that's the dragon romance novel.

By: Neale

Neale — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:26:52 -0800

From his site: The Great Porn Jihad War Tax: Prolific Porn Mule Serial Woman-Womb Slaughterers The Nazis murdered on a previously unprecedented scale; however, the efficiency of the porn industry's womanslaughtering is rapidly becoming its rival. Apart from the title sounding like a bad '80s horror thriller, he appears here to know who the Nazis were.

By: ornate insect

ornate insect — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:28:54 -0800

Tony Zirkle Will Slay the Porn Dragon

By: Shepherd

Shepherd — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:33:11 -0800

The best ever porn dragon?

By: the dief

the dief — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:35:00 -0800

Oh wow, he's from Indiana, let me go put on my surprised face. (I'm from Indiana, dammit. I know from whence I speak.)

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:35:26 -0800

"Sweet Mother Macree, this guy is like one banana peel away from total Timecube." Yeah, as I read his site, I thought, "Well, he's got Gene Ray's vote."

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:37:34 -0800

Without a rest, the porn dragon oppresses our society with constant work making bricks without straw, and a man's comfort from his toils is robbed by Chinese rabbits who can put even the most virile porn mule to shame in seconds. Um -- mules are sterile.

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:38:39 -0800

> I just like the absurdity of a bunch of Neo-Nazis standing around a little Betty Crocker cake, a few candles on top, saying insignificant things like, "Mm, Jim, good cake." Once in a while, one of them quietly looks up to the Hitler portrait on the wall, then goes back to the tiny birthday cake. With frosting. That's a scene from the documentary Blood in the Face.

By: Ironmouth

Ironmouth — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:39:00 -0800

He also told WIMS radio in Michigan City that he didn't believe the event he attended included people necessarily of the Nazi mindset, pointing out the name isn't Nazi, but Nationalist Socialist Workers Party. Hmmm . . . what does Nazi mean anyway? Could it be it's an acronym for National Socialist Workers Party?

By: marxchivist

marxchivist — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:42:00 -0800

He also told WIMS radio in Michigan City that he didn't believe the event he attended included people necessarily of the Nazi mindset I guess the huge portrait of Hitler on the wall and the swastika flags were just there for decoration.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:42:49 -0800

Why does he have a picture of the Supreme Court on his site's banner, if he's running for Congress?

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:43:33 -0800

Damn, but don't we grow 'em batshit-crazy here in Indiana?

By: EarBucket

EarBucket — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:43:49 -0800

How the hell do we have Nazis running for office in the U.S.? That's the crazy thing about democracies. Even the people you disagree with get to put their name on the ballot. Also, I can't help picturing him as this guy.

By: never used baby shoes

never used baby shoes — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:46:53 -0800

This post needs the "porndragon" tag. I may also be opening up a sock puppet account soon.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:50:08 -0800

Hey........ What the hell is going on here? These are all his websites. This looks suspicious to me. Could this whole thing just be about Google rank or something? ww.tonyzirklelaw.com www.indianapolis-criminal-family-injury-lawyers-attorney-tonyzirkle.com www.tonyzirklecriminal.com www.tonyzirklecriminallaw.com www.lawofficesoftonyzirkle.com www.indianapoliscriminaldefense.com www.indianacriminaldefenselawyertonyzirkle.com www.indianadivorcecustodyfamilylawyertonyzirkle.com www.divorce-indiana.com www.tonyzirklefamily.com www.tonyzirklelawfirm.com www.tonyzirklefamilylaw.com www.indianapersonalinjuryaccidentwrongfuldeathattorneytonyzirkle.com www.tonyzirklepi.com www.tonyzirklepersonalinjurylaw.com www.indianapersonalinjurylawyertonyzirkle.com www.indianapersonalinjurylawyertonyzirkleblog.com trafficticketattorneylawyerindianapolisouthbendcrownpointzirkle.com indianaattorneyslawyersindianapolissouthbendcrownpointonyzirkle.com divorceattorneyslawyersindianapolissouthbendcrownpointonyzirkle.com criminalattorneyslawyersindianapolisouthbendcrownpointonyzirkle.com personalinjuryaccidentattorneyslawyersindianapolisouthbendcrown.com duidrunkattorneyslawyersindianapolisouthbendcrownpointonyzirkle.com carautoaccidentsattorneyslawyersindianapolissouthbendcrownpoint.com www.lawyer-referrals.com www.attorney-indiana.com www.attorneysindiana.com www.attorneys-indiana.com www.indianapolistraffic.com www.indianapolisdivorce.com www.indianadivorceattorney.com www.indianadivorceattorneys.com www.indianapolisdivorceattorney.com indianalawyer.wordpress.com www.the-great-poorn-jihad-war-tax-blog.com www.indianacriminaldefenselawyertonyzirkleblog.com www.indianadivorcecustodyfamilylawyertonyzirkleblog.com www.tonyzirkle.com www.tonyzirkleindianaduiowilawyer.com www.tonyzirkleindianacriminaldefenselawyer.com www.tonyzirkleindianacriminaldefenselawyer.com www.indiana-federal-criminal-defense-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com www.indiana-traffic-ticket-drunk-driving-dui-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com www.indianacriminaldefenseattorneytonyzirkleduisexdrugssouthbend.com www.indianacriminaldefenseattorneytonyzirkleduisexdrugssouthbend.com www.indianacriminaldefenseattorneytonyzirkleduisexdrugscrownpoint.com www.indianacriminaldefenseattorneytonyzirkleduisexdrugscrownpoint.com www.indianacriminaldefenseattorneytonyzirkleduisexdrugsindianapolis.com www.indianacriminaldefenseattorneytonyzirkleduisexdrugsftfortwayne.com www.indianacriminaldefenselawyertonyzirklesouthbendnorthern.com www.indianacriminaldefenselawyertonyzirkleindianapoliscentral.com www.indianacriminaldefenselawyertonyzirklecrownpointnorthwest.com www.indianacriminaldefenselawyertonyzirkleftfortwaynenortheastern.com www.tonyzirkleindianadivorcecustodylawyer.com www.indianachildsupportadoptionlawyertonyzirklesouthbendnorthern.com www.indianachildsupportadoptionlawyertonyzirkleindianapoliscentral.com www.indianachildsupportadoptionlawyertonyzirklefortwaynenortheast.com www.indianachildsupportadoptionlawyertonyzirklecrownpointnorthwest.com www.indianadivorcecustodyfamilylawyertonyzirklesouthbendnorthern.com www.indianadivorcecustodyfamilylawyertonyzirkleindianapoliscentral.com www.indianadivorcecustodyfamilylawyertonyzirklecrownpointnorthwest.com www.indianadivorcecustodyfamilylawyertonyzirkleftfortwaynenortheast.com www.indianapolisbirthinjurylaw.com www.indianapoliswrongfuldeathlawyer.com www.tonyzirkleindianawrongfuldeathlawyer.com www.indiana-dog-canine-bites-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com www.tonyzirkleindiananursinghomeinjurylawyer.com www.tonyzirkleindianamedicalmalpracticelawyer.com www.tonyzirkleindianaautomobileaccidentlawyer.com www.tonyzirkleindianamotorcycleaccidentlawyer.com www.indiana-brain-injury-accident-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com www.indiana-slip-fall-premises-liability-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com www.indiana-spinal-cord-accident-injury-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com www.indiana-drug-products-liability-defects-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com www.indianaauto-truck-cycleaccidentinjurylawyertonyzirklenorthwest.com www.indianaauto-truck-cycleaccidentinjurylawyertonyzirklesouthbend.com www.indianaauto-truck-cycleaccidentinjurylawyertonyzirklefortwayne.com www.indianaautotruckcycleaccidentinjurylawyertonyzirkleindianapolis.com www.indianapersonalinjurywrongfuldeathlawyertonyzirklenorthwest.com www.indianapersonalinjurywrongfuldeathlawyertonyzirklesouthbend.com www.indianapersonalinjurywrongfuldeathlawyertonyzirkleindianapolis.com www.indianapersonalinjurywrongfuldeathlawyertonyzirkleftfortwayne.com www.zirkleforcongress.com www.zirkleforpresident.com www.zirkleforgovernor.com www.tonyzirkle.com/CAMPAIGN

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:51:14 -0800

www.indiana-dog-canine-bites-lawyer-tonyzirkle.com? WTF?

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:52:40 -0800

Great. Now I'm humming ... Porn ... the magic dragon ...

By: never used baby shoes

never used baby shoes — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:53:11 -0800

All that, but not www.porndragonslayer.com?

By: KirkJobSluder

KirkJobSluder — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:55:03 -0800

Well, thankfully there are two other Republicans on the ballot for the May 6 primary. If I remember right, this was one of the swing seats in the 2006 upset.

By: Tyrant King Porn Dragon

Tyrant King Porn Dragon — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:55:53 -0800

OBEY

By: aramaic

aramaic — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:57:17 -0800

Between this "divorce aid" nutball and the Koror thing, we've got some serious penis issues going on today. ...and not in the good way.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:59:10 -0800

From http://www.the-great-poorn-jihad-war-tax-blog.com/ - "In this blog, I will outline a few of the arguments in support of a poorn tax cut. Poorn is spelled with two "o"s in order to emphasize that fact that few factors promote poverty more efficiently than having an undisciplined intimate life. Poorn derives from the Greek and is translated proostitution or foornication. The word encompasses a wide spectrum of abberant, deviant behavior." This website is associated with his law office. And there's a PayPal link. This is getting weirder.

By: KirkJobSluder

KirkJobSluder — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:04:09 -0800

Just because I was curious, but if I'm reading this right, (pdf) it seems like all you need to do in order to get onto the primary ballot is be eligible for the office, and fill out a form.

By: GhostintheMachine

GhostintheMachine — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:04:16 -0800

OK, I haven't clicked on the links, but I just gotta know... Are you guys just making this shit up? Because this thread really reads like random words flung together in some sort of... hell, I don't even know what it's something to be compared to.

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:05:27 -0800

Best of the web, no question. TGIF.

By: Elsa

Elsa — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:07:13 -0800

Hmmm . . . what does Nazi mean anyway? Could it be it's an acronym for National Socialist Workers Party? A nickname, not an acronym, but yes, Ironmouth: Hitler renamed the German Workers' Party as the Nationalist Socialist German Workers' Party (Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, if I'm spelling that right). Also:

Zirkle said the group asked him to speak to discuss the effect of pornography and prostitution on young, white women and girls. ... "(The National Socialist Workers Party) was interested in the targeting of white people for prostitution." ... "That's the risk you have to take to get your point across," Zirkle said. "If the Black Panthers or the Jewish Zionists want me to speak about these issues, I'll do it."

Of course. When the Black Panthers hold a conference on the effect of pornography and prostitution on young white women and girls, Zirkle will gladly speak to them. Quite an offer.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:08:08 -0800

Ok, now... what's this about a porn dragon? It's the damn furries, is what it is.

By: Elsa

Elsa — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:08:50 -0800

Incidentally, cerebus19, I got halfway down this page before I scrolled up to check for the batshitinsane tag. Well done.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:09:02 -0800

Tyrant King Porn Dragon would make a cool band name. I think Tyrannopornus Rex would be even better.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:11:54 -0800

Tyrannopornus Rex Tyrannosaurus Sex?

By: ornate insect

ornate insect — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:14:22 -0800

Recently neonazi radio host Hal Turner was accused of being on the FBI payroll: is it possible this Zirkle dude is a kind of Nazi-trap to make it easier for the Feds to keep tabs on the far right? Either that, or he's just a really dumb Nazi.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:14:50 -0800

He seems to be an actual candidate. He's described there as "Tony Zirkle (R) - Attorney, Navy Veteran & Frequent Candidate"

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:15:53 -0800

Just because I was curious, but if I'm reading this right, (pdf) it seems like all you need to do in order to get onto the primary ballot is be eligible for the office, and fill out a form. posted by KirkJobSluder at 3:04 PM on April 25 [+] [!] I see from your profile that you are from Indiana. If you register and run as the pro-porn dragon candidate and show up at five or more of his events with posters of dragons in revealing outfits and buttons that say "A vote for KirkJobSluder is a vote for porn dragons" then I pledge to donate the maximum amount allowed under law to your campaign, or $50, whichever is less. $100 if you get more votes than him.

By: EarBucket

EarBucket — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:17:57 -0800

He has a plank in his platform called "Derringer's for Dildos" (sic) that will, and I quote: "put guns in American women's hands instead of divorce aids."

By: Marie Mon Dieu

Marie Mon Dieu — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:20:06 -0800

Am I the only one here who's already seen the porn dragon tatoo, like 3 years ago? (someone sent it to me via email, I don't go hunting porn dragons, no, really, I don't!) Also, this guy is crazier than a shithouse rat. What are they dumping into the water over there in Indiana?

By: KirkJobSluder

KirkJobSluder — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:26:28 -0800

I was from Indiana. I relocated last month to a dragon-safe bunker in an undisclosed location. And that district is the region and the Michigan border. Not at all my neighborhood which has the perpetual mudfest between Hill and Sodrel. At any rate, the filing deadline is past, and I think he's going to get kicked out of the pool come May 6 anyway. His chances of getting on as an independent are even worse under Indiana regs.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:29:11 -0800

"He seems to be an actual candidate." Hardly. He isn't running for office as much as he's just pontificating. Given the ease of legally becoming an "actual candidate", I to think this is a symptom rather than a calling. I suspect he may be suffering from some sort of clinical mania. I'm just a programmer so what do I know. But it's possible that creating over 80 websites and running a law practice just isn't enough to keep him busy.

By: lathrop

lathrop — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:29:24 -0800

I live in his district. I'm thinking of taking a Republican primary ballot and voting for him. For, you know, shits and giggles.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:31:14 -0800

Now this is some quality crazy. Also, Punk Porn Dragon Slayer is clearly the superior band name.

By: KirkJobSluder

KirkJobSluder — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:31:39 -0800

Also, this guy is crazier than a shithouse rat. What are they dumping into the water over there in Indiana? Dead mobsters from Chicago.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:31:54 -0800

I see your lips moving KirkJobSluder, but all I can hear is the porn dragon crying tears of disappointment that you will not stand up for him. Sexy sexy tears.

By: dersins

dersins — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:31:56 -0800

But... but... what the... This has to be fake, right?

By: mygothlaundry

mygothlaundry — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:39:58 -0800

he's just a really dumb Nazi. Either that, or they're really dumb to have invited him in the first place, because he's pretty clearly deeply sunk into the batshit. Where bat shit meets shit house rat crazy, yes. Now, given that Nazis and contemporary midwestern Nazis at that are probably not noted for either sanity or collective IQ, can you imagine the conversation at that party? Zirkle: Harness the porn dragon! Nazis: Look, the furniture's melting again. Alert the Knights Templar! Zirkle: Chinese mule divorce aid . . . Nazis: Cake is nice. Really, I bet it was a great party.

By: jtron

jtron — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:40:42 -0800

What's his middle name mean? It's "Hvfvgpd," which is an acronym. Based on the clues he gives, so far I have "Homeless veteran (something) versus Great Porn Dragon." But what's that "f" stand for? Also, while reading the list of his websites, the back of my mind kept yelling out "Dilute! Dilute!"

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:41:07 -0800

Is there an "uber-batshitinsane" tag? Ueberfledermausescheisseverrueckt just doesn't have that same ring.

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:47:45 -0800

Dammit, where's that link to the Adolf Hitler action figure...? Ah, here it is. Don't mention the war.

By: aramaic

aramaic — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:47:45 -0800

You know, it's occurred to me that guns are typically much more expensive than dildos. So if he ever does that exchange thing, it'll probably be a pretty good way to make some spare cash at his expense. 1) Buy dildo 2) Exchange for gun 3) Sell gun to dealer 4) Profit!

By: grubi

grubi — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:53:50 -0800

Based on the clues he gives, so far I have "Homeless veteran I think the HV are short for HIV, which he said some asshat claims "doesn't exist" (a very asshat thing to do) and the fact the he left out vowels as a "protest".

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:58:11 -0800

But what's that "f" stand for? fluke

By: dersins

dersins — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:02:37 -0800

Aramaic, you left out some steps: 1) Buy dildo 2) Exchange for gun 3) Sell gun to dealer 4) Profit! 5) Use profits to buy a case of dildos. 6) Exchange for case of guns. 7) Sell guns to dealer. 8) Profit even more 9) And so on. Eventually you'd have enough guns to equip an army. Or enough dildos to satisfy an army of great porn dragons.

By: ornate insect

ornate insect — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:03:48 -0800

mygothlaundry--there's definitely a market for intelligence into hate groups, and the FBI has been known to infiltrate these groups for the purpose of keeping tabs on them. Given that a major prison riot on Hitler's birthday just occurred in Colarado that appears to have been instigated by neonazi prisoners, and resulted in both two murders and a lockdown, the Feds still watch these groups closely (one hopes).

By: Neiltupper

Neiltupper — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:15:13 -0800

The Great Porn Dragon

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:23:58 -0800

Would you like to come to the Furher's birthday? The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked; and then there will be cake. still alive

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:33:33 -0800

He's like Ben Stein's long-lost, more ridiculously evil twin. But funny.

By: anazgnos

anazgnos — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:46:28 -0800

Tony Hvfvgpd Zirkle: What's my 2nd middle name mean? That's a mystery, wrapped in an enigma and couched in a riddle. Whoever gets it first and e-mails me the answer gets to shred the first Penthouse ever published... January 2008 clue: The 2nd v stands for "versus." Oooh..ooh...let me guess...the "pd" stands for Porn Dragon!

By: anazgnos

anazgnos — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:48:37 -0800

dang, shoulda previewed...

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:57:46 -0800

Ok, now... what's this about a porn dragon? Arthur Porndragon pulled the sword from the stone and went on to lead the Knights of the Round Table. Any watcher of Disney movies could have told you that.

By: yeti

yeti — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:59:43 -0800

mefi's porn balrog.

By: spock

spock — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:15:05 -0800

This smells like a major league "Borat" type of scam. The people who take it seriously become part of the joke. When I noticed the same thing that MrMoonPie commented on, I realized that this is more commentary on how gullible and stupid the American Public is regarding things political. I'm guessing this guy is covered by a film crew 24/7?

By: MiltonRandKalman

MiltonRandKalman — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:26:21 -0800

The hippies gave us Generation X. Gen X, thanks to Clinton, skipped right over XX and spawned Generation XXX. The jihadist will never tolerate what Gen. XXX will sire. That should keep the snarky bloggers in business. I'm not sure we're going to have time to get to that one, we have a lot of work ahead, but thanks for flagging it for us. Maybe Sunday?

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:08:05 -0800

The jihadist will never tolerate what Gen. XXX will sire. So fuck 'em.

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:12:34 -0800

Without a rest, the porn dragon oppresses our society with constant work making bricks without straw, and a man's comfort from his toils is robbed by Chinese rabbits who can put even the most virile porn mule to shame in seconds.
Um -- mules are sterile.

Yes, but these are no ordinary mules. These are porn mules.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:31:55 -0800

XXX That movie SUCKED. James Bond with X-treme sports my ass!

By: binturong

binturong — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:34:36 -0800

Dragon porn is real! By strange coincidence, Dan Savage has a letter on the topic this week. Maybe it's from Zirkle.

By: dersins

dersins — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:03:55 -0800

XXX That movie SUCKED. If you just think of it as a remake of Gymkata (only with more Asia Argento) it's not so bad.

By: msalt

msalt — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:58:19 -0800

Still, if this guy doesn't have a stash of tranny fisting porn hidden in his garage, I'll eat my helmet. Possible clue -- asked on his discussion page what kind of porn is the most damaging, he replied:

I'd have to say child porn. After the Clinton Administration fired all the federal obscenity prosecutors while the Internet took off,
the market for a child's flesh skyrocketed. While women turned to dildos, lonely men turned to children.

By: fourcheesemac

fourcheesemac — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:45:28 -0800

At the event, Hitler's birthday was observed with a cake with a photo of Hitler and the words "Seig Heil." Fire that cake decorator! Fucking morons -- good Nazis can at least spell "sieg!"

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 05:03:39 -0800

Doesn't your computer have dragon-drop capability? Well, then.

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 11:55:23 -0800

Way to kill a thread, Kirth.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:49:23 -0800

It was time.

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 07 May 2008 08:57:39 -0800

Zirkle 'soundly defeated' in Indiana GOP primary: Just Can't Shake That Nazi Party Hangover.