He was born as Karl Tänzler or Georg Karl Tänzler on February 8, 1877 in Dresden, Germany
Carl Tanzler or sometimes Carl von Cosel (February 8, 1877 – July 23, 1952) was a German-born radiologist at the United States Marine Hospital in Key West, Florida
The joke writes itself. posted by docpops at 1:59 PM on April 30, 2008
By the way, for those who haven't read the articles yet:
THE STORY GETS WEIRDER AFTER THE CORPSE-FUCKING posted by Dr-Baa at 2:03 PM on April 30, 2008 [4 favorites]
Thanks for ruining lunch. posted by phaedon at 2:05 PM on April 30, 2008
Brings new meaning to the term "waxing that ass." posted by Pollomacho at 2:06 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
I never got along with the girls at my school
Filling me up with all their morals and their rules
They’d pile all their problems on my head
I’d rather go out and fuck the dead
‘Cause I can do what I want and they won’t complain
I wanna fuck I wanna fuck the dead
Middle of the night so silently
I creep on over to the mortuary
Lift up the casket and fiddle with the dead
Their cold blue flesh makes me turn red
‘Cause I can do what I want and they won’t complain
I wanna fuck I wanna fuck the dead
And I don’t even care how she died...
But I like it better if she smells of formaldehyde!
Never on the rag or say leave me alone
They don’t scream and they don’t moan
Don’t even cry if I shoot in their hair
Lying on the table she smiles and she stares posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:13 PM on April 30, 2008 [2 favorites]
My high school English teacher told me this one in the cafeteria once:
There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
You must admit
She smeeled like shit
But think of the money he saved! posted by Pollomacho at 2:15 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
What I'm wondering - If you have sex with a dead corpse for 8 years, do you have to "drain" it every few months? posted by Ragma at 2:18 PM on April 30, 2008
When they talk about the "final nail in the coffin" I don't think this is what they meant. posted by maxwelton at 2:18 PM on April 30, 2008 [4 favorites]
What I'm wondering - If you have sex with a dead corpse for 8 years, do you have to "drain" it every few months?
See, that's where one of those Kraftmatic adjustable beds comes in handy. With the paper tube he was already using? Instant rain gutter. posted by katillathehun at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2008
Great. So much for dinner. posted by Kadin2048 at 2:23 PM on April 30, 2008
In October, 1940, Elena's sister Florinda heard rumors of Tanzler sleeping with the disinterred body of her sister,
think about that for a moment posted by jmccw at 2:25 PM on April 30, 2008
I'm hoping the Coen brothers have the film rights. posted by tula at 2:26 PM on April 30, 2008
Sort of like a Weekend at Bernie's for the Art House crowd. posted by Joey Michaels at 2:27 PM on April 30, 2008 [3 favorites]
If someone has prior consent from the deceased, is necrophilia acceptable? Also, even just sleeping in the same bed as a dead person is creepy but it's not clear that he committed necrophilia from historical record and he wasn't charged with it. Carl must have been a very lonely, pathetic and sad little man who was driven beyond conventional sanity, though found mentally competent, by grief, love or maybe lust. posted by christhelongtimelurker at 2:29 PM on April 30, 2008
Sure, when this guy does it it's perverted, but when the corpse is Evita...
The body was removed from display, and given into the care of Dr. Pedro Ara, a Spanish pathologist who had made a study of the preservation of bodies. For two years he worked on the preservation of her corpse. Her organs were left intact, and she was soaked in a mixture of acetate and nitrate. Over time, all the fluid in her body was replaced with wax, injected into the corpse. A thin film of wax was laid over the body. Ara was obsessive - a perfectionist, and considered Eva's preservation to be his finest work. He succeeded in his goal magnificently - her body was impervious to decay, amazingly lifelike, and this despite the delay between her death and the beginning of the preserving process. At some stage, two or three wax copies of the body were made - helping to create further confusion in the events that followed. The body was given into the care of Colonel Moori Koenig of the Intelligence service, and moved from hiding place to hiding place in the attempt to keep it from becoming a symbol of the old regime.
In his confession he stated that he had planned to use the airship to take the both of them "high into the stratosphere, so that radiation from outer space could penetrate elena's tissues and restore life to her somnolent form."
Wow! finally a sentence crazier than the one about the vaginal tube! I thought I'd never get past that... posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:34 PM on April 30, 2008
If this had gone undiscovered, my mind (reluctantly) says no-one was really harmed and I can't come down with a judgment of it being "immoral" in any sense I understand that word. It's the fact that other people who had cared about her would find out and have their memories of her so catastrophically violated, that's what's unconscionable to me.
If someone has prior consent from the deceased, is necrophilia acceptable?
I think that's a pretty interesting question, or at least I find it interesting, the broader question of how much say and what rights a person has about the future and long-term treatment of their corpse. posted by Wolfdog at 2:39 PM on April 30, 2008
Wait, what joke about necrophilia relates to Florida? posted by DU at 2:42 PM on April 30, 2008
"It has been recounted that Tanzler was found in the arms of the Hoyos effigy upon discovery of his corpse, but his obituary reported that he died on the floor behind one of his organs."
...Tanzler... wrote an autobiography that appeared in the pulp publication, Fantastic Adventures, in 1947.
Fascinating that his story (the wiki article says people were sympathetic with him, and saw him simply as an eccentric romantic) was kept alive (pun intended) in the popular imagination through dimestore pulp. Nowadays the story would be, for better or worse, injected with all sorts of moralizing psychobabble and hand wringing. posted by ornate insect at 3:46 PM on April 30, 2008
Wax on, whack off... posted by dazed_one at 3:53 PM on April 30, 2008
If someone has prior consent from the deceased, is necrophilia acceptable?
Yes, I think so. Which is why I carry a NecroCard. It's very much like an organ donor card, but specifies which sexual acts I consent to after my death (I checked the 'all' box, but you can express a preference for gay-only, straight-only, or insist that your corpse not be dismembered during any necrophile acts). It's underneath my organ donor card in my wallet, so I hope it at least gives some sleep-deprived A&E doctor a chuckle in the event of my untimely death.
I'm so jaded that the thing that struck me as oddest was the doctor's names: DePoo and Foraker. I really need to sit on a desert island for a month or so. posted by joaquim at 3:56 PM on April 30, 2008
some sleep-deprived A&E doctor
Arts & Entertainment? You're giving your body to the Pew Charitable Trust? posted by ornate insect at 3:56 PM on April 30, 2008
Thanks for this, katilla! I thought of posting about this story a few times, but I didn't want to give the impression I was creepily obsessed with it, because I am.
Danny Elfman apparently wrote a script about it, although I doubt it would ever get made. Some filmmakers in Key West are doing a project; I don't have any links handy, but it looked like it would be good if they could get the money. Sleep Station did a lovely EP on the subject. I wouldn't so much recommend the songs by Todd Zombie or And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead, who were also thus inspired. posted by Countess Elena at 4:05 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
Accident & Emergency. Much more reassuring name than your hesitant ER. (Though, post mortem, I wouldn't really mind much if the attending doctor was only trained in Arts & Entertainment. Perhaps he could sing a song to cheer up my friends and relatives.) posted by jack_mo at 4:06 PM on April 30, 2008
Wolfdogwrites"I think that's a pretty interesting question, or at least I find it interesting, the broader question of how much say and what rights a person has about the future and long-term treatment of their corpse."
Can you put on your organ donor card: Yes (no sex pls) posted by krinklyfig at 4:06 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
Dammit jack_mo ... posted by krinklyfig at 4:06 PM on April 30, 2008
What? but more importantly: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. posted by melixxa600 at 5:38 PM on April 30, 2008
From Countess Elena's profile link but not mentioned on wikipedia: "Von Cosel stole Elena from the crypt and took her to his airship (which he had christened 'Countess Elaine' - one day, he planned to fly with Elena to the stars)."
From the newspaper cuttings: "The strange craft bore two large wooden wheels, something like six feet in diameter; and the entire construction was of wood put together in small strips and nailed to the struts and ribs. It was labeled in the photo album as "Elena's air ship to Heaven." and pictures showed the girl's body within the craft." posted by tellurian at 6:00 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
"many people sympathized with von cosel after hearing his story and a latin love song was even composed based on the subject."
In October, 1940, Elena's sister Florinda...confronted Tanzler at his home...
awk-waaaard!
"Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon..." posted by PlusDistance at 6:47 PM on April 30, 2008
Wow, tellurian, thanks. What a beautiful tune, and a fantastic singer. Found the lyrics, but alas, I don't speak Spanish. Wonder if there's a translation out there... posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:58 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
agreed tellurian, it's lovely. posted by sleep_walker at 7:01 PM on April 30, 2008
Here's an auto translation of the Boda Negra lyrics from Babel Fish...
"It hears the history that contome a day the old enterrador of the region was a lover who luckily impía its affluent candy him fit the sparing one All the nights it was going to the cemetery to visistar the tomb of its beautiful people murmured with mystery is a saved dead of the grave In a horrible night the marble made pieces of the left tomb dug the Earth and the rigido skeleton of loved his took in its arms And back in sad habitacón shady of a funeral wax candle to the uncertain flame it seated to his side the cold bones and celebrated his weddings with the dead Yerto tied with tapes the naked bones skull crowned of flowers the horrible mouth covered it with kisses and it told him smiling his loves"
And hey, talk about some lovely music being inspired by some horrific circumstance! posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:18 PM on April 30, 2008
Why do I read MeFi while I'm eating? First the regenerative finger, now this... posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:27 PM on April 30, 2008
WHAT
THE
FUCK
CARL? posted by chinston at 8:50 PM on April 30, 2008
Blasted euro key on the stupid lpatop keybraod! From hell's heart, I stab at thee! posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:33 PM on April 30, 2008
Well, now I know i'm going with cremation. posted by Derek at 1:16 AM on May 1, 2008
From hell's heart, I stab at thee!
I remember the Commodore 64 had a British Pound (£) key. And not one where you have to press SHIFT or ALT or CTRL or any of that nonsense. A dedicated Pound (£) key. How often are we Americans going to use that key?
And there is an Audio Book version of the story "recounts with realism through the reading of Jack Pedersen the confessions of "Count" Carl von Cosel." posted by mfoight at 5:59 AM on May 1, 2008
CARL: "Where are your How-To books?"
BOOKSTORE CLERK: "Are you looking for something in particular?"
CARL: "Anything by Edgar Allan Poe." posted by steef at 6:35 AM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]
In his confession he stated that he had planned to use the airship to take the both of them "high into the stratosphere, so that radiation from outer space could penetrate elena's tissues and restore life to her somnolent form."
Scientologist? posted by inigo2 at 10:24 AM on May 1, 2008
There's only five of them because if none of them work, you're seriously doing it wrong. posted by Dr-Baa at 1:18 PM on May 1, 2008
I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.
The night you died I cut it off,
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.
I'm sorry now I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.
"You know, of all the songs I have ever sung, that is the one I've had the most requests not to." -- Tom Lehrer posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:36 PM on May 1, 2008
It's a small thing buts it's been niggling me. The post says 'held together by wax and chicken wire', but it was piano wire. You may have written chicken wire because you were imagining Tanzler moulding it into something approximating a body shape. I know I did. There, it's off my chest now. posted by tellurian at 10:22 PM on May 1, 2008
You may have written chicken wire because you were imagining Tanzler moulding it into something approximating a body shape.
Nah. I wrote chicken wire because that's what I read on at least one of the many other articles I found about this but chose not to include, and it stuck with me enough that I forgot to edit it for that particular link. I'll be darned if I can find it now, though. posted by katillathehun at 10:35 PM on May 1, 2008
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posted by mullingitover at 1:50 PM on April 30, 2008