Livin' Like the Amish

May 2, 2008 12:34 PM

And THEN the ewoks fucking jam out. [SLYT]
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] (63 comments total)

I was disappointed by the lack of singing Ewoks in this video.
posted by obvious at 12:39 PM on May 2 [2 favorites]

Thumbs down for Weird Al's protege.
posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 12:40 PM on May 2

Not very good, eh?
posted by gcbv at 12:41 PM on May 2

Okay, I was wrong with my previous post: THIS should be required viewing for anybody who honestly wants to know what went wrong.
posted by wendell at 12:41 PM on May 2 [6 favorites]

Who shat in your Friday, haters? This was great!
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:45 PM on May 2

Horrible song. I thought I'd at least get to see an ewok playing an electric guitar.
posted by hjo3 at 12:45 PM on May 2

How could you possibly hate after billy dee himself came on to preach the ewok gospel?!
posted by flaterik at 12:46 PM on May 2

Wow, that was bad - and not funny. Did they spend more than 5 minutes writing that song?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:47 PM on May 2

Best use of a gospel choir since Hulk Hogan's "Hulkster in Heaven." And dude probably grass-stained a perfectly good pair of white pants filming that meadow scene. I have to give props.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:47 PM on May 2

Billy Dee Billy Dee.
posted by dobie at 12:47 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

This post underlines the fact that "the next mefi superjoke" never did come to pass.

And this post will probably get deleted for suckery.
posted by dgaicun at 12:48 PM on May 2

I was about to close the window when Billy Dee came on. Nice.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 12:49 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

Yea, it was basically "meh" until Billy Dee showed up and then it got kind "heh" and moved all the way up to "lol".
posted by GuyZero at 12:52 PM on May 2

I much prefer "Ooh, Girl" An Honest R&B Song and the One Semester of Spanish Love Song by the same team, runawaybox.
posted by bobobox at 12:53 PM on May 2 [5 favorites]

Billy Dee Williams should eat more salsa.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:00 PM on May 2

SOMEBODY FORGOT ABOUT CHEWIE
posted by boo_radley at 1:01 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

and bobobox saves the thread......
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:02 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

fail
posted by zeoslap at 1:09 PM on May 2

This is what happens when parents don't instill a proper sense of shame in their kids. There should be PSAs about this. "Have you shamed your child today?"

Also, it should have modulated up after Billy Dee's bit.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:11 PM on May 2

A friend of mine took the time to rewrite the end of Return of the Jedi to be a more realistic depiction of what the combat would be like on that forest moon. I remember that there was a really cool scene with a heavy turbo-laser turret taking out an AT-AT that I thought was very well put together.

I also recall that there was a line that went something like:

There is a wave of blood which washes through the trees, it carries with it thousands of small furry bodies; the grisly result of the Ewoks failure to understand what huge walking vehicles are capable of.

To this day, I believe that his would have been a superior conclusion to the film.
posted by quin at 1:14 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

I hate the Ewoks.

Firstly because there is no system of natural selection in the universe that would produce such totally helpless and incompetent creatures.

Secondly, we are to suspend our disbelief so much as to convince ourselves "Sure. Three feet tall. They can barely climb or walk. And. They can kick ass with rocks and sticks... AGAINST FUCKING LASER TANKS."

Thirdly. It was distracting to constantly try to ignore the bright red Mattel sticker on their fat fake-fur asses.
posted by tkchrist at 1:28 PM on May 2

That video was pure gold. Anyone who says otherwise is a hater.
posted by tkolar at 1:36 PM on May 2

I though the Ewoks were all extinct.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:37 PM on May 2

I dunno, if ewoks are so harmless, why am I so fucking scared?
posted by dgaicun at 1:38 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

Billy Dee saves the day. Again.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:52 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

Beyond awful.
posted by JaredSeth at 1:54 PM on May 2

And THEN the ewoks fucking jam out.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 1:54 PM on May 2 [7 favorites]

Allay loo ta nuv!
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:03 PM on May 2 [2 favorites]

FINALLY SOME MOTHERFUCKING JAMMING EWOKS.

and to the Pixies, no less!
posted by From Bklyn at 2:09 PM on May 2

No. No no no no no.

No.
posted by Outlawyr at 2:10 PM on May 2

Great. Gobs. Of. Bantha. Poodoo.
posted by Dizzy at 2:13 PM on May 2

Alot of time and energy went into something that wouldnt even have been funny in its initial treatment stage.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 2:17 PM on May 2

This is an excellent example of terrible music ruining what could have been a decent joke. Not even Billy Dee is capable of redeeming this.

Is this gospel? Really?
posted by Tehanu at 2:18 PM on May 2

and to the Pixies, no less!

Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
posted by dgaicun at 2:19 PM on May 2

The breeders imo.
posted by RustyBrooks at 2:19 PM on May 2

This is not gospel, it's christian shlock soft rock bullshit.

Also: you haters are out of your fucking minds. Billy Dee seals the deal. That's just what he does.
posted by absalom at 2:22 PM on May 2

I certainly didn't expect YTMND to save the day, but these things do happen.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 2:23 PM on May 2

Barbershopshop quartet singing the Ewok celebration song.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 2:41 PM on May 2 [4 favorites]

Metafilter has the attention span of a gnat.
posted by smackfu at 2:41 PM on May 2

Suck it, playahs, my Mom was all hatin the Ewoks before the Internets even existed.

When I was little, I watched those Ewok TV Movies like their were the gospel. All summer, over and over again, I went on magical space adventures with my pal Wicket. I started to incorporate Ewok sayings into my normal speech patterns, particularly the word "Tootcha" which Wicket said all the time.

So I was all tootcha this and tootcha that. Drove my Mom crazy. One night at dinner, I tootcha'd over some sub-par fishsticks (In my approach to the word, tootcha could be good or bad based on delivery) when suddenly, like a bright bold of energy striking a peaceful planet, my Mom's hand comes down from great heights and smacks me in the back of the head. I was shocked. My dad, who being at work during the day missed most of my constant tootcha escapades, was shocked. My sister laughed.

"No. More. Ewoks." my Mom said through clenched, fishy teeth. "Ever. Ewoks are banned."

Toot-, I started, but then I saw the hard look in her eyes. Dad started to say something, but saw that look too, and stopped.

So that's how Ewoks were banned in my household. I had to hide half of my Star Wars action figures at the bottom of my toy chest. My blanket had large silhouettes cut from it. Any viewing of Star Wars: Ewoks was done at the safety of friends' houses and followed by a shower to wash the incriminating scent off.

It was a hard road, but every time my Mom's anti-Ewok oppression got me down, I remembered another band of little guys who struggled against a draconian regime on the forest moon of Endor and then I wouldn't feel so alone.

tootcha
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:45 PM on May 2 [25 favorites]

This is not gospel, it's christian shlock soft rock bullshit.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I guess it would have been funny if the tone had been completely different or if the music was actually good. I searched for better on the YouTubes, in vain. I do not recommend attempting it. You were warned.
posted by Tehanu at 2:51 PM on May 2

I guess Billy Dee needs the money since Shclitz doesnt do commercials anymore.

Secondly, we are to suspend our disbelief so much as to convince ourselves "Sure. Three feet tall. They can barely climb or walk. And. They can kick ass with rocks and sticks... AGAINST FUCKING LASER TANKS."


And so the Ewoks resorted to suicide bombings. Hey, that gives me an idea for a metaphor...
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:51 PM on May 2

If you want to actually see the Ewoks dancing, well then, Yub Y(out)ub(e).
posted by Nelson at 2:56 PM on May 2

Lots of shit in the Cheerios today.
posted by Cyrano at 3:03 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

I swear I watched this years ago. I'm frightened to think that it apparently wasn't from seeing it on the blue.


Where was I? When did I see it? These questions will now haunt me.
posted by Atreides at 3:26 PM on May 2

WARNING: Despite the wording on the front page of this post, no Ewoks actually "fucking jam out" in this video. Watch at your own risk, management is not responsible for any disappointment you might experience. Thank you.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 3:36 PM on May 2 [1 favorite]

That was not good.
posted by zekinskia at 3:41 PM on May 2

Uh, wow that was horrible.
posted by sharpener at 4:06 PM on May 2

I thought it was kind of funny, but I was mostly disappointed by the decided lack of jamming out Ewoks. I was mislead.
posted by Caduceus at 4:32 PM on May 2

Ewok jam is delicious. Spread it on a nice toasty bit of sourdough. Lovely.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:08 PM on May 2

I was promised EWOKS FUCKING JAMMING OUT!

Thanks for the save, EMRJKC94.

and to the Pixies, no less!

No no no no. The Breeders.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:17 PM on May 2

Am I the only one who kinda liked it? I mean, not in a "damn this is really good" kinda way, but it wasn't really terrible. And Billy Fuckin Dee! I mean, damn...
posted by sotonohito at 5:18 PM on May 2

Semi-related: Geeks On Abridged Version of Star Wars III.(direct MP3).
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 5:20 PM on May 2

Double the outrage with a Paedowok!

And yeah, seriously misleading link text [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST].
posted by jack_mo at 6:30 PM on May 2

Of course I was happy to see Billy Dee "Lando" Williams join the song, but overall this Andrew guy struck me as a poor man's Jonathan Coulton.
posted by PM at 6:46 PM on May 2

I will go one step beyond the people saying that Billy Dee saved it:

Ewoks would have ruined it.
posted by Flunkie at 8:00 PM on May 2

Ewoks would have ruined it.
Unless Billy Dee had been rocking out on a drum kit made from Ewoks. Now that would have been cool.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 8:08 PM on May 2

I have never felt more pity than I do, right now, for Billy Dee.

That was so fucking sad. I mean that.
posted by paddysat at 10:32 PM on May 2

Am I the only one who kinda liked it?

No, everyone who had their cheerios sans shit this morning seems to have thought it was moderately entertaining.

Although I have to admit that a drum kit made from Ewoks would have made it infinitely cooler. Come to think of it, just what do Ewoks make their drums out of anyway? Only thing around with enough skin to make leather from is dead Ewoks.
posted by tkolar at 11:03 PM on May 2

but it wasn't really terrible.

Oh what a high bar we have set.
posted by smackfu at 11:18 PM on May 2

> And THEN the ewoks fucking jam out.

No ... aw, heck, I can't do a one-upmanship on this if I can't find a single frickin' site on the Internet that hosts Meco's "Ewok Celebration." Which really must be heard to be believed. Only place I imagine you'll hear Ewokese rap.
posted by WCityMike at 8:02 AM on May 3

A site that hosts Meco's Ewok Celebration. (Google-FU, bitch!)

WCM totally FTW. Seven minutes of the ewoks genuinely fucking jamming out. And, oh yes, they've indeed got a rapper.
posted by dgaicun at 9:55 AM on May 3

> WCM totally FTW. Seven minutes of the ewoks genuinely fucking jamming out. And, oh yes, they've indeed got a rapper.

I actually went there, but clicked on the MP3 link and got a 404. I didn't bother clicking on the on-page Flash player. D'oh.

Anyway, glad I could share the weirdness that is "Ewok Celebration (Disco Mix)" by Meco with y'all. ;-)
posted by WCityMike at 3:34 PM on May 3