Comments on: Virtual Age and Life Expectancy Calculator

Virtual Age and Life Expectancy Calculator

paduasoy — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:21:15 -0800

Virtual Age and Life Expectancy Calculator "Your Virtual Age is a reflection of your health and vitality. The lower your Virtual Age the better shape you are in. It is used to calculate the Life Expectancy of someone of your current physical age."

See also the Living to 100 Life Expectancy Calculator.

By: lahersedor

lahersedor — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:41:10 -0800

My life expectancy: 81

By: netbros

netbros — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:45:08 -0800

actual age: 55 virtual age: 44 expectancy: 88

By: liquorice

liquorice — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:06:37 -0800

My virtual age is 14.5. Creepy.

By: Kronos_to_Earth

Kronos_to_Earth — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:06:54 -0800

There's also The Death Clock, something I bookmarked a couple years ago....then I reflected a bit; said to myself 'No, I saw it here..'. I must have (extensively) been going through the archives: Here it is in the 34th thread!

By: orange swan

orange swan — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:12:51 -0800

I'm a sexy virtual age 26! Do you hear that, ass and face?

By: languagehat

languagehat — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:23:48 -0800

Virtual age 40, life expectancy 93. I can live with that.

By: joannemerriam

joannemerriam — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:32:22 -0800

My actual age and virtual age are basically the same. Huh. I thought, "I'm jumping out of a plane right now" was hilarious.

By: pinkbuttonanus

pinkbuttonanus — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:32:26 -0800

I calculated on the behalf of my evil ex and got cheered up by the news that they are due to kick the bucket 5 years before me.

By: moonbiter

moonbiter — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:43:03 -0800

Fun, I guess, but pretty much worthless.

By: munchingzombie

munchingzombie — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:45:03 -0800

Actual Age:27 Virtual Age: 11 sex with me is going to feel so wrong now...

By: subgear

subgear — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:46:31 -0800

ugh. I'll live another 50.5 years, and I'm already SO BORED!

By: subgear

subgear — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:50:09 -0800

@pinkbutton *blush*: but how did you peer into your evil ex's heart and determine the level of happiness therein?

By: goatdog

goatdog — Sun, 04 May 2008 07:56:31 -0800

It says I'm already dead.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:00:09 -0800

I miss goatdog.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:00:25 -0800

goatdog: ouch...

By: Oxydude

Oxydude — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:06:40 -0800

Actual age: 18 Virtual age: -1.9 Life Expectancy: 96 This is why I have to stop cheating on these quizzes.

By: ErWenn

ErWenn — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:07:35 -0800

How the hell am I supposed to choose where I am on the spectrum from "average" to "stocky" to "bald and stocky"? That doesn't even make any sense!

By: miss tea

miss tea — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:08:31 -0800

My actual age is 34, virtual age 9.6, life expectancy 98.4. Ridiculous.

By: yomimono

yomimono — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:09:27 -0800

I answered honestly and got a virtual age of 3.1, which doesn't seem right for someone who eats a box of Shur-Fine Macaroni and Cheese every day.

By: voltairemodern

voltairemodern — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:10:40 -0800

Virtual age: 4.5? I don't think this is quite right. It reminds me of an old stress quiz developed by some psychologists in the 80s, wherein each cause of stress was assigned a numeric value, and your total numeric value was supposed to measure how stressed out you were. The idea was that you could assign a fairly small score, say 5, to an event like getting cut off on the highway, and a fairly large score, say 50, to the death of your wife. But this implied that someone who got cut off ten times on his way to work was just as stressed as someone who had recently gone through his wife's death. In other words, where the test failed, and where this one fails as well, is in acknowledging differences in kind of the various relevant factors.

By: Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America

Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:13:05 -0800

I don't have very long to live!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:13:52 -0800

bio age: 37 virtual age: 45.6 life expectancy: 66.4 FWIW

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:21:38 -0800

Actual: 45 Virtual: 39 Sexual: 18 Textual: 60 Trifectual: 1 in 4 Vectral: +1.5 Spectral: yes Bechtel: no Jeckyl: Hyde Pectoral: 2 Rectoral: once; I was drunk.

By: nax

nax — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:44:10 -0800

I was doing fine until I had to enter the average life spans of my parents and grandparents half of whom died really young from bizarre diseases that no one gets. I also tested out cortex and jessamyn (making it all up, since I know nothing about them) and discovered that they will live forever! Mathowie, however, is screwed.

By: Demogorgon

Demogorgon — Sun, 04 May 2008 08:51:30 -0800

Actual age: 24 Virtual age: 96 This was a depressing revelation, but a bottle of vodka and a pack of Lucky Strikes were able to quickly numb both the depression and the wounds from being repeatedly stabbed with a broken bottle.

By: JanetLand

JanetLand — Sun, 04 May 2008 09:03:03 -0800

I wonder if anyone's ever died while doing one of these quizzes?

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Sun, 04 May 2008 09:05:40 -0800

105. Can't remember if that's my life expectancy, my virtual age, or my real age.

By: [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST]

[NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] — Sun, 04 May 2008 09:17:19 -0800

I am virtually 10.8. From now on when anyone guesses my age, if they guess higher than 11 I'm going to be really offended.

By: mr_book

mr_book — Sun, 04 May 2008 09:45:48 -0800

ack! my virtual age is greater than my life expectancy! i'm dead! oh, wait, no. this is bullshit. right.

By: DenOfSizer

DenOfSizer — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:16:45 -0800

My virtual mage has always existed.

By: Commander Rachek

Commander Rachek — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:21:17 -0800

I couldn't help but notice that having untreated cancer only adds a couple years to your virtual age. Doesn't seem quite right, does it?

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:24:41 -0800

The Internet told me I have just nine years left to live. *sob*

By: Senor Cardgage

Senor Cardgage — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:36:00 -0800

Actual 33 Virtual 26 Expectancy 81

By: Xurando

Xurando — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:52:24 -0800

I was doing great but 20,000 miles a year of driving destroyed me.

By: maudlin

maudlin — Sun, 04 May 2008 11:02:39 -0800

I obviously got a defective birth certificate from Québec because this wee little Flash test states that I'm 12 years younger than that document claims. But this rigorous, iron-clad, absolutely scientific and deeply truthful test also says that I'm living to 87.5. *checks RSP value* So, anyone got any good cat kibble recipes? Seriously, this is pretty weakass, and I can see how some people here are getting fetal ages. I tried it a second time, plugging in some values assuming I make a few feasible changes to my lifestyle, and got an estimated age 22 years younger than my actual age. This time, I'm supposed to hang on to the age of 98. Soylent Green is obviously going to be everyone who runs slower than me. RealAge is much more detailed and generally gives a much more conservative estimate, but it buys into a lot of standard health and lifestyle advice. ("What? You aren't eating 6 servings of grain products EVERY DAY, short female person? You're gonna DIE soon!"). You can try it out, but have a disposable email address on hand for registration. These guys will spam you into eternity. (Oh, and you don't have to wait 1-2 hours for an email after you finish the test. Just click the tab for "My Plan").

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Sun, 04 May 2008 11:21:19 -0800

What exactly is "stocky?" Is that code for "short?" It says I'll live to 86, which means my musing in the mirror last night on the approach of my 41st birthday that in all likelihood I had already swept past the mid-point of my life was wrong. Party on.

By: spnx

spnx — Sun, 04 May 2008 11:24:40 -0800

Wow. Interesting toy. Virtual age 18.9 (!), biological age (in a few days) 38. That's weird. Tell that to my creaking joints after working out... 94.1 estimated life expectancy. Not surprising when I consider how many people lived (and continue to live) long lives in my families.

By: SmileyChewtrain

SmileyChewtrain — Sun, 04 May 2008 11:26:51 -0800

I like how it knocks three years off your life expectancy if you are cheating on your spouse.

By: found missing

found missing — Sun, 04 May 2008 11:38:25 -0800

According to this, I died last year. Which explains a lot.

By: Memo

Memo — Sun, 04 May 2008 11:52:26 -0800

"You can expect to live approximately another 1 more day." Bye guys. It was nice to have posted here.

By: 517

517 — Sun, 04 May 2008 12:15:40 -0800

Actual age: 27. Virtual age: 27. This thing is amazing.

By: Grod

Grod — Sun, 04 May 2008 12:17:00 -0800

biological age - 26 virtual age - 41.1 average life expectancy - 74 my life expectancy - 58.9 "You can expect to live approximately another 12000 more days." Sounds about right.

By: Grod

Grod — Sun, 04 May 2008 12:42:21 -0800

but that other calculator says I'll live 72 years. Split the difference and get 65.45.

By: Caduceus

Caduceus — Sun, 04 May 2008 13:16:52 -0800

Because clearly the thinner you are, the longer you're automatically going to live. That's totally how the world works.

By: Caduceus

Caduceus — Sun, 04 May 2008 13:19:55 -0800

And the fact that you're cheating on your significant other means you're going to die sooner. *if Mi-Fi had a selection of emoticons, I would insert an eye-roll here*

By: misha

misha — Sun, 04 May 2008 13:45:49 -0800

74 or 86, depending on whether or not genetics plays a significant role (my grandparents all lived into their 80s or 90s).

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:28:23 -0800

Actual age: 53. Virtual age: 52.5. Guess I'm maintaining an even strain.

By: misha

misha — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:33:21 -0800

Oh, yeah, actual age and virtual age were almost identical, I was talking about lifespan! I am not THAT old!

By: Lotto

Lotto — Sun, 04 May 2008 15:05:19 -0800

Actual age: 21 Virtual age: 14.3 Life expectancy 80.7

By: einer

einer — Sun, 04 May 2008 15:28:43 -0800

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainssss........

By: IronLizard

IronLizard — Sun, 04 May 2008 15:51:48 -0800

Virtual age: 23.4. Damn. Nobody likes you when you're 23.

By: DU

DU — Sun, 04 May 2008 16:27:45 -0800

Having few friends should be a positive. Lowered stress and decreased incidence of murder, baby!

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Sun, 04 May 2008 16:36:21 -0800

Because clearly the thinner you are, the longer you're automatically going to live. That's totally how the world works. And the fact that you're cheating on your significant other means you're going to die sooner. Correlation. Life insurance companies looking to maximize profits will have associated all sorts of factors with mortality. So, all else being equal, those who are fat are more likely to die while those in shape are less likely to die, and apparently those who are cheating on their significant other are also more likely to die. In the weight/fitness case we tend to posit a rather direct causality, i.e. being fat leads to heart disease, diabetes, and myriad other conditions which increase mortality, although there's some who will deny this causality. In the second case, causality probably isn't there, meaning that cheating on your spouse is associated with something else which increases mortality. An unhappy and stressful relationship could be such a thing - and remember these are statistical, not individual, predictions.

By: limnrix

limnrix — Sun, 04 May 2008 17:17:46 -0800

Next time someone tells me I'm acting immature I will inform them that I am virtually 13.

By: dejah420

dejah420 — Sun, 04 May 2008 17:38:59 -0800

Actual age....murmer murmer... virtual age 20, expectancy 94. So...who's gonna buy me some booze?

By: found missing

found missing — Sun, 04 May 2008 18:09:27 -0800

I got kicked out of an AOL chatroom for having a virtual age of 13.

By: six-or-six-thirty

six-or-six-thirty — Sun, 04 May 2008 19:39:50 -0800

Well, this isn't dumb. Like, at all.

By: six-or-six-thirty

six-or-six-thirty — Sun, 04 May 2008 19:44:03 -0800

Sorry, that may have been a little unnecessarily grumpy. And low on content. I must be tired, or just regressing to my virtual age of 15.4.

By: pjern

pjern — Sun, 04 May 2008 19:53:46 -0800

I'm already dead.

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Sun, 04 May 2008 20:08:40 -0800

Actual age 37, virtual 23.2 -- so does this mean it's *not* creepy for me to date 19 year olds??

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Sun, 04 May 2008 20:25:26 -0800

Virtual age: 188.2 Your life expectancy: 14.8 You can expect to live approximately another -31100 more days. I WIN

By: sysinfo

sysinfo — Sun, 04 May 2008 22:56:38 -0800

It's Thursday?? 3pm?! How can it be that specific? That, or I've got another 45 years to go.

By: amuseDetachment

amuseDetachment — Sun, 04 May 2008 23:48:26 -0800

Life expectancy quiz?

By: cholly

cholly — Sun, 04 May 2008 23:57:45 -0800

Virtual Age: 5.8 Real Age: 19 Expectancy 87.9 I think I like this test =P

By: rongorongo

rongorongo — Mon, 05 May 2008 03:27:01 -0800

The statistical odds of you living to 100 are actually falling much faster than you might believe. In the UK Bookmaker William Hill has stopped paying out bets that people will live to 100 and extended the age to 105 or even 110. And from this article: "[for babies born this year] Their chances of living to 100 are 18.1% for boys; 23.5% for girls, according to the Office for National Statistics. The odds for a 40-year-old male reading this article are somewhat longer, at just 8%. A 40-year-old woman has an 11.7% chance of reaching the magic three figures."

By: lordrunningclam

lordrunningclam — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:18:19 -0800

Actual Age 50, Virtual Age 44.9 I suppose I can live with that, at least until I'm 81 (according to the calculator).

By: lordrunningclam

lordrunningclam — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:36:15 -0800

I like the other calculator better. It says I'll live to be 94.

By: adamms222

adamms222 — Mon, 05 May 2008 09:25:38 -0800

90.5? No thanks...

By: ob

ob — Mon, 05 May 2008 09:54:14 -0800

Real Age: 32 Virtual Age: 10.7 Life Expectancy: 95.3 Time for a beer!