Comments on: Not where he eats, but where he is eaten

Not where he eats, but where he is eaten

cerebus19 — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:24:22 -0800

Coming soon, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead, probably the first movie to combine Shakespeare, Tom Stoppard, and vampires. It is, however, not the first time The Bard and the undead have been seen together.

The movie, incidentally, stars Dustin Hoffman's son Jake, Ralph Macchio (no, really!), and the guy who played Artie on "The Sopranos". The score is being written by Sean Lennon.

By: cerebus19

cerebus19 — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:26:43 -0800

Whoops. The "and" in the movie's title should be an ampersand. Please forgive me.

By: gurple

gurple — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:31:27 -0800

The level of critical acclaim that this movie would have to get in order for me to risk ruining my cherished memories of Stoppards film is awfully improbable. On the order of 75 consecutive 'heads' coinflips in a row or thereabouts.

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:34:55 -0800

not the first time The Bard and the undead have been seen together.

I'm pretty sure that, during one of the Simpson's "Treehouse of Horror" episodes, Homer killed Zombie Shakespeare.

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:37:58 -0800

"Show's over Shakespeare" --Homer Simpson

By: rusty

rusty — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:39:18 -0800

Wow. Combining Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and vampires! For me, this is like a bacon sandwich with bacon on top. Also, gurple: The film of R&GAD was not that good, IMO. You should just look at this and that as opposite sides of the same coin. Or the same side of two different coins, as it were.

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:48:55 -0800

Who wants to play Questions?

By: gurple

gurple — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:49:20 -0800

Why would I want to play Questions?

By: DU

DU — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:49:23 -0800

The film of R&GAD was not that good, IMO. There's something out there that is BETTER THAN the film of R&GaD? It's the one time I really thought Richard Dreyfuss was good. Unfortunately, I can't find his "rape of the Sabine women" clip.

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:49:52 -0800

don't you like Questions?

By: Parasite Unseen

Parasite Unseen — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:50:51 -0800

What in God's name does playing Questions have to do with this discussion?

By: gurple

gurple — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:51:25 -0800

Didn't we play a game of Questions once that went really badly?

By: googly

googly — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:52:22 -0800

This game of questions, is it something I'd have to have read and/or seen Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead to understand?

By: gurple

gurple — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:52:40 -0800

Is this what a Questions MMORPG would be like?

By: absalom

absalom — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:54:00 -0800

By playing Questions, am I contributing to a derail?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:56:50 -0800

Is everyone clear on the rules of Questions?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:58:04 -0800

Didn't we play a game of Questions once that went really badly? When was that?

By: frobozz

frobozz — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:58:56 -0800

Is everyone clear on the rules of Questions? Are you questioning my Questioning ability?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:00:42 -0800

Did I offend you?

By: DU

DU — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:01:51 -0800

To comment on the actual link: Ralph Macchio is still hamming a bad Italian stereotype. The director (in the movie) reminded me of someone but I couldn't place who. Dustin Hoff...oh, right. He looks exactly the same. The movie could go either way. If they do something with it, could be awesome. If it's basically just a 90 minute pun on the title, meh.

By: grobstein

grobstein — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:03:47 -0800

Reminds me of a Bauhaus song. Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are dead UNDEAD UNDEAD UNDEAD

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:04:47 -0800

Is offense is the best defense in Questions? The amount of glee the idea of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead is only matched by the dread I feel

By: dyoneo

dyoneo — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:07:24 -0800

This has to be better than the unbelievably shitty Waiting for Godot with werewolves I once sat through: A country road. A tree. Evening. Estragon, sitting on a low mound, is trying to chew off his foot. He pulls at it with his teeth, panting. He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again. As before. Enter Vladimir. ESTRAGON: (giving up again). GRWR-arrr. VLADIMIR: (advancing with short, stiff strides, legs wide apart). I'm beginning to come round to that opinion. All my life I've tried to put it from me, saying Vladimir, be reasonable, you haven't yet tried everything. And I resumed the struggle. (He broods, musing on the struggle. Turning to Estragon.) So there you are again. ESTRAGON: Grwr-AR? VLADIMIR: I'm glad to see you back. I thought you were gone forever. ESTRAGON: Rrawgh. VLADIMIR: Together again at last! We'll have to celebrate this. But how? (He reflects.) Get up till I embrace you. ESTRAGON: (irritably). Grrr. Grrr. etc.

By: The White Hat

The White Hat — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:10:58 -0800

All we, like, have to do is type like teenage girls and all our statements will, like, sound interrogative?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:14:55 -0800

wouldn't that be cheating?

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:22:02 -0800

Are we playing Questions again?

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:28:50 -0800

No but maybe but I don't know but perhaps?

By: DU

DU — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:31:35 -0800

R/G: Death is like this thread. G/R: That's crazy, death is the great Not Being. You can't not be in a thread. R/G: I've often not been in a thread. G/R: No, what you've been is not-in-a-thread. You've never not-been, in a thread.

By: 1f2frfbf

1f2frfbf — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:34:32 -0800

You want to make this a thread of questions? My goodness no, over your dead body.

By: cmyk

cmyk — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:41:00 -0800

Do we have to play Questions again?

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:46:53 -0800

Is there something else you'd rather be doing?

By: hexxed

hexxed — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:07:28 -0800

am I dead?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:09:40 -0800

How do we know who wins?

By: desuetude

desuetude — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:10:18 -0800

Julian Marsh (Hoffman) is an out of work ladies man who lands a job directing a bizarre adaption of Hamlet. After casting his best friend (Lemche) and his ex-girlfriend (Aoki) in the show, Julian finds himself in the middle of a two thousand year old conspiracy that explains the connection between Shakespeare, the Holy Grail and some seriously sexy vampires. It turns out that the play was actually written by a master vampire named Theo Horace (Ventimiglia) and it's up to Julian to recover the Grail in order to reverse the vampire's curse... If only being undead wasn't so much God-damned fun! WTF?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:10:20 -0800

am I dead? are you breathing?

By: ericbop

ericbop — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:11:32 -0800

Needs more Gary Oldman? Is this your favorite line from the trailer, too? "Like, since we're making these modernizations, bro? Instead of Rosencrantz & Guildensterns [sic], what about like, Dudencrantz and Doggenstern?"

By: MrVisible

MrVisible — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:12:12 -0800

What if I simply refuse to play Questions?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:12:31 -0800

Can anyone play?

By: steef

steef — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:15:44 -0800

Wait, did you say "Ralph Macchio"?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:16:49 -0800

DU, here is a taste... Or rather, woman. Or rather, Alfred. Did I screw up the game?

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:21:35 -0800

Did I screw up the game? Do you think it'd work better if we quoted the previous question?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:23:20 -0800

What are you on about now?

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:25:21 -0800

Is that your way of saying "no"?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:26:09 -0800

Are you asking me?

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:27:18 -0800

Is there anyone else here to ask?

By: weston

weston — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:27:19 -0800

What should we do with the people who violate the "rhetorical" restriction?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:31:41 -0800

Where did he come from?

By: anthill

anthill — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:36:10 -0800

Look, are we here to play questions, or to discuss?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:39:04 -0800

How can I tell if I'm playing?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:45:32 -0800

How can I tell if I'm playing? Is the game too difficult for you?

By: deCadmus

deCadmus — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:45:56 -0800

Is there any point to a film like this if it doesn't feature Stoppard's damn-his-eyes-for-better-execution-of-theEnglish-language-than-any-native-English-speaker-save-the-Bard-himself wordplay?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:46:51 -0800

Is the game too difficult for you? Do you think you can beat me?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:50:48 -0800

Do you think you can beat me? Is that a challenge?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:51:36 -0800

Is that a challenge? Are you looking for a fight?

By: Zetetics

Zetetics — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:54:21 -0800

Do you think it matters?

By: wabbittwax

wabbittwax — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:57:46 -0800

Are you looking for a fight? Should I be intimidated?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:59:57 -0800

Should I be intimidated? Do you find passive-aggressive nerds intimidating?

By: rusty

rusty — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:05:46 -0800

What's the first thing you remember?

By: JHarris

JHarris — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:08:22 -0800

A A A R R R G G G H H H ! ! ! ...?

By: JHarris

JHarris — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:09:52 -0800

(Or should that be, "Braaains?")

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:10:38 -0800

Is everyone clear on the rules of Questions? Is there a rule against non-sequitors?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:11:04 -0800

Um, or poor spellors?

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:23:34 -0800

Weird. I was just IMDB'ing Ethan Embrey last night while streaming Don Coscarelli's episode of Masters of Horror last night/this morning and tripped over that.

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:43:19 -0800

Did anyone but me try unsuccessfully to get all and sundry to play a game of Questions in their youth?

By: Solon and Thanks

Solon and Thanks — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:45:23 -0800

Is there a rule against non-sequitors? Have you ever read the rules?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:45:33 -0800

Did anyone but me try unsuccessfully to get all and sundry to play a game of Questions in their youth? Does my present enthusiasm provide a clue?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:46:37 -0800

Have you ever read the rules? Aren't there variations of all games?

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:47:35 -0800

Does anyone else think Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead with Vampires sounds really kind of stupid? Or am I the only person who thinks that vampires, save in extraordinary cases, are usually really stupid? Also, are we really playing Questions if nobody is keeping score?

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:49:07 -0800

Also, are we really playing Questions if nobody is keeping score? More to the point, is an online game of Questions even possible considering the rule against hesitation?

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:51:28 -0800

Did anyone but me try unsuccessfully to get all and sundry to play a game of Questions in their youth? Were the other participants familiar with the play, or did you just accost random people and attempt to engage them in the game?

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:54:13 -0800

If there are variations of all games, could Questions not be modified to allow for the limitations of online play?

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:56:59 -0800

I usually find some chloroform, hardwood chairs and an industrial nail gun quite conducive to encouraging people to play Questions with me. I tend to win disappointingly quickly though, as most of the other player's responses tend to be along the lines of "Oh God, why are you doing this to me?", "Can you please end the pain?" and the old favorite "Have you no soul?"

By: prefpara

prefpara — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:29:08 -0800

If there are variations of all games, could Questions not be modified to allow for the limitations of online play? posted by louche mustachio at 5:54 PM on May 7 It's 7:28 pm... does that answer your question?

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:34:01 -0800

Oh fuck. I just lost the game. Or, wait — Oh fuck, I just lost the game? Or — no, wait — FUCK!

By: Uther Bentrazor

Uther Bentrazor — Wed, 07 May 2008 17:40:23 -0800

THIS SOUNDS AWESOME PUTTING ZOMBIES IN EVERYTHING NEVER GETS OLD LIKE THE ZOMBIES THEMSELVES THE NOVELTY NEVER DIES HA HA I AM WITTY I HOPE THEY MAKE ONE WITH PIRATES NEXT OR MAYBE CHUCK NORRIS HA HA THAT WOULD BE GREAT HELLO I AM FUCKING 12.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:06:39 -0800

Does anyone else think Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead with Vampires sounds really kind of stupid? Yes, clearly should have been werewolves.

By: dlugoczaj

dlugoczaj — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:41:50 -0800

Unfortunately, now I'm mentally replacing Gary Oldman at his most adorable, with his really cool hairdo, from R&G with Gary Oldman, at his most creepy, with the absurd valentine of a hairdo from Dracula. Dammit.

By: i_love_squirrels

i_love_squirrels — Wed, 07 May 2008 20:10:26 -0800

I want to go home!

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 07 May 2008 20:37:09 -0800

Have I missed anything?

By: goo

goo — Thu, 08 May 2008 04:15:31 -0800

Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 08 May 2008 05:46:30 -0800

You mean like "have I missed anything"?

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Thu, 08 May 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Improper punctuation! One - love.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 08 May 2008 06:03:38 -0800

Statement! One-all, amirite?

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Thu, 08 May 2008 06:21:27 -0800

I love R&GAD with a deep and abiding passion. I played G once in high school, opposite my best friend who played R. As a consequence of loving the play and the movie (which would probably be better if re-shot today, but in the same vein), I shall not be seeing this wretched cinematic abortion.

By: Gable Oak

Gable Oak — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:17:17 -0800

Where is Tim Roth when we need him?

By: Vindaloo

Vindaloo — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:44:53 -0800

Would this movie be better with Robots?

By: steveburnett

steveburnett — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:40:01 -0800

Where is Tim Roth when we need him? Gable Oak, costarring in the new The Incredible Hulk?