Join 3,500 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


The laws of your world don't apply, mortals!
May 15, 2008 10:31 PM   Subscribe

The 46 Anime Laws of Physics.
posted by msaleem (34 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
I like anime, and I like everything2, but I don't think that this makes for a fulfilling post by itself.
posted by lekvar at 10:46 PM on May 15, 2008


Me neither.
posted by pravit at 10:48 PM on May 15, 2008


everything2 is cool n all but generally one link post with no context don't work so well.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 10:51 PM on May 15, 2008


LEAVE MINMEI ALONE!
posted by pompomtom at 10:56 PM on May 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


Um, I hate to burst your bubble and all, but this was old news on the internet when I was a freshman in high school, and I'm now a graduate student.

The nostalgia is kinda nice, though.
posted by bettafish at 10:59 PM on May 15, 2008


Hadn't seen this one. Laughed out loud at least twice before I got to #17, at which point there was actual guffawing involved.
posted by tkolar at 11:02 PM on May 15, 2008


Hey guys, please pardon me for not developing the above entry more before submitting. Here is a more extended 100 anime laws of physics and a somewhat humorous 10 Murphy's laws of anime.
posted by msaleem at 11:06 PM on May 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Posters previous like #4 - Law of Constant Thrust. In (meta)space, constant thrust equals constant velocity of smug.
posted by Mblue at 11:12 PM on May 15, 2008


Huh...I thought there were 100!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:17 PM on May 15, 2008


I love when I come on MeFi and I see that some of the links are already grey, like Ive clicked on them before... Then I realize I checked them out from Digg earlier today.
posted by subaruwrx at 11:23 PM on May 15, 2008


Yeah, but not all of us have the balls to inflict Digg on ourselves.
posted by Caduceus at 11:47 PM on May 15, 2008


I searched for 'tentacle' and came up empty. I suspect this list is incomplete.
posted by knave at 11:51 PM on May 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


I remember this from getting on the Internet back in the first half of the nineties and finding huge FTP archives of amusing texts. It's quite funny, but it's not exactly new.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 11:54 PM on May 15, 2008


Only 100, TLF? I've heard there are over 9000!
posted by lumensimus at 11:56 PM on May 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Hadn't seen it. This post is fine. Thanks.
posted by nthdegx at 11:57 PM on May 15, 2008


The (even older) Cartoon Laws of Physics are better than this. (And I'm sure somebody else can find an even better collection)
posted by wendell at 12:10 AM on May 16, 2008


I just a moment ago almost linked to the E2 node for "never underestimate the bandwidth of a stationwagon full of tapes" in a MetaTalk comment, but chose a different link because I didn't want to hurt their server too badly.

I wrote a bit there, back in the day, and it tended to limp a bit under heavy loads. If so, still: Digg? Metafilter? It has to be crying right now.
posted by loquacious at 12:43 AM on May 16, 2008


Also, that being said - there's a lot of quality fiction and non-fiction writing on E2 that's sort of pre-blog stuff that could totally stand being linked to from MeFi.
posted by loquacious at 12:44 AM on May 16, 2008


My friend has noticed such a motif in Sailor Moon cartoons which I will dub the Law of Mammarial Rectitude:

The size and nakedness of a character's breasts are directly proportional to their evilness.
posted by dgaicun at 2:36 AM on May 16, 2008


Are there rules for anime porn?
posted by fixedgear at 3:48 AM on May 16, 2008


Just rule 34.
posted by Talanvor at 5:56 AM on May 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


I remember seeing a list some time ago that had rules for hentai, things like "guys, even virgins, never prematurely ejaculate" and "despite being a virgin, girls can accept objects into them roughly the size of a road cone, and will eventually orgasm from it" but I'm not about to search for "hentai" or "anime porn" anything while at work.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:08 AM on May 16, 2008


I'm not about to search for "hentai" or "anime porn" anything while at work.
Uther Bentrazor- you have my permission to take an early mark.
posted by tellurian at 6:12 AM on May 16, 2008


#2 Law of Differentiated Gravitation
posted by farishta at 6:39 AM on May 16, 2008


Great source for bushing up before that big Anime exam!
posted by MikeonTV at 7:00 AM on May 16, 2008


Are there rules for anime porn?
Here are some.

* Semen is incandescent, and flows in mighty spurts.

* The number of tentacles is equal to or greater than the number of limbs and/or available orifices on a schoolgirl.

* The cuter the schoolgirl, the greater the chances of gang rape and/or public sexual humiliation.

* Crimefighting / paranormal investigating / undercover reporting duos are merely a front for having lots of yaoi sex.
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:02 AM on May 16, 2008


This one makes perfect sense to me:

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
posted by squasha at 7:37 AM on May 16, 2008


This list would be better with some bacon porn.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:40 AM on May 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


I know I'm not THAT old, but strangely anything that happened to me between the ages of 9 and 14 all kind of blend together...anyway, I vaguely remember reading in a Korean gaming mag around that time about a book that was released in Japan where the author took a super serious look at what would happen in the real world if the physics and technology of in anime and manga were made a reality with real world physics. Sort of like a Zombie Survival Guide for manga/anime. One of the fun tidbits pointed out was that for a person to control a giant robot from a driver's seat/control located somewhere on top (usually the head or the chest as anime/manga would like to portray) would not work. Something along the lines of how even with the best stablizers and shock absorbers, being that high up on something that big that had that much range of mtion would just be too much motion. The simple act of trying to make the robot walk would induce an epic motion sickness that the driver would be too incapacitated to do much, let alone fight. I kind of wanted that book. Nowadays I just wonder if I imagined the whole book since I never tracked down a copy then.
posted by kkokkodalk at 8:48 AM on May 16, 2008


The simple act of trying to make the robot walk would induce an epic motion sickness that the driver would be too incapacitated to do much, let alone fight.

Well, duhhhhhh. That's what LCL and the plug suit are for!
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:53 AM on May 16, 2008


#26 - Law of Feline Mutation
(from A. Hicks)

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: 1) be female, 2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation, 3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any


As usual, Schrödinger violates an apparent law of the universe.
posted by CKmtl at 9:01 AM on May 16, 2008


#11 - Law of Inherent Combustibility

Everything explodes. Everything.


This is true.

Of course, I do tend to look at the world from a "Hmm, I wonder how much Semtex I could fit in there" perspective. It's sort of a glass half full/ half empty kind of thing, but with more concussive force.
posted by quin at 9:44 AM on May 16, 2008 [2 favorites]


Oh, Quin, that I could favorite someone multiple times.
posted by mephron at 9:52 AM on May 16, 2008


Where the law about semen lassos?
posted by GuyZero at 10:11 AM on May 16, 2008 [2 favorites]


« Older Kim Neely has enjoyed a very rich professional lif...  |  With a pickup mounted on the b... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments