And remember, always use the word "sugartits"

May 18, 2008 4:07 PM

We've all seen scary mugshots on The Smoking Gun, but who cares about the famous and infamous when we can celebrate mugshots of the average joe? As the author of 21 Best Mugshots Evar wrote:

"When you go to jail, remember that your mugshot belongs to the ages. And in today's world, once you get it taken, it belongs to the Internets. Be sure to make it one worth remembering."

I'll keep that in mind should I ever be arrested. So sit back, ignore the screwed-up numbering layout, titles and comments (though a few are amusing), and <>enjoy the mugshots as is.

My favourite is #1.

#17 is just scary.

posted by bwg (64 comments total)

Second link was fine in preview, but somehow it got borked into <>.
posted by bwg at 4:09 PM on May 18, 2008

Really? No Brian Peppers?
posted by adamrice at 4:14 PM on May 18, 2008 [3 favorites]

Thanks for the freaking nightmare, adamrice.
posted by bwg at 4:16 PM on May 18, 2008

Great list, but I can not believe Curtis Allgier did not make the cut.
posted by Mr_Zero at 4:22 PM on May 18, 2008

what a lovely link.
posted by krautland at 4:22 PM on May 18, 2008

Hmm, is that an improper use of the "sugartits" tag?

Judges?
posted by lilnemo at 4:23 PM on May 18, 2008

#17 has to be Beavis' long-lost father.
posted by jonmc at 4:30 PM on May 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

For a moment when I first saw #5, my brain thought it was upside down or something.

And I have a friend that looks a lot like #1, but without the mustache.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 4:36 PM on May 18, 2008

What the hell happened to #13?!?! That can't just be dirt. He looks like a reanimated rotting corpse, or maybe his entire head has somehow become gangrenous.

And if you combined #10 and #4, you would actually produce Rick James. Col' blooded!
posted by DecemberBoy at 4:37 PM on May 18, 2008

If my son wore his beard longer, he would be a dead ringer for #15.

I could easily picture him making the same faces for his mug shot, too.

Perhaps #15 is the result of one of my younger indiscretions.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:40 PM on May 18, 2008

I never want to see Brian Peppers again! OMFG.
posted by Flex1970 at 4:40 PM on May 18, 2008

Hmm, is that an improper use of the "sugartits" tag?

You're supposed to heed the title and use it next time you get arrested, silly.
posted by bwg at 4:41 PM on May 18, 2008

I used to work at a library where the security guards kept Polaroids of people they had "banned for life" from the library. I remember there were quite a few of the people flipping off the camera and several were pictures of people passed out on the floor.
posted by marxchivist at 4:45 PM on May 18, 2008

# 9 - Has to be said - "I'd hit it" - but I'm drunk right now. :)
posted by Falling_Saint at 4:48 PM on May 18, 2008

Marxchivist - funny, one of our recent banned patron pics looks a lot like #5 Beardo
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 4:49 PM on May 18, 2008

Here is an interesting exhibition of headshots of convicts later found innocent. Not enough photos and they are apparently after exoneration -- I'd love to see their mugshots at arrest.
posted by msalt at 4:49 PM on May 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Great list, but I can not believe Curtis Allgier did not make the cut.

I'm feeling kind of sorry for Curtis. He looks like a schizophrenic whose word salad has wandered off the page and ended up all over his face.

He's never gonna get hired as a greeter for Walmart.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:59 PM on May 18, 2008

truth be told, they didn't actually commit a serious crime....every one of them was arrested under the "ugly/weird/scary in public" law.... we have that here too, I can't go outside anymore since I got old and strange looking...

/rumor has it that cortex hasn't seen the light of day since he was five because of this....
posted by HuronBob at 5:00 PM on May 18, 2008

#18 beat up Gary Busey and stole his teeth and gums - no small accomplishment.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:00 PM on May 18, 2008

That list is incomplete. Really.
posted by dobbs at 5:01 PM on May 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

Convicts Are Funny!
posted by Dizzy at 5:12 PM on May 18, 2008

It was THAT one officer. He... he... programmed my website!
posted by hal9k at 5:19 PM on May 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

A series of photos lifted from The Smoking Gun, accompanied by one or two line snarky comments and a ton of ads. Content: it's tough.
posted by jscott at 5:19 PM on May 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

I wonder if #5 was arrested for improper carriage of a battle-axe.

If #7 isn't a color error, he's a colloidal silver user.

#9 is just cute. :)

The pointed ears go very well with #11's collar. Pity he isn't grinning, so we could count his teeth.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 5:42 PM on May 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

If #7 isn't a color error, he's a colloidal silver user.

I can't believe people still use that. I would rather be sick than blue. They must have better marketing guys than the tobacco industry.
posted by Mr_Zero at 5:48 PM on May 18, 2008

Great list, but I can not believe Curtis Allgier did not make the cut.

Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel,
Never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel,
Like a snowball down a mountain or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning running rings around the moon,
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face,
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space,
Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your face.
posted by Free word order! at 5:49 PM on May 18, 2008

Hm. I can't find it, but I think Merlin Mann posted suggestions for a great mug shot. I think it was: Lean towards the camera, tilt your head a bit, & smile. The example photos cracked me up. I hope I find it before the next time I visit the DMV...
posted by Pronoiac at 6:01 PM on May 18, 2008

This would be so much better if it included what these people were being charged with (I can guess some of them) and whether they were found guilty or innocent.

I'm curious about them all but I really want to know if #18's transgression involved Tupperware. Or an ax.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 6:04 PM on May 18, 2008

I'm in there somewhere...first one to guess which one is me gets a big sloppy kiss.
posted by telstar at 6:07 PM on May 18, 2008

Great list, but I can not believe Curtis Allgier did not make the cut.

I'm surprised they missed this lovely gentleman as well.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:30 PM on May 18, 2008

#1 looks like he should be ordering you to start wearing purple.
posted by katillathehun at 6:31 PM on May 18, 2008

I am surprised most of those people made this list
posted by munchingzombie at 6:53 PM on May 18, 2008

Undeniably the most nightmarish mugshot of all time.

And his charge was kidnapping.
posted by sourwookie at 6:54 PM on May 18, 2008

I would rather be sick than blue.

That's so smurfist.
posted by dirigibleman at 6:57 PM on May 18, 2008 [2 favorites]

no Paul Addis?!
posted by jcruelty at 7:02 PM on May 18, 2008

sourwookie, FTW.
posted by Poolio at 7:30 PM on May 18, 2008

I've always thought Brian Peppers was okay. If I knew him, I could accept him. Doesn't weird me out. sourwookie's link tho... Yeah. Yeah. That guy definitely snorts his coke using a rolled up dollar bill.
posted by rlk at 7:54 PM on May 18, 2008

Falling_Saint wrote...
# 9 - Has to be said - "I'd hit it"

No, actually, it didn't need to be said.

Someone please reset the clock.
posted by tkolar at 8:15 PM on May 18, 2008

Someone please reset the clock.

Why, so you can say, "Someone please reset the clock" again in about 8 minutes?
posted by dobbs at 8:30 PM on May 18, 2008

Don't they have to ask my permission before they post my picture?
posted by mazola at 8:32 PM on May 18, 2008

Funny, but then again kinda not.

#1 has the look of a seriously-addled meth fiend
#7 is a colloidal coper snakeoil victim
#13 looks like he's been in some sort of (meth lab?) explosion. My guess is that it's not blackface.
#15 looks dangerously insane. That shit is going to give me nightmares. I'm seriously going to see his face in my dreams tonight and wake up in a cold sweat.
#17 I'm guessing has some sort of genetic illness
#19 is obviously an albino
and #14, #10 and #2 are just guys in "funny" t-shirts
posted by Afroblanco at 8:36 PM on May 18, 2008 [1 favorite]

(colloidal silver, not 'coper')
posted by Afroblanco at 8:44 PM on May 18, 2008

tkolar

Just a flashback to my Fark days ... :)
posted by Falling_Saint at 9:08 PM on May 18, 2008

Dobbs wrote...

Why, so you can say, "Someone please reset the clock" again in about 8 minutes?

It's been over a month since the last clock reset. And it's not really clear that deserved one.

Falling_Saint wrote...

Just a flashback to my Fark days ... :)

Understood.
posted by tkolar at 9:31 PM on May 18, 2008

Where's this from, Minnesota?
posted by ryanrs at 9:56 PM on May 18, 2008

#15 looks to me like he may have cerebral palsy or some other disability; the position of his neck and his facial expressions don't look voluntary to me.
posted by not that girl at 10:05 PM on May 18, 2008

You think #2 is into Crunk?
posted by dirigibleman at 10:48 PM on May 18, 2008

Not technically a mugshot, but one of my favorites.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:54 PM on May 18, 2008

tkolar: It's been over a month since the last clock reset. And it's not really clear that deserved one.

Actually, it's been ten days. Where's the person tracking this in the profile, & should it go on the wiki instead?
posted by Pronoiac at 11:03 PM on May 18, 2008

It's an addiction.
posted by null terminated at 11:08 PM on May 18, 2008 [4 favorites]

Sourwookie! Your link has forever sucked the cute out of the term "button nosed". cringe
posted by maryh at 11:58 PM on May 18, 2008

#17 I'm guessing has some sort of genetic illness

I'm thinking, normal guy with a big forehead that is now swollen from a recent injury. See all the scratches? Drunk driver hit the windshield, methinks.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:22 AM on May 19, 2008

And the best mugshot ever goes to Ole Blue Eyes.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:24 AM on May 19, 2008

#18 looks a great gal, I hope she's not a mass-murderer or anything.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:40 AM on May 19, 2008

When it comes to suave mugshots, you have to give it up to Bowie.
posted by gngstrMNKY at 3:23 AM on May 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

And the best mugshot ever goes to Ole Blue Eyes.
posted by Cool Papa Bell

When it comes to suave mugshots, you have to give it up to Bowie.
posted by gngstrMNKY

Look at the two of them - Sinatara is better looking of course, but there's a definite resemblance.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 3:43 AM on May 19, 2008

Bowie looks like a intelligent, civilized alien that has fallen to earth. Oh.
posted by Summer at 6:45 AM on May 19, 2008

Nothing tops MAAWET (multiple arrest attractive woman with elaborate tattoo)
posted by aerotive at 6:59 AM on May 19, 2008

"#17 I'm guessing has some sort of genetic illness"

"I'm thinking, normal guy with a big forehead that is now swollen from a recent injury. See all the scratches? Drunk driver hit the windshield, methinks."

Me, I thought it was Photoshop.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:59 AM on May 19, 2008

I'm thinking, normal guy with a big forehead that is now swollen from a recent injury.

Personally, I'm glad that Professor Neil McKeganey has finally been arrested. His abuses when citing drug treatment research has bordered on the criminal for far too long.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:47 AM on May 19, 2008

And the best mugshot ever goes to Ole Blue Eyes.

So good, they turned it into posters that can now be found at average bars across the country.
posted by inigo2 at 9:11 AM on May 19, 2008

I've been trying to work out #21, and I think it went something like this:

"Prisoner, stand against that wall, we are going to take your picture. Ok now, what are you being charged for? Soliciting a prostitute? That's no big deal. We'll get you processed, and you can call your lawyer.

Hey, wait a minute, guys, look at this. Our John here wasn't just busted for seeing a hooker, he was busted for getting caught with Randy, the local drag queen.

What? You didn't know it was a dude?"

*presses camera shutter*

::click::

[With apologies to Patton Oswalt]
posted by quin at 9:51 AM on May 19, 2008

IIRC, #13 applied shoe polish to his face in preparation for a night time robbery.
posted by de void at 10:41 AM on May 19, 2008

gngstrMNKY: Heheh, I was just about to post that myself. More proof that Bowie is as dapper as can be in any situation.
posted by kryptondog at 11:22 AM on May 20, 2008