Spassky, you scalliwag. You countered Kasparov's Gaping Opening with your own Forceful Flying Thrust! posted by WolfDaddy at 4:11 PM on May 19, 2008
OOh... oh God... I'm dying here! That... it's... I mean... and then the security guy swats it out of the air...
OK, I just now caught my breath. Thanks so much for this. I don't care if it's juvenile, this is the funniest goddamn thing I've seen all year. posted by DecemberBoy at 4:14 PM on May 19, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]
GIVE US A BREAK YOU FUCKS! posted by dersins at 4:15 PM on May 19, 2008
That's fucking magnificent. Incredible. posted by loquacious at 4:19 PM on May 19, 2008
I'm trying to imagine how the Secret Service would deal with this at a McCain rally. Significant amounts of leaping and machine-gun fire methinks. posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:21 PM on May 19, 2008
This reminds me of that story from the second continental congress where Jefferson's skittering clockwork vagina snagged Ben Franklin's shoe buckle. posted by bunnytricks at 4:30 PM on May 19, 2008 [47 favorites has favorites]
I am truly stuck, mentally, at thirteen years old. That made my afternoon! posted by maxwelton at 4:44 PM on May 19, 2008
And to think I just finished watching Steve Ballmer getting egged and thought "how'd he get eggs past security, esp. with a shirt like that?". I'm now forced to ask no one in particular "how do you get a remote-controlled heli-dildo past security?".
Sometimes, people rule. posted by revmitcz at 4:45 PM on May 19, 2008
What was Kasparov speaking about (and what was his, ah, comeback?)
And what are the odds someone in the the Soviet government did this to make him look foolish? posted by zippy at 4:47 PM on May 19, 2008
Soviet Russian posted by zippy at 4:48 PM on May 19, 2008
Wow. Neat if only to find out that emelenjr's penis looks just like my penis only small. And isn't capable of sustained flight. posted by dobbs at 4:49 PM on May 19, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]
I laughed pretty hard. What was the point, though? posted by HighTechUnderpants at 4:55 PM on May 19, 2008
OK then. I ignored this post until just now. Why do I care that someone threw a fake dong at Kasparov? Bored, I finally clicked. LOL! I, too, LOLed. Out loud. I hope a translation turns up. Kasparov is a smart and witty man, and I'd love to hear what he said.
I also would like to know what went through that security dude's mind when he startled. AH! FLYING DONG!!!! GET IT!!! posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 5:03 PM on May 19, 2008
How the fuck, with 50 cameras, did they get such a shitty shot of the flying penis? Jesus, it a FLYING FAKE PENIS, CAMERA DUDES! Do your jobs and cover the story! posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:06 PM on May 19, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]
I also would like to know what went through that security dude's mind when he startled. AH! FLYING DONG!!!! GET IT!!!
Me too. It seems like when he first hears the noise, he immediately thinks "oh shit, we're being attacked somehow", then he sees what it is and is at least somewhat amused, especially if you look at the still image. This story will undoubtedly be passed down in his family for generations. "Kids, did I ever tell you about the time your grandfather swatted a heli-dildo out of the air?" posted by DecemberBoy at 5:10 PM on May 19, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]
Check out the guy to the left of security-guy in the still photo. He just has a look of total disgust for him on his face. "Is flying dildo. Security cannot even control flying dildo? This would not have heppened in Soviet days. Moose and squirrel!" posted by DecemberBoy at 5:21 PM on May 19, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]
This is lowest of the Fark posts ever posted here, not even middle school, grammar school, almost a duty joke..... posted by caddis at 5:29 PM on May 19, 2008
Bunnytricks, I have never before laughed at a Metafilter comment so hard. Thank you. posted by adamdschneider at 5:32 PM on May 19, 2008
40+ comments in, and no one's used "helicockter" yet? Well, allow me.
Words fail me. That is perhaps the perfect prank. posted by Schlimmbesserung at 5:38 PM on May 19, 2008
Translation (a bit too literal, quickly thrown together):
At the start of the dong flight Kasparov is talking about respect towards one's political opponents and their opinions. After the successful swatting:
Kasparov: "I think we have to be thankful for the opposition's demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate. Also, apparently most of their arguments are located beneath the belt." Someone in the audience: "Finally the political power shows its face!" Kasparov: "Well, if that's its face..." Everyone laughs. posted by Shusha at 5:41 PM on May 19, 2008 [31 favorites has favorites]
I bet he just wanted to ignore it and do nothing, as almost any response would make him look foolish, but the dickcopter pilot placed him in zugzwang. Get it? ZugzWANG!!!!! posted by Falconetti at 5:48 PM on May 19, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]
I think it's time we faced up to the facts: We may actually be in a Robert Anton Wilson novel. posted by xchmp at 5:48 PM on May 19, 2008 [15 favorites has favorites]
I'm looking forward to seeing how the campaign is going to spin this. posted by mek at 5:59 PM on May 19, 2008
Kasparov spelled sideways is sak vapor! posted by subgear at 6:00 PM on May 19, 2008
I don't think he wanted to ignore it at all. Everyone is fairly amused and he just takes a moment to come up with a few jokes. One thing that makes me hopeful for Russia is its people unyielding sense of humour.
But I have to say that when I saw "Kasparov" and "breaking news" in one post my heart skipped because I thought it would be news of assassination attempt. Thank the flying penises it was only one of them! posted by Shusha at 6:01 PM on May 19, 2008
It's a great prank, but I don't get it. What's the critique of Kasparov? posted by serazin at 6:19 PM on May 19, 2008
There's a "King's bishop to ..." joke in there somewhere, but unfortunately I'm not a chess geek. Anyone? posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:29 PM on May 19, 2008
"King's bishop to flying penis" posted by DoctorFedora at 6:37 PM on May 19, 2008
Thanks for the translation shusha!
I used to know someone who pronounced "helicopter" "helicockter" (in Dutch, but it doesn't make much of a difference for this word). Then again, this was the kid a block down I always used to play doctor with when I was twelve, so there.
Also, is this the point in history where we can finally start referring to the act of forcefully rebuking our more powerful political opponents as "cockswatting"?
Holy shit, goodnewsfortheinsane and I independently made comments featuring the word "cockswat" during the same minute. I'm utterly cocksmacked. posted by redteam at 7:05 PM on May 19, 2008
I just hope Make Magazine builds one of these in the next issue.
I want to build one. The only problem is, I'm way too shy to walk into a store and buy a dildo, and I certainly don't want to end up on whatever lists online purveyors of dildos would sell my email address to. Plus, I can't quite tell how one would enable turning left or right. Some sort of rudder attached to the balls? posted by DecemberBoy at 7:37 PM on May 19, 2008
In other words, I'm going to be singing it in my head to the tune of "The Irish Washerwoman" for the next three weeks. Thanks a lot. posted by nebulawindphone at 7:57 PM on May 19, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]
I don't think he wanted to ignore it at all.
I agree. I only said that to be able to set up a "zugzwang" joke. How often does one get that chance? posted by Falconetti at 7:57 PM on May 19, 2008
I can't believe that 65 comments down that I had to wade out to the newswires to find out what this was all about, but here it is. In short:
The first meeting on Saturday of a "National Assembly" organized by the Other Russia opposition coalition featured calls for a strong challenge to the current government, while demonstrating much of the disarray that often plagues the Kremlin's opponents ..... Garry Kasparov, one of the leaders of The Other Russia, didn't arrive himself until noon. ..... A couple of pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists added to the commotion at the event by launching plastic phallus on propellers, which were knocked out of the air by security guards.
There are no words for this. Truly, there are not. For think, what could you possibly say to a remote-controlled dildocopter flying through the air during your own press conference?
take off every dick - move dick for great justice posted by pyramid termite at 9:18 PM on May 19, 2008
On a second watch, it's interesting to see the bodyguard who smacked the penis copter go into action. And soon afterwards, he's standing in that same guard position, seemingly re-adjusting his...what? =) posted by rmmcclay at 12:01 AM on May 20, 2008
Dude in the red shirt is the biggest cockblocker I've ever seen.
Sure, it's all fun and games until someone gets his eye put out. posted by moonbiter at 3:59 AM on May 20, 2008
Is it bad that the first thing I thought of was "clever builder making it coaxial, the tailrotor sticking out of the head would have ruined the effect" ? posted by Skorgu at 5:24 AM on May 20, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]
I'm just amazed at how stable it was in the air. Who knew that a penis would be so aerodynamically sound.
I can't wait to see this new information incorporated by aircraft engineers world-wide. posted by quin at 8:32 AM on May 20, 2008
Who knew that a penis would be so aerodynamically sound.
cortex's mom posted by dersins at 9:06 AM on May 20, 2008
In Soviet Russia, you do not fly penis, penis flies you! posted by jonp72 at 9:53 AM on May 20, 2008
Dude didn't hit it hard enough to make the candy come out!
No, no, no. Rub it, or lick it. Then the candy comes out. ;) posted by Schlimmbesserung at 11:04 AM on May 20, 2008
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