Comments on: Griefing comes to First Life

Griefing comes to First Life

thirteenkiller — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:07:02 -0800

BREAKING NEWS: Kasparov assailed by flying dong. Possible inspiration

By: thirteenkiller

thirteenkiller — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:08:15 -0800

That's the world's first flying dildo to be made entirely of polonium

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:11:41 -0800

Spassky, you scalliwag. You countered Kasparov's Gaping Opening with your own Forceful Flying Thrust!

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:14:30 -0800

OOh... oh God... I'm dying here! That... it's... I mean... and then the security guy swats it out of the air... OK, I just now caught my breath. Thanks so much for this. I don't care if it's juvenile, this is the funniest goddamn thing I've seen all year.

By: dersins

dersins — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:15:06 -0800

GIVE US A BREAK YOU FUCKS!

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:18:11 -0800

I don't know Sir, but it looks like a HUGE...

By: loquacious

loquacious — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:19:32 -0800

That's fucking magnificent. Incredible.

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:21:38 -0800

I'm trying to imagine how the Secret Service would deal with this at a McCain rally. Significant amounts of leaping and machine-gun fire methinks.

By: callmejay

callmejay — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:21:53 -0800

I'm just happy that breaking news about Kasparov is not his assassination.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:22:53 -0800

The secret service would have McCain offstage as soon as the whining noise was heard.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:23:52 -0800

That security guy is lucky. Had this not been post-Soviet Russia, that dong would have slapped him.

By: Tube

Tube — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:25:37 -0800

A novel method of getting it up.

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:27:02 -0800

Beats pie-throwing, that's for damn sure.

By: Floydd

Floydd — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:27:04 -0800

There's been a bit of a cock-up on the press conference front.

By: 7segment

7segment — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:27:33 -0800

Livebookmarked: http://www.metafilter.com/tags/dong/rss

By: bunnytricks

bunnytricks — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:30:59 -0800

This reminds me of that story from the second continental congress where Jefferson's skittering clockwork vagina snagged Ben Franklin's shoe buckle.

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:31:02 -0800

image

By: Tube

Tube — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:33:43 -0800

Get to da choppa!!!

By: Rhaomi

Rhaomi — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:34:39 -0800

At first I watched the video without sound, and thought the dong was being lowered on a string. This was mildly funny. Then I watched it again with sound, and realized it was on a little propeller. Gary Kasparov, chess grandmaster, leader of the Russian progressive movement, accosted by a screeching peniscopter. I lol'd. I lol'd hard. Screamers has nothing on this.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:35:04 -0800

Oh my God.. that... I actually lol'ed. Seriously. Out loud.

By: CitizenD

CitizenD — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:37:11 -0800

neo wouldn't have had nearly as difficult a time rescuing morpheus if he'd had that chopper. plus, how fun would it be to see morpheus clinging to the end of a ginormous clipped schlong? pretty darn fun, i think.

By: danb

danb — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:41:35 -0800

Motion to make "whaBAM" the official subtitle of the eventual dong-swat screencap.

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:43:31 -0800

That looks just like my penis, only smaller. And capable of sustained flight.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:44:20 -0800

I am truly stuck, mentally, at thirteen years old. That made my afternoon!

By: revmitcz

revmitcz — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:45:00 -0800

And to think I just finished watching Steve Ballmer getting egged and thought "how'd he get eggs past security, esp. with a shirt like that?". I'm now forced to ask no one in particular "how do you get a remote-controlled heli-dildo past security?". Sometimes, people rule.

By: zippy

zippy — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:47:53 -0800

What was Kasparov speaking about (and what was his, ah, comeback?) And what are the odds someone in the the Soviet government did this to make him look foolish?

By: zippy

zippy — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:48:13 -0800

~~Soviet~~ Russian

By: dobbs

dobbs — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:49:21 -0800

Wow. Neat if only to find out that emelenjr's penis looks just like my penis only small. And isn't capable of sustained flight.

By: HighTechUnderpants

HighTechUnderpants — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:55:05 -0800

I laughed pretty hard. What was the point, though?

By: Tube

Tube — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:57:07 -0800

Electile Dysfunction.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:03:05 -0800

thirteenkiller: "That's the world's first flying dildo to be made entirely of polonium" I I beg to differ. That was made entirely out of LOLtonium.

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:03:17 -0800

OK then. I ignored this post until just now. Why do I care that someone threw a fake dong at Kasparov? Bored, I finally clicked. LOL! I, too, LOLed. Out loud. I hope a translation turns up. Kasparov is a smart and witty man, and I'd love to hear what he said. I also would like to know what went through that security dude's mind when he startled. AH! FLYING DONG!!!! GET IT!!!

By: lalochezia

lalochezia — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:05:52 -0800

Electile Dysfunction. Not japan. Lussia!

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:06:07 -0800

How the fuck, with 50 cameras, did they get such a shitty shot of the flying penis? Jesus, it a FLYING FAKE PENIS, CAMERA DUDES! Do your jobs and cover the story!

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:10:43 -0800

I also would like to know what went through that security dude's mind when he startled. AH! FLYING DONG!!!! GET IT!!! Me too. It seems like when he first hears the noise, he immediately thinks "oh shit, we're being attacked somehow", then he sees what it is and is at least somewhat amused, especially if you look at the still image. This story will undoubtedly be passed down in his family for generations. "Kids, did I ever tell you about the time your grandfather swatted a heli-dildo out of the air?"

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:12:26 -0800

Haven't had much time for flying lessons, dobbs, what with all the sex.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:21:30 -0800

Check out the guy to the left of security-guy in the still photo. He just has a look of total disgust for him on his face. "Is flying dildo. Security cannot even control flying dildo? This would not have heppened in Soviet days. Moose and squirrel!"

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:22:41 -0800

On the other, the people behind this are supporting the suppression of political opposition and facilitating the rebirth of an authoritarian superpower. On the other, LULZ. So I'm torn.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:23:35 -0800

Remotely-controlled flying dick

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:26:22 -0800

When comrade loves a chess player very much...

By: caddis

caddis — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:29:00 -0800

This is lowest of the Fark posts ever posted here, not even middle school, grammar school, almost a duty joke.....

By: adamdschneider

adamdschneider — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:32:12 -0800

Bunnytricks, I have never before laughed at a Metafilter comment so hard. Thank you.

By: revmitcz

revmitcz — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:35:38 -0800

40+ comments in, and no one's used "helicockter" yet? Well, allow me. Helicockter.

By: Schlimmbesserung

Schlimmbesserung — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:38:37 -0800

Words fail me. That is perhaps the perfect prank.

By: Shusha

Shusha — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:41:38 -0800

Translation (a bit too literal, quickly thrown together): At the start of the dong flight Kasparov is talking about respect towards one's political opponents and their opinions. After the successful swatting: Kasparov: "I think we have to be thankful for the opposition's demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate. Also, apparently most of their arguments are located beneath the belt." Someone in the audience: "Finally the political power shows its face!" Kasparov: "Well, if that's its face..." Everyone laughs.

By: Jody Tresidder

Jody Tresidder — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:45:48 -0800

Grandmaster Flash?

By: Falconetti

Falconetti — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:48:01 -0800

I bet he just wanted to ignore it and do nothing, as almost any response would make him look foolish, but the dickcopter pilot placed him in zugzwang. Get it? ZugzWANG!!!!!

By: xchmp

xchmp — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:48:09 -0800

I think it's time we faced up to the facts: We may actually be in a Robert Anton Wilson novel.

By: mek

mek — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:59:26 -0800

I'm looking forward to seeing how the campaign is going to spin this.

By: subgear

subgear — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:00:34 -0800

Kasparov spelled sideways is sak vapor!

By: Shusha

Shusha — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:01:50 -0800

I don't think he wanted to ignore it at all. Everyone is fairly amused and he just takes a moment to come up with a few jokes. One thing that makes me hopeful for Russia is its people unyielding sense of humour. But I have to say that when I saw "Kasparov" and "breaking news" in one post my heart skipped because I thought it would be news of assassination attempt. Thank the flying penises it was only one of them!

By: serazin

serazin — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:19:13 -0800

It's a great prank, but I don't get it. What's the critique of Kasparov?

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:29:13 -0800

There's a "King's bishop to ..." joke in there somewhere, but unfortunately I'm not a chess geek. Anyone?

By: optovox

optovox — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:36:04 -0800

Dong threatens King; Knight takes Dong.

By: DoctorFedora

DoctorFedora — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:37:27 -0800

"King's bishop to flying penis"

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:50:04 -0800

Thanks for the translation shusha! I used to know someone who pronounced "helicopter" "helicockter" (in Dutch, but it doesn't make much of a difference for this word). Then again, this was the kid a block down I always used to play doctor with when I was twelve, so there. Also, is this the point in history where we can finally start referring to the act of forcefully rebuking our more powerful political opponents as "cockswatting"? Please?

By: redteam

redteam — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:50:09 -0800

Cockswat at 0:40

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:51:54 -0800

I just hope Make Magazine builds one of these in the next issue.

By: Sailormom

Sailormom — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:53:38 -0800

We must not allow a flying dong gap!!

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:57:51 -0800

THIS. IS. PARLIAAAA ...ment.

By: redteam

redteam — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:05:21 -0800

Holy shit, goodnewsfortheinsane and I independently made comments featuring the word "cockswat" during the same minute. I'm utterly cocksmacked.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:37:17 -0800

I just hope Make Magazine builds one of these in the next issue. I want to build one. The only problem is, I'm way too shy to walk into a store and buy a dildo, and I certainly don't want to end up on whatever lists online purveyors of dildos would sell my email address to. Plus, I can't quite tell how one would enable turning left or right. Some sort of rudder attached to the balls?

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:40:13 -0800

Metafilter: Some sort of rudder attached to the balls

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:57:34 -0800

Jefferson's skittering clockwork vagina scans pretty nicely. In other words, I'm going to be singing it in my head to the tune of "The Irish Washerwoman" for the next three weeks. Thanks a lot.

By: Falconetti

Falconetti — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:57:57 -0800

I don't think he wanted to ignore it at all. I agree. I only said that to be able to set up a "zugzwang" joke. How often does one get that chance?

By: crapmatic

crapmatic — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:11:59 -0800

I can't believe that 65 comments down that I had to wade out to the newswires to find out what this was all about, but here it is. In short: The first meeting on Saturday of a "National Assembly" organized by the Other Russia opposition coalition featured calls for a strong challenge to the current government, while demonstrating much of the disarray that often plagues the Kremlin's opponents ..... Garry Kasparov, one of the leaders of The Other Russia, didn't arrive himself until noon. ..... A couple of pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists added to the commotion at the event by launching plastic phallus on propellers, which were knocked out of the air by security guards.

By: Space Kitty

Space Kitty — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:13:12 -0800

oh god. still laughing.

By: Krrrlson

Krrrlson — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:40:27 -0800

At last, a true ROFLcopter.

By: hjo3

hjo3 — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:43:22 -0800

Plus, I can't quite tell how one would enable turning left or right. Some sort of rudder attached to the balls? It appears to be coaxial, so you could turn it by slowing one rotor but not the other.

By: cmyk

cmyk — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:49:48 -0800

Clearly someone wanted to protect him from evil spirits. This is gonna be funny for a while.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:56:33 -0800

Somebody set up Kasparov the dong.

By: Reth_Eldirood

Reth_Eldirood — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:17:49 -0800

There are no words for this. Truly, there are not. For think, what could you possibly say to a remote-controlled dildocopter flying through the air during your own press conference? Even Churchill would have been stumped for response.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:18:47 -0800

take off every dick - move dick for great justice

By: rmmcclay

rmmcclay — Tue, 20 May 2008 00:01:48 -0800

On a second watch, it's interesting to see the bodyguard who smacked the penis copter go into action. And soon afterwards, he's standing in that same guard position, seemingly re-adjusting his...what? =)

By: Anything

Anything — Tue, 20 May 2008 01:06:31 -0800

Dude in the red shirt is the biggest cockblocker I've ever seen.

-- DaXIthR on Evil Avatar forums

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:02:50 -0800

Grandmaster Flash? Grandmaster Flush.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:11:19 -0800

No, wait: Grandmaster Flesh!

By: jbickers

jbickers — Tue, 20 May 2008 03:05:00 -0800

Dude didn't hit it hard enough to make the candy come out!

By: moonbiter

moonbiter — Tue, 20 May 2008 03:59:41 -0800

Sure, it's all fun and games until someone gets his eye put out.

By: Skorgu

Skorgu — Tue, 20 May 2008 05:24:28 -0800

Is it bad that the first thing I thought of was "clever builder making it coaxial, the tailrotor sticking out of the head would have ruined the effect" ?

By: quin

quin — Tue, 20 May 2008 08:32:20 -0800

I'm just amazed at how stable it was in the air. Who knew that a penis would be so aerodynamically sound. I can't wait to see this new information incorporated by aircraft engineers world-wide.

By: dersins

dersins — Tue, 20 May 2008 09:06:29 -0800

Who knew that a penis would be so aerodynamically sound. cortex's mom

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Tue, 20 May 2008 09:53:25 -0800

In Soviet Russia, you do not fly penis, penis flies you!

By: Schlimmbesserung

Schlimmbesserung — Tue, 20 May 2008 11:04:44 -0800

Dude didn't hit it hard enough to make the candy come out! No, no, no. Rub it, or lick it. Then the candy comes out. ;)