I Get Back Up
May 21, 2008 1:22 AM Subscribe
The Stuntman ― Pain is only an illusion. Go ahead, hit as hard as you can. Stand up you fool.
This post was deleted for the following reason: kinda sucks as a webgame flash thing -- mathowie
Seems they're trying to sell you a deodorant called Rexona. Apparently it makes you feel like you've been thrown against a wall and dropped onto a car from a great height. I gotta get me some a that!
posted by kcds at 3:17 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by kcds at 3:17 AM on May 21, 2008
kinda weaksauce, the game is more frustrating than fun
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 3:21 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 3:21 AM on May 21, 2008
That was rubbish. How do you prove that your "Wild Side" is strong enough? They give you three keys, which don't seem to work in combination, and the stupid "get up, dust yourself off" takes forever.
Someone care to explain?
posted by djgh at 3:23 AM on May 21, 2008
Someone care to explain?
posted by djgh at 3:23 AM on May 21, 2008
That really seemed like it was going to be entertaining.
I should have known better.
posted by dersins at 3:26 AM on May 21, 2008
I should have known better.
posted by dersins at 3:26 AM on May 21, 2008
I've had so much fun since I installed the debug version of flash player and keep a tail -F on the logs.
I can tell the Spanish speaking "game" designers/coders were very excited working on this game, the traces are like:
posted by Dataphage at 3:27 AM on May 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
I can tell the Spanish speaking "game" designers/coders were very excited working on this game, the traces are like:
cabeceo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! true ANTESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS: 487 - 349.25 DESPUESSSSSSSSSSSSSS: 519 - 349.25That was the funniest part. This advertisement sucks.
posted by Dataphage at 3:27 AM on May 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
I can't believe companies spend so much on presentation then forget to hire a game coder. That could've been fantastic with some simple physics to let you genuinely fling him around and break stuff.
posted by malevolent at 4:13 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by malevolent at 4:13 AM on May 21, 2008
By the time it said "start" I'd already driven to the beach, kicked sand in some weakling's face, had a PowerBuilder shake and a balanced dinner, and gotten back in time for the digital trash cans to fall down.
Yikes.
posted by Dizzy at 4:32 AM on May 21, 2008
Yikes.
posted by Dizzy at 4:32 AM on May 21, 2008
I see. You can throw him left into the wall, or right into the car. Game over.
posted by unSane at 5:26 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by unSane at 5:26 AM on May 21, 2008
Your platform is weak. You are not ready to design an actual game.
posted by es_de_bah at 5:48 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by es_de_bah at 5:48 AM on May 21, 2008
you can get him through the window too. fun for about 3 seconds.
posted by nitsuj at 5:49 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by nitsuj at 5:49 AM on May 21, 2008
I want to make him bleed.
posted by Debaser626 at 5:57 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by Debaser626 at 5:57 AM on May 21, 2008
He looks like Lorenzo Lamas, kinda. That kept me throwing him around for about ten seconds longer than I might otherwise have.
In other news: No.
posted by Pecinpah at 6:02 AM on May 21, 2008
In other news: No.
posted by Pecinpah at 6:02 AM on May 21, 2008
Let us all piss on this game. It deserves to be pissed upon because it is so bad. And pointless.
Pillage the Village is a game that has at its core the same "throw people around with your cursor" mechanic. It is, however, more fun. (That ain't saying much - "The Stunt Man" is shit. But PtV is definitely fun.) Also, the little green-clad villagers will sometimes break their legs after landing, and they'll moan in agony as they desperately attempt to crawl away from your doom-bringing hand.
STAND UP YOU FOOL! *splatch*
posted by WalterMitty at 6:07 AM on May 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Pillage the Village is a game that has at its core the same "throw people around with your cursor" mechanic. It is, however, more fun. (That ain't saying much - "The Stunt Man" is shit. But PtV is definitely fun.) Also, the little green-clad villagers will sometimes break their legs after landing, and they'll moan in agony as they desperately attempt to crawl away from your doom-bringing hand.
STAND UP YOU FOOL! *splatch*
posted by WalterMitty at 6:07 AM on May 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Dude. Pillage the village is rad....
'course... the classic of the genre is that game where you sit a guy on top of a truck and smash it into a wall. Truck Dismount... Not a flash game, but pretty much the best game ever. (Although some historians feel that the author's other game, Stair Dismount, is better... )
posted by ph00dz at 7:28 AM on May 21, 2008
'course... the classic of the genre is that game where you sit a guy on top of a truck and smash it into a wall. Truck Dismount... Not a flash game, but pretty much the best game ever. (Although some historians feel that the author's other game, Stair Dismount, is better... )
posted by ph00dz at 7:28 AM on May 21, 2008
I wish there was more time in the game so I could make him get run over some more.
Good times.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:29 AM on May 21, 2008
Good times.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:29 AM on May 21, 2008
Pain is only an illusion.
This was clearly said by someone who has never stubbed their little toe while walking to the bathroom, half-awake, in the middle of the night.
posted by quin at 8:05 AM on May 21, 2008
This was clearly said by someone who has never stubbed their little toe while walking to the bathroom, half-awake, in the middle of the night.
posted by quin at 8:05 AM on May 21, 2008
Pepsi blew!!
No good. There's no game here. F for effort.
no offense, but netbros, did you actually try playing the game before posting?
posted by MythMaker at 8:52 AM on May 21, 2008
No good. There's no game here. F for effort.
no offense, but netbros, did you actually try playing the game before posting?
posted by MythMaker at 8:52 AM on May 21, 2008
Ok, that sucked. If you hit TAB after you throw him somewhere, and then hit spacebar, a new guy appears but you can't do anything with him other than make him convulse like he's having a seizure until the original version of him comes back to be pointlessly tossed against one of the three walls.
posted by rooftop secrets at 9:54 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by rooftop secrets at 9:54 AM on May 21, 2008
As said above, some basic physics could have taken this from "meh" to "freakin' awesome." I wasted at least a minute trying to get different trajectories, velocities, targets, anything. Nope. Just four pre-programmed actions.
posted by lekvar at 10:27 AM on May 21, 2008
posted by lekvar at 10:27 AM on May 21, 2008
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posted by knowles at 3:00 AM on May 21, 2008 [1 favorite]