Comments on: The Dude abides

The Dude abides

Artw — Thu, 29 May 2008 23:50:56 -0800

How to make the worst White Russian ever. That's what you get for asking for cocktail at some super square looking business hotel adjacent to an exhibition center. Ok, ok, here's how to make a nice one. Ooh it looks like Jupiter. Try one hot. Teeny tiny Kahlua drinks. Do NOT cook pork in it. Oh, okay, go ahead. Make you own kahlua. It won't be as pretty as this. While we're adding coffee to booze why not add booze to coffee.

By: finite

finite — Fri, 30 May 2008 00:17:20 -0800

Dunno about you, but I take comfort in those words.

By: sirvesa

sirvesa — Fri, 30 May 2008 00:30:53 -0800

Nothing wrong with some irish coffee. The bartender at the buena vista makes about eight of the things at a time. Yum!

By: aspo

aspo — Fri, 30 May 2008 00:39:38 -0800

Once, back when I was much poorer and much stupider I wanted a drink, and yet the only thing I had was cheap semi warm vodka which I really didn't want to drink straight. No mixers, not nothing. But, being the no-so-bright boy that I was I figured, hey, I've got some milk, and vodka + milk is 2/3rds of a white russian, that's gotta be better than luke warm cheap vodka, right? I can't being to describe how wrong I was.

By: agress

agress — Fri, 30 May 2008 00:41:20 -0800

Make you own kahlua. It won't be as pretty as this. So, I assume the reason that mine won't look as good as that is because I can't take a Micrograph of it? Bollocks, I say! Mine will be ever so beautiful, it will blind the proletariat masses with its brilliance! But of course you're right, I can't compare to Mexican craftsmanship. =( If you want a really good white Russian, try me! At least I think I'm really good... God damn that's the lamest joke ever =( Needless to say, I approve of this post whole-heartedly, comrade! Now, back to important business (drinking.)

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 30 May 2008 00:42:01 -0800

Tequilla + coffee is suprisingly non-disgusting.

By: sourwookie

sourwookie — Fri, 30 May 2008 01:16:26 -0800

Um: Coffee-Mate non-dairy coffee creamer mixed with Folger's and Barton vodka. Simple enough.

By: Hogshead

Hogshead — Fri, 30 May 2008 01:38:45 -0800

Can't be worse than the hotel barman in Malta which, when asked for a gin martini, gave me a glass of Martini Rosso with a shot of gin in it.

By: RokkitNite

RokkitNite — Fri, 30 May 2008 02:08:56 -0800

Coffee-flavoured booze seems like a great idea until you stagger out of bed the next morning and reach for the cafetiere.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 30 May 2008 03:01:56 -0800

Using milk instead of cream is a sin against god and you should sent to the Gulag forthwith. Just about all booze goes with coffee. I used to know someone drink whiskey and milk. That's a whole heap of wrong. And as an aside the Cohen's latest comedy looks genius.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 30 May 2008 03:10:55 -0800

ehh...white russians....black russians.....meh. I'm lactose intolerant, for one...and for two...those are kiddy drinks. How's about you find out what your liquor really tastes like?

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 30 May 2008 03:11:50 -0800

Oh...and, yes, I AM drunk, thank you very much!

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 30 May 2008 03:34:03 -0800

My favorite winter drink: Two shots of espresso, unsweetened cocoa powder, milk, and Frangelico to taste. I call it a Slippery Nutella.

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Fri, 30 May 2008 04:02:18 -0800

Mmmmmmmm. White Russian. And, if you do them right, The Light Fantastic, you can taste each ingredient perfectly well while appreciating the amazing melange swirling across your tongue. And the trailer had me laughing. Artw, curse you! Now I need to go liquor shopping this weekend.

By: kothar

kothar — Fri, 30 May 2008 05:17:17 -0800

How to make the worst Black Russian ever: 1. Make half a glass of white russian 2. Top up with cola. I wasn't that impressed, I have to say.

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Fri, 30 May 2008 05:38:53 -0800

Needs more miracle fruit.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Fri, 30 May 2008 05:44:39 -0800

It's a mistake to order a cocktail in any country where the bars keep their ice in one of those little 1950's ornamental ice buckets and use tongs to carefully pluck up each precious cube.

By: Uther Bentrazor

Uther Bentrazor — Fri, 30 May 2008 06:33:35 -0800

I'm all for the make your own kahlua, and I'm eager to try it myself, but, instant coffee? Really? I haven't bought instant coffee in about 7 years, would it bollocks it up if I used real coffee instead?

By: anansi

anansi — Fri, 30 May 2008 06:54:41 -0800

and for two...those are kiddy drinks. How's about you find out what your liquor really tastes like? This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.

By: Kinbote

Kinbote — Fri, 30 May 2008 07:12:55 -0800

This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man. You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Fri, 30 May 2008 07:17:49 -0800

Careful, man - there's a beverage here!

By: Ragma

Ragma — Fri, 30 May 2008 07:38:53 -0800

"would it bollocks it up if I used real coffee instead?" I suspect it would, going by the recipe. If you used brewed coffee it would end up tasting too watered down in the final mix. And if you tried to "reduce" the brewed coffee like a pan sauce you'd end up with burned coffee. But you might be able to use brewed coffee instead of water to make the simple syrup.

By: owhydididoit

owhydididoit — Fri, 30 May 2008 07:40:25 -0800

Clearly I need to start drinking again.

By: hellphish

hellphish — Fri, 30 May 2008 07:48:27 -0800

Substitute toddy for instant coffee, that should work.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Fri, 30 May 2008 07:58:56 -0800

Worst White Russian that I ever had: on the roof of the Peabody Hotel in Memphis. I order one, start to take a sip, look closer at the lip of the glass, take it back to the bartender, and tell her that I was pretty sure that it wasn't a clean glass because of the lipstick prints on it. She rolls her eyes at me, takes a clean glass, and dumps the drink from the dirty glass into the clean one.

By: nosila

nosila — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:00:09 -0800

I wanted to add a bit of love to a glass of Johnny Walker Red I poured. I distractedly (uh-oh!) reached into the fridge and pulled out what I thought was peach mango juice. (Yes, I had already had a couple.) I poured it and it was...white... "Hmm," thought I, "why don't I just add some kahlua and give 'er a go?" Delicious! A twist on a twist with a twist! Made me twist right there in my little ol' apartment. Course, I was kinda drunk...

By: rokusan

rokusan — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:25:20 -0800

I popped in to make the obligatory Lebowski reference, only to find the inner title. I am now disappointed.

By: pallaoro

pallaoro — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:33:26 -0800

I feel I have to learn more about what to drink!

By: laumry

laumry — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:33:46 -0800

I popped in to make the obligatory Lebowski reference, only to find the inner title. I am now disappointed. Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:08:09 -0800

I remember going through a period as a student of just about main-lining Black Russians but made with Tia Maria and coke; happy days.

By: lysistrata

lysistrata — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:26:00 -0800

Everyone in my family is getting homemade coffee liqueur for Christmas this year. Thanks for the recipe! (Also, White Russians are not kiddy drinks. They're girl drinks. Be careful you don't end up girl drink drunk.)

By: solipsophistocracy

solipsophistocracy — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:28:02 -0800

My favorite bar offered a drink with some foolish name that was a White Russian with a finger of Jack Daniels and a splash of cola. I thought that sounded disgusting, and told the bartender so. He made me one on the house, and it was so good that I drank two more.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:29:33 -0800

Now I need to go liquor shopping this weekend. My work is done.

By: deanc

deanc — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:30:08 -0800

ehh...white russians....black russians.....meh. I'm lactose intolerant, for one...and for two...those are kiddy drinks. The Dude is secure enough in his adulthood and masculinity to order a White Russian.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:41:38 -0800

Instant I've heard of camp coffee being used. I've never actually encountered camp coffee, but it sounds weird.

By: nanojath

nanojath — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:41:50 -0800

Man, when the wife and I honeymooned in Hawaii one of the places we stayed had this Kona-based coffee liqueur... Oh man. Speaking of which, make your own recipe with real coffee. Instant coffee, ewww.

By: nanojath

nanojath — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:44:27 -0800

I think it was this one, actually.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:56:34 -0800

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:59:55 -0800

Girl Drink Drunk

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:05:20 -0800

Also, White Russians are not kiddy drinks. They're girl drinks. Not only am I sufficiently secure in my masculinity to drink White Russians, I'll drink Snowballs too. I've never actually encountered camp coffee, but it sounds weird. I remember, years ago, my gran drinking that... seemed to remember it was nice and I didn't even really like coffee then. It was a bit weird though (and of course, racist)

By: lysistrata

lysistrata — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:05:52 -0800

Y'know, I'm sick to fucking death of people saying X is a 'kiddy' drink (or worse, girly). Does it taste good? Yes? Then fucking drink it and stop judging. You don't see people calling, say, hot dogs 'kiddy' food--everyone loves hot dogs. Fuck. Oh please. I mentioned it being a "girl drink" to set up the link to the Kids in the Hall sketch. Have a drink and relax. I personally love white russians. Then again, I am a girl.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:07:30 -0800

fearfulsymmetry - that last link seems to be off.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:08:47 -0800

lysistrata - oops.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:17:44 -0800

fearfulsymmetry - that last link seems to be off. Hmm seems ok to me; Daily Mail, may be Brit only... here's the same story at another source

By: quin

quin — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:21:24 -0800

Y'know, I'm sick to fucking death of people saying X is a 'kiddy' drink (or worse, girly). I drink three fingers of Jack Daniels, straight. No ice, no water, no chaser. From my mountain top, everything else seems like a girly kiddy drink. Of course, after a few of these I stumble around a bit and then fall down. My mountain top needs a couch and a railing.

By: peewinkle

peewinkle — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:24:24 -0800

MILK? CREAM? Wow. The proper liquid to use for a White/Black Russian, or "Kahula and Cream" is Half-And-Half.........

By: OverlappingElvis

OverlappingElvis — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:27:35 -0800

The way to make the worst White Russian ever is to use non-dairy creamer. It might sound like a good idea at the time, but it isn't.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:33:11 -0800

fearfulsymmetry - I like the Daily Mail style comments: "I think this is PC gone stark raving bonkers, If it had been a White Man serving an Indian, I doubt that the protests would have been quite as bad." Of course, I kind of miss the old PG Tips box art.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 30 May 2008 13:24:33 -0800

Y'know, I'm sick to fucking death of people saying X is a 'kiddy' drink (or worse, girly). Does it taste good? Yes? Then fucking drink it and stop judging. You don't see people calling, say, hot dogs 'kiddy' food--everyone loves hot dogs. Fuck. I see I hit a nerve... But I really don't like them very much, evil lactose notwithstanding. And, you have to admit, it's one of those "starter" drinks that kids drink when they don't like the taste of alcohol.

By: nanojath

nanojath — Fri, 30 May 2008 13:53:03 -0800

The way to make the worst White Russian ever is to use non-dairy creamer. It might sound like a good idea at the time, but it isn't. Let me tell you a story about the time we noticed that the bin of store-brand powdered non-dairy creamer had instructions for how to transform it into something allegedly akin to whipped cream... We shudder at the thought of the evil foam we named "whipped creamer" to this day...

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:13:49 -0800

aspo writes "But, being the no-so-bright boy that I was I figured, hey, I've got some milk, and vodka + milk is 2/3rds of a white russian, that's gotta be better than luke warm cheap vodka, right? I can't being to describe how wrong I was." That's what alcoholics on the down slope drink, in the morning. You may also substitute scotch for vodka. If you have halfway decent vodka (and you aren't nursing DTs and a stomach ulcer), drink it on the rocks, maybe with a twist of lemon. If you have cheap vodka, nearly any sort of juice and/or citrus-type soda will do as a mixer. I don't drink anymore, but when I did, I didn't mess around. I never got to the "scotch and milk stage," but I knew people who were there. Good vodka on the rocks is much better.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:17:03 -0800

dirtynumbangelboy writes "Y'know, I'm sick to fucking death of people saying X is a 'kiddy' drink (or worse, girly). Does it taste good? Yes? Then fucking drink it and stop judging. You don't see people calling, say, hot dogs 'kiddy' food--everyone loves hot dogs. Fuck." Depends on the bar. One bar where I worked, we didn't own a blender. If you ordered a blended drink, we'd usually laugh in your face (as did the regulars). If that hurt your feelings, well, it was probably never going to work out anyway.

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:01:33 -0800

My g/f likes Tia Maria instead of Kalhua in her black russian. I have to say, it's pretty damn good. The Dude is secure enough in his adulthood and masculinity to order a White Russian. Fuck'n A. Though I still prefer 'em black.

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:03:27 -0800

As a matter of fact... it IS about that time.

By: misskaz

misskaz — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:44:22 -0800

Where was this post 4 months ago? White Russians are a winter drink. Today it is finally, finally decently warm out and I'm having a grapefruit mojito. Dammit.

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Fri, 30 May 2008 18:49:08 -0800

You don't see people calling, say, hot dogs 'kiddy' food--everyone loves hot dogs. Vegans love hot dogs? Nah.

By: emperor.seamus

emperor.seamus — Fri, 30 May 2008 19:02:12 -0800

However square that place looks, I'm fairly sure I went to an anime convention there back in the days of my youth. Gotta be pretty cool to have one of those!

By: billyfleetwood

billyfleetwood — Sat, 31 May 2008 20:27:04 -0800

> She rolls her eyes at me, takes a clean glass, and dumps the drink from the dirty glass into the clean one. Well, the drink wasn't dirty,the glass was! Once at a dive bar I used to frequent, a tourist had the gall to return his drink to the bartender claiming it was "too strong." The bartender picked it up, slugged back half and slid it back across the bar, and said "should be fine now." ...what the bartender knew that you didn't, is that heavy lipsticks are impervious to whatever automatic washing and sterilizing apparatus most bars employ. A hearty lipstick has to be hand scrubbed off, and that's not gonna happen in the middle of a shift. The bartender's way of communicating this, however, is a matter of taste... As to the question of the "kiddy nature" of liqeurs, I refer to The Playboy Host and Bar Book -Thomas Mario, 1971. There are still muleheaded men around who think that liquers, because they're sweet should only be served when the light of love is present. In 1601, John Rudolph Glauber in his Description of New Philosophical Furnaces pointed out that his "Cordial Extract," among other things, "refreshes the spirits and corroborates the brains and other parts of the body." Any man whose parts may be in need of a good corroboration should drink a moderate quantity of green Chartreuse to find out just how virile a liqueur can be.

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 02:32:36 -0800

Grapefruit mojito? Nice idea.