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Vintage Girly Magazines
May 31, 2008 4:53 PM   Subscribe

Vintage Girly Magazines is a blog devoted to nude photography from the era before Photoshop and breast implants. NSFW.

My own personal favorites. (Also NSFW)
posted by jason's_planet (62 comments total) 49 users marked this as a favorite

 
My own personal favorites.

Nice pineapple.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 4:59 PM on May 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


She's old enough to be your great-grandmother!
posted by mrnutty at 5:00 PM on May 31, 2008


Gramma?
posted by jonmc at 5:03 PM on May 31, 2008


(also, your personal favorite is the same tuchus twice. But it is a superior posterior.)
posted by jonmc at 5:05 PM on May 31, 2008


"Her toot is sweet"? Cripes, the writing wasn't any better back then.
posted by GuyZero at 5:09 PM on May 31, 2008


Why do some of these women have curly hair growing out of their crotches?
posted by fire&wings at 5:09 PM on May 31, 2008 [21 favorites]


Cripes, the writing wasn't any better back then.

Um, you actually read the words? The sewing circle is down the hall.
posted by jonmc at 5:11 PM on May 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


It's all about the Hamiltons.
posted by bunnytricks at 5:12 PM on May 31, 2008


It's all about the Hamiltons.

I wonder how long after the shoot it took her to figure out that she'd been paid in funny munny.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 5:18 PM on May 31, 2008


You know an image is awesome when it displaces the picture of me with Paul Weller on my desktop.
posted by scody at 5:24 PM on May 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


When it was decided that London Bridge was finally to come "falling down," Frieda was selected by a Midwestern city to travel to England, to make an estimate of what the bridge would be worth once it had been torn down. It was an assignment which Frieda accepted with enthusiasm since she has such a fondness for all things British.

Th... thanks for this, Robert McCullough? I'll admit though that I can't think of much that's less sexual than object conservation and the reconstruction of bridges, so it's kind of an odd experience.

Ooh, baby, let's sign the National Historic Preservation Act of 1966 tonight!
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 5:26 PM on May 31, 2008


I wonder how long after the shoot it took her to figure out that she'd been paid in funny munny.

Just long enough for Biscuit to draw his pimp hand back when she hands him the wad to pay next weeks meth bill.
posted by bunnytricks at 5:27 PM on May 31, 2008


Um, I don't think Meth had been invented yet, dude. It'd be smack money.
posted by jonmc at 5:31 PM on May 31, 2008


Plenty of people did Meth in the 50s.
posted by TrialByMedia at 5:34 PM on May 31, 2008


I'm not a fan of pornography. But this stuff seems so much healthier, in terms of the bodies ondisplay, than what's available nowadays.

If my hypothetical teenaged son was going to be lusting after pictures of naked women, I'd far rather he was lusting after pictures like these, depicting what real women with real bodies look like, rather than developing a taste for the bizarre fantasy of womanhood that modern porn peddles. It surely isn't in the best interests of our species for a generation of men to grow up who believe that a real woman are genetically hairless, have large breasts with positive boyancy, and are only capable of one facial expression (the pout). Not to mention, they can be sexually stimulated to orgasm by giving a blowjob, and they are not capable of expression an opion more nuanced than that relating to which of their orifices should now be penetrated.

I'd much rather that my notional son would be prepared for the reality which is the nice girl next door, who while equally hypothetical, would no doubt be pretty and intelligent and a great match for him despite her being just a little too thin, or maybe a little too chunky, and having only the breast tissue nature supplied, and - shock - perhaps even having hair down there which I understand is the modern equivalent of visible leprosy among today's porn-educated teenagers.

Even more worrying is the effect that all this has on the girls. My daughters are extremely non-hypothetical. Will they try to compete with the pixellated perfection their future beaus are being raised on? How can they?

Of course the porn industry could fix this by reversing the modern trend and returning to "real women" porn. They are noted for their social conscience so I'm sure they'll get right on that.

In summary, I think I've proven beyond doubt that the destruction of the human race will come about not through global warming, or through a massive comet impact; rather men will find real sex with real women inferior and too much effort compared to Internet porn; the human species will wank itself to death.
posted by standbythree at 5:40 PM on May 31, 2008 [18 favorites]


Um, I don't think Meth had been invented yet, dude.

Uh, methamphetamine has been heavily used since before World War II. Judy Garland and other starlets were routinely given it by the studios to keep them slim and so forth.
posted by Justinian at 5:45 PM on May 31, 2008


You know who else used meth before the 50s?
posted by bunnytricks at 5:46 PM on May 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


If you enjoy this you'll probably also enjoy Apartment House Wrestling.
posted by furtive at 5:47 PM on May 31, 2008


If my hypothetical teenaged son was going to be lusting after pictures of naked women

There's a roughly 90% chance he will and if not he'll be lusting after pictures of naked men.

Will they try to compete with the pixellated perfection their future beaus are being raised on? How can they?

The steriodal laser-hair removed male sex symbols being peddled these days aren't exactly realistic either.

Of course the porn industry could fix this by reversing the modern trend and returning to "real women" porn. They are noted for their social conscience so I'm sure they'll get right on that.

*cough cough* (two of the most popular adult sites around. if you build it they will [*ahem*] come.
posted by jonmc at 5:47 PM on May 31, 2008


I guess jess can just go ahead and reset the counter in anticipation of what will happen in this thread.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:55 PM on May 31, 2008


I just wish porn could go back to this wholesome variety where you DON'T GET TO SEE ANY SNATCH. Not that I'm into that sort of thing. Or did I miss some?
posted by gorgor_balabala at 6:00 PM on May 31, 2008


Thanks! Now I have something to do this weekend! AWESOME.
posted by every_one_needs_a_hug_sometimes at 6:02 PM on May 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


No photoshopping. They were retouching these pictures by hand.
Pencil lines
Slimmed buttocks
Left thigh (in the mirror) trimmed and lined buttocks.
posted by the Real Dan at 6:10 PM on May 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'm a big fan of this old mag kind of tongue in cheek and cheesy.
posted by HappyHippo at 6:20 PM on May 31, 2008


I meant to add this link too but i was ummmmmm let's just say, distracted
posted by HappyHippo at 6:22 PM on May 31, 2008


I don't think this can be reduced to old vs new porn/erotism. Pin-ups were a product of the fifties, and they still influence the way erotism and pornography are produced.
Then maybe the standards of beauty have changed, but there still the idealization of the female body floating around.
There is, in every period of our history, a desire for both a realist depiction of the human body and a more idealized one.

Photoshop ain't new, it's just so much easy and cost-effective than manual methods. The airbrushing technique (that sort of abused effect that makes the skin kinda plastic) was used for ages to manually retouch the photos of centerfolds models.
posted by darkripper at 6:25 PM on May 31, 2008


I really like these (as much for the goofy ads for "uncensored" photos and so on as much as the photos).

The sites jonmc links are less artificial than, say, Playboy, but appear to skew (at least based on what they put on the front pages; I don't have memberships so don't know what is really inside) younger, skinnier, and waxed-ier than the vintage stuff does.

In addition to the retouching mentioned, there was a lot of photos I saw where pubic hair was edited out of a photo, by airbrushing or burning or some other technique.
posted by Forktine at 6:26 PM on May 31, 2008


Other than showing less genitalia and penetration, I'm not convinced that these images are any more "wholesome" or "healthy" than modern pornography. The body requirements are still strict, and throughout all the text and images remains the constant reinforcement that women are for looking at, women aren't creatures of intellect or independence. So, yeah.

I still think that it's interesting to look at how deeply socialized our sexual responses are. If you gave a modern teenager with their access to hundreds of thousands of hours of hardcore porn one of these magazines, I'd wonder if they'd even get turned on? But this stuff (along with stag films) are as risque as it got. I find it interesting how even in the stories (which all seem to be the hardboiled detective/spy genre), no one really seems to have any independent sexuality or sensuality. So bizarre. I'd like the site better though if there was some analyzing or discussion of context going on.
posted by SassHat at 6:27 PM on May 31, 2008


If you gave a modern teenager with their access to hundreds of thousands of hours of hardcore porn one of these magazines, I'd wonder if they'd even get turned on?

Teenage boy will get turned on by a glimpse of cleavage on the bus.

I'd like the site better though if there was some analyzing or discussion of context going on.

palteofbeansporn.com is still available. Hurry.
posted by jonmc at 6:36 PM on May 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's funny that back in the day many people thought that these pictures were the gateway to the apocalypse, and now we're referring to them as being more innocent and from a more wholesome time.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 6:39 PM on May 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I find it interesting how even in the stories (which all seem to be the hardboiled detective/spy genre), no one really seems to have any independent sexuality or sensuality.

That's because it's pornography, not a lit-crit workshop.
posted by jonmc at 6:39 PM on May 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


'Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
posted by nola at 6:47 PM on May 31, 2008


I think finding a girl who looks like the ones from these magazine is just as hard as finding one of the hairless types that pass for pornstars these days.
posted by (bb|[^b]{2}) at 6:57 PM on May 31, 2008


Teenage boy will get turned on by a glimpse of cleavage on the bus.
Yes. That is why high school sucked, and why remembering high school is awesome.
Also this happens on occasion long after high school.
posted by Science! at 7:02 PM on May 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


You know an image is awesome when it displaces the picture of me with Paul Weller on my desktop.

You did it with Paul Weller on top of your desk?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:42 PM on May 31, 2008


scody did it with RoboCop?
posted by jonmc at 7:47 PM on May 31, 2008


I'm not convinced that these images are any more "wholesome" or "healthy" than modern pornography.

Rubbish. What's not wholesome or healthy about this?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:51 PM on May 31, 2008


I'm not convinced that these images are any more "wholesome" or "healthy" than modern pornography.

Rubbish. What's not wholesome or healthy about this?


I'm not convinced there needs to be anything "wholesome" about any pornography. Select a gender or two of your choice and enjoy looking at pictures of them without clothes on. It's porn, not a plate of beans.
posted by Science! at 8:06 PM on May 31, 2008


SassHat: Asking for pornography to be more wholesome is like asking for the chocolate cake to be more meaty tasting. It kind of misses the point, and if you made it that way nobody would want it.

Porn is made the way it is because that's what dudes want; they vote with their wallets (directly or indirectly). There isn't some huge market out there for more dignified, respectful, and boring porn just waiting to be exploited.
posted by Justinian at 8:10 PM on May 31, 2008


"I feel like a dart board, the way men make passes at me," avers Vilma.

We don't know whether her remark is in the nature of a complaint, or a simple statement of fact.

In any case, any fool can see that the men she speaks of are definitely on target.

The crux of this whole matter is, of course, that a gal should never complain about men making overtures - or passes at her.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:13 PM on May 31, 2008


In addition to the retouching mentioned, there was a lot of photos I saw where pubic hair was edited out of a photo, by airbrushing or burning or some other technique.
posted by Forktine at 6:26 PM on May 31


*winces, crosses legs*
posted by kosher_jenny at 8:23 PM on May 31, 2008


I've never quite understood the "just an object" argument about pornography. I mean, they're photos, of course they're objects. I suppose there might be people out there who look at actual flesh-and-blood folks as nothing more than a 3-d picture with olfactory, auditory and gustatory extras, but are they really the majority?

Do women who look at porn (or Abercrombie ads) think nothing but deep thoughts about what an artistically complete and intellectually acute specimen the subject of the photo is? And do men only ogle the bodies of the people whose photos they're viewing, sparing no thought for what the person might be like or building any sort of fantasy around the person that doesn't involve mucous membranes?
posted by maxwelton at 8:25 PM on May 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Every time I hear complaints about male-driven pornography and how demeaning it is to women, I like to think of my local used bookstore. It's neatly divided down the middle, leaving one half to be occupied by romances. The other half is "everything else," and has slowly become prone to carrying that most oddball of new subgenres, the supernatural romance. Pick a romance novel (or just watch some Sex in the City episodes) and welcome to a whole new world of equally unlikely ideas about what men should be. Infinitely tolerant, remarkably handsome, nearly telepathic, money falling out of every orifice, etc. Grab a few bodice-rippers and have a go at it if you don't believe me. I worked at a dating service for a while and found that the women had the most unrealistic expectations - "six foot two and eyes of blue" is no joke, but they left out the part about the requisite six figure salary. Far, far fussier than the men were - judging by the number of turndowns and a look at the average "how important is this attribute to you?" score.

Just because it has pictures and is about that ever-so-touchy subject sex, male pornography quite the easy target. It's obvious and naughty. And I absolutely refuse to feel even slightly guilty about the concept at the prompting of women who cannot be bothered to clean up their own camp before pointing out messes elsewhere. Carry on with the vintage smut, please!
posted by adipocere at 8:42 PM on May 31, 2008 [19 favorites]


Justinian:

Hey, I'd not mind some respectful, non-objectifying porn. I'd love watching a girl honestly enjoy herself while having sex. In fact, I'd prefer it over robotic, cheap acting.
posted by leviathan3k at 8:54 PM on May 31, 2008


And do men only ogle the bodies of the people whose photos they're viewing, sparing no thought for what the person might be like or building any sort of fantasy around the person that doesn't involve mucous membranes?

Yeah, I would say that's fairly accurate.
posted by Avenger at 8:54 PM on May 31, 2008


leviathan3k: I don't disagree. But I don't think "wholesome" and "a girl honestly enjoying herself" are at all the same thing. In a lot of cases "wholesome" would actually be the antithesis of a girl enjoying herself since a hell of a lot of women don't get off on wholesome.
posted by Justinian at 9:03 PM on May 31, 2008


Pick a romance novel (or just watch some Sex in the City episodes) and welcome to a whole new world of equally unlikely ideas about what men should be. Infinitely tolerant, remarkably handsome, nearly telepathic, money falling out of every orifice, etc. Grab a few bodice-rippers and have a go at it if you don't believe me.

Sure, but can't you see that it's so much more holistic than the way men go about things? Tolerance, telepathy & wealth are part of the broader character of a whole human being, not just a person reduced to their physical appearances.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:28 PM on May 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


that was obviously a sarcastic snark, and since i'm pissing off to the art gallery now i'll admit as much, just so you don't think i'm threadshitting & running
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:30 PM on May 31, 2008


That's because it's pornography, not a lit-crit workshop.

Sorry. Wrong room. I was looking for the clit-writ workshop.

(Thanks for setting that up)
posted by sluglicker at 9:34 PM on May 31, 2008


jonmc: From the first site you linked:

We feature happy, healthy, regular girls in their normal environments – like their own bedrooms – having fun and being themselves. There’s no makeup, no fake boobs, no airbrushing. Just Australian beauties getting naked in their own sexy and carefree ways!

Jesus, what do you think I am, some sort of perv?
posted by Ynoxas at 9:42 PM on May 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


You did it with Paul Weller on top of your desk?

Ah, a girl can dream.
posted by scody at 1:05 AM on June 1, 2008


Plenty of people did Meth in the 50s.

And it didn't take wads of pimp-cash doled out to shady dealers. Just stop by the drugstore for a Benzedrine inhaler, pop the crystal encrusted cotton insert into your morning coffee, and put the 100 yard scroll into your typewriter.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:25 AM on June 1, 2008 [2 favorites]


Those ads are great too: HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES? How do you Measure Up?
posted by languagehat at 7:52 AM on June 1, 2008


Boyz, please. Plenty of breasts were silicone-injected in the 50s and 60s, especially among strippers and young women desperate to become starlets. Silicone that caused serious medical complications. History of. These pictures aren't necessarily more innocent just because they are from the past.
posted by tula at 8:05 AM on June 1, 2008


scody did it with RoboCop?

No, she did it with Buckaroo effing Banzai, baby.
posted by adamdschneider at 8:22 AM on June 1, 2008


But this stuff (along with stag films) are as risque as it got.

Uhh, have you seen said stag films? They are not less risque than the average porno.
posted by desuetude at 8:54 AM on June 1, 2008


This is the most effective anti-porn website I've ever seen.

Christ Almighty. Terrifying.
posted by crazylegs at 9:38 AM on June 1, 2008


So the idealization of 1950's Leave it to Beaver cultural Stalinism as some kind of prelapsarian age of innocence applies to pornography now too?
posted by [expletive deleted] at 9:55 AM on June 1, 2008


Just stop by the drugstore for a Benzedrine inhaler

A little googling even shows a Pan Am airline menu offering a Benzedrine inhaler as a "service item" for your flying comfort, along with a toothbrush, sewing kit, and kleenex.
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:56 AM on June 1, 2008


...where 'flying' is the operative word.
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:57 AM on June 1, 2008


I'm not a fan of pornography. But this stuff seems so much healthier, in terms of the bodies ondisplay, than what's available nowadays.

I am a fan of pronography, and I mostly agree. Still average bodies and healthy attitudes can be found if you look in the right spots (though I admit, the search can be pretty dispiriting)
posted by Popular Ethics at 10:50 AM on June 1, 2008


"I lost 30 dangerous ugly fat 4 inches off my waist"
http://vintagegirlymags.com/blogger/

Dude, and your arm.

And what's with

Boobs
Boobs
Crotch
Boobs
Ohhh DaVinci!
Boobs
Some guy looking at a mummy
Boobs
posted by dasheekeejones at 3:52 AM on June 2, 2008


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