Crap, I'm hungry.
June 2, 2008 5:08 PM   Subscribe

 
no whipped cream bidet?
posted by jonmc at 5:15 PM on June 2, 2008


Classy.
posted by DU at 5:15 PM on June 2, 2008


I think that's what you call a...

Royal Flush!
posted by oxford blue at 5:15 PM on June 2, 2008


How's the lemonade?
posted by jonmc at 5:16 PM on June 2, 2008


Classy. Crappy.
posted by ornate insect at 5:21 PM on June 2, 2008


If you're American when you go in the restaurant and you're American when you come out of the restaurant, what are you when you're in the restaurant?

European!
posted by Frank Grimes at 5:21 PM on June 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


Rudy will await your foundation.
posted by bayliss at 5:22 PM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


How's the lemonade?

I'm not sure but you should see what they're making 'round the corner!
posted by lysistrata at 5:23 PM on June 2, 2008 [5 favorites]


Two girls, one soft serve in a little toilet shaped bowl.
posted by Frank Grimes at 5:23 PM on June 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


I see Sanrio coming out with a new line of toys based on this: Hello Kitty Litter™.
posted by jonmc at 5:25 PM on June 2, 2008


Classy.
posted by Saxon Kane at 5:36 PM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


The toiletberries taste like toiletberries.
posted by user92371 at 5:39 PM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sounds like the perfect place for "business lunches".
posted by wendell at 5:46 PM on June 2, 2008


This is good - I think Taiwan would be happy to start capitalizing on the lolzjapan market. It may be orientalism, but at least it's the slightly more positive flavor. And maybe with time it will engender the same kind of (grudging?) cultural respect from the west.

Better than being ignored, at least!
posted by Sangermaine at 5:48 PM on June 2, 2008


Crassy

going to racist hell
posted by DU at 5:51 PM on June 2, 2008 [3 favorites]


Tastes like mustard.
posted by loquacious at 5:56 PM on June 2, 2008


It's funny cause the ice cream looks like poop! Right? HA!HA!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 5:56 PM on June 2, 2008


jonmc will be here all week, ladies and germs. Be sure to tip your waiters!
posted by jbickers at 5:58 PM on June 2, 2008


"I'll have the, er... [points at menu] number one, please"
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:02 PM on June 2, 2008


Be sure to tip your waiters!

In this place that could be unsanitary. And would they be waiters or plumbers?
posted by jonmc at 6:08 PM on June 2, 2008


I'll try the Poo-Poo Platter.
posted by ornate insect at 6:10 PM on June 2, 2008 [3 favorites]


That restaurant is McDonalds' main competitor in Turdistan.
posted by redteam at 6:12 PM on June 2, 2008


and Shitsylvania.
posted by jonmc at 6:12 PM on June 2, 2008


Coming soon to Shit Creek, WA.
posted by redteam at 6:17 PM on June 2, 2008


Why do I get so angry when I see the spelling "faeces"? I really do. Why am I such a jerk?
posted by tristeza at 6:18 PM on June 2, 2008


Happy customers leave with a shit-eating grin!
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:22 PM on June 2, 2008


tristeza: Do you like "fæces" better? I do. But then again, I'm Norwegian.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 6:34 PM on June 2, 2008


I wonder if the customers there would felt shy about asking where the restroom was.
posted by gyc at 6:42 PM on June 2, 2008


#2
posted by gman at 6:44 PM on June 2, 2008


A few years ago, I made a particularly memorable pit stop at a public bathroom. Went to the one unoccupied stall and upon turning around after locking the door, I saw a turd staring back at me from within the bowl. I was about to flush it, mentally grumbling about how people can be such pigs, not to mention slightly squiked out that there was no TP laying on top of it or anywhere in the bowl (had the guy not even wiped?!).

Then I realized something was wrong with this picture: it was white. Uniform, unsullied, snow white. I stood there for literally over a minute, staring in awe and horror at this albino dookie. Had there been a long stick handy, I might not have been able to resist the urge to poke it to see if it was real. Despite really needing to use the facilities, I opted to bail on that toilet and wait for one of the other ones to free up - on the off chance that whatever caused that crime against nature was contagious and lurking on the toilet seat.

The vanilla sides of those half-and-half softserves are giving me flashbacks.
posted by CKmtl at 6:45 PM on June 2, 2008


But is there a dumb waiter in the restroom?
posted by komilnefopa at 6:47 PM on June 2, 2008


Whatever. We feed out of troughs here in the US.
posted by cog_nate at 6:49 PM on June 2, 2008


That's international dining.

You're Russian when you go in, European while you're there, and when you leave you're Finnish!
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 6:55 PM on June 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm reminded of that scene from The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie when the diners are actually doing their business while gathered together around the table, but excuse themselves from time to time to go away to a tiny room, in private, to do the more private and embarrassing activity of eating.

At least, I'm pretty sure there was a scene like that in the movie, but it's been more than 30 years since I saw it...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:58 PM on June 2, 2008


The prescient Mr. Show.
posted by ericthegardener at 7:14 PM on June 2, 2008 [2 favorites]


I guess this will save me from making a post about Kitty Litter Cake.

At the worst job I've ever had, someone actually brought this to a company potluck.

Actually, that wasn't even the worst job.

posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:27 PM on June 2, 2008


But do they give you magazines while you wait for your food?
posted by artifarce at 7:30 PM on June 2, 2008


YGBSM
posted by ericales at 7:59 PM on June 2, 2008


The food is shit. $12.95
posted by Balisong at 8:00 PM on June 2, 2008


The Aristocrats!
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:31 PM on June 2, 2008


Why do I get so angry when I see the spelling "faeces"? I really do. Why am I such a jerk?
posted by tristeza at 7:18 PM on June 2


'cause you are a faerie?
posted by Eekacat at 9:19 PM on June 2, 2008


I dunno, eekacat, it's probably just a matter of personal aesthetics.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:24 PM on June 2, 2008


maeh. i don't really mind aether way.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:46 PM on June 2, 2008


HURF DURF CHOCOLATE SMEARERS.
posted by bunnytricks at 12:34 AM on June 3, 2008


Why do I get so angry when I see the spelling "faeces"?

Was that you trying to lynch that paediatrician? All this time, we thought it was because people didn't know the difference between a baby doctor, and a child molester who announces her status with a brass plaque on the front of the house.

Now you tell us it was simply a case of spelling rage?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:42 AM on June 3, 2008


How many people - are so much and tastes :)
posted by Seoptimist at 3:37 AM on June 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I saw a cake in a bakery, in Wisconsin. It wasn't kitty liter. It was made to look like a latrine pile, complete with little squares of paper and plastic flies. I never laughed so spontaneously, in public, as I did that day.

What I want to know, does the men's room have urinals that resemble sundae dishes?
posted by Goofyy at 5:51 AM on June 3, 2008


At least its better than Beijing's now closed prison themed Chain Cool restaurant.

Or perhaps you're into dining where the food itself sets the mood?
posted by Pollomacho at 6:04 AM on June 3, 2008


CKmtl:
I believe that's caused by an obstructed bile duct, and is called "greasy feces". Without bile, the grease doesn't get digested and it causes the thing to float.
IANAD, just wish I had managed to forget some of that biology over the years.
posted by unrepentanthippie at 6:11 AM on June 3, 2008


Flapjax:

The scene you're thinking of is in Bunel's The Phantom of Liberty / Le Fantôme de la liberté , and yes, it could not be more relevant. Once again, life imitates art.

And here it is.
posted by Herodios at 12:01 PM on June 3, 2008


Make that "Buñuel" not "Bunel".

No academy award for you.
posted by Herodios at 12:04 PM on June 3, 2008


Herodios

I garland you in toilet paper.
That's a scene I've so often heard described, but never had the pleasure until just now!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 12:24 PM on June 3, 2008


Wow, Herodios, thanks! Like I said upthread, it's been more than 30 years since I saw it, and the ol' brain did a little Buñuel switcheroo on me!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:26 PM on June 3, 2008


Yup. Doesn't have the impact it had in 1975, though.

Still --
"How was your trip?"
"We left early. The place was filled with the stench of -- pardon my language -- food."
posted by Herodios at 9:31 PM on June 3, 2008


I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought of The Phantom of Liberty. Reading through the comments, I was starting to get worried.
posted by owtytrof at 1:35 PM on June 4, 2008


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