If I had a billion dollars, I would buy all of the 1972 Trans Ams left in the world, destroy all but one and then be buried in that last one when I die. But first, I would convert that last one into some sort of doomsday machine transformer robot and when we've been buried for one year, it would activate and then dig us out of the ground and then destroy the world. I'm thisclose to being a billionaire and death, so y'all should start working on your last meals and start hitting on your crushes for real. posted by NoMich at 6:58 PM on June 2, 2008
Good title, but kind of a thin post. posted by DU at 7:00 PM on June 2, 2008
I would stay alive, while we are wishing for stuff. posted by Senator at 7:05 PM on June 2, 2008
I'd like to spend the rest of eternity making people wonder where my other damn foot went. posted by nebulawindphone at 8:09 PM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
Did anyone else imagine a 8' x 4' round pringles can complete with the plastic top? Man I was really disappointed when they just buried his ashes... posted by HappyHippo at 8:09 PM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
He should have fully committed to the concept, his remains extruded into thin Pringles chips stacked neatly inside the can. posted by Auden at 8:11 PM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
I want to be taken to deep space, converted to antimatter, accelerated near enough to C that my relativistic mass is approximately Jovian, and slammed back into Earth. I can't think of any reason why any of you lot should outlive me. posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:33 PM on June 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
A body found in a suitcase in Bournemouth sounds so Agatha Christie, or perhaps Dick Francis. posted by Eekacat at 8:36 PM on June 2, 2008
TPS is going to be buried in a Doritos bag. posted by SassHat at 8:37 PM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have 'em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size.
I want to be taken to deep space, converted to antimatter, accelerated near enough to C that my relativistic mass is approximately Jovian, and slammed back into Earth. I can't think of any reason why any of you lot should outlive me.
Given the relativistic effects of that sort of acceleration, it's a safe bet to say that you probably wouldn't get back to earth until the far, far future. And by that time we'll have invented a way to destroy you. And then we'll live forever. Hahahaha ha ha hahahahahaha.... ha posted by blue_beetle at 9:28 PM on June 2, 2008
Eternity!! Man, I can't wait for that shit. It'll be so fun when things never end. posted by localhuman at 9:37 PM on June 2, 2008
I'd prefer to spend the vast majority of eternity dead, thank you. posted by Ironmouth at 10:37 PM on June 2, 2008
This (complete with zany video!), flapjax, is where I thought you would go with this:
"Well I ain't afraid of dyin', it's the thought of being dead
I wanna go on being me once my eulogy's been read
Don't spread my ashes out to sea, don't lay me down to rest
You can put my mind at ease if you fulfill my last request
Prop me up beside the jukebox if I die
Lord, I wanna go to heaven but I don't wanna go tonight
Fill my boots up with sand, put a stiff drink in my hand
Prop me up beside the jukebox if I die..."(etc) posted by librarylis at 12:19 AM on June 3, 2008
I'd like to be buried in Natalie Portman. Oh, wait? posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:24 AM on June 3, 2008
Well, whatever kind of container you're buried in, you don't want it leaking, that's for sure. posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:40 AM on June 3, 2008
But, any excuse to link to the great Sonny Boy Williamson, that's my motto.
If it were Agatha Christie, the body would have been buried in a samovar. posted by subgear at 5:01 AM on June 3, 2008
Even the casket-buying crowd can get bizarre custom coffins these days. And who wouldn't want to get buried in a delightful NASCAR box? posted by norm at 5:51 AM on June 3, 2008
That's funny, I heard the guy that invented coffins got buried in - get this - a coffin! posted by jabberjaw at 9:16 AM on June 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
That's true, jabberjaw, and get this: he died of a coughin' fit! posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:55 PM on June 3, 2008
Worth mentioning, but not worth it's own FPP: Coffin Couches. Couches...made out of "soiled" coffins. posted by ColdChef at 9:17 AM on June 4, 2008
Im scared to dark places. The idea of being inside a small, dark, cold, wet coffin scares me. Spending the rest of eternity as ashes will be slightly better. posted by super11 at 8:41 PM on June 4, 2008
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posted by NoMich at 6:58 PM on June 2, 2008