Comments on: Salmoning: a bot-initiated two-way chat surprise

Salmoning: a bot-initiated two-way chat surprise

Mo Nickels — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:42:07 -0800

Have you been salmoned? I just met a stranger from Denver via the process of salmoning, in which a chatbot initiates an unexpected two-way conversation between two (apparently random) nicks, giving them both aliases ending with "salmon," and leaving both parties confused.

Like this guy says, once you figure out what's going on when you've been salmoned, you can have a pretty good chat. In my case, the bot's opening line was, "Fill in the blank: I'll eat me candy with the [blank]. Excuse my manners if I make a scene." (It's from a Weezer song; the answer is "pork and beans.") My unwitting partner's nick was EconomicSalmon, so for a minute I thought it was Felix Salmon, who writes about finance and economics. My random nick was, apparently, MilkySalmon. A typical salmon chat. Another. One more. Still one more.

By: sour cream

sour cream — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:49:58 -0800

This sounds a little fishy to me.

By: TravellingDen

TravellingDen — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:54:08 -0800

This is.. brilliant, and I'm disappointed that I didn't think of it.

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:55:00 -0800

It could salmon to you.

By: gimonca

gimonca — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:55:34 -0800

Mr. Rushdie was unavailable for comment.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:55:59 -0800

NO NO NO NO

By: kaseijin

kaseijin — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:01:23 -0800

I, too, have been salmoned. A thoroughly confusing experience.

By: m0nm0n

m0nm0n — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:01:25 -0800

I got hit by this a couple of years ago, when it was just the Hatmaster doing it.

By: Slack-a-gogo

Slack-a-gogo — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:05:11 -0800

I'm confused now and I don't think I've even been salmoned.

By: Bonzai

Bonzai — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:09:41 -0800

There used to be a mid-day DJ in Chicago (Kevin Mathews) who would do a bit like this. He'd start a 3-way call by dialing 2 somewhat similar places. 2 pizza places, 2 Chinese food take-out places, 2 hotels, etc. It could be amusing.

By: netbros

netbros — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:23:20 -0800

Be very wary of SalmonElla.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:40:49 -0800

I have a fish. In my chat.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:50:20 -0800

I'm just glad you called it salmoning and not hatting. Because that would be wrong.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:50:43 -0800

I should have signed that "languagesalmon," shouldn't I?

By: Salmonberry

Salmonberry — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 08:54:20 -0800

I'm going to sue. This is defamation! Or something! Salmon hentai, salmoning....what happened to the internets I used to know and love? For the record: I am highly anti-social and would never want anyone talking to anyone ever. It can only lead to trouble.

By: dersins

dersins — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:55:43 -0800

posted by languagehat posted by Salmonberry Now we just need this guy to show up, and all hell will really break loose.

By: nev

nev — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 10:15:38 -0800

I did this to random people with 3-way calling when I was a bored suburban teenager. I like the idea of calling two businesses better -- now I feel bad for having annoyed people in their homes.

By: Brak

Brak — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 11:28:57 -0800

I did this to random people with 3-way calling when I was a bored suburban teenager. I must confess that I too did this when I was younger. But one of the parties was always the same: our local library had a Dial-a-Story phone number, where you would call and get a pre-recorded children's story, read presumably by one of the librarians. I used to connect random people to the story, because, hey, everyone could use a story now and then, right? No, I'm not proud of what I did. Oh the folly of youth.

By: loiseau

loiseau — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 13:37:56 -0800

The prank phone calls of Longmont Potion Castle include lots of those kinds of calls, and are often hilarious.

By: RTQP

RTQP — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 13:57:39 -0800

The Great Hatsby Hell Atlantic

By: ilana

ilana — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:39:48 -0800

Well, it certainly does seem to produce its share of swimming upstream of consciousness conversation.

By: bookish

bookish — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 15:11:01 -0800

I did this to random people with 3-way calling when I was a bored suburban teenager. And way back in the 40s, my grampa worked as a telephone switchboard operator, and used to pull that prank when he got bored. It's apparently a universal human desire. -Dearest, do you know of an Engelbert J. Salmon, Esquire? -No my darling. Why do you ask? -We just received a telegraph from him. He wants to know if our holiday in Prussia was pleasant! -But we didn't take a holiday in Prussia! -I know, I better write him back and set him straight...

By: subgear

subgear — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:29:33 -0800

Seriously, people have nothing better to do with their time than this???

By: gregor-e

gregor-e — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:54:14 -0800

Oh, come on. Who knows what odd connections will be made, what novel partnerships may be struck? This sort of random-connection mechanism might be a kind of social catalyst. I often wonder at the future influence of computer-mediated social interactions. It seems likely that net-assistant programs (agents) will become available that can not only provide a more fluid search capability, (they'd listen to all your interactions and suggest answers and side-thoughts that you hadn't thought of, often before you event think to ask), but also provide dynamic re-expression. Sort of like language translation, but beefing up the conceptual content and possible connections and ramifications on-the-fly, in your native language, so your recipient sees you very differently than they would if your communication were not re-expressed. What's more, your agent could collaborate with the knowledge of other agents, so the sort of person you'd find interesting will automatically be connected with you. Could be cool.

By: spish

spish — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:42:05 -0800

douglas adams has risen from the dead!

By: sexyrobot

sexyrobot — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 03:28:09 -0800

did anyone see 'the lawnmower man'? remember the bit where he rings all the worlds phones at once? i've always imagined that when (and if) this happens that we will all be connected to our one true soul mate... ...and stop making those gagging motions with your finger. its all right to have romantic notions from time to time...get off my back.

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 05:33:27 -0800

I would be happier if this didn't involve a sort of fish. I've seen some nasty usenet pictures recently, involving fish.