Teach the Controversy

June 16, 2008 11:25 AM

Teach the Controversy.Because we know that the earth sits on giant elephants which in turn ride an even gianter turtle.

Make sure to check out the Science tab on the site, too.

posted by cerebus19 (74 comments total)

Cute t-shirt site.

Still, though, it's a t-shirt site.
posted by dersins at 11:29 AM on June 16, 2008

Do they come in...why, yes, they do!
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:29 AM on June 16, 2008

Via projects, by the way.
posted by yhbc at 11:30 AM on June 16, 2008

Thanks for catching that, yhbc. I came across it elsewhere, and had no idea.
posted by cerebus19 at 11:31 AM on June 16, 2008

Hmm, on the one hand we have an ID bashing thread from yesterday open, on the other I totally wnat the 4 elements T-Shirt. Hmm.
posted by Artw at 11:34 AM on June 16, 2008

Wait a second, WTF is that bullshit 5th element? CLOSE THE THREAD.
posted by Artw at 11:35 AM on June 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

I taught my twin 3 year olds, when asked if something is magic, to raise their arms up and shout "No, it's SCIENCE!"
posted by DU at 11:38 AM on June 16, 2008 [46 favorites]

Hoo ray, I got to the front page! Thanks much cerebus19.
posted by Jezztek at 11:39 AM on June 16, 2008

I really like the five elements and the sun scarab t-shirts. The shipping would kill me though.
posted by Memo at 11:43 AM on June 16, 2008

clever.
posted by absalom at 11:47 AM on June 16, 2008

That's not a turtle, it's a tortoise. How could anyone wear such a blasphemous design?
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:48 AM on June 16, 2008

...and the tortoise rides on Raquel Welch!
posted by Mister_A at 11:52 AM on June 16, 2008

(And yes, I'm aware of the irony of brainwashing a child to knee-jerkily attribute things to science.)
posted by DU at 11:53 AM on June 16, 2008

They dare mock our Lord Neptune and depict him on their base, dry clothing? And you laugh? Blasphemy! Our Watery Lord shall smite you all!
posted by Tehanu at 12:00 PM on June 16, 2008

What, no FSM? [NOT PASTAFARIANIST]
posted by The Bellman at 12:05 PM on June 16, 2008

I taught my twin 3 year olds, when asked if something is magic, to raise their arms up and shout "No, it's SCIENCE!"

Good, safe parenting. Those kids aren't gonna get laid until they're in their 30's.
posted by i_cola at 12:06 PM on June 16, 2008 [4 favorites]

And what does the turtle stand on, mister smartypants?
posted by Turtles all the way down at 12:08 PM on June 16, 2008 [39 favorites]

Eponyst... oh that was a damn gimme. Try harder Turtles.
posted by abulafa at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2008

More turtles, apparently. Eponysterical.
posted by ZakDaddy at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2008

So close!
posted by ZakDaddy at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2008

Very, very cute. I bought one.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2008

The new buzzword is "strengths and weaknesses." First they had "creationism" then "intelligent design" then "teach the controversy" but now it's "teach the strengths and weaknesses of evolutionary theory."
posted by mattbucher at 12:13 PM on June 16, 2008 [2 favorites]

Strengths & weaknesses on Science Friday.
posted by gurple at 12:15 PM on June 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

I should hope that science teachers would teach the strengths and weaknesses.


Weaknesses:
1. No one has actually been sitting around with a video camera for 3-3.5 billion years to verify that things have progressed in more or less the way suggested by the huge, overwhelming, inescapable, undeniable mountain of evidence in favor of the modern theory of evolution via natural selection.

2. Even if someone had 3.5 billion years worth of video, it'd probably be Beta.

3. Where to put all the tapes?
posted by Mister_A at 12:21 PM on June 16, 2008 [7 favorites]

If I hear evolution called "random chance" one more time, I'm going to go something on their medieval asses.

Let me introduce you to something called a "ratchet". It lifts things via "random chance" by which I mean ONE WAY MOTION.
posted by DU at 12:22 PM on June 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm okay with teaching the strengths and weaknesses of evolutionary theory. There are gaps in the theory that still need to be explored. There are strengths and weaknesses to quantum mechanics and relativity, too...
posted by empath at 12:22 PM on June 16, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'm afraid the main weakness of evolutionary theory will be "it leaves out Jesus."
posted by mattbucher at 12:27 PM on June 16, 2008 [9 favorites]

I'm okay with teaching the strengths and weaknesses of evolutionary theory.

That's what they want you to say...

There are gaps in the theory that still need to be explored.

...because that's what they want you to think they mean.
posted by DU at 12:34 PM on June 16, 2008 [4 favorites]

I'm afraid the main weakness of evolutionary theory will be "it leaves out Jesus."

Actually, most modern scientists believe that Jesus evolved over time from more primitive religious figures, such as Mithras and Enki.
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:35 PM on June 16, 2008 [50 favorites]

The turtle is ten thousand miles long and it's name is A'Tuin. Everyone should know this.
posted by quin at 12:36 PM on June 16, 2008

I commented on this in Projects, but these shirts are great. Plus, b/c of some feedback in Projects, you can order the shirts with or without the text. (Personally, I prefer the version without the text. I like my poking of people to be done more subtly).

I also want to note that because of the sale banner, it is hard to see that these two sites are also connected with Amorphia Apparel a site that is less focused in theme, but also has a bunch of great designs.
posted by bove at 12:44 PM on June 16, 2008

I imagine living with creationists must be taxing at times, especially if their tendency to ascribe divine intervention to everything with a clear scientific explanation spills over into everyday conversation:

"Say, this Cobb salad sure is tasty. I wonder what the chef did to give it this very specific flavor?"
"IRREDUCIBLY COMPLEX!"

"I wonder how they get the little ball into the can of spray paint."
"IRREDUCIBLY COMPLEX!"

"What do you mean, you don't know who the father is?"
"IRREDUCIBLY COMPLEX!"
posted by hifiparasol at 12:46 PM on June 16, 2008 [9 favorites]

Looks like God has taken his revenge and wiped the site from the internets!
posted by dobbs at 12:54 PM on June 16, 2008

Yikes! Seemed to have dropped, getting on the phone with my host now.
posted by Jezztek at 1:00 PM on June 16, 2008

I came in here hoping that Turtles All The Way Down had posted something witty. I was not disappointed.
posted by PercussivePaul at 1:03 PM on June 16, 2008

Yeah, it'll be back as soon as they can reroute me to a heaver server apparently.
posted by Jezztek at 1:06 PM on June 16, 2008

awww... *blushes*
posted by Turtles all the way down at 1:07 PM on June 16, 2008

God is dead,' Nick said. 'They found his carcass in 2019. Floating out in space near Alpha.'
'They found the remains of an organism advanced several thousand times over what we are,' Charley said. 'And it evidently could create habitable worlds and populate them with living organisms, derived from itself. But that doesn't prove it was God.'

-- Philip K. Dick, Our Friends from Frolix 8
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:17 PM on June 16, 2008 [6 favorites]

only tangentially related: the custom-made shirt from that site with T-Rex playing drums with a nuclear explosion in the background is the most ultimate thing ever.
posted by xbonesgt at 1:23 PM on June 16, 2008

I always hate it when things end. Can you get me the most penultimate thing ever?
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:29 PM on June 16, 2008

Wow. I was expecting this to be kind of lame, but those are great.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 1:30 PM on June 16, 2008

Careful. Heaver servers have been known to throw big pages around clumsily.
posted by lostburner at 1:31 PM on June 16, 2008

I am loving the science ones. This one in particular makes me smile way too much.
posted by quin at 1:32 PM on June 16, 2008

Did we crash it?
posted by absalom at 1:39 PM on June 16, 2008

Um, where are the female scientists?
posted by Idcoytco at 1:58 PM on June 16, 2008

Did we crash it?

Should be back up now (at least according to my connection), went down for a good 10-15 minutes after a particularly big slam.
posted by Jezztek at 1:59 PM on June 16, 2008

I taught my twin 3 year olds, when asked if something is magic, to raise their arms up and shout "No, it's SCIENCE!"

Any sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic.
posted by DreamerFi at 2:05 PM on June 16, 2008

Idcoytco Um, where are the female scientists?

In responce to that let my copy/paste my answer to a similar question from the projects thread:

...It's one of those things to where my intent was not to exclude women per se, but the original concept for that line was to take the stereotypes about scientists and embrace/explode them.

So the scientists in my shirts are all these bald, glasses wearing, socially awkward, men with interchangeable personalities exactly because that is the perception I got from a lot of normal folks. So I had avoided using female scientists because a female scientist by her very nature defies the stereotypes I was trying to poke fun at and reclaim in some way.

That being said, I've learned you just can't fall in love with your original idea so deeply that in the end your product loses something because of it. So yeah, I assure you there will be females included in forthcoming Science! shirts.

So in short there weren't any because that site is about paryoding the stereotypes of science and scientists, and is certainly not meant to be an accurate portrayal of them. Of course, as posted above, I'll be including them in my next wave of designs since clearly there is a demand for it =)
posted by Jezztek at 2:06 PM on June 16, 2008

Are these t-shirts promoting the new documentary narrated by Rincewind Stein?
posted by JHarris at 2:23 PM on June 16, 2008

I so wanted to be annoyed that there was basically and ad for shirts on the front page but they are shirts that I wouldn't have seen otherwise and I love them. So thanks cerebus19 for the link and jezztek for the great shirt designs. I bought two. Pepsi Blue never tasted so sweet.
posted by DanielDManiel at 3:15 PM on June 16, 2008

Any sufficiently advanced science 3 year old is indistinguishable from magic.
posted by nicwolff at 3:15 PM on June 16, 2008 [4 favorites]

I've learned you just can't fall in love with your original idea so deeply that in the end your product loses something because of it.

That's what God said.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:16 PM on June 16, 2008

That's not a turtle, it's a tortoise. How could anyone wear such a blasphemous design?

Holden: You look down and see a tortoise, Leon. It's crawling toward you...
Leon: Tortoise? What's that?
Holden: You know what a turtle is?
Leon: Of course!
Holden: Same thing.
Leon: I've never seen a turtle. (pause) But I understand what you mean.
Holden: You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Leon.
Leon: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden? Or do they write 'em down for you?
Holden: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Leon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I'M NOT HELPING?
Holden: I mean you're not helping! Why is that, Leon?
posted by juv3nal at 3:35 PM on June 16, 2008 [2 favorites]

The tortoise/turtle distinction, along with alligator/crocodile, is becoming a bit of a bone of contention between my wife and I when it comes to the raising of our daughter and important matters of "animamal" identification during zoo visits and the reading of books.

If it’s got legs and not flippers it’s a tortoise dammit. And unless the sign says otherwise or it provably lives in Florida it’s a crocodile. Arguments about consistency being easier on her 19month old mind are just backsliding wuss-outs.
posted by Artw at 3:55 PM on June 16, 2008

FOR GOD'S SAKE ARTW DON'T SCREW UP ON BISON-BUFFALO!!
posted by Tube at 4:03 PM on June 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh, we just say "cow".
posted by Artw at 4:04 PM on June 16, 2008

Don't have a bison, man!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:11 PM on June 16, 2008

Heh, sorry about that...

These shirts are fantastic! Kudos on creating simple designs that express somewhat abstract notions. I've ordered two, Satan burying bones, and Flat Earth.

If I remember my Bertrand Russell correctly, some creationists explained away the apparent old age of the earth with the notion that "God created the world with evidence of time already in it". To which Russell suggested that if you buy that logic, then why not suppose that the world was created five minutes ago, but only seemed like billions of years. All our memories and history are false, and you probably need a haircut.

So my pony request is to create another t-shirt design depicting an old looking world which was created 5 minutes ago. A most amusing alternative cosmology...
posted by Tube at 4:16 PM on June 16, 2008 [2 favorites]

Why not have the earth as just a single moment, with the past and the future implicit from it?
posted by Artw at 4:18 PM on June 16, 2008

If it’s got legs and not flippers it’s a tortoise dammit.

What do you use as a general term to include all living sea, fresh water, and land dwelling anapsids? I have always been under the impression that one could use the word "turtle" for such a purpose without being yelled at, and that "tortoise" was a more specific and precise word for those "turtles" that happened to live on land. And this is coming from someone who has always made a distinction between alligators and crocodiles and has always used the word "bison" for what other people call "American buffalo" (except when ordering one in burger form when the menu says otherwise; I don't want to come off as a pretentious ass too often).

Besides, if the elephants were standing on a sea turtle then there would be no need for it to stand on infinitely many more turtles as clearly it could just swim.
posted by DanielDManiel at 4:36 PM on June 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

No, you are wrong.
posted by Artw at 5:08 PM on June 16, 2008

Oh, right then.
posted by DanielDManiel at 5:20 PM on June 16, 2008

Best argument ever.
posted by breath at 5:44 PM on June 16, 2008

Fantastic design work, Jezztek. Great idea, great execution. I can't say enough good things.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:59 PM on June 16, 2008

The difference is, you can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

sorry
posted by motty at 7:14 PM on June 16, 2008

... don't want to come off as a pretentious ass too often

I think you mean the Somali wild ass. Don't worry, a lot of people make this mistake.
posted by subgear at 7:21 PM on June 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Wait a second, WTF is that bullshit 5th element? CLOSE THE THREAD."

Beat-boxing is the fifth element.

(Not B-Boying/breakdancing, as is commonly assumed.)
posted by klangklangston at 7:57 PM on June 16, 2008

video gaming pays off - oh yeah that's my shirt.
posted by dabitch at 11:51 PM on June 16, 2008

I have always been under the impression that one could use the word "turtle" for such a purpose without being yelled at

Apparently not.
posted by burnmp3s at 4:18 AM on June 17, 2008

Apparently not.

Okay, so MeTa proves me wrong about the being yelled at bit, but at least wikipedia says that the tortoise/turtle thing is is just a American/Brit distinction. I am an American and wikipedia backs me up, so I am right, right? Wikipedia is always right, right? Clearly Americans are allowed to think of tortoises as just a "flavour" of turtles, right? Oh fuck all y'all, I still like the shirts...
posted by DanielDManiel at 4:43 AM on June 17, 2008

According to the Great Pratchett (Holy Horns) A'Tuin swims through the vastness of space with the Discworld balanced on its back.

Were it a tortoise, it would not be able to do this.

Therefore, this shirt is wrong. But it's still a cool T-shirt.
posted by jrochest at 4:09 PM on June 17, 2008

MeFiFollowUp - The site was recently featured in the Boston Globe's "Ideas blog", as well as in the ideas section of today's dead-tree edition. Congratulations, Jezztek!
posted by yhbc at 10:44 AM on June 22, 2008

Just as a warning to other people who order, I ordered 3 shirts and the two women's shirts in size L are bigger than the men's organic cotton L, which is already bigger than most men's L shirts from other online shirt places...

I am swimming in my shirts.
posted by hindmost at 2:58 PM on June 25, 2008

Since my last comment I have received and worn my first two shits, and everywhere I go people compliment me for them and ask me where I got them. Thanks again jezztek, and I hope I've done my part in expanding your business by word of mouth.
posted by DanielDManiel at 2:59 AM on June 27, 2008