Comments on: Found Feet

Found Feet

Neiltupper — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:53:31 -0800

Footloose. No, not the movie, and not the song, but the continuing mystery of feet washing up in the Strait of Georgia. Previously, previously and previously.

By: Neiltupper

Neiltupper — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:56:15 -0800

Update. Number Six found .

By: everichon

everichon — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:59:37 -0800

The woman asked Sandra Malone, manager of the Thunderbird RV Park, to call the police, who shortly arrived with a forensics team, who shortly arrived with a forensics team. Damn, even the forensics teams have forensics teams! You Canadians and your Big Government.

By: Turtles all the way down

Turtles all the way down — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:07:08 -0800

It's getting so my daughter and I can't take a simple walk along the beach without tripping over all the feet! Enough with the feet! We get it!

By: Keith Talent

Keith Talent — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:09:44 -0800

Pretty chilling to see this story on the front of today's Province Newspaper and see the foot story a couple pages later. I wonder if there's a connection?

By: Ziggurat

Ziggurat — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:11:53 -0800

Clearly a case of confirmation bias. Once you notice that one detached body part washing up on the shore is a foot, you tend to ignore the dozens of non-foot detached body parts you trip over while strolling on the beach.

By: jammy

jammy — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:12:08 -0800

No, not the movie, and not the song, what? why not? I want to see Kevin Bacon in a skinny tie show those uptight corndogs how to cut a rug!

By: jbickers

jbickers — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:14:02 -0800

Part of me has a sick feeling that this is a viral ad campaign. I sure hope not, but it wouldn't surprise me.

By: CCBC

CCBC — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:15:59 -0800

A sixth foot has been found. This is another right foot and may have been sawn off wheareas the others appear to have separated through decomposition. Four men who went down in a light plane were the primary candidates for the first five feet (DNA tests have not yet been finished) but this last one appears more sinister.

By: CCBC

CCBC — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:16:45 -0800

(Sorry Neil, I missed your update somehow).

By: ORthey

ORthey — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:16:50 -0800

This is all just an experiment to see how many times MeFites will post a new foot to the front page.

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:18:12 -0800

Footnotes.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:18:25 -0800

I will no longer complain when I find a shoe washed up on the beach.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:19:23 -0800

have the police taken a serious look at the shaggs?

By: Floydd

Floydd — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:20:29 -0800

I thought Canada used the metric system. Shouldn't they be converting those feet to meters?

By: synaesthetichaze

synaesthetichaze — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:26:07 -0800

My Pal Foot Foot Foot Foot Foot Foot. On preview, god dammit quonsar.

By: toddbass10

toddbass10 — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:28:07 -0800

swimming in that water would be a foot fetishes dream

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:28:34 -0800

My god, it's a Happening!

By: Floydd

Floydd — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:30:23 -0800

It may not be a Happening, but somethings afoot.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:32:13 -0800

You know how in cartoons, when someone gets hit by lightning, or stands next to an exploding barrel of gunpowder, when the smoke clears all that's left is their singed feet? This probably isn't anything like that, because those cartoon physics just aren't real.

By: cashman

cashman — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:33:19 -0800

[dramatic inappropriate severed limb joke]

By: mephron

mephron — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:33:33 -0800

Obviously the police kneed to take the next step, finish the DNA results so that they can contact the next of shin. But they also calf to tiptoe carefully, in case this is a serial killer, so they don't ankle him and can bring him to heel. I wonder if he'll become some investigator's arch enemy. That should be just about all the foot puns out of the way now.

By: mazola

mazola — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:33:38 -0800

This is my happening and it FREAKS me out!

By: the painkiller

the painkiller — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:34:15 -0800

"disarticulated" sounds so much more cultured than "severed", "accidentally amputated", or even the classic "involuntarily dismembered". "i say, octavia, i seem to have discovered another disarticulated distal extremity!" "oh, bother. i suppose we shall have to notify the local constabulary posthaste, eh, phineas?" "righty-ho!! my velocipede awaits!!"

By: everichon

everichon — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:36:23 -0800

i suppose we shall have to notify the local constabulary posthaste, eh, phineas? "Rem acu tetegisti", averred Jeeves.

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:38:50 -0800

A sixth foot has been found. This is another right foot So that's four lefts followed by two rights. If the next one's a lefty I'm going to be so disappointed with Ordered Chaos.

By: Floydd

Floydd — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:39:58 -0800

"You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one severed foot in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "What?"

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:46:30 -0800

No, wait, my bad, it's four rights, an left and then a right. Them when you reach the Schnozzle Cutoff, stop your car, get out, and cut off your Schnozzle. with apologies to Johnny Carson....

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:47:16 -0800

i think this is taking get it on the good foot a little too far

By: kingbenny

kingbenny — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:47:21 -0800

I like how at the end of the first linked article, the author tries, really really tries, to make it sound like there is some weird conspiratorial connection between all the people that are missing. Like, a lot of them are single males, some of them are depressed, some of them are really happy, etc. It's like taking a giant slice of a population and then describing how it breaks down. The most obvious conspiratorial connection between them that I could see was that they are all missing persons.

By: sgrass

sgrass — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:48:25 -0800

It's actually four rights, a left and then another right.

By: phliar

phliar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:49:45 -0800

Note that foot no. 6 is the only one that was mechanically disarticulated. Clearly the first five feet were decoys, to make the mounties think this sort of thing happens all the time. everichon: tetigisti, eh, what?

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:50:41 -0800

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:51:04 -0800

Metatarsalfilter.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:52:28 -0800

Not only do two lefts make a right, but four lefts apparently make two rights.

By: The Power Nap

The Power Nap — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:53:44 -0800

Eric was bored. It was the soul draining boredom that one can only attain during one's teenaged years; the boredom that coined the phrase "Idle hands are the devil's playthings". Working in the family funeral home didn't garner him much social status amongst his peers. The only girl that gave Eric any attention was the overweight asthmatic goth girl. Her father didn't care much for Eric, and made sure to keep an eye on him whenever they were together. This limiting factor constrained his intimate experiences to hurried HJs in the front seat of his Geo after school. Eric had a friend named Wess. Wess lost his right leg four years ago when some guy on a street bike lost control and hit him as he walked home. Wess damn near had his whole leg ripped off right there. The rider ended up going through a wrought iron fence, Egg slicer style. Wess being the indomitable type continued to run track once he recovered, leaving a dearth of right shoes in his closet. These right shoes always fascinated Eric. He would watch his friend run down the left shoe as the right stayed pristine. It was Nike's version of Dorian Grey. Eric was bored. Eric was undersexed. Eric had a friend with a lot of right shoes. Eric had access to corpses. He snapped the right foot off of one of the 'clients' they were prepping for cremation and stuffed it into a shoe. They had at least eight cremations this week, so he had plenty of material. This was going to make headlines; people were going to be looking for a killer. A killer who left right feet as clues. A killer that didn't' exist. It was 12 am when Eric threw in the first foot into the river. He watched it get swept away, and then threw in another, and another. Eric wasn't bored anymore. Now he could watch the news, and see where his little prank went.

By: Araucaria

Araucaria — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:54:19 -0800

I was expecting to see more sesquipedalian comments ...

By: Justinian

Justinian — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:54:29 -0800

Do we get a Metafilter post every single time more feet wash up? Because that would be great. And by great I mean not what Metafilter is for.

By: designbot

designbot — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:01:25 -0800

Apparenty joining the Mounties did not resolve McNulty's budget issues.

By: Evangeline

Evangeline — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:02:51 -0800

The most obvious conspiratorial connection between them that I could see was that they are all missing persons. That, and the fact that they're each missing a foot.

By: Neiltupper

Neiltupper — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:03:06 -0800

A killer who left right feet Make your mind up.

By: The Power Nap

The Power Nap — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:06:26 -0800

Neiltupper Microsoft Word sez: Sentence Fragment (consider revising)

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:31:32 -0800

With all this obsession with feet, nobody is helping my look for my ass. All I keep finding are holes in the ground.

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:57:28 -0800

The victim is described as a six-foot male...

By: optovox

optovox — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:02:22 -0800

Severed Feet Found On Beach, Police Stumped

By: horsewithnoname

horsewithnoname — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:15:40 -0800

Curtis Ebbesmeyer, a U.S. authority on ocean currents and drifting objects, said a disarticulated foot could float for up to 1,600 kilometres in a buoyant sneaker. This has to be the worst piece of trivia I've ever heard.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:19:24 -0800

This reminds me a story my grandfather told my father once. He was in the trenches in France in WWI and after a particularly exciting battle his battallion was advancing and he noticed a particularly nice German leather glove laying there in the mud. "Jolly nice glove," he thought, "Methinks I'll pinch it!" So turns out the glove had a still-warm hand in it, with a wedding band attached to the appropriate finger. He went crazy when he got back, locked himself in his room for ten years, and drank himself into oblivion. So, swings and roundabouts.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:21:44 -0800

Curtis Ebbesmeyer, a U.S. authority on ocean currents and drifting objects, said a disarticulated foot could float for up to 1,600 kilometres in a buoyant sneaker. This has to be the worst piece of trivia I've ever heard. Man, show some fucking interest in the myriad wonders of nature, whydoncha?

By: misha

misha — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:22:28 -0800

I keep thinking, "Why the one left foot?" That's the foot I would be looking over carefully, since it is the anomaly. What happened to the fifth victim that made his right foot unusable, that's the real question.

By: aihal

aihal — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:28:59 -0800

Does this mean the other shoe has dropped?

By: sexyrobot

sexyrobot — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:29:29 -0800

It's actually four rights, a left and then another right. so at least five people are missing feet and/or dead...oof...looks like another serial killer summer... And by great I mean not what Metafilter is for. know what metafilter really isn't for? post-bashing. it's rude as all fuck. dont like it? dont read it. dont comment. dont like the posting rules? start your own site. two different feet wash up in one week? sorry, buddy, that's news.

By: steef

steef — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:33:07 -0800

The killer is obviously an English major. Five feet would have been a pentameter, so the sixth makes it hexameter. Dactylic hexameter.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:41:30 -0800

It's actually four rights, a left and then another right. FATALITY!

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:43:48 -0800

And by great I mean not what Metafilter is for. Threads like this are what makes Metafilter great, for me, and if anyone says otherwise: I hope your foot falls off.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:54:59 -0800

24 more to a first down.

By: dersins

dersins — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:04:27 -0800

know what metafilter really isn't for? post-bashing. it's rude as all fuck. Know what it is for, though? Capitalization. Just sayin'.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:07:43 -0800

WTF (What The Foot)

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:15:02 -0800

People regularly drown and/or go missing all over the world, and you seldom hear of this happening. Looks more like a gang sign--people stepping in the wrong drug territory. You would think the cops must have some DNA matches by now.

By: Evangeline

Evangeline — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:39:22 -0800

So turns out the glove had a still-warm hand in it, with a wedding band attached to the appropriate finger. He went crazy when he got back, locked himself in his room for ten years, and drank himself into oblivion. See, now I'm just confused. I kinda' want to favorite this comment because it's a good story and it's well-told, but on the other hand, post traumatic stress syndrome is not funny, right? And war is bad. So is losing a hand. Very bad. And yet it made me giggle a little, which makes me bad. Oh, hell, I'll just favorite the damn thing.

By: bwg

bwg — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:05:07 -0800

Damn, maybe there really is a Margos Dezerian ...

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:18:30 -0800

Just looked at the map of the locations. One's in Ladner? Up river? Some other nutjob bastard up the Fraser is doing weird shit that nobody wants to notice or talk about. The pigs must not like feet that much.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:19:03 -0800

Evangeline: It's important for you to do whatever your heart tells you to do. Except in AskMe.

By: AwkwardPause

AwkwardPause — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:31:02 -0800

So... how many rights make a wrong?

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:33:22 -0800

Walter Sobchak: You want a foot? I can get you a foot, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. The Dude: Yeah, but Walter... Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a foot by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:37:48 -0800

Bizarre Japanese gameshow? Healthcare cut backs? Enhanced-Interrogation Techniques?

By: hal9k

hal9k — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:42:25 -0800

Four men who went down in a light plane were the primary candidates for the first five feet (DNA tests have not yet been finished) but this last one appears more sinister. So graft the four friendlier feet on these men and throw away the evil one.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:47:16 -0800

Durn: Actually that was a toe. Sorry. Couldn't resist adding that footnote.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:48:14 -0800

So graft the four friendlier feet on these men and throw away the evil one. If only we lived in The Fifth Element - one of those feet could turn out to belong to a really spunky alien babe.

By: Floydd

Floydd — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:16:38 -0800

Give some people a foot and they think they're a ruler.

By: subgear

subgear — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:25:16 -0800

This would have made a good episode of Six Feet Under.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:42:11 -0800

Know what it is for, though? Capitalization. Just sayin' that's ridiculous. remove foot from mouth.

By: TheWhiteSkull

TheWhiteSkull — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:56:07 -0800

The killer is obviously an English major. Five feet would have been a pentameter, so the sixth makes it hexameter. Dactylic hexameter. Favorited because I know several English majors who are already fucking nutjobs. I have to go have a conversation with the RCMP now.

By: _dario

_dario — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:00:35 -0800

Four rights, then a left and then again a right. I'm starting to see a pattern here. Might be a rumba?

By: Ron Thanagar

Ron Thanagar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:29:23 -0800

Why don't they just call a toe truck?

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:59:31 -0800

Just looked at the map of the locations. One's in Ladner? Up river? Two were found on islands in the Fraser River. Here's another map. So all six could have originated up river.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:21:43 -0800

Just looked at the map of the locations. One's in Ladner? Up river? Some other nutjob bastard up the Fraser is doing weird shit that nobody wants to notice or talk about. Upriver? Yeah.. that doesn't much sound like ocean currents, to me. Unless feet are like salmon. And on preview.. that's even scarier, w-g p. The pigs must not like feet that much. Eeeesh.... I'm normally an enormous fan of morbid humour, but I think it's fair to say 'too soon on the pig jokes'.

By: Bora Horza Gobuchul

Bora Horza Gobuchul — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:39:57 -0800

You stay classy, CNN

By: vytae

vytae — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:43:05 -0800

Oh man, that CNN screenshot just cracked me right up.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:40:18 -0800

With the discovery of the fifth foot, things took a sinister turn: the sixth, chopped from its owner, confirmed the police's suspicion that foul play was afoot. They could only hope that somewhere, somehow, a clue would turn up that would give them a leg up on the case.

By: jeffmik

jeffmik — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:41:57 -0800

I can't help but feel this is a viral ad for something.

By: bwg

bwg — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:33:05 -0800

I can't help but feel this is a viral ad for something. Chainsaws?

By: loiseau

loiseau — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:39:52 -0800

jeffmik said: "I can't help but feel this is a viral ad for something." Maybe a viral ad for the other post upthread that suggested it might be a viral ad?

By: aeschenkarnos

aeschenkarnos — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:46:20 -0800

One would assume that the easy way to test if the missing men owned the found feet is firstly to have their relatives look at the shoes, and secondly to do a DNA test. That would rule it in or out one way or the other.

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 06:32:57 -0800

It's actually four rights, a left and then another right. Maybe line dancing has come back from the dead?

By: kittyprecious

kittyprecious — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 08:40:03 -0800

Oh man, if I could give multiple favorites, Floydd's "Footprints" bit would be first in line. That's a real feat of ingenuity. Oh, so sorry.

By: sexyrobot

sexyrobot — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:54:02 -0800

Know what it is for, though? Capitalization. Just sayin' SORRY! SOMETIMES WHEN I TYPE IT'S LIKE I HAVE TWO LEFT FEET... Srsly, tho...my friends and I were discussing this last night and came to the conclusion that this area around Vancouver is like the South Pacific Gyre for feet. Like, due to the earth's natural topology, this area has become like a quantuum-mechanical-lowest-allowed-energy-state area for feet, and any loose ones automatically find their way here. It's really a sifting effect, and these feet could be from anywhere....

By: FatherDagon

FatherDagon — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:43:56 -0800

With the discovery of the fifth foot, things took a sinister turn Alright, I'm not one for big punny stretches, but that cracked me up.

By: mazola

mazola — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:47:47 -0800

And in this happening, here's the twist.

By: rmd1023

rmd1023 — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:29:32 -0800

"sixth" foot is a hoax. cbc article here

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:38:23 -0800

The Lord replied, "What?" You owe me a coke. And a new keyboard.

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:15:36 -0800

"sixth" foot is a hoax. -- cbc article here Yep. Latest 'foot' to wash ashore is animal paw.

By: raider

raider — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:11:08 -0800

Good thing none of the feet belonged to Omar Khadr, lest the jesting be deemed poor taste.