13 People In A Volvo

June 24, 2008 8:58 AM

Man fined for stuffing 13 people in a Volvo.Big news story today in Wales about a man fined and banned from driving for driving around Llandudno with 12 passengers in his Volvo. There's a handy little film attached so you can see just how difficult this is. Great to see license fee money being used for such hard-hitting investigative journalism like this, silly season's come early. Giving the current fuel costs in the UK, expect to see more of this OTT car pooling.
posted by Dio (44 comments total)

"Hey, you clowns! Get out of that car!"
posted by yhbc at 9:01 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

WelshFilter. Actually, my uncle runs a sheep farm a bit north of Llandudno and drives a Volvo, so my first thought was that I'd finally get to see him on the web. Ah well, next time.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:07 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Best part of the video:

Idiot BBC Newsdrone: "Well we've tried to put 13 people into, um, the back of this Volvo, but, um, as you can see, um, we've failed. There are still one, two, three of our children, still can't get inside. In fact its a huge squeeze just to get . . . . [very, very long stretch of dead air as she tries to subtract 3 from 13] . . . um, the people that we've got . . . in the back . . . in."

Awesome.
posted by The Bellman at 9:19 AM on June 24, 2008

Look in the tunk!
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:19 AM on June 24, 2008

Since when do toddlers count as people when filling cars?
posted by dobbs at 9:23 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Since when do toddlers count as people when filling cars?

I don't get this either. I'm sure I could jam at least 50 babies into a Volvo, and that's not including the trunk.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 9:26 AM on June 24, 2008 [4 favorites]

Since when do toddlers count as people when filling cars?

Since the Volvo Stuffing Protocol Evaluation Committee issued it's seminal report, Discussion of Human Identification Parameters, in 2003.
posted by DU at 9:34 AM on June 24, 2008

Was Toonces the Faceless Driving Cat at the wheel?
posted by pracowity at 9:34 AM on June 24, 2008

My favorite line of the article is this:

"I've been silly in what I've done, but not dangerous."

And it makes me want to do this:

Metafilter: silly, but not dangerous.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 9:39 AM on June 24, 2008

from the story: "I've been silly in what I've done, but not dangerous."

The old "I've been silly" defense - very hard to beat in the courts.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:42 AM on June 24, 2008 [3 favorites]

> Was Toonces the Faceless Driving Cat at the wheel?

Think how many people you could have fit in there if you removed their faces first.
posted by ardgedee at 9:43 AM on June 24, 2008

That video was the easily the saddest attempt to cram a car I've ever seen. I actually want to apply for a job at the BBC just so I can climb up the corporate ladder to a height of authority sufficient to fire that woman for going about that clip as she did.

What you do is you round up thirteen stoned teenager, film them doing their best to cram into every bit of space in the vehicle, and then use that. It doesn't even matter if they manage to get all thirteen in or not; the footage will be entertaining either way, and the point will be made, and you won't look like some helpless idiot.
posted by cortex at 9:47 AM on June 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

I don't get this either. I'm sure I could jam at least 50 babies into a Volvo, and that's not including the trunk.

You should see how many Branch Davidians I can fit in mine.
posted by inigo2 at 9:50 AM on June 24, 2008

I've lost respect for all things related to England.
posted by HuronBob at 9:50 AM on June 24, 2008

You should see how many Branch Davidians I can fit in mine.

Whole or in parts?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 9:52 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

When I was at uni, we fit 11 into a morris 1100. The cop who pulled us over didn't seem to mind too much. I think he was glad that the 10 drunks weren't driving and the single sober person was.
posted by boydmain at 9:52 AM on June 24, 2008

I've lost respect for all things related to England.

There are a bunch of angry Welshmen spitting consonants, pricing trips to your house and wondering whether they can carry their farm implements onto the plane.

GERALLT: Cefin, we'll staaab HuronBob with our muck forks, we will. 'Twill be lovely!

CEFIN: Caff cwmbyllt moddwn ddyffllddwff!
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:02 AM on June 24, 2008 [16 favorites]

"I fit 16 people in me car, the other day."
"Thas nothing, Evan. We fit 12749 consonants in our town's name, just for a laff."
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:07 AM on June 24, 2008 [6 favorites]

How do you get to Wales in a Volvo?
One in the front, twelve in the back... I'm here all week, tell your friends!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:09 AM on June 24, 2008

What this story doesn't reveal is that the stunt was the result of a wager. The man knew better than to Welsh on a bet.
posted by Eideteker at 10:14 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Great to see license fee money being used for such hard-hitting investigative journalism like this

I see what you did there.

You've followed the example of the British broadsheets, who, whenever they want to report a Britney Spears/Amy Winehouse/Charles and Camilla type story, do so by disparaging the tabloids, who are currently obsessed with the absolutely pointless and trivial fact that a man lost his licence by filling a Volvo with 12 passengers and driving around Llandudno, blah, blah, blah...

Our illustrious readers would never stoop so low as to find a lame story like this interesting. Nevertheless, as so many of them are high powered media executives, it's essential that we keep them up to date on current media trends so that they don't have to read the Sun/watch the BBC/pay a license fee for themselves.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:19 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

If there's any silver-lining to this, it's that if they crashed they would all survive because it's a Volvo.
posted by fijiwriter at 10:20 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I rode in a bunch of Renault station wagons, used as bush taxis, with about that many adults in them. There were three rows of seats, admittedly, but even so I think counting infants and children in the total is cheating. Full discomfort is only attained when you have so many people sitting across that you have had to remove the window cranks for that extra half-inch of space, and even then sometimes the door will fly open from the pressure. Bonus points for a person in the middle getting carsick.
posted by Forktine at 10:25 AM on June 24, 2008

The BBC reporter is using an S40 in that video. He was driving the bigger S70.
posted by Zambrano at 10:27 AM on June 24, 2008

The BBC reporter is using an S40 in that video. He was driving the bigger S70. The S70 has a third row of seats that pop up from the floor.
posted by Zambrano at 10:27 AM on June 24, 2008

They conveniently skipped over the fact that it was a Volvo FH.
posted by GuyZero at 10:30 AM on June 24, 2008

AND she didn't stick anyone in the boot. She's obviously not done this before.
posted by 999 at 10:33 AM on June 24, 2008

That video was the easily the saddest attempt to cram a car I've ever seen.

"The media" usually produces the saddest attempts at anything I've ever seen. I definitely wished I could shout at the woman "HORIZONTALLY! THEY NEED TO START GOING IN HORIZONTALLY!"
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:47 AM on June 24, 2008

Although the article doesn't mention this (commendably for serious news), I know that when I was reading this earlier I quickly noted that the driver, and presumably the additional twelve, involved were probably all traditional Orthodox Jews. It's not anything specific to being part of that community, but it is one of those religious traditions that still encourages a lot of children (sounds like possibly another family's set of kids were involved). Combine that with what is probably his penurious salary as a teacher, given the amount of kids, and you have a situation where a holiday in Wales in a baker's dozen Volvo probably sounds pretty sensible, and more importantly, can fit in the budget.

(I need to learn to write less parenthetically.)
posted by Gnatcho at 10:48 AM on June 24, 2008

Pfft. We once put 11 people in[*] a much smaller car than that to get home from a bar. And none of them were children. And some of them were fat.

[*] For certain values of 'in' that include 'standing onto the bumper holding onto the spoiler while we drove home'.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:05 AM on June 24, 2008

That video needed to be sped up, with Benny Hill music.
posted by gottabefunky at 11:06 AM on June 24, 2008

WelshFilter. Actually, my uncle runs a sheep farm a bit north of Llandudno...

Amphibious sheep, now there's a real WelshFilter story.
posted by ceiriog at 11:07 AM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

The article did not at all answer WHY, though I'm sure it did fine with the other Ws. I'm not sure I could find 12 people to put in my car, much less ones who'd want to come trawling slowly around the countryside with me. How they would fit it is simply just filler (tee. hee).
posted by artifarce at 11:16 AM on June 24, 2008

Amphibious sheep

*gasp* I meant Llandrindod.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:24 AM on June 24, 2008

I hope Top Gear gets ahold of this story...
posted by hamfisted at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2008

Bah, and double-bah. When I was a teenager in the midwest, we stuffed eleven people into a first-generation Honda CRX, *and* we all got out, ran around the car, and jumped back in when we were stopped at red lights.

of course, this was only made possible by leaving the hatchback open and being very, very young and stupid.
posted by davejay at 11:43 AM on June 24, 2008

"Get back in! It's only funny with the small car!"
posted by TwoWordReview at 1:05 PM on June 24, 2008

I was pulled over and ticketed in high school for having 12 people in my Jeep, which wasn't very big at all.

I should have gotten a publicist.
posted by dhammond at 1:45 PM on June 24, 2008

I'm sure I could jam at least 50 babies into a Volvo, and that's not including the trunk.

Even more if you use a blender.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 2:21 PM on June 24, 2008

You should see how many Branch Davidians I can fit in mine.
Whole or in parts?

I was gonna make the ash tray joke, but thought it was too obvious.
posted by inigo2 at 2:37 PM on June 24, 2008

I'm sure I could jam at least 50 babies into a Volvo,

We must have different models. The best I've been able to do is 32.
posted by quin at 3:48 PM on June 24, 2008

I'm sure I could jam at least 50 babies into a Volvo

Better that than a single baby in 50 Volvos.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:07 PM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Better than making baby jam 50 times in one Volvo.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:38 PM on June 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

why does the flash video player go to eleven? that's just fucked up.
posted by tehloki at 10:27 PM on June 25, 2008