Just imagine what it could do with a pop tart.

June 24, 2008 11:20 AM

"Using the power generated by a high-pressure CO2 gas system and mechanical ram, Yauner managed to get his toast to pop up about seven feet into the air—which was enough to set the record." The Moaster is the highest-popping toaster in the world. Video evidence is provided.
posted by Afroblanco (23 comments total)

In all seriousness, the state of toaster technology is incredibly sub-optimal. Major problems include:

• Crumbs


• Outside of toaster hot to touch


• Counter space (why not a fold-out/down model?)


• Reproducible results, i.e. the 1st piece of toast and the 8th should come out the same color with the same settings

posted by DU at 11:46 AM on June 24

(Also, even knowing what was going to happen, I still LOLed @ the video)
posted by DU at 11:48 AM on June 24

I never realized before that all my life I've been in need of something called "The Moaster."
posted by lekvar at 12:13 PM on June 24

Let's see how it handles bagels
posted by ddaavviidd at 12:18 PM on June 24

I was just working on a post for this! It's part of Yauner's "Because We Can" series. I like The Fastest Clock in the World.

I also like the stick figure that gets tired of just standing there.
posted by hydrophonic at 12:19 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

Pull!
posted by yhbc at 12:23 PM on June 24

Let's see how it handles bagels

This is an insufficiently ambitious vision. How about bacon? Launched directly onto my plate, or better into my mouth, from the toaster?

..."Because We Can" series...

Whoa, I like this. I saw the fast clock over on Make's blog but I didn't know there was a whole thing.
posted by DU at 12:24 PM on June 24

Flying Toast
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:33 PM on June 24

the state of toaster technology is incredibly sub-optimal

Not if you have money. A really good toaster just costs a bit. If you want a more traditional model, a 4-slice Hobart will do the job for a little over 900 USD. If you're apt to have a few guests for breakfast, try the Roundup VCT-25 Vertical Contact Toaster. It makes 2,800 slices per hour and costs about 1150 USD.

They aren't small, but toast is more important than counter space. Anyway, there are limits to toaster smallitude.
posted by pracowity at 12:37 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

Cracking toast, Gromit!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 12:40 PM on June 24

Powdered... Toast... Man!!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 12:45 PM on June 24

The Final Cylon has revealed itself at last...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:53 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

7 feet? I can throw toast farther than that. With my toes.

Springs, man. Mechanical ram? CO2 powered? BIG ASS SPRINGS, OK? A piece of toast weighs only a few grams. What you need is massive acceleration and exit velocity, not the repurposed innards of an aircraft carrier launch rail. Big fuckoff springs, man. If you throw slices of bread through atmosphere fast enough it toasts itself!
posted by loquacious at 12:54 PM on June 24

I'm with loquacious, 7 feet hardly seems impressive. Really big springs and strawberry Pop Tarts, now that would be awesome.
posted by tommasz at 1:04 PM on June 24

You've touched on a family legend here. My grandfather was a scientist and inventor, with a full machine shop and laboratory in his basement. He would fix those clocks that only needed winding once every ten years. When his neighbor asked if he could fix a toaster, you guessed it, the toast shot out.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:16 PM on June 24

Ceiling toast is watching you marmalade.

"In all seriousness, the state of toaster technology is incredibly sub-optimal."

There's this and this.
posted by Eideteker at 1:38 PM on June 24 [2 favorites]

Major problems include:
Reproducible results, i.e. the 1st piece of toast and the 8th should come out the same color with the same settings

I want a good quality halftone with adjustable screen angles.
posted by Kabanos at 1:49 PM on June 24

There's this

Looks kind of neat. Wait a minute...

Inventables, the design company behind this masterpiece, says that currently the glass doesn't get hot enough to toast bread, but maybe in the future.

Great. I just love conceptual design.
posted by splice at 1:49 PM on June 24

Where is my 512px x 512px image uploadable dot matrix toast printer??? WHERE?
posted by stenseng at 3:29 PM on June 24

Where is my 512px x 512px image uploadable dot matrix toast printer??? WHERE?

Right here.
posted by 7segment at 4:23 PM on June 24 [2 favorites]

Oh what the hell. Rapid prototyping printers are a reality now, and are even attainable by individuals (although not cheaply). Yet, you still can't make me a clear toaster that's anything more than a conceptual design? I've seen commercials, I know that if I had some quantity of money I could purchase a stove that would boil a huge ol' pot of water in 90 seconds.

Yet I still have to wait several minutes for toast, and getting it to come out right is a grueling art form. This is not the future.

What the fuck, science.
posted by Stunt at 4:32 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

There's this and this.

I love them, but my complaints are about function, not form. Do these toasters actually work better than current toasters?
posted by DU at 5:44 PM on June 24

I can see this thing imbedding a bagel into a damp ceiling tile at 10 paces.
B.S. Johnson's toaster oven. NOTE: do NOT toast dwarf bread inside!



(with apologies to Terry Pratchett)
posted by Sam.Burdick at 9:57 PM on June 24