Bicycle Lock / Planter - get your bike out of the hall

July 1, 2008 2:32 AM

Bicycle Lock / PlanterThis is a very simple invention. It is a big planter that you put in the waste of space at the front of your house and lock your bike to it. I had seen them popping up here and there in London but only found out today where they came from. Great video of the strength test - esp the freeze and then hit with a big hammer.
posted by priorpark17 (44 comments total)

The video doesn't show the part where I sneak up on the little punk trying to steal my bike, freeze him, and then hit him with a big hammer.
That is perhaps the best part.
Please advise.
posted by Dizzy at 3:13 AM on July 1, 2008 [2 favorites]

It's a cute idea. But as a Londoner I can tell you, you'd be nuts to leave your bike outside the front of your house whether it's locked or not.
posted by rhymer at 3:24 AM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

And then two guys come up- one grabs the bike and one handle, the other grabs the other handle, and your bike is gone.

Don't leave your bike outside.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:27 AM on July 1, 2008

Yeah, when they get pissed off from hammering on the bar on the planter, they gonna start hammering on your bike in retaliation.

And wouldn't your bike get all rusty from living outside?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:32 AM on July 1, 2008

I like to use the 7 or so machines that issue newspapers, stuck on corners, blocking access to crossing, and all under the guise of "freedom of the press." tip: put in the money required for a paper, then use the ad section to keep the slot open so all those after yhou can get free papers. This is the social and civic minded thing to do.
posted by Postroad at 3:44 AM on July 1, 2008

Postroad: I'm sure the vending machine owner appreciates you destroying his weekly income.
posted by mkb at 3:53 AM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm very impressed. I'd like to see that test with a portable angle grinder, and I can imagine a couple of improvements to the design.
posted by sparklejess at 4:02 AM on July 1, 2008

It's £135. That's rather expensive for something that won't actually prevent bike theft. I always assumed that it was some sort of societal hangup that was responsible for Britain's refusal to have any serious legal penalties for property crime. Now I'm thinking maybe it's lobbying from the alarm system companies, CCTV sellers and people selling stuff like this.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:20 AM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

How is that sledgehammer not even bending the handle, nor the hacksaw cutting it. The entire thing has got to be solid steel.

Seems like a pretty good idea for times when you want the bike outside, but not necessarily right on the street.
posted by DU at 4:27 AM on July 1, 2008

I chain my bike to a very large can of Pepsi Blue
posted by mattoxic at 4:27 AM on July 1, 2008 [4 favorites]

Mayor Curley writes "I always assumed that it was some sort of societal hangup that was responsible for Britain's refusal to have any serious legal penalties for property crime."

It's all the peasants and Irish who, for stealing a loaf of bread, got "hung up" (or later Transported).
posted by orthogonality at 4:40 AM on July 1, 2008 [2 favorites]

What I do is I have a lifesize inflatable doll (for women) that sits on my bike when not in use. That way would be thieves always think theres some dude with a huge erection using the bike and never steal it. I'll make a fpp post about it tomorrow, complete with purchasing options.
posted by norabarnacl3 at 5:31 AM on July 1, 2008 [2 favorites]

But as a Londoner I can tell you, you'd be nuts to leave your bike outside the front of your house whether it's locked or not.

I left my bicycle parked outside of my flat in NW3 for 2 years and no one ever messed with it. Save your money on locks - and planters. Buy the cheapest bike you can - one that you would not care if it were stolen - and thieves seem to leave them alone. My flatmate who insisted on riding a Specialized penis extender seemed to be buying a new bicycle every few months. (Lots of people with small peckers apparently.)
posted by three blind mice at 5:41 AM on July 1, 2008 [4 favorites]

I actually like this idea, and would be willing to try to build one if I knew how to weld.

While I don't live in London, my bike has been locked up to my front porch for nearly 3 years now and *knock on wood* it hasn't been stolen yet. I also leave it locked in front of my work place. The especially strange thing about this is, my wife's much cheaper junk bike was nearly stolen and all of my crusty huffies but not my good commuter bike.
posted by drezdn at 6:13 AM on July 1, 2008

I think it is a nice idea -- much more beautiful than the usual bike parking things, while giving some measure of real-world security.

I wouldn't worry about an angle grinder or oxy-acetylene torch -- I hope you might notice one of those being used under your front window. Anyway bike locks are easy enough to cut, so all this has to be is about as strong as the metal in a U-lock.

In a really high-theft area, you bring your bike inside. But in most places, basic locking is enough most of the time. If anyone starts selling this in the US, I could see buying one to give friends something to lock their bikes to in front of my place for the evening.
posted by Forktine at 6:14 AM on July 1, 2008

Silly question, but how hard is it to empty the planter? And then make off with the planter and bike?
posted by Mercaptan at 6:15 AM on July 1, 2008

Does spending money on a really heavy metal thing make my bike lock any stronger or resistent to Mr. Freeze and MC Hammer?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 6:17 AM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

Doesn't it rain all the time in London? Wouldn't your chain and derailers rust into useless lumps of steel if you left them out all the time?
posted by octothorpe at 6:20 AM on July 1, 2008

But they can always just steal the seat? Well unless.
posted by jeffburdges at 6:38 AM on July 1, 2008

I left my bicycle parked outside of my flat in NW3 for 2 years and no one ever messed with it. Save your money on locks - and planters. Buy the cheapest bike you can - one that you would not care if it were stolen - and thieves seem to leave them alone.

I thought that until I had a bike that had been run over by a car and had a bent frame, warped rims and plenty of rust stolen. Now I have to settle for bikes that are true rather than delightfully crooked.
posted by srboisvert at 6:44 AM on July 1, 2008

£135! That's like $270. Screw the bike - I'd steal and sell the planter.
posted by Bugg at 6:50 AM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

Ha, the article says it's stronger than most bicycle chains/locks. I'd just go through the bike chain.

And it's not attractive; looks like something I'd throw trash into...
posted by tadellin at 6:57 AM on July 1, 2008

Around here, at least, I see plenty of well-locked bikes with their wheels kicked in. Some percentage of the population is comprised of total asses; why would you leave your bike around them, locked or no?
posted by Dr.Enormous at 7:00 AM on July 1, 2008

I'd use an angle grinder or sheet metal shears and cut away the sheet metal the handle's attached to. Once one end's free, it can be twisted around and the bike lock slid off. Shears would be a lot less noisy than most of the hand tools that guy was using.
posted by ardgedee at 7:05 AM on July 1, 2008

tadellin writes 'Ha, the article says it's stronger than most bicycle chains/locks. I'd just go through the bike chain.'

Yeah, that does seem to be a whopping great flaw in their plan. I mean, who cares how heavy and strong the thing you lock your bike to is when pretty much every commercially available bike lock can be snapped/sawn through/unlocked with a ballpoint pen/&c.?
posted by jack_mo at 7:30 AM on July 1, 2008

Silly question, but how hard is it to empty the planter? And then make off with the planter and bike?

The drawing shows that it is held down by four bolts. Assuming that they have security heads or are welded down, it will take a lot longer to uproot the planter than it would be to just cut the stupid lock already.
posted by Forktine at 7:40 AM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

Yeah, that does seem to be a whopping great flaw in their plan. I mean, who cares how heavy and strong the thing you lock your bike to is when pretty much every commercially available bike lock can be snapped/sawn through/unlocked with a ballpoint pen/&c.?

I think you folks are being pretty ridiculous. Obviously these things are for people who can't bring their bikes inside so they've got to lock it to something. If the lock is cheap, the thief is gonna go thru it no matter what it's locked to but if it's a quality lock (and that pen lid problem's been solved) then they're going to have to go thru the thing it's locked to.

In my city, the gov't provides these, which the thieves have ways of getting thru if the posts on Craigslist are to be believed. (Part of the problem is 99 out of 100 riders lock their bike to the ring and not the post like they're supposed to.)

Me, I'd take a planter over the ring+post.
posted by dobbs at 8:06 AM on July 1, 2008

(Part of the problem is 99 out of 100 riders lock their bike to the ring and not the post like they're supposed to.)

Hm? If you lock to the post and they get the ring off, they have your bike. If you lock to the ring and they get the ring off, they have your bike, but they also have the Heavy Ring Of Shame, and I'd like to think any cyclist would "stop to chat" with someone lugging a ring attached to a bike.
posted by regicide is good for you at 8:22 AM on July 1, 2008

Always important to lock your bike up!
posted by Xoebe at 8:42 AM on July 1, 2008

If you lock to the post and they get the ring off, they have your bike. If you lock to the ring and they get the ring off, they have your bike, but they also have the Heavy Ring Of Shame...

Topology to the rescue! Lock to both!
posted by DU at 8:48 AM on July 1, 2008

If you lock to the post and they get the ring off, they have your bike.

These thieves aren't removing the ring to get the bikes, they're cutting through them. If you lock to the ring they only have to cut through one thing to get the bike. If you lock to the post they have to cut through both sides of the ring or the substantially larger post. If you look closely at the photo, the left side of the ring even says "Lock your bike to the POST" right on it.
posted by dobbs at 9:02 AM on July 1, 2008

I'd use thermite. Or det-cord.

But then, I don't need a bike and I like to see stuff on fire.
posted by quin at 9:06 AM on July 1, 2008 [2 favorites]

I prefer locking my scooter to "no bicycles" signs.
posted by Foosnark at 9:19 AM on July 1, 2008

dobbs, I assumed you were referring to the 2x4 thing, which, as it turns out, makes it irrelevant which part you lock to - unless you were lucky enough to lock to the half of the ring that didn't come off on the first try (but if you locked to the post as well, they could probably lift your lock off).

I've never heard of people actually cutting through the rings. That sounds like it would draw far more attention than cutting a lock - but there are some pretty brazen thieves out there, I guess.
posted by regicide is good for you at 9:27 AM on July 1, 2008

This is exactly what we need for our situation--though not badly enough to pay $270. I wonder how much it would cost to have one fabbed...we have a couple of good welding companies around here.
posted by everichon at 9:55 AM on July 1, 2008

That's a great idea! If I got TWO of those and locked my bike between them I might have my frame left the next morning.

Actually, I do think it's a good idea- for in front of stores where you need to lock up for just a quick minute or two.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:21 AM on July 1, 2008

dobbs writes 'I think you folks are being pretty ridiculous. Obviously these things are for people who can't bring their bikes inside so they've got to lock it to something. If the lock is cheap, the thief is gonna go thru it no matter what it's locked to but if it's a quality lock (and that pen lid problem's been solved) then they're going to have to go thru the thing it's locked to.'

Do bike thieves ever do that? I've never heard of them sawing down signposts/iron fences/street furniture to get to a bike - if the lock is rubbish, they'll break it, if it's good, they'll move on. In other words, this planter thing doesn't add any security to your lock, and isn't a deterrent to thieves. Since streets are full of lampposts and such, I'd say spending half the money on a really decent lock is better value for money.
posted by jack_mo at 11:13 AM on July 1, 2008

Pope Guilty said: "Don't leave your bike outside."

Ha. I live in Montreal. I guess I'll be needing your help carrying my bike up and down three storeys of wrought-iron spiral staircase, then.
posted by loiseau at 11:52 AM on July 1, 2008

I left my bicycle parked outside of my flat in NW3 for 2 years...

I live in E1 - postcode lottery eh? Although to be fair I've also had crap, cheap bikes stolen in W1 and W2.

(note to non Brits - London postcodes, especially in their full form (e.g. E1 2LY) are very precise and tell you vast amounts about the people living in them. But for a small strip by the City where I do not live, alas, E1 is considerably poorer and more urban than NW3)
posted by rhymer at 12:48 PM on July 1, 2008

I'd noticed a few days ago that somebody down the street from me has a couple of these out front of their house - on a street of 3 storey rowhouses in N1, Islington, in front of the dark car right under the tree here. I guess around here it's safe enough to do so, plus the streetlamps are all huge fat things you can't lock a bike to anyway. But do you really have the right to just put them in the road like this? You sure as hell couldn't do that in Montreal.
posted by Flashman at 3:00 PM on July 1, 2008

loiseau- that's pretty comparable to what I do, but then I'm in love with my bike.
posted by small_ruminant at 3:23 PM on July 1, 2008

It's totally worth it to take it inside if you're physically able. I did when I lived in a basement apartment. But I just can't manage the lift up and down three storeys every day (at least once).

I like the idea of this planter thing but obvy I have nowhere to put one. Plus I'd need to see it in person before I could really trust it. It just doesn't look that imposing to me.
posted by loiseau at 3:30 PM on July 1, 2008

Do bike thieves ever do that?

Bike thieves certainly attack the weakest part.
posted by mendel at 5:41 PM on July 1, 2008

My bike lives outside in a climate similar to London's, and while I think it would be better off indoors it's spent two years outside without any rust problems. I'd get one of these planters if I thought it might deter criminals, but given they cost as much as my actual bike I think I'll pass.
posted by penguinliz at 10:53 AM on July 2, 2008